BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as
well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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11 JUL 03: SEE NO EVIL?
Before we break some news - first things first. A warm HOME to the first of Fort Benning's Third Brigade soldiers, who came back Thursday night from Iraq! In your honor, we're offering a military appreciation discount - and you can read this blog absolutely free.
(You mean military people actually offer PRAYERS at Army homecoming ceremonies? We thought the American Civil Liberties Union had stopped this sort of thing....)
Now, as we were: The good news for conservatives is, the public access computers at the main Columbus library now have the filters they want. The bad news is, they're filtering out the churches those conservatives attend.
Really! Your blogger discovered Thursday afternoon the Bradley Library's public computers will NOT allow you to call up web sites of church denominations -- or even The Salvation Army's site. Now there's a unique way for the librarians to get even with the Bush administration and the Supreme Court.
The "WebSense" filter displayed this message when we tried to call up the Salvation Army's web site: "The category 'traditional religions' is filtered." What's the reason for this? Is the library afraid Pentecostals are going to start a revival, in the middle of the reference area?
The WebSense filter offered a "ten-minute quota" option if I really, really wanted to check the Salvation Army's web site. I decided NOT to try it - especially since I got burned by a time clock the other night, and "resigned" a tight game of Yahoo Literati.
(For all I knew, clicking the ten-minute quota button might have raised a giant red flag above my terminal, and started a loud clock ticking.)
For the record, the Bradley Library's computer filter also restricts access to web sites about "alcohol and tobacco." No, you may NOT ask which one I was interested in - or why.
I asked the man at the computer check-in desk why "traditional religions" were filtered, and he seemed surprised by it as well. He didn't have an explanation, and suggested I talk to a librarian. I didn't bother -- since the librarian might have quoted the Bible verse about "nothing shall offend them," and trapped me.
So I drove home from the library, barred from checking Christian web sites - and just in time for the July TV ratings month, I learned Jerry Springer's topic on Fox-54 was: "I'm Pregnant By My Brother!" Now THERE'S a place where category filters could come in handy....
Speaking of TV: have you seen the new commercial for Direct Optical Center - where no one says a word for 30 seconds? It leaves me wishing the overweight guys at King Ford had thought of it first.
(Wait a minute - "have you seen the new commercial?" If no one says a thing, you HAVE to see it. You certainly can't HEAR it.)
The Direct Optical Center ad doesn't even have music. It silently shows a woman presenting a message in sign language about laser eye surgery, while words appear on the screen. Excuse us for asking this - but if words are on the screen, do you need the woman signing? Aren't most hearing impaired people able to read?
A friend pointed out to me awhile back that Dr. D.L. Gold of Direct Optical Center wears glasses on TV when he talks about lenses and frames - but does NOT wear them when he talks about laser surgery. Maybe these new ads with sign language mean the doctor's about to start selling hearing aids.
Of course, that brings up another pressing issue when it comes to Direct Optical Center's Dr. D.L. Gold. Some people insist he has no ears! In some commercials, you certainly can't see them. But I really don't believe he keeps those glasses on, by gluing them to his head.
BLOG UPDATE: My latest Georgia Power bill arrived Thursday - and it's under 30 dollars. I feel sorry for you folks in West Point, but all the rain lately has been like pennies from heaven for my budget.
BIG PREDICTION: My Pastor returns this weekend from two weeks at a church youth camp. I predict he'll talk about the U.S. Supreme Court's sodomy decision. The "over and under" time is three minutes. Oh -- and I predict he'll be against it.