21 NOV 06: THE NEUTRAL ZONE

I'm not normally one to engage in bathroom humor. I might tell jokes at church, in an office, while standing in line at a checkout - but not normally in the bathroom....

But today I'm stooping to "bathroom humor," after hearing Monday about two new public restrooms planned at the University of Georgia. The restrooms will be designated as "gender-neutral." Some will consider this a big deal - but wait a second. Are the bathrooms where YOU live marked as male and female?

The reason why some people will consider this a big deal is because the University of Georgia's office for "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender" students asked for gender-neutral restrooms in their building. This puts a whole new meaning on an old Fleetwood Mac song - "Go Your Own Way."

Apparently the University of Georgia already had a few restrooms considered "unisex." I think that means if you lock the door behind you, it doesn't really matter....

But these two new restrooms in Athens's Memorial Hall actually will be marked with images of both men and women. How many dating college couples will pass this, and be disappointed to find there's no couch or bed inside?

An assistant dean at the University of Georgia says the two new restrooms are set aside to make transgender students are not harassed or abused. Well, what do you know -- an admission that some students can have hetero-phobia.

Supporters of the new "gender-neutral" restrooms say they'll have other advantages. For one thing, mothers will be able to take little boys inside. When I was young, my mom took me to the women's room at a doctor's office several times. She even let me go once or twice by myself - and I'm not sure if anyone ever talked with her about it.

Some people even argue women can use the "gender-neutral" restrooms when lines are long to use the "ladies' rooms." They'd better hope men rushing between classes don't race them to the door handle....

So could Columbus use this sort of "gender-neutral" restroom? To be honest several places have it already. A few coin laundries have a single restroom in the back - but they don't even have flowery paper towels, to tip you off about which gender is preferred.

Several gas stations and convenience stores have had a similar set-up for years, with only one bathroom for customers. But you KNOW those are for men - by (ahem) what the vending machines on the walls are offering....

But if I come across a real "gender-neutral" restroom with images of both men and women, I'll probably stay away. After all, I have a 50-50 chance of walking into something very wrong - well, maybe worse odds than that.

BLOG UPDATE: The old numbers game was in full force Monday, after the two big weekend events. Columbus Police told WRBL only about 15,000 people attended the S.O.A. Watch protest - not the 22,000 claimed by the organizers. That'll teach those marchers to count giant puppets.

Meanwhile, God Bless Fort Benning declared it had a "record turnout" Saturday - with WRBL reporting 18,000 to 20,000 "soldiers and families." But we noted from the event's own web site Monday that last year's attendance last year was 25,000 to 30,000 people. If you change how you count, I suppose anything can be a record - so maybe next year, pets will be counted as well.

The arrested S.O.A. Watch protesters apparently were sent to the Harris County Jail this year, not the Muscogee County Jail downtown. Why were they moved a full county away - so they could explain Latin American human rights abuses to Internet sex predators?

One arrested protester from West Virginia apparently refused to post bond, and was being transferred to the Muscogee County Jail Monday. Well, that WILL save a little money on Thanksgiving dinner....

Now let's count down the last few items from Monday:

+ WRBL reported the Phenix City Council reviewed sketches for "The Phenixian" development along the river. The plans include ten-story condominiums - buildings which sound almost as tall as the Columbus Government Center. So Carolyn Hugley had better act professionally, when she visits the City Manager's office....

+ West Point city officials ruled the drinking water is safe again. But they're still not sure what caused foam on the water at a treatment plant last Friday. You don't think some Auburn University students drove the wrong way, heading for the Iron Bowl....?!

+ The Columbus State men's basketball team beat Virginia State 83-73, to give Coach Doug Branson his first win. In a post-game interview on WDAK radio, Branson urged Columbus fans to "get off the couch" and see the Cougars this coming weekend. They'll be off the couch, coach - and busy down the hill, shopping at the mall.

SONG OF THE DAY: Today's song is an oldie from 1995, and is inspired by the sudden cancellation of the O.J. Simpson book and TV special. During his mostly-live murder trial on CNN, we put new words on the Bugs Bunny Show theme, "On With the Show, This Is It:"

Bloody glove - D.N.A.

The white Ford Bronco, that drove away.

Nicole and O.J., they once had a fight -

But what happened that June night?

Ronald Goldman, her good friend,

Stabbed over and over again.

To prison he could goooo....

This is O.J. Simpson's show!

(P.S. Instant Message to WXTX Fox-54: IF you had aired it, I probably wouldn't have watched....)

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