24 NOV 05: TY
OK, "TY" - what do you think today's title means? Here's a hint: we have NO evidence that Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is coming to Columbus....
Hint #2: I've only driven through Ty Ty, Georgia a couple of times in my life. I stopped there once on a vacation in 2000 - and I was more interested in a convenience store restroom and a bottle of soda than nurseries filled with muscadines and grapes.
If you're into text messaging or Internet chat rooms, then you've probably solved the puzzle of our title. "TY" is 21st-century shorthand for "thank you." It's so short that it seems almost insignificant -- but then again, so is a little toe until you stub it on a table leg.
Are we becoming too flip with our saying of thanks, when we reduce it to a TY? Well, at least we're saying something. A wave from your car window to a courteous driver really says nothing -- and in the wrong eyes could be taken as a Nazi salute.
I bring this up because it's Thanksgiving Day. This should be the ultimate day of the year for TY's. Of course, many people who want to try this have to wait another month -- until someone gives them a specially-equipped wireless phone.
Since I don't have a text messaging device or a wireless phone, I must use a blog to send high-tech TY's. And there's no better day to send them, so let's send a stack as we customarily do on Thanksgiving:
+ To the Russell County Commission - for becoming the best source of joke material of any governmental body in the area.
+ To the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, for a nice mention of this blog several months ago. Not that anyone's mentioned it to me since, but....
+ To the board overseeing the new Columbus Public Library. At least the two-dollar brownies in the café are worth the price - even if that sculpture wasn't.
+ To WLGA TV-66, for building the new tower it started using this week. At last I can see why people watch "America's Next Top Model" - well, at least why guys watch.
+ To Auburn University trustee Bobby Lowder, for getting caught on that secret trip to Louisville two years ago. It was the best incentive Tommy Tuberville ever could have had.
+ To the Firestone repair shop downtown, for fixing my broken-down car two months ago - and for doing it without anything else mysteriously going wrong.
+ To all the area motels which have housed survivors of Hurricane Katrina for the last three months. Who knows how many beggars would have slept on my floor, if you hadn't done that?
+ To the soldiers at Fort Benning, for keeping us safe from danger - you know, like those chanting protesters on Fort Benning Road carrying crosses.
+ To the Columbus Kiwanis Club, for allowing me to speak at a lunch meeting a couple of months ago. And that offer to be a paid consultant in building a blog for you - I meant that.
+ To WEAM-AM, for bringing ESPN Radio back to Columbus. The other day I heard minutes of fascinating analysis, about Randy Moss saying nothing in an interview for 12 seconds. [True!]
+ To the Columbus city crew which repaved Wynnton Road over the last few months. Coasting down the hill from Buena Vista Road to Tenth Avenue never has been more fun.
+ To the Atlanta Hawks, for finally winning a basketball game Wednesday night. Now we can all point fingers at the Falcons, for having the longest losing streak around.
+ To area gas stations, for lowering their prices to $1.99 a gallon or less. Wow, it seems strange to write that....
+ To "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" - a Columbus blog which claims this one as its inspiration. That's truly humbling. But so far, I still think I write better jokes.
+ To Antonio Carter, for becoming co-host of WRCG's "Talkline." You've proven civil rights leaders actually CAN go out and get a real job.
+ To the Columbus Cottonmouths, for playing here for a tenth season. Compared with other local pro sports teams, that's almost a lifetime.
+ And to all of you who read this blog, and contact us about it from time to time. May you have a happy Thanksgiving. May you take time to express thanks to the real source of all blessings. And may you please think of me, if someone gives you cheesecake in a flavor you don't like.
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