29 NOV 05: TAG TEAM ACTION

Uh-oh, here we go again! A bill has been pre-filed in the Alabama Legislature to mention God on most license plates. You'd think people could buy "God is my co-pilot" bumper stickers on their own....

An Alabama state representative proposes putting the words "God Bless America" on almost every license plate in the state. A notable exception would be motorcycle tags - which would make atheists get in a corner with the H**l's Angels.

The proposal to write three new words on Alabama tags has three other words written all over it: election-year politics. Next year is a statewide vote. Roy Moore is running for Governor. And all sorts of churches don't have a lottery to worry about.

As you might guess, the group "Alabama Atheists" promises to oppose putting the words "God Bless America" on Alabama license plates. Who would they prefer, to bless America - a humanist like Ted Turner? Or a billionaire like Bill Gates?

But there could be another hidden issue in this issue to add words to Alabama license plates. Some lawmakers have tried for years to remove the state slogan "Heart of Dixie." Old-time Alabamians might consider "God Bless America" a concession that the Civil War is over.

(Which brings up another issue: the song "Dixie" doesn't mention God, while the last verse of "The Star-Spangled Banner" does. Would the Alabama Atheists like to change anthems? And would they like to explain it to civil rights leaders?)

I'm wondering why the Alabama state representative proposing a license plate change doesn't offer "In God We Trust" instead. It's the national motto, the phrase some conservatives want posted in school classrooms - so students point that daily "minute of silence" in the right direction.

There's also the matter of the words currently on Alabama's tags: "Stars Fell on Alabama." I've heard some people complain about them, even though they're from one of the official state songs. I guess they think the only things that fall on Alabama are opposing college football teams.

Changing a state license plate always causes controversy with some people. Remember the veterans who opposed Georgia adding what appeared to them like a yellow streak of cowardice? It really was an orange line on the plate, to signify the Peach State.

But I suspect many Alabamians really don't care what's on their license plates. They try to drive so fast that law officers can't read the tag number, much less the slogan....

We'll watch this issue in the months ahead -- but we'll tag out now, and check other Monday headlines:

+ A public forum was held on building a new Mildred Terry Library branch downtown. The current branch is the smallest in town, yet has the most visitors per square foot - and from my visits there, the children's section has the smallest visitors per square foot as well.

(There are plans to double the size of the Mildred Terry Library in coming years, to provide meeting rooms and more space for public access computers. Right now space is so tight that a few computer users play online games against each other.)

+ Part of Interstate 185 was blocked during morning rush hour, because a storm drain was covered by leaves during heavy rain. You'd think someone would be out collecting all those leaves, taking them home, and burning them all winter to lower his heating bill.)

+ Opelika police officer Keith Preer resigned, because he was arrested on sex crime charges. Preer was arrested in Auburn nearly two weeks ago, yet word came out about it only Monday - so at some levels of government, cover-ups may be legal.

+ The Columbus Better Business Bureau opened its nominations for the Torch Awards, honoring reputable businesses. This was WRBL's top story during the 6:00 p.m. news - perhaps because "torch" is a subtle reminder that station shows "Survivor."

+ Instant Message to Blimpie: Why do so many of your shops in our area open for a few months, then shut down? The latest one is at the Pierce Crossing Shopping Center in Phenix City. Why don't you merge with Firehouse Subs, and sink for good?

SONG OF THE DAY: Maybe this is a bit behind the trend - but if they can use the "Chipmunk Christmas Carol" about hula hoops to sell DVD's of "The Sopranos," I can put new lyrics on it for health reasons:

Mister Atkins, he has said....

To lose weight, do not eat bread.

Carbohydrates, they can be....

Adding to obesity.

Eat lean meat -- and eat fish, too.

Protein foods are good for you!

If you'd rather wind up dead....

Eat lots and lots of bread!

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