BURKARD'S BLOG
I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for some six years, as well as my experiences in it.
But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.
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21 JUL 03: A COOL SUMMER WEEKEND
He came home from Iraq to Fort Benning, and was welcomed with a cheering crowd and the Infantry Band. When he walked into our church service over the weekend, he was welcomed by only one person applauding - me. I guess when it comes to religion, I AM a liberal.
A Third Brigade tank commander was away from church for months, while his wife and young child stayed behind. So it seemed strange when "Johnny came marching home" to such a quiet, reserved church welcome -- little more than handshakes. If this group had been told to shout after circling Jericho seven times, it would have needed dozens of
bullhorns.
I half-joked to the tank commander it must be nice to be back in "cooler weather." He agreed -- after you've been in 130-degree F. Iraqi heat, an afternoon of 90 must feel downright refreshing.
So why was my congregation so cool and quiet about the tank commander's return? The reason is rather complicated. The church I attend is against members serving in the military - so I guess you can call his wife a member, while he officially isn't. "Hero soldiers" are just extras and "prospects" to us.
While the church I attend opposes members serving in the military, my Pastor asked our congregation over the months to pray for U.S. success over Iraq. He's also a staunch defender of second-amendment gun ownership rights -- and we all know how that approach has made Iraq such a peaceful place.
I happened to be Worship Leader at the weekend service, and said something I never dreamed I'd be able to announce to a church congregation. "They've come from as far away as Iraq, to worship here today...."
My Pastor has a two-church circuit, and he and his wife walked in the door as we sang a hymn moments before the opening prayer. They went right over to where the tank commander and his family stood -- just as that hymn ended. I blew it two ways: not repeating the first verse, and not stretching the last line out a little longer.
My Pastor DID officially welcome home the tank commander from Iraq - but briefly, as he moved on to other announcements. He didn't ask for congregational applause, because that's a controversial issue in the denomination I attend. The Bible says floods and trees can clap their hands -- but some are offended when people do it.
After the service ended, I overheard the tank commander talking to an older member of the congregation about media coverage of Iraq. The soldier said: "Bad news sells newspapers." Apparently the commander didn't pay attention when my Pastor read an article about how California has become "a sewer" - and seemed to agree with it.
(Oh, before I forget: did I mention the congregation I attend is having an "open house" service in a couple of weeks? Write me if you'd like details - and maybe you'll actually get a warmer welcome.)
By the way: now that the entire Third Brigade officially is back at Fort Benning, is it safe to take down the yellow ribbons? Or do they stay up until the Presidential debate people come back to Columbus, and say we've won?
Let's wrap up some other details from a midsummer weekend:
+ The Census Bureau added Marion County to the official Columbus metropolitan area. It's apparently because hundreds of people drive from Columbus to Marion County for work - thus spreading the wrong pronunciation of "Buena Vista" all over the place.
+ We learned Best Buy is hiring employees for its new store on Manchester Expressway. If only there was an electronic gizmo to move away those huge piles of dirt at the construction site.
+ The NAACP ended its national convention, with NO announcement of an economic boycott of Alabama. Apparently Alabamians celebrated Sunday by flocking to Phenix City convenience stores to buy beer.
+ As we post this edition, Pacelli High School is starting pre-season football work - by holding a practice session at midnight. On any other day of the year, the players would be at confessional for staying up so late.
BIG PREDICTION: OK, it's not local -- but I predict Matthew Broderick will play Ben Curtis, in the movie about Curtis's surprise British Open victory. If Curtis is smart, he'll sell the movie rights to Disney in the next week.