27 DEC 05: A 1-1 GAME

Phenix City (and probably part of Columbus, too) spent Monday talking about a shooting. A convenience store owner was shot, four months after he was indicted for murder. Simply cross the Chattahoochee River, and you're back in the wild west - of the metropolitan area.

Don Ford was shot Saturday afternoon during a robbery at Don's Fine Foods on Fourth Avenue in Phenix City. Thankfully, the injuries are NOT serious - so Ford can walk into his murder trial, stare the District Attorney in the face and say, "I told you so."

You may recall Don Ford shot and killed a man in March at his store, during what he called an attempted robbery. A grand jury indicted him in August - and now another robber has taken Tom Joyner's radio line, "Right back at 'ya" one step too far.

Phenix City police say they have store surveillance video of Saturday's shooting, which could help them find a suspect. Well, that's a comforting thought! Earlier this year that tape led to Don Ford's indictment....

(I can hear the commercials now, by critics of the Russell County District Attorney -- have you driven a Ford out of business lately?)

The Phenix City bloggers already beat me to some good lines about this case. Will Don Ford be indicted THIS time, one wonders. Maybe local officials should bring charges against themselves, another suggests. But now that Ford's been shot, maybe we'll have a first - with prosecutors requesting a change of venue for his trial.

Think about it a minute - will the shooting of Don Ford make him conviction-proof, at his upcoming murder trial? They can't possibly find a jury filled with high school dropouts younger than age 30. I mean, not even in Russell County....

(Come to think of it, we don't know who was on that August grand jury. Could someone have decided an indictment of Don Ford now was worth some easy money later?)

People who live near Don's Fine Foods admittedly aren't amused by all this. They say gunfire is becoming more common, and some of their homes even have bullet marks. I smell a steel siding "hot zone" developing for next spring....

If that wasn't enough, the owner of a Phenix City indoor skateboard park said Monday she's been burglarized for the third time in two months. She fears one of the skaters might have done it -- and those boards only tend to leave skid marks when they chip away pieces of concrete.

Kim White says she's lost $6,000 to theft, since she opened a skateboard park on Lakewood Drive two months ago. If this keeps up, she threatens to shut down her business - and those skateboarders will be all over the Lakewood Golf Club cart paths again.

I was reminded Monday that it's been four months since the Russell County District Attorney threatened action in another part of Phenix City, against the Center City Motel. Wow, things have gone downtown since the city started pushing used car lots out toward Ladonia....

For all the news the Phenix City Fire Department has made with promotions in recent months, we haven't heard much at all from the Phenix City Police. All these cases make you wonder what the police is doing. Is it waiting for the OK to arrest County Commissioner Ronnie Reed?

Now for other notes from (sob, sniff) the final Monday night of pro football on ABC:

+ Members of the 36^th Engineer Group returned to Fort Benning, after spending almost a year in Iraq. Some of these engineers came home just in time - to figure out how to build new bicycles for their children.

+ The managers of Community Bank and Trust on Veterans Parkway issued a statement, assuring customers it is NOT connected with "Alabama Community Bank." The chair of the Alabama bank is going to prison for fraud - while the Columbus bank directors go directly to Winn-Dixie for freshly-baked bread.

+ WRBL's 5:00 p.m. newscast came on more than 20 minutes late, due to some sort of "technical difficulty." Whoever took so long to figure this out should be assessed a technical foul.

(Someone in the know tells me WRBL's programming is NOT run from a control room in Columbus, but by remote control from South Carolina. A few switches in the wrong direction, and we might see nothing but Steve Spurrier throwing hats for hours.)

+ Fireworks Outlet in Russell County unveiled a second "bang-bang" spokesmodel - as Mary joins Wanda in a new commercial. Only eight more to go, before the Columbus Cottonmouths officially can retire their cheerleading squad.

+ Instant Message to the man who asked me to complain in this blog about the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer's web site "pop-up ads": You have an alternative, you know. But don't subscribe to the newspaper on Saturdays, when the news is hidden inside wrapper ads for car dealers.

2005 IN REVIEW: More than 5,000 people came to Columbus in August for national teenage fastpitch softball tournament games. A couple of weeks later, Carver met Spencer in the "too-fast-football season" game.

August featured an unusual protest - as demonstrators from a Baptist church in Kansas showed up in Opelika, at the funeral for a soldier who was killed in Iraq. They claim God is killing soldiers overseas because some of them are homosexual. So if Saddam Hussein mysteriously breaks out of prison, we know who to blame.

Fort Benning changed Commanding Generals in August. Benjamin Freakley was shipped out - and I think his replacement's last name will come up at the next corporate spelling bee.

Eve Tidwell expanded her "God Bless Fort Benning" campaign in August, flying to Texas to counter antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan. I'm afraid it didn't work, though. Sheehan still gets all the talk on right-wing radio talk shows. Negative of course, but she gets it....

After years of waiting, Chattahoochee County opened its own high school in August. I drove to this school recently, and it's very plain-looking -- almost like they borrowed an extra-large warehouse from Fort Benning.

The son of Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson was arrested in August for driving with a suspended license. We can't wait to see Adam Johnson driving with Kurt Busch on the NASCAR circuit....

Then there was Muscogee County Frank Jordan Jr., whom we learned in August had issued a court order about Government Center parking spaces. Considering Columbus High School students didn't want to take shuttle buses from Macon Road, this made a little sense....

TSYS gained a big client in August, as it began to handle Capital One credit cards. And you thought it was only a coincidence that Auburn keeps going to the Capital One bowl in Orlando....

The Space Science Center downtown closed for extensive renovation in August. Thankfully, it stopped short of renaming it the "Coca-Cola Zero Gravity Center."

Carmike Cinemas closed the Columbus Square 8 theatres in August, leaving no movie houses south of Manchester Expressway. That's why some of us think Pastor Ann Hardman's forgetting something, with that new megachurch she's planning on Victory Drive. Why stop at just a gym?

A big star came to Columbus in August, as Hilary Duff held a back-to-school concert. All right, Lindsay Lohan - where's your "I'm coming after you" tour?

In TV news, Blaine Stewart announced online in August he was leaving WRBL within a month - then turned around and signed a new contract. It sure didn't work that way for football's Terrell Owens....

August ended with Hurricane Katrina coming ashore, and Columbus drivers rushing to gas stations which hiked their prices to as much as five dollars a gallon. As of Monday, the low gas price around Columbus was $2.04 - and that BP station on Buena Vista Road has to settle for sky-high cigarette prices.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.