15 NOV 06: BETTER EARLY THAN LATE

"Are you one of the callers to TalkLine?" a woman asked me outside a meeting room Tuesday. No, I'm not. She didn't ask if I was once one of the guests - or perhaps one of the frequently quoted sources....

The question came from an Archway Broadcasting employee, before a sales presentation Tuesday. Several days ago, a telemarketer in North Carolina called to invite me to a special "open house" for small business owners. Trouble is, the caller quoted the name of a business I gave up four years ago.

But just for fun (and a blog topic), I gave the caller the name of this blog and reserved a seat at one of the sales presentations. What would Archway executives tell me about radio in Columbus? Would they tell the truth? And most importantly for a single guy like me - how close would I come to a free lunch?

The sales presentation was NOT held at the Archway Broadcasting offices on 13^th Avenue. Instead, a room was reserved at the Hilton Garden Inn near the J.R. Allen Parkway. The hotel staff must not like the fact that its "Garden Inn" entrance sign is next to one for an allergy clinic.... [True!]

The Archway staff members told me the turnout was strong for morning presentations - but for this early afternoon time, I turned out to be the only customer in the room. Yet I was promised NO high-pressure sales tactics. There wouldn't even be a commitment for a timeshare condominium.

The Hilton Garden Inn meeting room had nice pastries for the visitors, apparently left over from the morning sessions. During my session, they were replaced with brownie triangles and cookies. No, that does NOT qualify as a free lunch for me. Add some rolled-up turkey slices on a toothpick, and we could argue about it....

After waiting about 15 minutes past the scheduled starting time for someone besides me to show up, the Archway sales manager came in. He offered me the option of watching the 20-minute presentation or reviewing a one-page summary. Of course, I wanted the full show. Would you drive all the way across town, simply to see a movie trailer?

The Archway Broadcasting people didn't have me sign a waiver or declare anything "off the record," so I'm assuming everything they said is OK for public consumption. For instance, the staff member who mentioned she used to drop Jolly Rancher candies in Zima drinks for added flavor....

But I digress: The "Business Rewards Open House" began by comparing local media outlets. Did you know the circulation of the Ledger-Enquirer is now below 35,000? It's lost about 37 percent of its readership in the last 15 years. So it's no wonder it dropped a weekly pro wrestling column, for one about poker.

The Archway Broadcasting presenter went on to say if you want to buy a full-page ad in this Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer, it will cost around $7,000. A quarter-page ad will cost about $2,500. Yeah, but a 50-cent horoscope remains a lot less expensive than a psychic reading.

(And if you want to advertise to people younger than 26, forget about the Ledger-Enquirer. I was told teens and young adults NEVER read newspapers -- so it may be time for "Yak" on the children's page to head out to pasture.)

What about television? I was told a 30-second commercial during "CSI: Miami" on WRBL will cost me $2,300. So?! I can probably buy time during their 5:00 p.m. newscast for a whole lot less than that....

But the goal of the presentation was to persuade me to advertise on radio, with Archway Broadcasting. I was told the four Archway stations reach 75,400 listeners a week -- enough people to fill Atlanta's Turner Field twice. Trouble was, with my business they'd all need to carry laptops with wi-fi cards into the ballpark.

My commercial on Archway Broadcasting would reach a large number of "prosumers." That's a new media buzz word, describing "proactive consumers." If more and more of them supposedly are becoming proactive, how is this country growing more and more obese?

So here was the big discount deal of the day: I could have 120 commercials on the four Archway radio stations in the first week of every month, for only $750 a month. I was offered the first week of the month because car dealers tend to buy ads at the end of the month - so they save their best offers for the close, even then.

If I took Archway Broadcasting up on this offer, some amazing extras were thrown in - such as a five-day trip to Nashville, an evening at the Hilton Garden Inn and dozens of free on-air "Christmas greeting" messages. As someone who doesn't keep Christmas, my messages would be a sure-fire way to start a Baptist boycott.

Deal (dramatic pause goes here) or no deal? I told the Archway salespeople I wasn't ready to buy ad time, and they understood. There was no attempt to sweeten the offer, by offering me lunch with Robbie Watson.

With the presentation over, I had a few questions of my own for the Archway people - such as the impact of satellite radio on their business. The presenter took an educated guess, and presumed only one-tenth of one percent of Columbus residents have it. So he doesn't seem to take it too Sirius-ly....

The Archway people also told me it could take another "six months to a year" before the signal adjustments are finally finished and approved for WRCG. So the adjustments stemming from the death of Chuck McClure could affect that station for more than two years in all. I thought he was big government complications.

As I picked up a brownie and cookie before leaving, I took off my poker face. I told the Archway people I had appeared on WRCG's "TalkLine" a few months ago [14 Aug]. If they had not heard about this blog when I was on the air then -- and on free of charge, for close to a half-hour -- how effective would my 30-second ad really be?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Your blogger was busted big-time Tuesday -- and yes, we had it coming:

I remembered you referring to me as the "local curse of the Bambino" for always being on the losing side. My streak continues since I was intimately involved in Poydasheff's campaign.

Also, I looked back at your January 1st, 2006, entry and saw that you thought Sonny Perdue was the politician least likely to be re-elected and Bob Poydasheff the most likely. Care to revise that?

Colin Martin

Nope, Colin, the damage is done. I won't revise it -- but I'll be glad to share your curse for a few weeks.

Colin's referring back to the first awards show of the year, our annual "Burkard Awards." Sure enough, that's how we figured the way this election year would go. Little did I realize the rally for Columbus public safety officers would grow so large - and the critics of how Georgia's Governor handled the state flag would be so suppressed by the Republican Party.

(And not only that, little did I know some blog readers would have such long and painful memories of what I've written....)

Another new e-mail brings up an old issue here - and we've duplicated it as best we can, for the full effect:

Please tell my mind is not flashing back to the 60's. The color changing every four or five seconds on the blog page is causing me
trouble. Can you help to stop this?

Thank you

dirtroadrider

First of all, I'm surprised the "signature" on this message is in purple. I thought the country song was called "Red Dirt Road."

The only way I could stop the color changes would be to change the format of this blog - and long-time readers know how controversial that's been. We've had two poll questions here about it, and the last one ended in a tie [26 Jun]. Should we have a third vote on this issue five months later -- before we've even rotated a new mayor into office?

If you want to get around the color changes, my best advice would be to copy the text of our entries and paste it onto a Microsoft Word or Wordpad page. Maybe then you can read it with a one-color bag of M&M's.

Our last message today is truly on a grave subject:

I went to Riverdale Cemetery on a search of some dates of ancestors...I was very happy to find the grounds well cared for and litter gone...I e-mailed the city gov't person who is the supervisor and got a nice e-mail back from him.. I encourage anyone with ancestors buried in Riverdale to check on the condition of the markers. There are many in need of repair , which the city does not do . The city cemeteries are so valuable to family and city history.

Is it legal for descendants of the dead do their own repairs to markers? If skateboarders can use their own small bag of concrete for a project under the Oglethorpe Bridge, it could be possible....

A big repair job tops our look at other Tuesday news:

+ Parts of Columbus lost running water for hours, after construction workers at the airport broke a 30-inch main. Do you think outgoing mayor Bob Poydasheff ordered that digging - hoping to find oil, to cover all that uncollected money?

(After looking at the gushing water main break on WXTX "News at Ten," part of me hoped city crews would NOT repair the damage. That was the most impressive new fountain the "Fountain City" has seen in years.)

+ Broadway resident Jim Thorsen told WRBL he's concerned about the Bradley Theatre being turned into a "1,600-person nightclub" on weekends. Is that all?! A card I picked up for a Fountain City Classic party "guaranteed over 5,000 in attendance" there. Did the organizers expect three waves of arrests?

+ Georgia lost to Western Kentucky in men's college basketball 70-67. Georgia led from the start until the last 20 seconds of the game - showing why sportscasters know better than to rely on "early returns."

+ Instant Message to the Publix on Bradley Park Drive: What was HE doing there?! I mean, that ho-ho-hoing guy with a red suit at Tuesday night's "Holiday Fest." Doesn't Thanksgiving come first? Or was the Rivertown Ford dancing turkey booked somewhere else?

(Well, then again, maybe the bird was supposed to show up later. The food samples were filled with shrimp, swine and sushi - not turkey, for some reason.)

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