25 DEC 05: TALE FROM THE CRYPT
Did you hear about what happened at Riverdale Cemetery along Victory Drive? Police say a man went there, and dug up his mother's remains! I've heard of being with your family over the holidays, but this is ridiculous....
Columbus Police say they caught Jason Van Daam in the act Friday, digging up an urn with his mother's cremated ashes. He supposedly did this around 5:00 a.m. - perhaps waiting for all the werewolves to go to bed.
It turns out last Thursday would have been Sonya Van Daam's birthday. She was born in 1949 and died in 1990. So why would her son wait 15 years to pull up his mother's ashes? Did someone at a Waffle House dare him to do it for money?
Columbus Police say they found Jason Van Daam with his mother's urn in the back of his pickup. He was arrested for criminal trespassing, along with the charge of "being in a cemetery after hours." I guess those hours must be closer to a bank than a Krystal.
(I didn't know there was a city rule restricting the hours you can visit cemeteries. That must be why local groups of witches meet indoors, and in private....)
Jason Van Daam left jail on bond, and Sonya Van Damm's urn was returned to her grave at Riverdale Cemetery. But what is to stop him from doing this again -- perhaps at 12:00 noon today? It IS his mother, after all. And if he broke a relative's vase, this is a creative way to cover it up.
Police didn't say why Jason Van Daam might have dug up his mother's remains. But all sorts of ideas come to mind....
+ He saw videotape of that guy spreading ashes on the football field in Philadelphia -- and he has tickets to tonight's Cottonmouths game.
+ A country singer plans to do a new version of the Randy Travis classic, "Diggin' Up Bones."
+ He wants to make a fortune, selling something strange to a casino on eBay.
+ Someone gave him very bad advice on starting a flower garden.
BLOG UPDATE: It turns out Wal-Mart isn't the one place rushing the seasons. Saturday's mail brought my Georgia income tax forms. At least the Internal Revenue Service people have enough compassion to wait for people to finish Christmas shopping.
A check of the Georgia income tax book shows there are several changes for 2005. One of them is a "deduction for expenses related to organ donation." To borrow from an old country song, this could be called the Wurlitzer Prize.
But seriously: you now can deduct up to $10,000 in lost wages, lodging and travel if you donate part of your body. It applies to transplants of bone marrow, kidneys, lives and lungs -- but NOT a heart donation. So it doesn't pay in Georgia to give your heart to someone....
BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Woo-hoo! My beloved Kansas won the Fort Worth Bowl 42-13 - the football team's first win in a bowl in ten years!! But it feels downright strange for the 7-5 football Jayhawks to have a better record than the basketball team....
Now for other items of interest from this unusual weekend:
+ A Saturday night storm added to the Columbus 2005 rainfall total, which according to WRBL is among the top ten in city history. We've had so much rain that big bands plan to change one New Year's Eve party tune to, "We're in the Muddy."
+ A drive past the 24-hour Walgreens store in Phenix City at 7:45 Saturday night found the parking lot packed. So which ones of you wound up with the Chia Pets?
+ A pothole developed in the northbound lane of Broadway, between Fourth and Fifth Streets - not far from where a parked car advertises a "Santa for Hire." Hopefully he's going to lose some of that weight in the next few weeks....
+ WRBL had trouble showing the First Presbyterian Church Christmas Eve service at 11:00 p.m., so it presented a rerun of "C.S.I." instead. [True!] Somehow, I think this would be more appropriate around Passover -- with all those dead Egyptians....
(The St. Luke United Methodist Church WAS on television - so maybe God decided at the last minute He liked Methodists better than Presbyterians.)
+ The Cascade Hills Church telecast on WLTZ showed Bill Purvis marking "Christmas in New York" -- complete with Christopher Cross singing, "When you get caught between the moon and New York City!" I didn't know the church holiday pageant had become big enough to appear on Broadway.
(At one point, Bill Purvis said a Christmas trip to New York simply MUST include a trip to Macy's at Herald Square. Excuse me, Pastor -- but I think Peachtree Mall still has one.)
+ WHAL-AM again defied usual radio wisdom, by playing its usual "gospel music" on Saturday night instead of Christmas songs. I don't object to this at all - but does Clear Channel Radio consider this its "alternative" to what Sunny 100 FM does?
+ The Atlanta Falcons lost at Tampa Bay 27-24 in overtime. The Falcons technically still can make the N.F.L. playoffs - but they need to persuade several National Conference teams to stay out late on New Year's Eve and miss next Sunday's games.
+ Instant Message to the driver of an Envoy with a Lee County tag, and an ad for "brand new X-Box 360's" on the back: Am I really supposed to believe you? Where did you find a broken-down tractor-trailer filled with them?
2005 IN REVIEW: June began with an unusual warning from Fort Benning. Soldiers were barred from fishing along the Chattahoochee River, in the downtown area - and everybody else who fishes there has eaten a bit better ever since.
A fuss developed in June involving the Muscogee County Library Board and a proposed Albert Paley sculpture. The board seemed to learn its lesson from this - because you may have noticed NO big Christmas tree in front of the main library.
The sculpture debate exposed a deep little secret about Columbus -- it has a number of powerful boards, which seemingly answer to no one and fill openings quietly among themselves. In other words, they're a lot like corporate management. The thing is, no one seems to mind that with corporations....
The Columbus Public Library redeemed itself a bit during June, by starting a series of "movies under the stars." I'm amazed Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin hasn't borrowed this approach, to bring a movie theater back to his city. All you need is a canvas, and one of the empty used car lots on 13th Street.
Meanwhile, Mayor Bob Poydasheff proclaimed during June he has not received one complaint about panhandlers in town. Maybe if some of them stood on the corner of Ninth and Second, instead of Fourth and Second....
Your blog was first to mention in June that Starbucks was planning to open a coffee shop near Columbus Park Crossing. The deal became official Thanksgiving Day - and when it opens, Columbus will only be 1,999 Starbucks behind Seattle.
We also were first to note the disappearance of several named bricks from the "Olympic Ring" in South Commons. Oh no - you don't think that gravedigger at Riverdale Cemetery tried a smaller plot of ground first?!
A well-known woman confirmed a change in June, as Miriam Tidwell announced she's now going by the name "Eve." So Saturday marked the first of many years in which she'll have to endure holiday jokes....
Another big change was announced in June, which really will hit Columbus this coming year. The Georgia Public Service Commission ordered ten-digit dialing in the 706 area code. This already is happening more than you might think - with all the people moving here from Atlanta, and refusing to change cell phone numbers.
Monica Pang won the Miss Georgia title in Columbus during June. But she's been cooling her high heels ever since, because the Miss America pageant has changed TV networks and locations. She'll finally compete in Las Vegas next month - so what color feathers will be in her big hat?
Columbus High School beat Shaw in June, to win another Georgia state baseball title. But Columbus High never took on Russell County's Alabama state champs - which may mark the only major area where AFLAC failed to make a substantial donation.
There were other sports notes in Columbus during June. The Bike Ride Across Georgia began at South Commons. And Terrell Owens appeared at Rod Hood's youth football camp - but no one took time to investigate how much money he demanded in an appearance fee.
Then the calendar turned to July - and a new star was born in our area. Hopefully "Wanda the Bang-Bang Lady" had her own float at the Bi-City Christmas Parade a few weeks ago....
The storms started moving through our area in July. There was Tropical Storm Cindy, then a bit of Hurricane Dennis, and before it was over -- well, let's just say I prefer other methods of learning the Greek alphabet.
Perhaps the biggest local storm came when NAACP President Bill Madison talked on WRCG's "Talkline." Some people said he threatened to blow up Port Columbus. Madison says he didn't - and let's face it, he hasn't rolled any cannons toward that museum since.
In local political storms, a big fuss was made in July over controlling traffic on Cherokee Avenue. Should the lanes be changed? Should there be guardrails near the canal? And why didn't someone concerned about the city budget suggest making it a toll road?
The Columbus Police Chief did some tinkering with his budget in July, to keep the G.R.E.A.T. anti-gang program going. Too bad no one bothered to tell the students at East Columbus Magnet Academy several months later....
Phenix City Police had some big new tools in July, as officers began riding on Harley-Davidson motorcycles. I can't help noticing there hasn't been a single "poker run" started in that city since.
Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff called during July for big local companies to install security cameras. As if that stops people from robbing convenience stores now?!
Baseball's Columbus Catfish issued a statement in July, denying the team was considering a move to Tennessee. If only reporters had gone to the management, and started naming other states....
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