21 JUL 05: THE SECRET STORM
It appeared Wednesday would pass with no rain in Columbus - but in my neighborhood, that all changed around 7:30 Wednesday night. A strong thunderstorm came and seemed to park right above the Historic District. It was almost as if Bill Madison found some dynamite to blow up after all....
7:30 p.m.: I decide to heat a frozen pizza in the microwave oven for dinner. Following the instructions, I let it heat 2 ½ minutes, then "rotate half-turn" before heating another two minutes. Why I'm asked to do this when the plate inside the oven turns all the time, I have no idea.
As I eat the pizza, rain starts to fall - but the sky is still rather bright. Since the TV radar showed rain south of Columbus earlier in the afternoon, I theorize it's one of those short "popcorn showers." Until a few years ago, I thought those only happened as newlyweds ran to their car.
7:40 p.m.: Since I live only a long fly ball away from Golden Park, I tune to WDAK Radio to see if the Columbus Catfish game is still on. Two guys are chatting, one more than normal -- so the answer obviously is no.
I'm not sure who Catfish play-by-play voice Chad Goldberg has as a guest, but Goldberg suggests the man go downstairs and "get us a couple of beers." Goldberg has a great future doing St. Louis Cardinal games -- since the Busch family owns that team.
Chad Goldberg admits a few spots at Golden Park were "thoroughly soaked" by rain during the recent Catfish road trip. That's apparently why Sunday's game was postponed. I thought a new drainage system was installed a couple of years ago to stop this problem - but maybe too many players spit tobacco on the wrong spots.
7:45 p.m.: The rain gets stronger and lightning flashes develop. I've turned the radio dial to WHAL - which probably is unwise, since Chad Goldberg is likely to give you the most complete weather report in town at that moment from his laptop computer.
7:50 p.m.: It not only rains, it pours - and a small pool of water has developed on the vinyl kitchen floor. It's time to get out the mop. And for a change, the water is free....
Regular blog readers will recall my landlord installed a new back door on my apartment early last year. The old back door had a half-inch gap at the bottom, which let in not only rain from storms but cockroaches of all sizes. Maybe that's why my left foot has become so flat -- from stomping so many bugs.
Even with a new back door and a weatherstrip I added to the threshold a few years ago, a little rain still seeps into the kitchen. So for the first time in months, I spend time mopping - and to borrow from a guest on the noon TV news, I'm "Cleaning Like a Man."
7:55 p.m.: Thunder becomes as intense as the rain. I assume the Catfish game is rained out -- with fans trying to protect their free Chuck Tiffany bobblehead dolls from becoming lightning rods.
8:00 p.m.: I turn on TV to see if any storm or flood warnings have been issued - and am a bit surprised to find none. For once, Clear Channel Radio is accurate in ignoring nasty weather.
WHAL sounds like it's ready to go off the air every time lightning flashes - but it stays on the air with gospel praise songs. If you're going to get zapped or drown in a flood, at least you should lean in the right direction....
8:10 p.m.: A peek outside shows a lake forming in the apartment complex courtyard. The landlord's crew cut the grass only two hours before. So its timing was great - but the weeds which could have served as a measuring stick are gone.
At about the same time, flooding is reported in the parking lot of Columbus Regional Medical Center. One witness says water reached as high as some car windows. So it could have been worse - the water could have reached the windows of SUV's.
8:15 p.m.: The thunder and lightning keep roaring -- so I finally decide to turn off my computer. It received more than $150 worth of fine-tuning only last week. Well, the computer keeps freezing nearly every time I disconnect from the Internet -- so maybe it wasn't so fine.
I turn on TV again, and still no warnings are on the screen. Instead, ABC is showing a two-minute commercial for an "Ionic Air Freshener." I almost double-check my calendar, to see if it's really a Saturday night.
8:25 p.m.: With no letup in the lightning and heavy rain, I begin to review my day. Is God sending a message that I sinned in some way during the day? I mean, I don't watch every minute of Jerry Springer - I tune out when the audience asks questions....
I go to the kitchen, and drop to my knees for a prayer of mercy and repentance. Hopefully some of the churches holding Wednesday night services did the same thing -- or did they assume God was punishing everybody who was outside watching baseball?
While I'm in the kitchen, I notice the puddle of water has not returned with the extra rain. Perhaps the gusty wind is blowing the rain in a different direction - or it's a high-quality storm, cleaning all parts of the apartment equally.
8:30 p.m.: Another check outside finds the courtyard now has three small lakes full of rain. But the neighbors who like to fire BB guns have not broken out their fishing poles....
My next-door neighbor is sitting in a chair on his covered front porch with a tall can of Busch beer - and as he's done before during rainstorms, he's howling.
"Dare I ask why?" I say to him. The neighbor throws up his hands as if he's not really sure why. So perhaps he's not drunk -- but with no moon showing through the storm, I'm left convinced he's not a werewolf.
8:35 p.m.: I use the restroom for a moment - but I don't dare wash my hands after I do. The weather experts warn you about getting shocked during a lightning storm through running water. Yet I didn't think of this danger minutes earlier, when I poured myself a glass of soda.
8:50 p.m.: The lightning finally seems to be subsiding, so I return to the restroom to wash my hands. As soon as I step inside, the thunder claps again. Does Mr. Clean have an evil twin or something?
9:00 p.m.: With hardly any lightning left but still plenty of rain, I turn the computer back on. At least the storm has given me a blogging topic - and one a lot more interesting than fewer people buying blue jeans in Columbus.
9:10 p.m.: One more check outside finds the rain practically has stopped, yet the lights are still on at Golden Park. Surely they aren't going to play baseball after this storm - but those automatic timers can be troublesome to turn off.
10:20 p.m.: WXTX News at Ten reveals central Columbus had 2.4 inches of rain from the storm, in only about 90 minutes. Yet parts of North Columbus apparently had nothing -- so for once, the south side has something the wealthy folks don't.
Now that you've had "First Weather," let's get to the Wednesday news:
+ About those blue jeans -- the Swift Galay mill announced it will lay off about 250 employees in early August. But it's not yet clear exactly which employees will be told to go. Now there's an unusual way to promote better job performance....
(If there's any consolation, the remaining mill workers will change from 12-hour shifts to eight-hour shifts. This should give them more time each day with their families -- not to mention more time to train for jobs in other areas.)
+ WRBL's "Top Story" at 6:00 p.m. was how many people they found jaywalking downtown. That settles it for me - let's put up guardrails all over 12th Street and Second Avenue, and not only Cherokee Avenue.
(One of the people WRBL caught jaywalking was an admitted church deacon. "Praise the Lord, I didn't get hit," he said with a bit of a smile on his face -- which is a bit like a spouse abuser thanking God that he's not a bigamist, and outnumbered by other wives.)
+ Instant Message to NBC-38's Al Fleming: If all you can find to comment about is the letters section of the Ledger-Enquirer, may I make a silly-sounding suggestion? Write your own letter back....
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