27 NOV 05: OUTSIDE THE BOX

Here's the scoreboard from a holiday weekend trip down Highway 520, between Columbus and Albany: four signs supporting Mark Taylor for Governor. None for any other candidate. And one homeowner flying the old Georgia "Confederate" flag - probably wishing Roy Moore lived there instead of Alabama.

Our journey down the South Georgia Parkway found NO big crowds of Friday shoppers filling stores. Well, at least not in places like Dawson or Sasser in Terrell County. Residents there must get a big laugh at big-city shoppers crowding into malls.

Things were busier in northwest Albany itself. At midday the Target parking lot was almost full - which may prove you really didn't need Kermit the Frog to wake you up to shop....

On the way out of Albany, I stopped for soda at a convenience store near the Lee County line - and found myself triple-teamed by beggars. And amazingly for Thanksgiving weekend, none of them was ringing a bell or playing a tuba.

Three young people were holding canisters for the "Phantoms Boxing Team." Apparently it's a Christian boxing team, because I saw crosses on the canister labels. Whether it was a right cross or a left cross, I have no idea....

A youth boxing team like the Phantoms apparently needs plenty of money to operate. One of the youngsters told me a road trip can cost $4,000 or more! I guess even at an early age, these boxers need a posse to mooch off them.

The big goal right now for the Phantoms Boxing Team is securing a new gym in Albany. The youth told me the boxing ring itself could cost $15,000 to $20,000. I didn't know they cost so much - but then again, maybe this is a specially-reinforced ring for power-slamming pro wrestlers.

I didn't go to Albany to buy boxing rings, yet here I faced three young fighters. If I didn't put money in their canisters, they might have bopped me on the head with them until I surrendered.

After going inside to buy my soda for the drive back to Columbus, I succumbed. My spare change went in one of the canisters as I walked out -- but only after the store cashier confirmed the young boxers had permission to be there. There wasn't some mysterious "Peanut Mafia" at work here....

It felt a bit uncomfortable to give money to an Albany youth boxing club, since I presumed Columbus also had one. Sure enough, a Saturday night check online found the "Columbus Blazers." Maybe if the Phantoms aren't legitimate, that team can go down and beat them up for me.

Let's now retreat to a neutral corner, and check other discoveries from the holiday weekend:

+ Columbus Police admitted the city has had 26 armed robberies in the last 46 days - and a shortage of officers isn't making things any easier. Maybe if we gave convenience store clerks giant magnets, to collect the guns and knives....

+ The "Getting on Top of Life" broadcast on WHAL-AM featured Pastor and Muscogee County School Board member Joseph Roberson saying to tell only part of the truth is "so like Negroes...." Now hold on a minute! I haven't heard anyone accuse the Secretary of State of leaking names of CIA agents.

+ Dougherty shocked Shaw 30-14 in the Georgia high school football semifinals. So why did Charles Flowers answer "maybe," when WRBL asked if it was his final game as Shaw's head coach? Is he thinking about bailing out as Muscogee County Athletic Director? Is he being offered Ashley Powell's old office in a closet?

(Did you notice both Shaw and LaGrange lost their semifinal games to teams named the Trojans? Some of us are wondering when Baptist parents will stand up, and claim that nickname promotes unsafe sex.)

+ Georgia scored a late touchdown to beat Georgia Tech 14-7. The first quarter was slowed down by officials reviewing four different plays -- which had me wondering if the booth reviewer was from the Georgia Law School.

(Georgia radio announcer Neal Williamson declared the Bulldogs now have won 13 games in a row over Georgia Tech -- since two Tech wins in the late nineties have been vacated due to probation. Did Williamson happen to help George O'Leary prepare his resume a few years ago?)

+The rap show "Dead Serious TV" on WLGA showed an interview at FM 101.3 "Da Beat" - which was labeled the "krunkest station" in Columbus. It is?!?! I thought WRCG had that.... no wait. "TalkLine" callers make it the crankiest station in Columbus.

(OK, I'm not hip on hip-hop slang - but does this mean when you FM 101.3, you should "krunk it up?" As in the volume?)

+ WRBL and WLTZ showed the same infomercial at the same time, 7:00 p.m. Saturday. At least it was a collection of music from the 1970's - because dueling exercise programs would have worn me out.

+ Instant Message to the driver of the Patriot Cab with license number 483 KKF: Are you kidding me?!?! Turning around in the middle of Macon Road? And doing it between Forrest Road and Interstate 185?? This isn't Atlanta - you CAN go around the block here.

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