5 JUL 05: THE SECRET PARADE
A big surprise was pulled on a Fort Benning family Monday. It actually began a few days ago, when Jennifer Lucas was named an "honorary grand marshal" in Atlanta's "Salute to America Parade." When you receive this honor and you're not either a sports hero or a soap opera star, that should be a hint....
Jennifer Lucas was one of four military families named honorary grand marshals for Atlanta's big Independence Day parade. Organizers said they embodied the American spirit, while their husbands served overseas. The rest of us could have embodied that spirit by getting off the couch and running in the Peachtree Road Race.
But as we say, Jennifer Lucas and the other heads of household had a big surprise coming - as their spouses secretly were flown to Atlanta for a holiday reunion. This stunt goes back to the old radio and TV show "Truth or Consequences." I keep waiting for Madonna to host a 21st-century version called "Truth or Dare."
Private Stephen Lucas has been in Iraq most of the year with Fort Benning's 36th Engineer Group. But very quietly, he was flown to Atlanta Sunday. The U.S. Army knows how to keep secrets - unless it wants to pass around pictures of soldiers acting like smart alecks as Iraqi prison guards.
Stephen Lucas was kept in Atlanta for Monday's big surprise - but once he arrived, he shared Sunday dinner with a fellow parade participant, Miss America Deidre Downs. Isn't this a little like putting a "sexy decoy" next to a guest on the Maury Povich Show?
Midday Monday came, and Jennifer Lucas and her fellow honorary grand marshals were introduced to the parade crowd. Then out of hiding came the military spouses, for what had to be a heart-tugging moment. And the best part for Private Lucas may have been that the full garbage can at home was 100 miles away.
Private Stephen Lucas also was reunited with his daughter, who reported she has a new bicycle back home at Fort Benning. She didn't bring it to Atlanta, of course - as once again Columbus pays a price for not being a Tour de Georgia stop.
Hopefully the Lucas family had plenty of time Monday to talk and hug in private. That was the one awkward thing about this reunion - it happened on a downtown street, during a parade filled with marching bands. It's hard to whisper "sweet nothings" to your sweetheart when a line of trombones is about 30 feet away.
Let the record show a Columbus TV news crew was at the Lucas family reunion in Atlanta - and they kept the whole plot secret, apparently for several days. This should shut up the critics who say journalists can't keep a secret. But then again, it will fuel the other side -- the ones who think journalists hide the truth.
Let's see how many other ways people marked Independence Day 2005:
+ 8:30 a.m.: I jogged down Dillingham Street, ON the street over the Chattahoochee River. It was closed to traffic for Thunder on the Hooch. Now THAT'S real American freedom -- free to get off the sidewalk to run.
+ 1:00 p.m.: St. Luke United Methodist Church holds a holiday cookout at Flat Rock Park. Only this is put on by the Hispanic ministry - so the closest thing to a traditional patriotic song might be "I Like to Be in America" from West Side Story.
+ 1:35 p.m.: I leave for work (a day on, not a day off) - and find neighbors at my apartment complex have giant chopped pieces of logs outside with a large rented grill. I never knew they had lumberjack contests this far down in the South.
+ 7:05 p.m.: The Columbus Catfish play an Independence Day baseball game in North Carolina. Their opponent is the Hickory Crawdads. Why they don't name this team the "Wild Hickory Nuts" and get a sponsorship from Grape-Nuts cereal is a mystery to me.
+ 9:20 p.m.: The big fireworks show begins at Thunder on the Hooch - and it seemed to set a record for length, at 30 minutes. But some in the crowd probably wish the firing crew would copy what NASA did, and have two of the rockets collide with each other.
+ 9:45 p.m.: Columbus Police are receiving all sorts of calls about illegal fireworks use. One call claims a firecracker exploded in a child's face at the Booker T. Washington Apartments. Why can't some people settle for staging their own hot dog eating contests?
+ 10:55 p.m.: I drive home from work - and as I approach Eighth Street, someone is walking back and forth in the middle of Fifth Avenue. He's in the crosswalk, walking two steps one way then a couple the other way. Has this man had too much holiday beer - or is someone on a corner about to have a baby?
(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today are officially concluded - but you're welcome to read on, if you want to think about some deeper matters which have sparked controversy here.)
BUT SERIOUSLY: To borrow a church phrase, it appears our blog has stopped joking to some people and started meddling. The latest "blog blast" came Monday:
Richard:
I have been reading you blog for some time now, and find it generally amusing. My favorite aspect is your occasional comment on things happening in our city that are out of the public eye. However, I must say that I will henceforth view such comments by you with a jaundiced eye.
Your comment that the Catholic Church "claims to follow the Bible -- yet often prays to Mary more than the God who made her" reflects a significant lack of knowledge and understanding of Catholic theology. You really should consider more closely your usage of such modifiers as "often" and "more" before you hit the submit button. Although we Catholics do pray to Mary, such prayer usually asks her to intercede for us with her Son - we do know who is in charge!
I would not presume to comment on your religion, because I am not knowledgeable of its precepts. Please leave my religion, and other subjects with which you are not familiar, alone.
Anne Norfolk
I'm glad Anne believes God is in charge. But let's consider some important parts of this e-mail, hopefully with an open mind:
1. As for "often" and "more" - isn't the Catholic rosary supposedly making a comeback? That's what some pro-rosary web sites I checked Monday claim, so I'm actually giving them the benefit of my doubt.
One web site gives an order for reciting the rosary: One Apostles' Creed, one Lord's prayer, three Hail Marys and one Gloria Patri. When I listened to daily rosary radio broadcasts in Kansas City growing up, the Hail Marys tended to come in groups of five. But I wouldn't dare call this lowering the bar....
Even using the online order, people following this rosary pray to Mary about half the time - and a "Salve Regina" at the end would seem to tip the balance in her favor. For those of you who don't know much about religion, I'm not sure if Regina, Saskatchewan is named after this or not.
2. "We Catholics do pray to Mary." To which I would ask - where in the Bible is anyone told to do that?
When Cornelius first met the Apostle Peter, Cornelius "worshipped him. But Peter took him up, saying, 'Stand up; I myself also am a man.'" (Acts 10:25-26, King James Version)
In Revelation, John is told by an angel to record an awesome vision But when he falls to worship that angel, he's told: "Do not do it! I am a fellow servant with you.... Worship God!" (Rev. l9 9-10) If the lead apostle of the early church wouldn't take worship to himself, and not even an angel from heaven will accept it, why should anyone kneel to worship Mary?
3. There's one other major problem in praying to Mary -- and this is a theological issue which extends far beyond the Roman Catholics. Where in the Bible does it say Mary is in heaven now?
"No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven -- the Son of Man." Those aren't my words, but those of Jesus in John 3:13 -- words which grabbed my attention the first time I read them as a teenager. He came from heaven, so you'd think He would know.
"David did not ascend to heaven," Peter said in Acts 2:34 -- apparently not even after certain unnamed people came out of their graves when Jesus was crucified.
If one of Israel's greatest kings isn't there, then a lot of other people aren't. The founder of my church denomination isn't. And pro football coaching legend Hank Stram, who died Monday, isn't - the coach who once joked to the Kansas City Huddle Club if all else fails in a game to say: "Hail Mary, full of grace...."
No, I don't think all humans are doomed to rot away in graves. My Bible tells me in I Thessalonians 4 a resurrection is coming -- but not until Jesus Christ returns. I hope to be part of that. God only knows for sure how many will be part of that. But that will be a time when people unfamiliar with Biblical religion might well feel like they're left alone - and it won't be a good thing.
I didn't set up this blog to be a religious discussion group, but I have a section of cyberspace where I look at religious topics. No, I don't claim to know it all. But the God behind the Bible does - the God who urges in Colossians 2:8 to depend on Christ, not someone's tradition.
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