3 JUL 05: "BOOM BOOM" ROOM?
It was 4:17 a.m. Saturday when I heard it. I turned to my bedroom alarm clock when it happened - something going pop outside my window. Maybe it was a backfiring car, deep in the night. But if someone is shooting off fireworks at that hour, they've definitely had too many beers.
Almost all fireworks are banned in Georgia, and they're completely banned inside Phenix City. So what was all the popping I heard while I was out Saturday night? Were that many people inspired to step on bubble wrap at the same time?
The first occasional popping I heard seemed to come from Phenix City, south of the Dillingham Street Bridge. I heard it as I jogged north on the Columbus Riverwalk - quite thankful at moments like that for a wide river in the way.
A man wearing an orange reflective shirt passed me at the Trade Center as I made the return trip south. "Arrest those people," I told him pointing west. "They're breaking the law!" I didn't turn around to see if he was an officer, or simply part of the Jehovah's Witness convention parking crew.
I finished the twilight run (beyond three miles for the second Saturday night in a row), then drove to dinner - and heard the most serious popping of the night. It came from the Booker T. Washington Apartments. How people living there can afford to even drive to Russell County, much less buy fireworks, I have no idea.
For the first time in decades, it's legal this year to shoot off sparklers in Georgia. Did I see correctly -- they're on sale at Target?! Does this mean they sparkle in designer colors?
Columbus Police receive countless calls about illegal fireworks shooting on this holiday weekend - but tracking down violators must be difficult. It's not like people fire bottle rockets and give themselves away....
My first Independence Day in Columbus was a Friday in 1997. As I started out for a late-afternoon walk, a man was setting off Black Cat firecrackers in the apartment courtyard while a toddler wandered around a few feet away. It's a wonder the child's feet weren't BLOWN a few feet away.
"Isn't it against the law to shoot off fireworks in Georgia?" I asked the man.
"I don't care. I'm going to do it, anyway," he answered. Perhaps he was patriotic, but didn't know the verse of "America the Beautiful" about liberty in law.
"I thought it was against the law to do that in Georgia." Having lived in the state 13 years, I knew that - and thought perhaps this was an out-of-towner who didn't.
"I don't care," the man repeated.
"Ohhhh." For this man and seemingly many others, Independence Day apparently meant freedom from all rules - which doesn't even happen in professional wrestling "Texas Death Matches."
I had radio headphones with me, and put them on to listen to an Atlanta-Montreal baseball game as I walked. That apparently was wise, because I thought I heard the man yelling something at me as I turned my back to move on. Sometimes Skip Carey's voice can be quite loud....
My walking course took me to 4th and Broadway -- and who should come up to that intersection but two Columbus police officers, one on a bike and another in a Riverwalk mini-car. I told them about my neighbor one block away, then kept walking. When I returned home, it was the quietest Independence Day I've had here.
But things weren't so pleasant later in the weekend. As I drove home and walked out of my car, a couple of people strongly suggested I shouldn't have said anything - and even hinted at retaliation. But eight years later, I'm still here - and still the only person who puts out a U.S. flag for the holiday.
By the way, did you see WRBL's interview with Wanda from Fireworks Outlet in Russell County? Wanda Lamb said she added the "little bang-bang" line on the advice of her boss. At some workplaces, that advice would be grounds for a sex discrimination suit.
Hoping your holiday weekend is quiet and peaceful, let's check some other notes:
+ Adrian Hamilton pleaded guilty to murdering his relatives and kidnapping two nuns in Harris County. District Attorney Grey Conger said he accepted life without parole because the Catholic Church opposes the death penalty. If this denomination is so against it, you'd think parishes would hold mass less often -- and avoid "celebrating the Lord's death."
+ A regional Jehovah's Witnesses convention was held at the Columbus Civic Center. A walk through the parking lot revealed a couple of cars had "vanity license plates" on them - so I guess they're the latest converts, who repented most recently of pride.
+ Tony Stewart won the rain-delayed Pepsi 400 at Daytona Beach, which didn't finish until well after 1:30 a.m. If this NASCAR race had been run in Columbus, there might have been 1,000 fans left in the stands for the checkered flag - because all the Sunday school teachers couldn't be late for class.
+ Instant Message to Motel 6 on Victory Drive: Are you kidding me - a Motel 6 charging 50 dollars for a one-person room? What sort of light are you leaving on for me, an antique Victorian lamp?
BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.01 a gallon at Citgo, 5th and Veterans Parkway.... FREE pool for soldiers at Cellars Lounge on Victory Drive.... but 99-cent hot dogs at Wild Animal Safari? What sort of meat are they using??
COMING MONDAY: How you can get free help in becoming a U.S. citizen....
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