Friday, July 04, 2003

BURKARD'S BLOG



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4 JUL 03: THE FIRTH OF FOURTH



As I stood in line at a Spectrum store Thursday afternoon, two female employees discussed eating out. One told the other: "If you say chicken, I'll hit you up-side of the head, because I'm tired of chicken." Yes sir, that's what this holiday is all about - freedom.



We wish you a safe and joyous Fourth of July. Or as they call it at Russell County fireworks stands - the eve of the half-price sale.



My landlord gave me this helpful holiday reminder the other day, which I pass on to you: "Don't have a fifth on the Fourth." Well, OK - I'll stop at four hot dogs.



A sign outside Glenn Anthony Baptist Church at 39th and Veterans Parkway seems rather odd: "Declarations of DEPENDENCE." If I go there this Sunday, is every member going to admit he's addicted to something?



But think about it -- have you noticed how seldom people call this holiday "Independence Day?" Perhaps it's because we don't really feel that independent in this country. If you think you are, try driving to work without any gasoline in your tank.



(Come to think of it, the last person to make a big deal out of calling it "Independence Day" was Will Smith - in that movie.)



An example of U.S. freedom came to my door Thursday morning. An older couple was there to talk about home Bible studies, and offer Jehovah's Witnesses tracts. I took a tract in the spirit of "freedom of religion" - instead of slamming the door or telling them off, which would be freedom FROM it.



Then there's freedom of speech - apparently in whatever language you wish. "Ritmo Latino Radio" moved to television Thursday night, debuting on TV-16. But something seemed odd about it - because Mimi Woodson wasn't hosting the show, like Richard Smith and Ed Harbison do theirs.



It's certainly a day for doing patriotic things. I already have three big "all-American" items on my schedule. A trip to the laundromat in the morning - then turning on Spanish-language dance music on AM-1270 in the afternoon, and watching tennis on TV from Wimbledon, England.



Have you seen the patriotic-looking shopping center under construction near Fort Benning's main gate? The "Torch Hill Center" is painted red, white and blue - complete with stars near the roof. What I fear is that store owners will force every customer to stand outside, and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.



The Columbus area has several Independence Day traditions. The biggest probably is "Thunder on the Hooch" downtown. This year, you're invited to bring all the buckets you can - and take some of the Chattahoochee home with you.



(So you don't get confused: the new Veterans Parkway bridge is NOT a Thunder on the Hooch ride.)



For a change, there are no fireworks at Golden Park this holiday - and there weren't even any Thursday night. For one thing, the South Georgia Waves are on a weekend road trip. For another thing, do you really think this team can afford fireworks? It can barely afford to tell people it's in town.



Thursday seemed like a holiday, as I drove around Columbus. The biggest crowd I saw was at the new Old Navy store at Columbus Park Crossing. I'm amazed that a store with "Navy" in its name is doing so well in an Army town.



I was shopping for something else, but a ten-dollar sale on Old Navy sport shirts was too good to pass up - even with a doubled-up line of people checking out. Maybe these people think sooner or later, Morgan Fairchild actually will show up.



Several Park Crossing businesses missed opening in time for Independence Day. The "A.C. Moore" arts and crafts shop has its grand opening Saturday. I passed several people outside the store, sitting and talking on the sidewalk. Either these were employees taking a break - or more people are desperate for wicker baskets than I've ever realized.



Just across the parking lot, "Smokey Bones Bar-B-Q" has posted an opening date of July 29. We're glad this date is on public display - so passers-by know when they no longer have to call the fire department at the sight of smoke.