24 JUL 05: SATURDAY MORNING CONFUSION
The phone rang at 7:15 a.m. Saturday as I slept. What could this call be? A family member with a dire emergency? A telemarketer calling from the Philippines, offering discount gutters?
Well, no. The caller was someone I never would have guessed - a man I'm calling Mr. Z. I'm calling him this because his phone call robbed me of several....
Mr. Z knew me by first name, because we'd chatted months ago. His real name was on an internal Columbus Police memo which was leaked to "IsOurCitySafe" last winter, then spread by e-mail all over town. I dared to call Mr. Z about the memo -- while I'm guessing almost everyone else chose to click "delete."
Mr. Z indicated months ago he was going to let the memo matter pass, on guidance from his attorney. But Saturday he called me with a new issue. Apparently he called 911 about an animal control matter at his residence, and was told NOT to call police anymore. Well, the police department DOES close for weekends now....
"You're supposed to call 311 for animal control," I half-sleepily told Mr. Z. Admittedly that might not be accurate, but the city annual report does show that's the "police non-emergency" number. Whether the size of the dog on the porch makes it an emergency is probably a judgment call.
Mr. Z didn't know about 311 vs. 911, but this opened the floodgate for him to pour out his thoughts on all sorts of things. This self-proclaimed "conservative Christian Republican" says he's faced all sorts of difficulties in recent years. Before you jump to conclusions - no, this is NOT Dylan Glenn.
Mr. Z believes he's facing racism in his neighborhood. For one thing, he claims drivers turn around in his driveway at an intersection while not turning around at any others, firing insults as they do. Come to think of it, a good fence with a gate at the street could stop that....
Mr. Z played me two voice mail messages from his "minister" sister, in which a female voice called him "a devil." The time code on one of the messages was about 6:55 a.m., so this woman might not like early wake-up calls, either.
(Mr. Z says people call him a "crazy N****r," yet I tried to point out his sister was calling him something worse -- and longtime local residents know devils tend to be either blue or red.)
"I'm not crazy, Richard.... I'm not a lunatic," Mr. Z assured me several times. Yet his words kept bouncing from issue to issue, almost by the sentence - as if either his medicine for ADHD ran out, or he was in a contest with a child on a trampoline.
Mr. Z told me all his seemingly-random thoughts actually tied together - and maybe you can tell me how, because I'm stumped:
+ This former military man said the September 11th attacks were due to "American arrogance." Shame on us for telling the Taliban not to blow up giant Buddhas.
+ The recent London bombings are "a white-black issue." Ooh boy -- are people from Pakistan really either one?
+ He doesn't bother with civil rights groups, because one is "taking on a black school board" in Talbot County. That's puzzled me, too - but maybe Ed DuBose is trying to demonstrate racial equality.
+ Bill Clinton and his supporters left "trash at the Lincoln Memorial" on New Year's Eve once. After four-and-a-half years, some people still won't let the former President go.
+ He brought up the daytime drama "One Life to Live." "Do you think the Killing Club Killer is doing it for racial reasons?" I asked twice - and he backed down, perhaps stunned that I actually knew a plot line.
So what does Mr. Z do for a living? He says he runs a recording business for Christian artists. Without my asking, he proceeded to read me several lines of his business plan - which states all artists must disavow "non-medicinal alcohol." I was too groggy to ask him about Jesus turning water into wine.
At one point Mr. Z asked me to read II John 10 from the Bible. I had to go get one from another room, because I don't have a Bible next to my bed. I'm a bit strange, because I prefer to read it when I'm fully awake and alert.
(He had me read this only because the King James Version has the words "God speed." This surprised Mr. Z, who thought that phrase really came from the 1962 John Glenn space flight -- way back when the U.S. HAD space flights.)
"God is not the author of confusion," Mr. Z told me several times - yet sadly, his rambling comments seemed that way to me. So he offered to mail me a "chronological order" of events in his life, dating back to at least 1995. Then all I'll have to do is persuade A&E to do a "Biography" show about him.
Mr. Z ended the one-sided conversation at 8:52 a.m. - 97 minutes after I picked up the phone. So when I went to church in the afternoon, the pastor's 50-minute sermon seemed downright wimpy by comparison....
But Mr. Z wasn't finished. He called me again at 11:55 a.m. "I'm going to the post office right now," he assured me. At least he communicates with me - but I told him a couple of times I didn't serve in the military.
I figured Mr. Z would call one more time before the day was over - and sure enough, the phone rang again at 7:33 Saturday night. "I put the letter in the mail today," he reported.
"Thank you for continuing live coverage of this developing story," I replied - a response which even brought a laugh out of him.
"Don't forget," I continued, "Columbus doesn't have Sunday mail delivery - so I won't get your letter tomorrow."
"Take care, Richard...."
"I'm just saying you won't need to call me tomorrow, because I won't have your letter yet."
"Take care, Richard!" Some people can give it a lot, but can't take it very much.
If there's anything worth mentioning from Mr. Z's letter - well, he'll probably call first to get my impressions of it. So if he reads this blog, this could be the last surprise he receives for awhile....
BLOG UPDATE: The Georgia NAACP Chairman came to Columbus Saturday to provide an update on the Kenneth Walker case. He spoke at the front door of the Public Safety Center - and since it's now closed on weekends, African-American people are safe to hang out there on Saturday all they wish.
Walter Butler said his state NAACP office has been "in contact with the Attorney General's office" about the Kenneth Walker case. Yet after 19 months, this group apparently still hasn't met with Thurbert Baker. Either Baker is dodging the issue, or he's out building one giant reelection campaign fund.
Walter Butler told reporters Columbus officials haven't done enough to bring the city together after the Kenneth Walker shooting. He claimed the city is "sitting idly by" -- perhaps not realizing when you don't have health insurance, you let your body heal itself naturally by doing very little.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of the NAACP, Bill Madison's comments on WRCG this past week [19 Jul] brought a message this weekend:
I am so disappointed you beat me to the "Could there really be a 'Best of Talkline' show". Of course not. Another reason not to tape the show...if no one tapes it there is no evidence for a law suit if one of the hosts slandered someone (it could happen).
Justin
Now hold on a minute - isn't Justin a bit confused here? Robbie Watson and Matt Young co-host "TalkLine." Don Imus and Bill O'Reilly were kicked off WRCG months ago.
Now let's turn down the radio, and send a pile of Instant Messages....
+ To Columbus Police Detective Joyce Dent-Fitzpatrick: It's been three months now. Isn't it about time you gave the WXTX "To Serve and Protect Award" back to Officer Rosalyn Hall?
+ To the Mediterranean Café on Airport Thruway: Aw c'mon - commercials with a REGGAE singer?! Since when was Jamaica considered a Mediterranean country?
+ To WHAL Radio: Who decided your collection of "inspirational" gospel music should have the Doug Moreland song "Baja Holiday" - with a line about being "drunk in Mexico?" This makes two times I've heard strange songs like this on your station....
+ To Cascade Hills Church Pastor Bill Purvis: If "the first of the week is set aside for worship" as you said on NBC-38 this weekend - well, why did you add a Saturday evening service? Isn't that the SEVENTH day of the week?
+ To the church congregation I attend: How do you do it? How do you always seem to know which baked dessert I bring for the potluck dinner -- and avoid it?
+ To the Columbus Catfish: It HAD to be humbling Saturday night, huh? Next door at the Civic Center, it was "Denim and Diamonds" -- while Golden Park had no denim and one baseball diamond.
+ To the person who left 58 pennies on one of the Benning Park handball/racquetball courts: Thank you. Does this make me a professional?
BLOG BAFFLER: Today's blog title is borrowed from an old song by WHICH singer? First correct response to the blog wins a prize!
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