1 MAY 07: PUSHING SOUTH
Monday was the deadline for homeless people to move away from land under the Second Avenue Bridge. If you're wondering where those people are going - well, I'll put it this way. You're far more likely to find them around the Civic Center than in Green Island Hills.
BLOGGER BEGGAR #7 of 2007 came my way the other afternoon, on my last laundry day. "How're you doing?" a woman in lavender said in a loud voice as I walked in the door on South Lumpkin Road. I didn't know coin laundries were following the example of Wal-Mart, and hiring greeters.
"Hi," I said quietly as I walked by to the washers. Bits of fluid in my lungs are keeping me on the quiet side these days. The woman in lavender muttered something about my reply, to a person sitting next to her. But I had a two-hour "window" from work to get my clothes cleaned -- and guys tend to be task-focused, you know.
As I sorted out my clothing into two washers - wait, I'd better stop right here and make a true confession. I was taught long ago to divide my white items into one load, and the "colors" with permanent press items into another. If this makes me guilty of segregation, I'd like to know how minority groups deal with this.
But anyway: as I sorted out my clothing, I had a funny feeling the woman in lavender was going to talk with me again - and sure enough, she turned around in her chair. "Do you have 50 cents?" So this greeter expected a tip....
"What do you need it for?" This coin laundry does NOT have vending machines for soap or fabric softener - only food and soft drinks. If you show up without your detergent, it's up to you to try that old club soda trick on stains.
"A bag of chips. I'm hungry." The woman in lavender couldn't be thirsty, because she had a half-full bottle of Walgreens soda in her hand. At least I assumed the golden liquid inside was soda....
This seemed like an easy need to fulfill - getting the chips, as opposed to giving the woman money. So what happened? The snack machine in the laundry refused to accept any of my quarters, or even a dollar bill. If only more politicians acted this way....
"Let me get my laundry started, and I'll go buy you the chips," I assured the woman in lavender. I was a bit surprised that she accepted this. Many beggars would have moved on - deciding anything that isn't cash might as well be trash.
I returned to laundry sorting, and the woman in lavender continued a conversation with someone sitting next to her. I couldn't quite hear everything she said - but I think I heard a "God is good" among her scattered four-letter words.
But I had a lot of clothes to wash - more than the woman could handle, because she walked out of the laundry before I finished sorting. Yet I had the advantage, because she was slow and slightly staggering. If we wound up in a footrace, it might be on the order of those slow-motion scenes in "Chariots of Fire."
Finally I started the washers and headed for the door to find the begging woman. "She was kind of aggravating," said the man who listened to her long talk.
"We still have time to find her," I answered - clearly showing I hadn't listened to much of what she said.
The woman in lavender surprised me, by walking a long way down the strip mall sidewalk. "I can buy you your chips now," I said as I drew close to her. She seemed a bit surprised in response - probably because no man had pursued her for ANY reason in a long time.
The woman was in front of a small food store, but she refused to go in and buy food. "Can you give me 50 cents? A dollar?" For all the effort I'd made, you'd think she'd offer me a discount.
I noted the small food store had chips inside, but the woman only reluctantly went in with me. "Get those crackers there," she said - pointing to a six-pack of crackers, then retreating back out the door. I'm not sure why she was more comfortable in a laundry with no access to food at all.
The crackers actually saved me money, at about 45 cents a pack. As I walked outside the store after paying for them, I found the woman in lavender talking to someone who had stopped a car in the strip mall driveway. She leaned into the car through the passenger-side window - something not even Sonic car hops dare to do.
I handed the woman her pack of crackers, and apparently interrupted the pitch to her next customer. "This man could only afford to give me 50 cents," was all she said in acknowledgment of what I'd done. Well, not exactly -- 50 cents was all she wanted in the first place, and I had to chase her down to provide her help. Some beggars stretch the truth, as well as a quarter.
BLOGGER BEGGAR #8 was waiting for me Monday afternoon, as if this wasn't enough. As I walked to a convenience store on Fourth Street for soda, a man sat outside by a store corner. You don't have to consider gambling on the lottery at this store -- the odds were 60-40 he'd ask me for a handout, before I even walked inside.
"Do you have any spare change? A nickel or a dime?" Wilbur asked. He showed me a cheap paper cup with scattered change in it.
"I don't have a nickel or a dime," I said, and this was true. I intentionally walked to the store with a five-dollar bill to break by buying soda - and one mere penny for sales tax.
"What would you use the money for?" I asked Wilbur.
"Some soda." Beggars never seem to talk about getting a big return on their investments, by playing Keno.
"Let's go in, and I'll buy you soda" - but of course, Wilbur couldn't go inside the store.
"They barred me from the store."
"Why?"
"Because I was begging." At least he was business-loyal, through it all....
"Get me a Cherry Coke, in a bottle," Wilbur instructed me. Have you noticed a recent price jump in 20-ounce bottles of soda - up to $1.39 at most convenience stores? My refill cup promoting the 2005 Talladega NASCAR races looks more and more like a valuable antique.
As I approached the cash register with a bottle AND a refill cup of soda, I asked the woman behind the counter if she'd barred some people from the store for begging. Yes, some people were barred - but the woman didn't think it was for begging. Maybe they dared to holler "Money Back" in a crowded Spectrum.
I walked out of the store and handed Wilbur his bottle of Cherry Coke. "Thanks," he said. "This is good."
"Very well," I said nonchalantly as I tried to walk away toward home.
"You ever tried it?"
"Yes, I have."
"Real good, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is. Anything else?"
Oops. Wilbur took a deep breath and said, "Can you come back in awhile and buy me a sandwich?" He caught me asking too open-ended a question.
I normally have a "one request per beggar" rule, but I tried to make up for my showdown defeat. "I live about a block away from here. You can come to my house."
"I thought we'd go to another store a little later, and buy a sandwich." This is a beggar's version of sharing the wealth.
"We can cut through the middleman," I told Wilbur. "You can come to my house, and I can make you a...." Oops again. I quickly considered my food stocks. "A jelly sandwich or something." Yes, some single guys do NOT have stockpiles of bologna and cheese slices.
Wilbur seemed to agree to stop by my apartment at 6:30 - and he had a nice big watch on his wrist. I didn't bother checking if it worked, or was just for show.
I was prepared to "trade up" with Wilbur, and heat him a frozen chicken dinner in the microwave. But 6:30 came and went -- and Wilbur didn't even show up by 7:05. The only fascinating visitor to appear in my living room was (ahem) ABC News correspondent Gigi Stone, reporting on raw milk.
Perhaps Wilbur found someone else to buy him a sandwich. Perhaps he lost track of time. I didn't go back to the store and look for him - because I had succumbed to "Wilbur-force" once already.
So we're now four months into 2007, and I have matched the total number of Columbus area beggars I encountered in all of 2006. I have done this without walking anywhere near the Second Avenue Bridge. So what will happen, now that the "tent city" there is practically gone? Can we start a collection drive to buy more homeless people bus tickets - maybe to Panama City or Montgomery?
E-MAIL UPDATE: Never mind that, because someone else has a cause on their mind....
Please forward and get more signatures.
Re: [AboutColumbusGA] Petition To Save Green Space-SPLOST LAND
The Misuse of SPLOST LAND=no new SPLOSTs, Will create: racial divide, lawsuits, distrust of public officials. If governance creates profit centers with the people's land for public officials' development companies, charges will be filed. The MCSB attorney is the attorney for the Library Board=conflict of interest. Bar/Ethics charges should be filed. The Library Board is unaccountable- will not answer emails,speak on phone. Can they be trusted with money? They are, elitists who planned to secretly spend $250,000 on a sculpture, in illegal unannounced meetings. ALICE BUDGE, wife of former newspaper publisher, keeps the L-E quite silent oft times, Meredith Jarrell and Bobsie Swift-the entire Library Board needs to be disbanded. Only electeds need to have control of the money. The people voted for a park. Ethics charges, complaints, law suits, should be filed by one and all if the SPLOST LAND does not become a park. Rothschild said in his resignation: THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE SPLOST FOR (COMMERCIAL, RESIDENTIAL DEVELOPMENT)- HOUSES.
To: Columbus Council, Muscogee County School Board, Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System Board
We, the Undersigned, believe that the property around the Columbus Public Library, consisting of some 23 acres (hereinafter the "SPLOST Property") should be preserved for public use as a park/greenspace.
We, the Undersigned, respectfully request that the Columbus Council, Muscogee County School Board and Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System Board take all necessary action to preserve sufficient SPLOST funds to allow the SPLOST Property to be developed as a park/greenspace.
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
This is the promised campaign to have the local Muscogee County Library Board abolished -- but I'm not sure the "conflict of interest" complaint would be validated in court. Albany used to have a Mayor who doubled as the City Attorney, and no one tried to impeach him over that.
We'll see how far this goes -- and now let's go over some other news headlines from a steamy Monday:
+ Our best wishes to former Northern Little League pitcher Kyle Carter. We understand he needed another urgent operation on his head Saturday, but he's now doing well. Don't you wish more people could be improved with head surgery - like some of the NASCAR fans at Talladega?
+ Muscogee County school bus drivers began a week of evaluation in various skills. One test checks how well drivers can parallel-park a school bus. If you wonder why this is necessary, drive by the Space Science Center some weekday when there's a school-wide field trip.
(Another test evaluates how well Muscogee County school bus drivers can use mirrors. So which woman had the most perfect lipstick?)
+ WRBL went to Richland, to check reports of asbestos in the water supply. One man was shown checking the water in his below-ground swimming pool - which may have stunned everyone else in Stewart County, who thought no one there could afford such a thing.
+ Instant Message to Rachael Ray: It was nice of you to provide a prom for the Enterprise High School students, which you showed on TV Monday. But who came up with that theme -- "Lost in a Moment?" Isn't that what happened on March 1, which led to all this?
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