3 MAR 08: IT'S ANYBODY'S GUESS

The visiting Christian minister had just finished a message on "Arab Muslims and Terrorism in Prophecy." If anyone outside the U.S. is reading this, don't worry - the speaker did NOT display any cartoons of Muhammad.

As the preacher asked everyone to stand for a final hymn, a man I'd never met before turned to me. "And who's running for President? Obama!" Uh-oh. Another church-going man who thinks two and two always equals four. That doesn't usually work in politics - for instance, due to deficit spending.

I knew right away where this man's thought pattern was leading. "He's not Muslim."

"He's not?"

"He's a member of the United Church of Christ." I doubt the man had heard of that denomination before -- and now he might think Barack Obama is part of some mysterious Asian cult.

"Just because his middle name is Hussein does NOT mean he's Muslim," I continued. This is where it helps to pay attention to the Presidential race over more than a couple of weeks -- even before Super Tuesday.

For several weeks people spread bogus e-mails suggesting Barack Obama was Muslim, based in part on his middle name -- claims the candidate openly has denied. Which is curious, because no one seemed to spread e-mails suggesting Mitt Romney's first name made him a baseball catcher.

This church conversation occurred several days before that radio talk show host in Cincinnati made national news, for continually calling the candidate "Barack Hussein Obama." Some conservatives seem to think that middle name reveals something deep and sinister about the man - yet they seem to have no problem with a radio talk show host named Michael Savage.

"Name games" have been played in Presidential politics for a long time. I'm old enough to remember when Democrats made fun of Richard Nixon's running mate, and called him "Spiro Who?" Spiro Agnew is dead now, so he can't file suit over that TV comedy called "Samantha Who?"

But have you noticed no one has brought up the middle names of the OTHER Presidential candidates? And could you even name them? No, Hillary Rodham Clinton doesn't count - because that's a maiden name.

Some people have wondered why TV networks called her "Hillary Rodham Clinton" throughout her husband's Presidency. Take it from someone who worked at CNN Center for part of those years - it was because that's what she wanted to be called. Someone asked her. Yes, someone in the news media actually was courteous enough to do that.

Based on this, I've reached a conclusion about the people insist on calling the candidate from Illinois "Barack Hussein Obama." They don't like the guy. I think this discovery qualifies me to be a panelist on a Sunday morning talk show....

But here's a further conclusion I've reached: the people who insist on using Barack Obama's middle name don't really care about what Mr. Obama wants to be called. Is this compassionate conservatism - as in showing concern for the person you're talking about? Or is it a case of caring only for "your own," because no one else will?

Some Republicans even turn this conspiratorial thinking on each other. Take the phone call I had from a woman the other morning. She was complaining about how all the TV newscasts seem to talking about nothing but "Clinton and Obama." I pointed out how the night before, every network newscast began with John McCain - with that New York Times article hinting at an inappropriate affair.

"Yeah, but that's negative," the woman answered. As if the Democrats have been asking voters to choose someone else, and not themselves....

Since I brought up that New York Times article, the woman called that story "a no-brainer." She had to explain that statement to me. "Mitt Romney did it." Ohhhh - Romney suspended his campaign, so he could step in as Republican nominee after destroying John McCain with rumors and innuendos. It makes you wish the ouster of Saddam Hussein had been accomplished the same way.

Lest anyone get wrong ideas: There's NO evidence Mitt Romney spread those rumors about John McCain and the good-looking lobbyist. For one thing, McCain's middle name is not "Clinton."

We aren't mentioning all of this to endorse any person or party for President. Instead, we're endorsing something else - not making negative claims about candidates unless you have strong evidence to back them up. Spur-of-the-moment theories don't count. Those theories can lead to baseless rumors - and before you know it, hundreds of students will stay home from local high schools.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for another round of Little League pitch-and-catch. These days, the Pioneer defenders are tossing back the criticism....

richard,

Pioneer has had 2 state champions the past 2 years. they are defending state champions in the 9-10 girls softball division. money raised is put back towards the kids or for improvements on the fields. the city is on a tight budget(or so we have been told) therefore we have to foot the bill for many if not all improvements at our fields. we(and that includes me) need to remember that politics are a part of life, these kids don't care who is president of the league(or the U.S for that matter) all they want to do is play ball and run around the fields with their friends. as for the ron harris subject, i personally do not like the fact that he is being investigated or indicted for any type charges against children but the board of pioneer did everything that is outlined by L.L. headquarters to try and keep these kids safe. i personally know that every member on the board had a background check and every manager has also been checked because i did the checks through the L.L. choicepoint background checker myself. the uniform issue should not be an issue this year. every team was told they had a max of $75 to spend on their uniforms and they could go wherever they felt like but not to go over that amount. they were told that bo [Weaver] had different packages but they did not h ave to use him if they didnt want to. i have been around L.L. since i was 7, played for some of the best coaches that columbus has had(one being Mr. Gene Watson) he made us do things then that parents nowadays would have a fit over. he made us say yes/no sir, learn the L.L. pledge, learn the lords prayer and recite both before every game. all L.L. has gotten away from its roots THE KIDS, not the parents but the kids. i am personally inviting you to our opening day ceremony on march 15 at 9am so you can see for yourself that pioneer is not as bad as these people make it out to be. thank you.

Our thanks to this writer for the invitation - but I'll have to send regrets. It's a religious thing, not a personal thing. And I wouldn't want to be a distraction to the children, should some irate board member try to throw me over a fence.

There's no doubt to me that the city of Columbus is on a tight budget. Community forums begin tonight, on the mayor's proposed one-cent "roads and safety" sales tax. Little League parents will have to show up, and demand some of the officers be deployed at tournaments - to keep peace between parents.

There's one part of this e-mail which shocks me - but it's NOT the children learning to say the "Lord's Prayer." After all, former Pioneer Little League Philip Miley told us last year he had team prayers before games [24 Jun 07]. This may explain why no one talks about the high-quality baseball program at public grade schools such as Double Churches.

The stunning claim here is that Little League children don't care who is the President of the United States. Why, I'm shocked - SHOCKED! Maybe our candidates should give them a reason to care. Are they for or against human growth hormones?

Now for sports and a little bit more, from the Sunday news reports....

+ Columbus Regional announced it has finalized its takeover of Doctors Hospital. Executives say with less competition, health care costs will be contained. You've noticed how well that works in the oil industry, right?

+ WRBL reported on a letter from the Hurtsboro Water Board, admitting no tests were performed on the town's drinking water last July. Apparently no residents noticed, because they were too busy watching for the missing city garbage truck.

+ WXTX "News at Ten" followed the Columbus Cottonmouths on a recent road trip to Knoxville. Some of the players warmed up for the game by kicking around a basketball. Talk about being focused on hockey - they don't know what a real soccer ball looks like?!

(The Cottonmouths won that game at Knoxville - and afterward, Coach Jerome Bechard was shown shaking every player's hand. This admittedly looked weird to me. I mean, the players rub each other's heads after goals all the time....)

+ The NFCA Leadoff Classic concluded at South Commons. WRBL revealed the team from California-Santa Barbara wanted the full Columbus experience - so it had a meal at Waffle House. The lesson here is obvious: Country's Barbecue needs to start a Sunday breakfast or brunch menu.

+ The Atlanta Falcons signed San Diego backup running back Michael Turner. This is a critical decision for the team. Turner played behind LaDainian Tomlinson for years. If Turner learned even half of Tomlinson's moves.... and if Byron Leftwich can give Turner the ball without being sacked first....

+ Louisiana State stopped Georgia in men's college basketball 71-64. The TV announcers claimed the game between last-place teams with losing records showed "how strong this league is." Aw, c'mon - it only proved those teams are equally mediocre, and could be crushed by Tennessee.

(Georgia senior Sundiata Gaines was thrown out of the game, after appearing to punch an L.S.U. player on the floor - then showing an official how a player cut open his lip. If there's one thing you don't do in college sports, it's give the officials some lip.)

+ Instant Message to Manchester High School ladies' basketball coach Ashley Powell: I never knew! Thank you for changing the team nickname from "Lady Devils" to "Lady Angels." You're probably now welcome at every church in town - at least until someone points out that in the Bible, demons are simply angels that fell.

COMING THIS WEEK: My connection to a man who appeared on "Dateline NBC" Sunday night....

This blog has thousands of visits every month, from Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 719 (- 57, 7.3%, record low)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-08 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.