19 OCT 06: EARLY TO BEG

If you think all panhandlers in Columbus sleep in, think again. Some of them are up with the sunrise. But then again, perhaps it's because benches near the Riverwalk aren't really that comfortable....

BLOGGER BEGGAR #8: Our first stop as we left on vacation two weeks ago was for breakfast, at a McDonald's on Victory Drive. We bought it at about 8:00 on a Friday morning -- but we were stopped as I adjusted to put the food in my car. You try to avoid burning gasoline in a drive-through lane, and you still can pay for it.

"Can I have 30 cents for a sausage biscuit?" said a man on the sidewalk wearing a bright red "Georgia XXL" T-shirt. He apparently had the rest of the money. But if I gave him 30 cents and walked on, he might suddenly need a dollar from the next person in line for hash browns.

Since it was the start of vacation and I had extra money saved to attend a church convention, I tied to do the Christian-like thing. I offered to go inside and buy him the sausage biscuit -- even though my denomination doesn't eat pork. After all, the Bible says true believers won't be hurt if they DRINK deadly things....

The beggar and I walked into McDonald's, even though I still hadn't put MY breakfast in the car. I held orange juice in one hand and a bag with food in the other, as I tried to help him out. Perhaps the staff would see how absurd I looked, and call police on this guy.

It was a busy morning at this McDonald's, so Mr. Georgia XXL and I had to wait in line. But as we did, something strange happened. A man came up to Georgia XXL and gave him some money without the beggar even asking for it. So this restaurant must have "regulars," -- of both kinds.

"Now I have bus fare to get back to the Salvation Army," Mr. Georgia XXL told me. Only much later did I realize he also had the money to buy his own sausage biscuit.

So Mr. Georgia XXL apparently was up before sunrise at the Salvation Army shelter on Second Avenue - and somehow traveled all the way to South Lumpkin Road and Victory Drive to beg for breakfast?! These shelters need to apply for federal school breakfast funds, then teach a "Bible as Literature" class to residents.

"Is something wrong?" a woman behind the McDonald's counter asked when she saw my hands full -- the woman who had served me breakfast only minutes before.

"No. This man needed 30 cents for a sausage biscuit," I answered -- a man who had separated himself from the line a bit. Very few people want to stand too close to a crazy man, you know.

"I've got a job starting tomorrow," Mr. Georgia XXL told me as we waited. He claimed he'd just been hired by a truck repair shop of some sort.

"You're starting on a Saturday?" I was skeptical of this -- because I figured even Chick-fil-A would make employees wait to start on a Monday.

Mr. Georgia XXL paused for a moment at my question. Had I caught him in a lie? Or was this beggar so broke that he couldn't afford a calendar, to know what day of the week it was?

"Saturday to Wednesday," he finally answered. This seemed like an odd shift for a truck repair business. After all, it's hard to get a bad car problem fixed in Columbus on a Sunday -- and I know very well a flat tire at a Wal-Mart can become a half-day full-store tour.

The sausage biscuit at McDonald's only cost 99 cents -- and I was in such a giving mood that I paid for it completely. "You won't need to ask for help from anyone else, right?" I asked the beggar. He didn't seem to understand what I was saying.-- which was convenient, because he was back at his spot on the sidewalk a couple of minutes later.

Yes, I ate breakfast in the car - and noticed in my rear-view mirrors that after Mr. Georgia XXL walked away with his sausage biscuit for a few minutes, he went back to the sidewalk. And this time, he seemed to be chatting with people waiting at the drive-through lane. He was truly "working the room" - only this room had no walls.

I came upon someone else in need at the other end of the road trip - a man who claimed his car had broken down at a Brunswick motel. I offered to give him a push. He said he had to wait by a pay phone at a Burger King for a call from his wife. After dinner, he claimed his wife was on the way. This time I didn't stick around - since the Burger King staff could help him have it his way.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Today we finally clear the InBox of vacation messages - with an update on a "card game" we've been following:

Remember the credit card thief who was caught on tape taking the card and caught on tape in 2 Wal Marts using the card [4-5 Oct] ..Police have yet to even go to arrest her...A month coming up...

Hmmmm - maybe they're waiting for this woman to go drinking on Broadway on a Friday night.

Now let's check on some news from Wednesday, when the weather had us wondering who rolled the calendar back to Labor Day:

+ The new Road America call center opened on Victory Drive - a place whether hundreds of workers will handle calls from stranded drivers across the country. Is it only a coincidence that this business is opening down the highway from the Kia plant?

+ The federal Homeland Security Department dismissed as "not credible" an online chat room threat to blow up a "dirty bomb" at Sunday's Atlanta Falcons game. Right now, some Falcons fans might not mind -- if it's similar to the "dirty bird."

+ David Marsh resigned as Auburn University's head swimming coach. Marsh won ten national championships, six for the men and four for the women - which makes you wonder if he's leaving because someone threatened to file a Title IX complaint.

+ Instant Message to Georgia Lieutenant Governor candidate Casey Cagle: Do you agree with my theory about why you're doing so well in the polls? Is it because people are confusing you with country singer Chris Cagle?

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: "Jim-Bob," the prime-time television drama....

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