BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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25 JUL 03: INTERSECTIONAL CLASHES
Am I the only one who's reaching the conclusion that some intersections in our area are too wide? It's getting to the point where the pickup trucks are three-wide in some turn lanes -- and they all look like they're waiting for someone to wave a green flag.
I used to jokingly call Atlanta the "creative driving capital of the world." But I've seen signs lately that the Columbus area is gaining, especially at intersections. For instance:
+ U.S. 431 in Phenix City, just south of U.S. 280. The Citgo truck stop has so many people turning in and out that the Waffle King next door ought to hand out maps with directions.
I passed through that intersection Thursday afternoon and found three different vehicles in the median, waiting to move. I'm guessing two of them were turning left in opposite directions - and the third was hoping to get hit, for insurance money.
+ 7th and Veterans Parkway. As I waited in the median to turn left recently, another car came up from the rear and turned ahead of me! This isn't exactly how "drafting partners" are supposed to work at the race track.
It turned out that car was going to the same place I was going -- only that driver didn't pull into the parking lot of the Mildred Terry Library. He parked in the driveway, got out and walked in a side door! The man wore some sort of work badge - but I never noticed an emergency in the reference section.
(I resisted the temptation to go inside the library and ask the man about his driving. That place doesn't have much open space, to prevent damage to computers and bookshelves in a brawl.)
+ 18th Avenue and Wynnton Road. Coming upon a wreck in the intersection from the east, I signal to turn left and use Buena Vista Road as a detour. A driver gets annoyed at my waiting for traffic in the other direction to clear - so he crosses
the center line, and drives around my car right in front of paramedics. So he was cutting in line in two different ways....
One of the EMT's was on my side at the intersection. He yelled something at the driver behind me, after that driver honked his horn and before he made the pass. That yell may have saved me from serious bumper damage.
It seems to me some drivers need a refresher course in what to do at intersections. For starters, your turn signal really doesn't change the sound of your car stereo THAT much - so you CAN use it.
Now for some other items of interest, as the weekend approaches:
+ Brian Curran was named the new head coach of the Columbus Cottonmouths - and promised a hockey team "that will not be run out of the building." We hope the team owner was listening to that, and doesn't move them out himself.
(Brian Curran also declared the Cottonmouths will not be "a country-club hockey team." Uh oh -- does that mean Maple Ridge isn't the team's official golf course anymore?)
+ Fort Benning played host to a collegiate competition of flying robots. Boy, did this bring back memories of my youth - but none of the teams talked into a wristwatch, to send their robots to Tokyo to save the world from invading Gargoyles.
+ Brian Sharpe's "Restaurant Report Card" revealed the Fresh Fish Joint on 17th Avenue keeps its refrigerator temperature at around 60 degrees F. Aw, c'mon -- the sign says FRESH fish, doesn't it? Lowering the temperature to 40 might hurt them.
+ A report on WRBL asked the question: "Where's West Nile?" You'll be pleased to know the answer has not changed in recent months -- it's still across the river from East Nile.
(LAUGHLINE RERUN: Please don't be confused about this disease. People who are addicted to "Frasier" reruns have West NILES virus.)
BLOG UPDATE: I received an update Thursday on the Jehovah's Witnesses convention at the Civic Center [18 Jul]. Of course, I received it from two Witnesses knocking on my door without my inviting them.
The two women reported 51 people were baptized during last weekend's Columbus convention -- out of more than 6,000 people who attended. I should have asked them how many visitors walked out in frustration, after being mobbed by people offering literature.
(Isn't Christianity a curious thing? We're supposed to have faith for walking on water - but some say we have to go totally underwater to be baptized.)
Tonight at the Civic Center, there's an "old school" concert featuring the Ohio Players. Hopefully someone has told the Wardogs this group does NOT play arena football.
The Ohio Players concert is a "make-up show," because a performance at Riverfest was cancelled by bad weather. If there's any justice, everyone with a ticket should get a free funnel cake.
PAIN-O-RAMA: Day two of our week-long survey found the number of pain incidents down - from 13 to 10. Maybe I'm not as paranoid as I thought....
COMING SOON: Gang lines are drawn in an unlikely neighborhood.... and the festival season in Columbus officially begins....