18 DEC 05: AFTER THE QUARTER BACK

So how high is your thermostat turned up, on this chilly December weekend? Remember, every degree you turn it down could put an Atmos Energy employee out of work....

Higher energy prices are affecting all sorts of things - including one place I'd never considered. Several Columbus coin laundries are reducing their dryer times, and blaming it on the cost of natural gas. It could make customers under the collar - but their collars are still too wet.

I discovered this dryer cutback explanation Friday, on a visit to "The Wash Company" on Talbotton Road. It's a very nice place, as laundromats go - with plenty of European-style steel dryers, and someone on duty at a counter. It even has a working TV set, while others don't.

A sign at The Wash Company says as of December 1, natural gas prices forced it to reduce dryer times from eight minutes for a quarter to seven. This place HAS to be honest about it, since the dryers have clocks. Other laundromats made this cut without announcing it -- perhaps hoping you'd be too busy folding other loads to notice.

But here's my question: are laundromats such as The Wash Company really conserving natural gas by making this one-minute cutback? Shouldn't customers respond by adjusting the dryer from medium heat to high, so the whole thing is - wellll - a washout?

I really hadn't planned to visit The Wash Company, but events of recent weeks sent me there. My usual laundromat not only cut its dryer time, but raised the washer prices from 75 cents to one dollar. It was time to shop around - because every two quarters saved means one pack of cookies at a convenience store.

But my coin laundry hunt over the last several weeks brought a surprise. Most laundromats in Columbus and Phenix City charge even more for washers -- $1.25 in most cases. What's the extra quarter for, a cleaning crew tip?

I found one coin laundry Friday which matched the one-dollar washer price. It's a small and dark place attached to a Citgo station at River Road and Veterans Parkway. Perhaps they'd burn some of the gasoline to fuel the dryers....

Bad sign #1: At least one of the washers was leaking, leaving a big puddle on the floor. Well, at least you could afford to drop a sock while moving clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Bad sign #2: I chose a washer and pressed the setting for hot water - and nothing happened. When I pressed the warm button, everything was fine. So Miami rules seemed to apply - and "warm" elsewhere equals cold here.

Bad sign #3: About half the seven dryers at this coin laundry were marked "out of order." The one where I put my laundry and my 50 cents might as well have been -- because only cold air seemed to go through it. I would have done better driving home with my car windows down.

With other dryers occupied and my frustration level growing, I threw my wet laundry in my hamper and drove to "plan B" - and that's how I wound up at The Wash Company. I can only imagine how busy that place used to be, when the Peabody Apartments were down the street. On this day, no one begged me for change once.

After weeks of searching, I've reached the conclusion I should stay with my old laundromat and accept the one-dollar washer price. To borrow from a recent title here (and an old TLC song), "Don't go chasing waterfalls -- stick with the top-loading machines that you're used to...."

Since it's so cold and rainy outside, let's send some warm Instant Messages....

+ To the customers at Chester's Bar-B-Q downtown: I heard some of you -- and I think I received dinner so fast because I ordered chicken, instead of ribs. I do NOT think it was racial profiling. And my chat with the Deputy Sheriff near the counter had absolutely nothing to do with it.

+ To WRBL: How many calls did you get Saturday night when you never aired that show about high-definition TV? Did someone finally realize pre-empting "Robbie the Reindeer" would make more people angry?

+ To Georgia Public Television: Keep showing that "My Music" disco show instead of sappy holiday specials, and I might call the number to make a pledge yet....

+ To whomever wrote these words on a wall exhaust fan, at a business on Hamilton Road: "BAD SAFTY. SAFTY IS NO ACCIDENT." Bad spelling. Spelling is no accident, either. Nor is writing graffiti on a business's wall.

+ To W.C. Bradley: Don't you own the company that makes Tiki Torches? Shouldn't you sign Tiki Barber of the Giants to an endorsement deal - especially after that 220-yard rushing game he had Saturday evening?

+ To Body of Christ Church International in Phenix City: Did I read this right - you're holding a "Feast of the Trumpets" Sunday? Check the Old Testament and a Jewish calendar. You might find you're doing this a couple of months late.

+ To the church congregation I attend: The recipe called them "brownie cookies." They really were safe to eat. I would NOT burn that many chocolate chip cookies, put them in a tin and take them to a snack table.

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