BURKARD'S BLOG
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12 JUL 03: ATLANTA OR BUST
"HOMELESS VIETNAM VET" read the man's sign as he sat on a corner outside the Phenix City Wal-Mart Friday afternoon. Well, it wasn't really a sign. Those words were written with a marker on a gray plastic trash can. At least he's an optimistic homeless man -- expecting BIG donations.
It had been three months [16 Apr] since I saw a street-corner beggar in the Columbus area. What a switch from the Atlanta area -- where I seemed to encounter one every three days.
The Homeless Vietnam Vet was on the passenger's side of the corner as I drove by. I thought about stopping to help him, but I had a trunk filled with groceries - and when it's summer in the South, we all know how vital it is to get the ice cream home in a hurry.
A moment of conscience struck me, though, as I rolled down U.S. 280. I decided to drive back to Wal-Mart and help the Homeless Vietnam Vet after I'd taken in the groceries. If the man really is homeless, it's the Christian thing to do. If he's not - it's another great moment in blogging.
The closest parking space to the Homeless Vietnam Vet's corner was the Companion Animal Hospital, on an access road. I decided this was a wise place to park - since they'd have powerful sedatives ready, if the beggar went ballistic.
(I admit I also took a felt-tip marker with me - so if the Homeless Vietnam Vet told me he had a home and never served in Vietnam, I could mark out those details on the trash can on the spot.)
"Sir," I said to get the Homeless Vietnam Vet's attention. He turned left and right, then realized I'd come up behind him. The man said nothing, so I proceeded. "I live in Columbus, and you can stay with me tonight." I figured he might take me up on this offer - especially since, for some strange reason, the weekend rate at Motel 6 is up to 50 dollars.
"Where in Columbus?" the Homeless Vietnam Vet replied to my offer
"First Avenue. Downtown."
"I can't stay in Columbus," the man said turning away - sounding like so many TV and radio personalities who dream of becoming millionaires.
"I'm trying to get to the V.A. Center in Atlanta," the Homeless Vietnam Vet explained. That location was written at the bottom of the sign/trash can. After thinking about it, I wonder why he didn't sneak through a corner of Columbus and beg in Harris County. It's the shorter way....
"Why can't you stay in Columbus?" I asked.
"I was in an altercation with a couple of women there -- and they live around Third, First, Second Streets," the Homeless Vietnam Vet said. So those women are not far from Victory Drive, where they probably could make good money beating up guys night after night.
Before I could bring up the possibility of staying in a shelter, the Homeless Vietnam Vet ruled it out. "Anybody can get into a shelter," he said - so apparently these brawling women disguise themselves as cooks at the Valley Rescue Mission.
It quickly became apparent we were at an impasse. The Homeless Vietnam vet wouldn't stay overnight with me. He wouldn't stay anywhere in Columbus. And I had no plans to suddenly clear out four hours of time, to give him a ride to Atlanta. Even worse, there's NO Phenix City-Hartsfield Airport shuttle service.
I walked away from the Homeless Vietnam Vet, having done all I could to help - and instead of offering a compromise or a thank-you, he wrote something on the top of a styrofoam food box. You don't think he was a performance artist, keeping a blog of his own.... ?!?!
I'll remember the Homeless Vietnam Vet (he never gave his name) not only for his mannerisms, but his long-sleeve white dress shirt. Several things were marked on his shirt in blue felt-tip pen -- including "Kojak's Lounge 1981." If you're looking for work and run out of resumes, simply wear one.
Checking some curiosities, which sit as leftovers at the end of the week:
+ Ameris announced a new top officer for the proposed Phenix City hospital. Frank Schupp, the head of development at Ameris, made the announcement on WRBL wearing a long-sleeve dress shirt, a fancy tie -- and a pair of walking shorts, exposing some wide legs! There ARE appropriate times to interview guests at the anchor desk.
(There's good news for that new top officer - Phenix City Superintendent Tom Hackett's house may be going up for sale.)
+ Mayor Bob Poydasheff told the Ledger-Enquirer he wants to bring the PBS "Antiques Road Show" to Columbus. What a brilliant idea! Russell County residents finally would learn how much those old cars on concrete blocks are worth.
+ We dropped off a church news announcement at the new "Hallelujah 1460" radio station - and the General Sales Manager told us he didn't know Jim Foster at "Solid Gospel 1270" charges $90 for such things. Isn't it wonderful to know the Clear Channel radio stations work together so well?
BIG PREDICTION UPDATE: Boy, was I wrong about my Pastor. He returned to the pulpit this afternoon - and the Supreme Court sodomy decision never came up! Well, the Pastor just returned from a church youth camp. Maybe he didn't want to give the teenagers any ideas.
The only news item my Pastor mentioned was a clip from the Ledger-Enquirer, about a 4-H camp in Virginia. Several camp leaders are accused of staging fights among male campers - then not only charging admission, but betting on the outcome. These camp leaders should be ashamed of themselves, for not selling the idea to Fox for a reality show.
COMING SUNDAY: Faith, boldness, martyrdom and firecrackers....