20 DEC 05: ACROSS THE WATERS

Days of speculation in Phenix City came true Monday - as former Columbus fire chief Roy Waters became that city's Deputy Fire Chief. Some skeptics were expecting Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin to become an assistant city manager in Columbus.

Roy Waters "retired" as Columbus Fire Chief only three weeks ago, after spending 33 years with that department. Why do I have a feeling this man isn't sure how long the city can afford his pension?

(Three weeks is an awfully short retirement - but let's face it. How many times can a former firefighter watch the movie "Backdraft" at home before becoming bored?)

But let's do some math here: Roy Waters joined the Columbus Fire Department at age 22. He announced his retirement as Fire Chief at age 55. The only people who realistically "retire" at that age are athletes, lottery winners and hosts of get-rich-quick infomercials.

I didn't realize until the Monday evening news that Roy Waters has lived in Phenix City for years. I guess that's no big deal - as long as he never took a pumper truck home with him for the weekend.

Roy Waters is joining the "Phenix Phirephighters" partly as a favor to an old friend. He taught a class at Chattahoochee Valley Community College in the 1980's, and had current Phenix City Fire Chief Wallace Hunter as a student. Do you think Bill Gates has done this sort of thing, since he dropped out of college?

Roy Waters assured reporters he'll be working under Chief Wallace Hunter, as Assistant Fire Chief in Phenix City. Apparently the city budget has no money for "consultant" positions to do this.

As Assistant Fire Chief in Phenix City, Roy Waters will oversee the fire marshal's office - as well as something called "fire suppression." What does that division do? Certainly it wouldn't cover up the arson reports....

Fire Chief Wallace Hunter says the hiring of Roy Waters is an important step in restoring the Phenix City crew's integrity. A seven-year feud within the firefighters didn't help the department's image. But at least the legal papers in the lawsuit were kept in fireproof boxes.

The naming of Roy Waters was part of a major promotion ceremony for the Phenix City Fire Department. Six firefighters were promoted to captain. Eight were promoted to sergeant rank. But no one was publicly named a terrorism spy for the Bush administration.

But I can't help wondering what Columbus Councilors and city officials think of Roy Waters's new job. Did they know this switch to the Phenix City Fire Department was coming? Did they try to handle Waters like a baseball player - offering him a new contract with a raise, only to see him choose free agency?

The TV newscasts didn't say whether Roy Waters is taking a pay cut to join the Phenix City Fire Department as assistant chief. I would assume he is - since I haven't seen Phenix City workers carry signs in protest outside government buildings
lately.

So do Columbus city officials feel a bit abandoned, because Roy Waters joined a fire department across the river? Do they - wellll, you know - do they feel burned?

While you ponder those probing questions, let's throw some more logs on the Monday fire of topics:

+ The evening news reported Russell County Judge Al Johnson has ordered the District Attorney to take action against Commissioner and convicted felon Ronnie Reed. When Al Johnson is doing what you'd expect Probate Judge Al Howard to do, this is a dangerous combination.

+ Port Columbus announced plans to put a full-size warship outside its Civil War Naval Museum. If terrorists try to go after the new National Infantry Museum, we'll be ready....

+ Managers of the Columbus Airport admitted their telephone information line is badly out of date. Call the number, and you'll be told THREE airlines serve Columbus - when two of them left years ago! Maybe it's time to turn this place into an aviation museum.

(Mark Oropeza at the Columbus Airport said the telephone information line will need up to 30 days to change, because a completely new system must be installed. I guess the "record" button fell off the old voice mail machine.)

+ A Georgia Senate committee heard details of plans to close West Central Georgia Regional Hospital. A state official told GPB Radio community-based homes are better for treating mentally ill people than expensive hospitals. And patients can raise money if necessary, by begging around the neighborhood.

+ Cascade Hills Church hosted a seminar on the new Medicare prescription drug plan. Considering the music and messages presented at this church, I'm amazed any members are old enough for Medicare.

+ WRBL reported Georgia's "Voter ID" bus to help low-income people legally vote has broken down three times. So? It's all the better for relating to these voters....

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue traveled to Zoo Atlanta, to examine an elephant. Now THIS is a confident politician -- not even bothering to check the Democratic donkeys.

(And did you notice the Governor checked an AFRICAN elephant? This is one strange way to win minority votes next year....)

+ Instant Message to the teacher who told WRBL science should be made "more exciting" for students: Four-word answer - Fireworks Outlet field trip.

2005 YEAR IN REVIEW CONTINUED: February began with trouble in Americus, as the board of Habitat for Humanity dismissed President Millard Fuller. This made for some fun tongue-twisters at area speaking clubs - such as "feuding fired founder Fuller."

Isaiah Hugley made history in February, becoming the first African-American City Manager in Columbus history. So far, he seems to be keeping things above board. City insurance contracts with his wife's State Farm office have NOT increased.

But the city received a setback in February, when the Tour de Georgia decided to move its bicycle race course to avoid Columbus. You'd think the cyclists would have enjoyed maneuvering through the Streetscape obstacle course on Broadway....

A resignation in February may have offered a hint of events to come. Don Cook quit the Muscogee County Library Board, declaring it was "too political." So was Albert Paley's giant sculpture a Republican or a Democrat?

Things were difficult at the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park in February, as the landlord shut off the residents' water. What a sneaky way to encourage trailer arsonists....

A racial dispute broke out at Auburn University in February - with complaints two associate athletic directors were fired because they were African-American. These days, of course, the issue is different. Did either of those faculty members ever have a traffic ticket fixed?

Columbus civil rights leaders called in February for four "days of abstinence" at the end of April. That led to a plan to boycott Riverfest - and that eventually led to everything being canceled at the last minute. At least those leaders can change in a hurry, even if the rest of Columbus doesn't.

Senator Barack Obama of Illinois beat the boycott, by appearing at a Black History Month event in Columbus during February. Maybe next year he'll show up on Saint Patrick's Day, so he can be Senator O'Bama.

February marked the closure of the notorious Boom Boom Room on Cusseta Road. From what I can tell, the nightclub has not reopened - but then again, I try to avoid driving past it at 11:00 on a Saturday night.

But there was a major opening in February - as the John B. Amos Cancer Center opened on Veterans Parkway. I suppose putting it on "Lump-kin Road" would have been insensitive.

The son of Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson pleaded guilty in February to D.U.I. and marijuana possession. Adam Johnson was back in trouble with the law only a few months later, and now - well, has Roy Waters in Phenix City taken in any house guests?

The Phenix City Council approved plans in February for a major redevelopment project downtown. Someone actually has given me a couple of bricks from the demolition of one building. Now if I can get Mayor Jeff Hardin to autograph them....

Keeping it in the family: your blog was first to break the news during February that AFLAC Chairman Dan Amos had remarried. In keeping with the company's 50^th anniversary events in 2005, I presume he gave his bride a million-dollar dowry.

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