22 OCT 06: BIG MESSY

Before we get to our topic, an apology is in order. Our Friday "Coming Soon" item was what we thought would be a blog exclusive - the story of a Troup County woman who endured last Sunday's Hawaiian earthquake. But it turns out the woman took an overnight flight from Honolulu to the mainland Saturday night, and learned about the quake at home watching CNN. Her sense of vision and timing must be better than mine....

Timing truly can be everything. I found that out Saturday night, along the Riverwalk. My thanks to whomever left a plastic McDonald's Monopoly cup along the Riverwalk, down the hill from Memorial Stadium. Not only did I run 3.25 miles non-stop - you paid me off for it, with free medium fries.

Somehow that big plastic cup was missed during Saturday's cleanup of the Chattahoochee River. It was "Help the Hooch" Day, with dozens of volunteers
picking up trash in and along the river. How nice of them to give the prison inmates a day off....

Would you believe last year, the Help the Hooch weekend collected 145,000 pounds of trash? Why, this weight almost matches that of the population in Pittsview - but you'd have to determine how many of those people are trashy.

Trash collectors say they found all sorts of strange things in the Chattahoochee River this year:

+ The inside of a washing machine. Look hard enough, and someone might have found a matching gerbil.

+ A printer. Throwing it in the river is NO way to reactivate the dried-out ink in your cartridges.

+ Several computers. You wondered what police did with the machines seized from child pornography suspects....

The people involved in "Help the Hooch" later went to Golden Park for lunch. From what I could tell, no one volunteered to clean up THAT place -- because the temporary fence is still up in center field.

Down the parking lot, the Columbus Civic Center also was involved in improving the environment. It was "Hazardous Household Waste Day," with people dropping off all sorts of dangerous chemicals. So how many quitters left cigarettes and cigars?

It only occurs to me as I write this that Help the Hooch weekend occurs exactly six months before Earth Day. I'm not sure why the two events aren't put together. Maybe Riverfest has needed all the giant trash cans in recent years.

Speaking of the water, did you see the fish a child caught in Columbus Saturday? Brandon Fortson says he reeled in a brim weighing eight pounds, three ounces! That's a brim full, and running over....

Brandon Fortson and his dad think they've set a world record, for the biggest brim. That's in terms of weight, of course. I've seen romantic Mexican singers with VERY big brims, on their sombreros.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message is testy, in a couple of ways....

MCSD just wasted $16 per test for the PSAT to be administered to every freshman in the district..I was there on the day it was given in one local high school..9th graders are much to young and have not been exposed to the material covered by the test..They were marking patterns on the bubble sheet, because they had never had the subjects tested..Who had this bright idea?...multiply every 9th grader by $16 comes to over $300,000..The cost is probably more than the number of freshmen I guessed for MCSD...

I believe I was a high school junior when I took the PSAT exam years ago - and it was voluntary. So maybe Muscogee County Schools gave it early, to sort out the geniuses from the potential art majors.

But at post time, I checked the Georgia Department of Education web site -- and it actually encourages ninth-graders to take the PSAT "for practice." So, Mr. or Ms. Complainer, the state officials probably would say "psat on you."

Put down your pencils now, for a quick review of news from the last couple of days:

+ Columbus candidates gathered for another "forum," this time at Greater Peace Baptist Church. The Pastor refused to declare which candidate for mayor would best live up to the church's name.

+ The reward increased to $6,000, in the search for whomever cut the brake line on Alabama House candidate Cindy Irvin's SUV. Opponent Lesley Vance even is offering a reward - since it doesn't matter if his funeral home sees Irvin's family sooner or later.

+ A Russell County convenience store was robbed, and Sheriff's Lieutenant Heath Taylor told WRBL: "The suspect did not draw his weapon; he brandished the weapon." After checking a dictionary, I'm not really sure of the difference. Did the suspect simply walk in waving a gun -- like he was desperate to sell it at a pawn shop?

+ Ground finally was broken for the Kia factory in West Point. The sign on stage at the ceremony had the Kia slogan: "The power to surprise." I guess this is how they're explaining the arrests of executives in South Korea, on corruption charges.

(One of the people who sold land for the Kia factory told a reporter, "It's always good to be part of history." May that man never say that to a survivor of a Nazi death camp....)

+ The Northern Little League All-Stars visited the pediatrics section of Columbus Regional, in an act of "community service." Huh?! I hope these baseball players aren't already acting like major leaguers, and getting arrested.

(I was about to ask if it was time to take down the congratulation signs for the Northern All-Stars. It's been nearly two months since they won the Little League World Series. But with Saturday's appearance and more on the way, those signs might not come down until the new season starts in April.)

+ Atlanta pitcher Chuck James returned to Chattahoochee Valley Community College. James revealed to WRBL he's still working in an off-season job, installing windows and doors in the Atlanta area. You'd think a pitcher would be moving the fences back at Turner Field....

+ Carver handled Harris County 35-13 in high school football, to advance to 7-0 on the season. When the Carver Tigers have a better record than the Auburn University Tigers AND Auburn has only one loss, it may be time for a Georgia High School Association investigation.

+ Instant Message to Piggly Wiggly: Aw c'mon - "SANTA-palooza?!" In mid-October?!?! The pumpkin crop this year must be even worse than I've heard it is....

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