25 OCT 06: SLICK VS. HICK

Since an e-mailer invited me (and by extension you) to attend the political forum at the Liberty Theatre Tuesday night, I rearranged my schedule to go. After all, anything could happen at one of these events. A few years ago, a Chambers County candidate accused his opponent of being a wife-killer. Before you laugh - that opponent now is behind bars on murder charges.

All sorts of possible topics were on my mind, as I drove to the Liberty Theatre on Eighth Avenue. But the first big one jumped out at me ON Eighth Avenue. In fact, it WAS Eighth Avenue - where the street is caving in so badly, I don't think the Carver High School football team should stand on it.

But believe it or not, public works issues never came during the forum with mayoral candidates. And neither did the big campaign issue of the last 48 hours. No one showed up wearing anything close to an "exotic dancer" outfit.

Tuesday night could have been Jim Wetherington's moment to publicly answer the fuss about that campaign donation from the owner of the Foxy Lady Lounge. But he didn't - because Wetherington was a no-show. A campaign co-chair told the audience he'd already scheduled an event with the Better Business Bureau. It makes you wonder how many nightclubs are dues-paying members....

Yet the mayoral forum provided an opportunity for Bert Coker to comment. The write-in candidate told your blog as long as a business making a donation has a license, he sees no problem. But Coker declined to speculate on the "moral" aspect of the Foxy Lady Lounge donation -- whether Jim Wetherington knew about it or not. A former police chief would know better than to leave fingerprints on that check.

Bert Coker told me he's actually received some donations to his write-in campaign - but admitted they amount to around "300, 400 dollars." When the grand total isn't even ONE grand, that's a small-time campaign.

I hadn't talked to Bert Coker since the day he called WRCG radio's "TalkLine" when I was a guest [14 Aug]. And Tuesday night was my first opportunity to see him campaign before an audience - well, before an audience which actually could see his face.

With Jim Wetherington represented by a campaign co-chairman, the Liberty Theatre forum had a Bert Coker vs. Bob Poydasheff focus. The contrast could not be greater. The incumbent wore a suit and tie, and sounded professional and polished. The write-in walked in with a cowboy hat, his shirt not tucked in - and a speaking style which made H. Ross Perot sound like a politician.

People in the audience giggled several times at the way Bert Coker presented his points. And from what I could tell, he was NOT trying to be funny. Hmmmm - come to think of it, maybe I should have invited him to write for this blog while I was on vacation....

With his cowboy hat on the table in front of him, Bert Coker addressed the big issues in the Columbus Mayor's race:

+ The city's partnership with the Columbus Chamber of Commerce "doesn't bring any jobs." So how did Road America's call center wind up here? Did a Waggoners truck carrying executives break down on Victory Drive?

+ The city's tight budget situation can be solved by collecting all revenue - and Columbus "does not need any more SPLOST's." That's good news, since I get tired of explaining to newcomers what that abbreviation means.

+ The barriers to "One Columbus" are mostly inside people's heads. "There's no dividing line.... it's only there because you put it there." Based on the forum's attendance, many white people drew a line around the Liberty District.

+ He admitted the impact of BRAC on Columbus and Fort Benning will be huge - but he struggled for several seconds to remember what the letters in BRAC mean.

+ The way to reduce the number of teenage mothers is to take girls, "teach them how to be pregnant, and then teach them to NOT be pregnant until they are married." After the first part of that quote, I thought Richard Hyatt of the Ledger-Enquirer sitting near me was going to keel over on the floor.

Bert Coker actually admitted in response to a question on teenage motherhood, "I have it in my family." Now this is full disclosure - and in person, not through a prepared statement released after TV station phone calls.

Bert Coker used most of his one-minute closing statement at the Liberty Theatre to explain how to cast a write-in vote for himself. And yes, he spelled out his first name so no one would get it wrong. But from the way the audience reacted, I think they're more likely to write in "Diet."

Bert Coker told me the powers in Columbus are scared of him becoming mayor. But while he presents himself as the candidate of change, he also presents himself as someone SO outside the mainstream that - well, have you seen that recent movie where Robin Williams becomes the President?

(By the way, I did NOT ask Bert Coker about how he somehow obtained a ticket to last week's invitation-only televised debate at the RiverCenter. I've been a journalist long enough to know you don't get nosy about someone's sources.)

Bob Poydasheff could have had a political field day, following Bert Coker's comments. But he again chose to avoid anything which might be considered a personal attack. He began by telling the forum he did "not need a prepared statement." Of course not -- after giving the statement dozens of times in recent weeks, he's memorized it.

But at times, the incumbent seemed almost too much in command of his subjects for his audience. Bob Poydasheff told the forum about "OSD plans" for growth at Fort Benning. I think he meant the Office of the Secretary of Defense - but people who don't follow the news closely might think he was discussing the Ohio State defense.

Bob Poydasheff used another acronym during the forum, saying we don't need to elect "a novice" as mayor who needs "OJT." He explained that one: "on the job training" - as opposed to some mixed drink containing orange juice.

Isaiah and Carolyn Hugley were together at the Liberty Theatre forum, and Mayor Poydasheff declared the City Manager is doing "a magnificent job." In fact, I saw the two officials chatting a bit before the forum started. So when is the news conference, announcing the endorsement?

The Columbus Urban League office put on the political forum, in conjunction with the "Tri-City Young Professionals." But the moderators admitted they were nervous, and showed it at times. For instance, you don't ask someone to open an event with the benediction....

On the other hand, school board candidate Linda Parker should have been thinking before she stood up to speak at the forum. She openly said into the microphone, "Let me take gum out." At least a teacher wasn't there, scolding Parker for it.

But the biggest faux pas of the forum may have been that of Linda Parker's school board opponent. Naomi Buckner somehow thought the event began at 7:00 p.m., not 6:00 p.m. - and she showed up a half-hour late, only after her stand-in sister phoned from the Liberty Theatre. Amazingly, the organizers did not make Buckner stay for an hour after the forum ended.

We'll review what the school board candidates said in another post, before Election Day. But now that your campaign cup is overflowing, let's check other things which made news Tuesday:

+ Columbus Council heard details of a plan to revitalize the Baker Village neighborhood. It would cost the city $3.5 million - which I think is more than the combined annual income of the current residents.

+ Columbus Council also heard a presentation from the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. From what little I saw on TV, it appeared to include a quiz on how someone is defined as mentally ill. If you change your Mega Millions lottery numbers every week, that's a clue....

+ A U.S. Senate committee held a hearing at the RiverCenter on Chattahoochee River water usage. Senator Saxby Chambliss praised Columbus for only using two-thirds of its daily water allotment. That's the last thing the sellers of Callaway Blue water wanted to hear.

+ The organizers of "God Bless Fort Benning" announced this year's event on November 18 will have events on six different stages. Take that, all of you who doubt BRAC is making Columbus grow....

(So do you think one of the six stages at "God Bless Fort Benning" will be set aside for the S.O.A. Watch demonstrators? You know, to make things fair and balanced?)

+ The Northern Little League All-Stars were honored again for winning the world title, this time at AFLAC headquarters. It's a wonder the insurance company hasn't bought the team a tour bus, and sponsored every trip they make....

(The Northern All-Stars presented AFLAC executive Dan Amos with an autographed team ball. So what did he do to deserve this? I didn't see a single "AFLAC Trivia Question" on TV during the Little League World Series.)

+ Instant Message to WRBL: What do you mean, candidates in your special election programming are barred from bashing their opponents? I thought you were the station of "freespeech," on the CBS Evening News -- but you're making candidates spend money on attack ads.

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