23 OCT 06: I'M WITHOUT THE BAND

With apologies to Tim Chitwood, it's a day for e-mailers to take our spotlight - beginning with one we've been meaning to address for a few days:

Hey..Glad you are back..did you get rejuvenated,reactivated and repatriated?

Why yes, in fact I.... hey, wait a minute! Repatriated?! I never once drove within 40 miles of Florida.

Jekyll Island is a very relaxing place, in part because there isn't much to do there. You can rent bicycles for only five dollars an hour, to ride on the island's extensive bike paths - and then you wonder why the professional-looking cyclists with helmets and tight-fitting uniforms are on the street, not using it.

Jekyll Island is about a 20-minute drive from St. Simons Island, and I joined a tour group which went there. We saw all kinds of historic places, stopping at the lighthouse near the Atlantic Ocean and Fort Frederica from the Revolutionary War. But the tour bus only drove by the expensive "starter home" of golfer Davis Love III.

(For you longtime blog readers - no, I did NOT ask around at St. Simons Island, to find the place where AFLAC's Dan Amos was married last year. I was on vacation, after all....)

The main reason for my trip to Jekyll Island was to attend a church convention. We heard ten sermons over an eight-day and eight-night span. You knew one minister was looking for something different, when he went through the Yellow Pages - and said the coming Kingdom of God will have no insurance agents. [True!]

The music coordinator at the convention selected me to sing several weeks in advance, at one of the services. So I worked on a song from my CD, and followed the sound crew's guidance by submitting my accompaniment track a day ahead of time. That way, the track could be tested for any problems - and I'd be forced to practice in my motel room in advance.

Then came performance day. I arrived 90 minutes before the service, as the sound crew requested - only to find the accompaniment track had disappeared. A hunt all around the edge of the sound tables found no sign of it. Did someone see it, consider my song doctrinally wrong and take it away to be burned?

"I'm never going to do sound work again," the man in charge of the sound table told me. He was frustrated by a variety of little glitches at this conference - such as the children's choir music earlier in the week. At least the children started singing the first song, when it was played by mistake a second time.

It turned out he was more concerned about the situation than I was. "I can sing without accompaniment," I told him. I've done this at worship services a few times - which is cost-efficient, when the main pianist in the congregation lives about 45 minutes away.

I went to the microphone on the platform and sang my song "a capella," as they say in the music business. I refuse to stoop to the cliched joke, and call it Acapulco....

There weren't many people in the hall for this sound check - but a woman who was there came up to the edge of the stage and told me I should sing it that way, with no accompaniment at all. "You were awesome," she told me. I was too occupied with the music to consider her a groupie.

Having passed the sound test, I walked across the street from the Jekyll Island convention center. The island's one official strip mall has an IGA grocery store, a modest seafood restaurant - and my stop, a Flash Foods convenience store. At about 9:00 a.m., I wanted milk to drink. A soda would NOT have settled down my stomach - and it probably would have made me burp during the song.

(I say "official" strip mall because the state of Georgia owns Jekyll Island, and leases all the land. Come to think of it, I don't recall seeing any campaign signs on the island anywhere....)

With milk in hand, I walked back to my car - and someone suddenly approached me with my accompaniment track. A member of the sound team apparently tucked it away in a briefcase, and put it under a Bible. This sort of gave the phrase "hidden manna" a whole new meaning.

Armed with my CD track, I went back inside the convention center and went to the sound table. We practiced the song with the background track, and all went well. The only thing left was the service itself -- and the center's green room was empty, so all the musicians would have to be humble and rough it.

When the big moment came, I was introduced to sing "special music." I walked out from backstage to the microphone -- and the sound team began playing the wrong background track. I was using cut 13, on a CD with about 25 tracks. They started at cut 1. No, I was not prepared to give a full concert.

I simply shook my head no to the sound team, and some worshipers giggled. Another wrong cut played. I shook my head no again. Some people told ne later I was making faces -- but I actually was trying to keep smiling, and not say a word. Some people at my home congregation say I comment too much as a worship leader, anyway. And they don't even know I blog....

At last cut 13 began to play, and I nodded yes. But then the music stopped. I learned later there was confusion over remote controls for the CD player -- whether to press a "play" button, or an "enter" button. This is why I always learn how to personally touch electronic devices.

After about 30 seconds of waiting, I finally spoke. "Shall we go to Plan B?" The audience giggled again, hardly anyone knowing what would happen next. "Let's go to Plan B," I said quietly - then sang the song a capella, just as I'd done earlier in the morning. The first mistake of the day had worked to my advantage. But this does NOT mean you should forget to set your alarm clock.

The brochure for the church convention had strict rules of etiquette for the congregation, including NO applause for music. Yet when I finished, the audience at Jekyll Island applauded me anyway. They probably could not believe what I had done - singing the song, BEFORE walking off the stage. Hey, I was just following Kiri Te Kanawa's example....

"I'm glad he went to Plan B," the minister who gave the sermon said later - and everyone who came up to me afterward agreed. Some said it was God's will all along that I sing without an accompaniment. Perhaps God's will also was behind the hymn from the congregation which followed my song -- "Forgive and You Shall Be Forgiven." [True!]

E-MAIL UPDATE: We also have a follow-up to Sunday's message about PSAT exams in Muscogee County schools. The person who sent us that e-mail did some digging, and contacted us twice on Sunday:

DId the state dept of ed.help pay for the 9th graders to take the test?..don't think so...How can a test be valid when the material in question has not been offered? The state dept.treats the individual districts like they are wealthy...The person from the state that suggested that every 9th grader take the PSAT should have their head examinated or their pocket book...Wonder how many text books this money would buy....

I just checked the state of GA.dept of ed.site...The state pays for the PSAT..so multipy $16 by every 9th grader in the state...wow..a fortune... THe site also suggests that the test be given to 9th or 10th graders...So,why did MCSD pick the 9th grade when the test would not actually be valid as they have not had the material? What does taking the test on the 9th grade level prove?...When the state site says it will pay for the PSAT I wonder at what grade level and how many times for the same student in their high school career?

It's tempting to think the early PSAT work is due to the pressure of "No Child Left Behind" standards. But Georgia's students face exams well before ninth grade. Who knows, someday we may have a Pre-K-SAT.

At least we now know Muscogee County Schools apparently aren't paying for the PSAT exams. But remember, someone has to pay for all those pep rallies and pizza parties to get students psyched up for the tests....

At 15 days until Election Day, we also have this campaign note:

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 at 6:00 pm.at the Liberty Theater, The Tri-City Young Professionals in Conjuction with The Urban League of Greater Columbus Inc. will host an open forum that will allow the community to ask questions of the Mayorial, City Council and School Board candidates.

I hope that you can make it.

I can't guarantee I'll be able to attend - but at least I'm invited, and I assume the public is as well. At least one debate in this campaign has been an "invitation and ticket only" affair. So I could understand a bit how Bert Coker felt.

Now let's check some news items from a spectacular Sunday:

+ The Columbus Museum opened a new exhibit, showing how wedding dresses have changed over the last century. People in Beverly Hills may have to wait a few years for a display like this -- presuming it's in Elizabeth Taylor's will.

+ A 50-mile, three-day walk against women's cancer ended at Atlanta's Piedmont Park. Once again, Columbus is left looking minor league - because we do well to have one 24-hour health walk a year, on a running track.

+ The new indoor football Columbus Lions held open tryouts at McClung Memorial Stadium. Now let me get this straight - the indoor football team had tryouts at an outdoor stadium, while the "outdoor football" Atlanta Falcons played inside in a domed stadium. And you wonder why people in other countries can't understand America....

+ Inside that domed stadium, Atlanta won a wild overtime game over Pittsburgh 41-38. The Falcons had the winning team, but the Steelers had the smarter coach. Calling a last-second timeout before a 56-yard field goal kick: genius. Changing kickers to someone who can't reach the goal post from 51 yards: not quite genius.

+ The new Bowl Championship Series rankings found West Virginia moving above Auburn, into fourth place. OK, West Virginia is unbeaten while Auburn is not. But how much was Auburn supposed to score against Tulane, 60 points?

+ Instant message to Jim Bowen of Premier Realtors: I saw your picture in the coupon mailing - but c'mon now. Do you REALLY expect me to think you're trying to sell the Government Center behind you?

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