3 NOV 05: TWO THE HOOP
The Atlanta Hawks opened a new basketball season Wednesday night, by losing 122-97 on the west coast to Golden State. The farther away this team can hide from the home fans, the better things might be....
With basketball season starting, there's a noteworthy change at a downtown Columbus basketball court. St. Luke United Methodist Church now requires players who aren't members to pay a two-dollar fee. At first this didn't seem right - but then again, charging happens in basketball all the time.
The St. Luke Ministry Center began imposing the two-dollar fee for what signs call its "basketball gym" two weeks ago. The church really doesn't have another gym - unless you stack some of the chairs in one of the fellowship halls, to have a makeshift net for badminton.
That's not the only change at the St. Luke Ministry Center. People who want to play basketball now have to show a photo ID - and leave it at the entrance desk while they play. If you're going to swap something with your friends at the gym, bring trading cards....
While the St. Luke Ministry Center has memberships for people who want to use exercise equipment and take aerobics classes, until now the gym was free to everyone. It was as if the church leaders actually believed that religious line about "whosoever will may come."
I learned about the new rules of the St. Luke Ministry Center the other night, when I went there for an evening jog. Longtime blog readers know I go there for exercise, when it's too cold or rainy to run outside. Tuesday's shower was light, but I'm still not fast enough to dodge all those raindrops.
Why, I wondered, would St. Luke United Methodist Church impose a "user fee" for outsiders to play in its gym? This was a free place to play for people in the downtown area, who might not have a Columbus Parks Department court nearby. Hadn't Pastor Hal Brady given any sermons on offerings recently?
The photo ID requirement raised an even larger red flag for me. Is this some way of making sure criminals don't get inside St. Luke United Methodist? If you play Christian music over the gym's P.A. system, you might convert some of them.
The more immediate question was whether I'd have to pay two dollars simply to jog on the track around the gym. So I walked inside and went to the Ministry Center desk. The only sign-in sheet was for basketball - so maybe runners are considered too fast to catch, if they commit a crime.
"I noticed the two-dollar fee for playing basketball," I said to the man returning to the desk, "and wondered if that applies to running in the gym as well." To my surprise, it did NOT. I didn't even have to leave my driver's license! Maybe the only crime runners commit involves taking steroids before big races.
On this Tuesday night, the St. Luke Ministry Center gym was practically empty. Only one person was practicing basketball skills, and I was the only jogger. Everyone else must have been home, getting fat on Halloween candy.
The St. Luke Ministry Center gym has added a big cross to one wall, since it opened a couple of years ago. I noticed a smiling skeleton on another wall as I jogged -- and whoever spread that skeleton's arms out as if it's on a cross has a twisted view of theology.
After 35 laps around the track (hindered by piled-up gym mats at one end), I was grateful for the free and rain-free workout. But I couldn't help wondering about St. Luke United Methodist Church's new policy. Is it subtle profiling to charge people to play basketball, but not to jog on the track? Is this the start of a Ron Artest curse?
To be fair, other Columbus churches are even tighter when it comes to use of their athletic facilities. One big Baptist church won't let you join their sports leagues unless you're either a church member, or not attending anywhere. It's almost
enough to turn members of small-budget churches agnostic....
Now let's pick up the pace, and consider other items from Wednesday:
+ An afternoon drive found the Mildred Terry Library's flag at half-staff in honor of Rosa Parks, while the main library's flag on Macon Road was not. I really didn't think the main library had that many white patrons.
(You may be asking what I've done in tribute to the late Tuskegee native Rosa Parks. Well.... uhhh.... I haven't ridden any METRA buses in the last ten days, so I haven't occupied any front seats.)
+ The Columbus Trade Center hosted a conference of school "peer helpers." Boy, did I misunderstand this! I wondered why WRBL was making such a big deal about employees at Pier 1 Imports....
+ The Georgia Governor's office confirmed it's investigating Chattahoochee County Sheriff Glynn Cooper, and those dozens of pocketed warrants. It's safe to predict what one of the recommendations will be - to open a dry-cleaning shop in Cusseta, to empty the uniforms' pockets.
(One County Commissioner complained to Governor Sonny Perdue that under the current sheriff, Chattahoochee County is like Phenix City several decades ago. Huh?! You mean that Dollar General store on U.S. 280 has gambling machines and prostitutes in the back?)
+ Former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman visited Phenix City, campaigning to regain that office. His big issue was building hundreds of new roads and bridges. I assume with him in office, the order of construction would be determined by a lottery.
(One item on Don Siegelman's construction list is the building of exit ramps for Phenix City's Fifth Avenue Expressway. But hold on - doesn't the new federal highway bill provide money for those? Does Mr. Siegelman expect Senator Richard Shelby to give that money back, to balance the budget?)
+ Instant Message to Rhodes Furniture on Macon Road: What do you mean, you're only selling complete bedroom sets - and you won't break them up to sell me individual pieces? Your bankruptcy sale must not be as "desperate" as you make it sound....
BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.19 a gallon at Spectrum near the Civic Center.... men's khaki pants for nine dollars at Kmart.... and weather nice enough to walk or run in any city park for free....
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