30 DEC 05: NERVOUS BY NORTHWEST

Thursday marked the return of Northwest Airlines planes to Columbus. Trouble was, it was only one plane, it was an emergency landing - and no one even seemed to want to take the Northwest name.

A flight from Jacksonville to Memphis made an emergency landing at the Columbus Airport, after a warning light came on in the cockpit. The light indicated an oil pressure problem. On a Delta Air Lines jet these days, it might indicate another request for a pay cut.

It was a bit confusing exactly whose airplane this was. It was clearly marked Northwest, but was reported as a "Pinnacle Airlines" flight and part of a "Canada Air regional" service. And they say our country doesn't have enough airlines....

Whichever company's plane it is, the pilot wasted no time when he saw the warning light. Passengers said he declared an in-flight emergency, and reduced the engine's power. So it was a bit like what U.S. Senate Democrats want to do next month....

Columbus emergency crews raced into action, when they heard an unscheduled flight was landing with only one engine. The airport management no doubt acted quickly as well - posting a one-hour ticket sale on Travelocity.com, to see if Northwest service can be restored full-time.

Some of the 43 passengers aboard the Northwest jet say they were wondering about the flight even before the emergency was declared. One noticed the plane never went very high -- perhaps not realizing that's the best way to view Providence Canyon.

Some passengers admit the emergency made them scared, but they note the pilots were very professional. Apparently they kept the same monotone radio speaking voice from start to finish....

The emergency landing was a safe one, allowing all 43 passengers to make an unscheduled visit to Columbus. It must have been a surprise to all of them - for instance, to find an airport without a Starbucks, Cinnabon or Burger King.

Some passengers waited several hours, for another Pinnacle jet to arrive and take them to Memphis. Others were put on buses, and driven to Atlanta - letting them have a good taste of what many real Columbus travelers experience every week.

BLOG UPDATE: A check of the Ledger-Enquirer "To Do" section Thursday found NO fireworks shows listed for the Columbus area this weekend. And no, I do NOT know if they'll let you blow some up in the Fireworks Outlet parking lot in Seale.

(Remember, young people - just because Wanda is the "Bang-Bang Lady" does NOT mean you can set off firecrackers under her shoes.)

As you might guess, a variety of Columbus clubs are throwing New Year's parties. An old-style big band dance is planned at the Columbus Trade Center, organized by the "Mr. and Mrs. Club." Simply look for the homosexual protesters marching outside....

Let's be careful out there - but don't go out until we check other Thursday headlines:

+ The Metro Narcotics Task Force raided Columbus Fire Station #9 on Edgewood Road, and arrested firefighter Jason Dempsey on drug charges. He's accused of selling methamphetamines - so apparently that burner he had was NOT used to test smoke detectors.

(Jason Dempsey also is charged with having cocaine, which reminds me of an old rhyme we said at the grade school bus stop. Let's see -- engine engine number nine, one of your own snorts a line?!)

+ Elsewhere, Columbus police officers handed out free bicycle helmets to children. A woman with "SafeKids Columbus" said youngsters should wear helmets, even if they're on tricycles. So where's the special version for toddlers learning to walk?

+ Phenix City police arrested four 17-year-olds, on charges of robbing the "4 Pizza Pirates" restaurant on U.S. 431. These teenagers simply didn't get it. If you're going to be a PIZZA pirate, you don't take money - you take pizzas.

+ Antonio Carter of WRCG's "Talkline" asked why police at first called Wednesday night's killing on Interstate 185 a "drive-by." He claimed the term implies gangs were involved. What would he prefer - a "drive-THROUGH" shooting?
Wouldn't that imply it happened at Wendy's?

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the main complainant against Russell County Commissioner Ronnie Reed shares an attorney with Probate Judge Al Howard. Hmmmm - what ARE the exceptions to attorney-client privilege?

(That attorney is Phenix City's Kenneth White, who says HE was the one who uncovered Ronnie Reed's 30-year-old burglary conviction in Columbus. It looks like bloggers aren't the only ones who can have too much time on their hands....)

+ Columbus Hospice nurse Karen Cole won $10,000 in a Winn-Dixie supermarket contest. Cole says she and her husband had been praying for a supernatural financial miracle. That'll teach me - I should have asked God if He really wanted me to get groceries last week at Wal-Mart.

+ Utah unraveled Georgia Tech 38-10 in college football's Emerald Bowl. The game was played in San Francisco - but at the pro baseball stadium, not the pro football stadium. I guess the 49ers don't want to be shown up, by having TWO teams with winning records on its field.

(San Francisco actually has a veteran TV newscaster named Emerald Yeh. I can't help wondering if the Georgia Tech cheerleaders said that once, in her honor....)

+ Instant Message to the jail work crew I saw blowing leaves out of the Government Center parking lot well after dark, around 8:00 p.m.: Why? Did you get a complaint about leaves blowing next door, into Judge Bobby Peters's yard?

2005 IN REVIEW, CONCLUSION: November began with Opelika trying something new - as the Public Works Department was moved to private management. We're still waiting for Columbus city officials to save money, and have Peachtree Mall security guards patrol the entire city.

A man on Schomberg Road in Columbus also tried something new and different in November. He put up signs saying "STUPID IS.... AS STUPID DOES," hoping to stop speeding. I'm relieved to report those signs have NOT been moved in front of my home yet.

The new item at Oxbow Meadows in November was a "treetop trail," letting you walk five feet above the ground. This should be marketed to men, as a chance to feel a bit like Shaquille O'Neal.

Phenix City began a series of promotions in the fire department during November. A woman became a fire chief. Then a retired Columbus fire chief became an assistant chief. And if a few water cannons are installed outside Don's Fine Foods, maybe the crime there will stop.

Speaking of work, your blog had a fun Sunday afternoon in November meeting some of the people who hold furniture sale signs on Columbus street corners. Now that Rhodes Furniture is out of business, what are they going to do on Sundays? Stand on corners, holding alternatives to the Ledger-Enquirer?

The TV business mourned in November when longtime weatherman Doug Wallace died. Hopefully WRBL will keep his legacy alive - and hold annual chalk-tossing contests for children.

AFLAC made big news in November, announcing a $100 million expansion in the Corporate Ridge industrial park. I could have topped that - but I never bought a $315 million Mega Millions ticket that week.

The Georgia Baptist Convention spent several days in Columbus during November. It called for financial separation with Macon's Mercer University -- but disappointed some people by NOT endorsing Beacon University's new radio station.

Then came the weekend in November when three huge local events were held. If only they had occurred together - we might have seen S.O.A. Watch protesters march across football lines at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium, offering cell phones to any soldier they could find.

Talbot County was forced to close and renovate a recreation center in November, after TV news reports showed it in bad disrepair. To hear some students and parents talk, the Talbot County school board may be in for the same treatment next year....

But the Columbus YMCA was pleased to announce in November it plans a new complex on Broadway downtown. Nervous residents already are debating one big issue - which member of the Village People should have a statue in front of it?

November ended with a wild situation, as a local bounty hunter tried to arrest a man at a mobile home park and wound up shooting him. Just wait until all the Third Brigade soldiers get home from Iraq, and have a one-month leave....

December began with the Christian Television Network taking over WCGT TV-16. Most local programming stopped. Russ Hollenbeck's morning show disappeared. And Nate Sanderson's Sunday night talk show "Out of Order" probably is held now inside a local barbershop.

Perhaps related to this, Fort Benning opened a new chapel in early December. If you go there on days other than Sunday, maybe you'll win a big cash prize like that nurse did at Winn-Dixie.

The "Merry Christmas" debate dominated December - and it became so heated at Auburn University that two trees were put up for the season. This now becomes a big-time staredown. Which group will blink first - and which one will turn its tree into a statue of Dr. Martin Luther King in January?

But the biggest decision at year's end had to be the Columbus Council vote for a Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Midland. I can't wait for the department store to change the name of this neighborhood to "Low-Price-Land."

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.