Thursday, July 10, 2003

BURKARD'S BLOG


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10 JUL 03: THE POWER PLAY



"I have a one-person household," the cashier at the Phenix City convenience store told me, "and I work here most of the time. My electric bill is about $125 a month." All we could conclude was that this woman must take the hottest showers in Russell County.



The store cashier lives in Fort Mitchell, and gets her electricity from Tallapoosa River Electric. She's even more frustrated because she says the power company has no office for filing complaints. "All they have is a drop-off box!" Or in her case, it may be more like a "drop DEAD box."



Sure enough, the phone book only has a telephone number in Fort Mitchell for the Tallapoosa River Electric Co-Op. There's no address -- but then again, it's Fort Mitchell. Do people NEED an address there, when everything and everybody in town are just a couple of blocks down the street?



The Tallapoosa River Electric Cooperative's web site brags about how convenient its drop-off boxes are in several area counties. It leaves you wondering if electric line workers are allowed to drop off their time sheets every week, and never show up on the job.



The cashier made her comment during a conversation with a Phenix City police officer. That officer talked about visiting one of the fanciest homes in town, and seeing a notice that Alabama Power was disconnecting service for lack of payment. If only utilities were willing to refinance loans, the way mortgage offices do.



The convenience store cashier doesn't have any choice when it comes to electric service in Fort Mitchell. Of course, that's true almost everywhere. In Columbus, it's either Georgia Power on Veterans Parkway -- or The Kandle Shoppe on Moon Road.



We shouldn't be surprised to see electric rates go up at this time of year. In fact, I used to stun the staff at College Park City Hall when I paid July and August municipal power bills in the 20-dollar range. If only they knew how much I was sweating, in a duplex with floor fans and no air conditioning.



As it happens, Alabama Natural Gas revealed Wednesday it increased rates back in March. But Alagasco claims customers won't really notice the increase until next winter. We didn't realize that many Alabamians cook outside with charcoal grills all summer.



Local utilities are trying other approaches to get more of your money. I received a letter from Atmos Energy this week, inviting me to join an auto club. Yet for some strange reason, there's no discount for driving a natural gas vehicle.



If I join this auto club, "my membership dues of $7.99 per month will be conveniently charged to my Atmos Energy account." And even more amazingly, the club promises NO added fee if I cut off service. This is a brilliant idea! Why don't the club leaders suggest that to Atmos?



Speaking of autos, here's some of what we found while making a steamy Wednesday afternoon drive around the area:



+ Before we even hopped in the car, a Georgia corrections officer walked by our apartment complex - as three apparent inmates walked down First Avenue. Do you really think we need to train new Historic District tour guides?



+ We stopped by the Phenix City library -- and for the record, we found NO Spanish-language magazines in the racks. [7 Jul] But you'll be relieved to know the shelves have plenty of Lewis Grizzard books, so newcomers can learn to speak Southern.



+ What ARE those huge piles of dirt doing outside the "Best Buy" store construction site on Manchester Expressway? Do we have to guess which one has Kadie the Cow buried underneath it?



+ Memo to Cissy Doll: Your face is peeling badly. Well, at least your face on the billboard along I-185, at Farr Road....



BLOG UPDATE: The new two-year contract for the South Georgia Waves to play at Golden Park was announced officially Wednesday. City Manager Carmen Cavezza told area baseball fans: "The ball is now in our court." Hopefully someone reminded him that's a TENNIS analogy, not baseball.



The South Georgia Waves hope to turn their attendance problem around quickly. For starters, the team has hired a new General Manager from Memphis. So at least the "Flying Elvises" will be coming back....



SONG OF THE DAY: In light of the Food and Drug Administration's announcement Wednesday that nutrition labels will change, we offer this calorie-free number - to the tune of "O Come, O Come Immanuel:"



They're in your cookies and your chips of corn.


You've likely eaten them since you were born.


But now a crackdown by the F.D.A.


Means you'll be warned, and they'll be on display.


Transfats! Transfats!


They are not good for you!


So read the labels, or you'll soon be through.



COMING FRIDAY:The quietest surprise to hit Columbus in some time....



© 2003 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.