The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

31 MAR 06: THAT'S LIFE?

I'd forgotten Thursday was a momentous anniversary for our country, until TV news programs mentioned it. It's been 25 years since then-President Reagan was shot in Washington. He survived and lasted two terms in office. John Hinckley survives to this day -- proving U.S. residents are not as harsh as some Afghan Muslims.

Where was I on 30 Mar 81, when Ronald Reagan was shot? On my own version of a racquetball court -- the driveway of the duplex where I lived. It was a mild Monday in metro Kansas City, and I was whacking the ball against the back brick wall. I wonder if the ball markings are still on the second-floor wood shingles above it....

I was working in radio news in 1981 for KJLA-AM - a Kansas City station that changed from disco music to "Top 40" to mostly-oldies in about a year's time. Yes, this was an era when most AM radio stations actually played music.

In March 1981 I had been at KJLA ten months. In fact, I was the entire news department at the time -- working a split morning/afternoon shift while the bosses searched for a second person. So you might say I was on my four-hour lunch break.

My duplex had a phone in the basement/garage area -- so I was near the phone when it rang. "The President's been shot," said the station Program Director on the phone. I didn't know then that a wacko had interrupted my whacking.

I hurried into my used clunky Karmann-Ghia and drove to the radio station. Listening to my competition on the way, WHB-AM offered an update on the President's condition - then midday announcer J.J. Stone played "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra. If the phrase "what was he thinking" had been around then, I would have said it.

Walking into the newsroom, I heard the Program Director making a rare on-air appearance. "We now know the name of the suspect," Ken Edwards ad-libbed. "The man, if you want to call him that, is John Hinckley Junior." This was 1981, remember -- long before "The O'Reilly Factor" made that sort of newscast popular.

"I'm not used to doing news," Ken Edwards admitted to me after broadcasting the news bulletin. He wasn't used to a lot of things, as it turned out. As a native of San Diego, we actually had to explain to him why tornado warnings mattered in Kansas City.

Things went smoothly after I stepped in and did the station's news coverage on that day. In fact, I remember what everyone else did on the air more than the things I did. I mean, the management didn't lay me off until six months later....

The only thing I recall of my newscast during the Reagan shooting was a last-second adjustment I did to a short sports story. The National Basketball Association announced a free throw rule change - and in the nick of time, I stopped short of saying, "Three-to-make-two is dead."

The NCAA basketball final (men only in 1981) went on as scheduled, that Monday night. That caused controversy among some reporters, who felt it should have been postponed in respect to the President. But since Kansas didn't play, I really didn't care either way....

The shooting of the President only added to a year of momentous events. The Iran hostages were freed in January. Pope John Paul II was shot a few weeks later. Then the skywalks at the Kansas City Hyatt Regency collapsed that summer -- a story I covered in person. No wonder I don't hear anyone calling 1981 the "good old days."

E-MAIL UPDATE: Enough about me -- let's get to you. We've had plenty of e-mail at the blog lately, so let's do some spring cleaning and bring it all out in the next few days. We start with a blogging buddy in Ohio who's admittedly "confused" about what's happening in West Point:

I'm following your posts on the proposed Kia plant and don't understand the problem. Isn't the plant a good thing? You always hear people complain that our nation's manufacturing base is going overseas and that there is a shortage here. So Kia is bringing those exact kind of jobs here and people are complaining? Bizarre!

Being from the other Columbus I'm not familiar with all the areas you mention. Is this plant being put next to million dollar homes or something?

Buckblog

No, Buck, I don't think the complainers are living in million-dollar homes. In fact, I'm not sure you could get a million dollars for one of West Point's closed mills anymore....

I've heard several theories about the "Kia Komplainers" in this area. Some of them seem concerned about a South Korean company becoming so dominant in this part of the U.S. Others think the complainers really wanted their homes bought out, too - and Spectrum won't offer nearly as much money for a convenience store.

On top of that, Thursday's Montgomery Advertiser reported next week's big meeting with parts suppliers in South Korea has been postponed by Hyundai. The company is accused of creating a slush fund there, to influence politicians. So Georgia didn't have to offer incentives -- Kia could have offered its own.

Some Kia critics went to LaGrange Thursday night, for a meeting on planned adjustments to Interstate 85. But it turned out the Georgia Department of Transportation was there NOT to talk about the plant, but the impact of base realignment at Fort Benning. Are the Humvees THAT much wider than auto haulers?

Next on the e-mail stack, a comment on that new "first-class hotel" heading for Whittlesey Boulevard [29 Mar]:

> By the way, did you notice "The Prestige Group" which is investing 15 million dollars in Homewood Suites includes Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis? If his project is being praised by Mayor Poydasheff on TV, I guess it's time to strike Davis from the list of potential election challengers.

Glenn Davis is also one of the owners of Cascade Hospitality, LLP - which opened the Hilton Garden Inn at Brookstone Centre on July 2nd, 2004.... Hilton Garden Inn, and Homewood Suites are both Hilton Hotels. These two developments could be under Mr. Davis' company, Cascade Hospitality, LLP.

There is also an economy-priced hotel opening off Williams Road (next to Country Inn & Suites) next year - Microtel Inn (rates starting at $40/night)....

Just a few thoughs.

--amyers

Thanks, A. I guess I missed the announcement about that hotel on Williams Road. Maybe the Chamber of Commerce decided to Microtel the media about it.

(Boy, am I ever out of touch! I thought a "Microtel" was one of those wireless phones people put in shirt pockets.)

Since Councilor Glenn Davis co-owns the Hilton Garden Inn, now I'm wondering what he thought when Mayor Bob Poydasheff said Columbus lacks a "first-class hotel." What's lacking at the Hilton Garden Inn -- the city government cable channel, maybe?

We're taking the e-mails in order, and next comes a message about something we haven't even discussed here:

In [Wednesday's] paper to quote Mr. [Hal] Kirven,"What needs to be implemented is more programs like Columbus High offers in which failure to achieve a passing level means you lose your opportunity to benefit from the program."...Does Mr Kirven realize that Columbus HIgh puts out students who do not make the grade,even after all the extra credit work is completed..What an advantage to a school's rating,if the student fails put him out.The other high schools in Columbus are over crowded,but CHS can put kids? If CHS did not get one of the best high schools in the state some thing would be seriously wrong..Wow,what an opportunity to go to a pvt.school on public money.

OK, I'll take the first guess - you went to Hardaway High?!

I haven't checked the context of Hal Kirven's letter to the Ledger-Enquirer, but our writer may not realize something. Failure to pass at ANY school can cost you benefits. It's called dropping out, and working in low-income jobs.

Has the Muscogee County School District really created a "private school on public money" in Columbus High? I'm not so sure about that. After all, only the baseball and wrestling teams consistently contend for state titles....

I suppose you could argue all magnet schools act like private schools to some degree, because students with special interests receive top priority. Add to that the incoming Muscogee County School dress code, and Brookstone might file a lawsuit claiming plagiarism.

Another e-mailer is in a mood to vent, and seeing red....

Tonight [Wednesday] on WRBL City Manager Issiah Hugley told News 3 that the reason people in Columbus run red lights is because the old lights are not bright enough so people don't see them change...........No you putz! People run red lights because there are not enough cops on the force to enforce all the laws in this little town. People run red lights because they are a) in a hurry; b) too stupid to realize they are risking lives; and c) because they know they won't be caught. Almost everyday I see people, multiple cars at once!, run the light. I've seen accidents caused by red light runners. I've even seen police on multiple occasions witness light runners and do nothing about it.

The city manager needs to get his head out of the sand (or wherever he keeps it) to see what goes on around him. You want people to stop running lights? Enforce the law ALL the time. And here's an idea: instead of buying the new LED lights, take that money and spend it on more cameras. As I understand it,
the city has bought cameras, but only for a few intersections. Just like government to put a bandage on things.

AR

So let me get this straight, AR - it's not the old lights which are not bright enough. It's the old drivers....

I've seen the same sort of thing AR has seen at traffic lights. The other evening a driver clearly missed the yellow light on Veterans Parkway - and I honked at him as he sped by. Perhaps my horn woke him up. Besides, if he was in a big hurry, he wouldn't have time to turn around and bump my car.

But really now - does ANY city have enough officers to enforce all its laws? Even little Hurtsboro can't seem to stop those allegedly roaming gangs. It's a wonder they've failed so far to burn down the entire town.

AR may not know the "traffic cameras" Columbus is installing are NOT set up to catch red light runners. At least that's what city officials say. If the crowd at Recorder's Court suddenly doubles in size, I guess we'll know better.

The cameras being set up downtown supposedly are designed to help with traffic flow. Maybe they'll spur a return of radio traffic reports - which only seem to happen now when a caller to WRCG's "Talkline" interrupts a discussion on Al
Sharpton.

Our last e-mail for today responds to our Thursday note about a big building when could get a new name:

> Columbus Civic Center manager Dale Hester confirmed to WRBL he's trying to sell the arena's name to bring in extra money. Remember, your PayPal donations to us can make this possible - and provide events for the "Columbus City Blogatorium."

A little more information about the renaming of the Civic Center. It could be the Blogatorium for a sweet $600,000+

Thanks for the tip - but yeow, $600,000? And the deadline to submit a bid is TODAY?! For that price, I want more than the name of the building - I want at least a section of seats.

If $600,000 is the target price for naming the Civic Center, I can think of only one local company which could afford to pay it. The "AFLAC Arena" is a nice-sounding name - but if they dare put a giant inflatable duck in front of the U.S. flag, forget it.

But then again, $600,000 might be a bargain for the Civic Center. Kia is spending more than one billion dollars in West Point, and all it's getting so far is a boulevard.

We thank all of you who write us - and now let's see if Thursday's headlines inspire you further:

+ Which unusual traveler rode a motorized wheelchair down Interstate 85 through Lee County? I'm told police stopped the guy, yet they let him pitch a tent along the interstate overnight and keep going. The Department of Veterans Affairs simply MUST open more clinics....

+ Flags at the Government Center and Public Safety Center flew at half-staff. I'm told it's in memory of former Defense Secretary Casper Weinberger. I appreciate the show of sympathy - but what does he have to do with Columbus? Which city councilor's campaign fund did he help?

+ Former police officer Charles Weaver announced he'll run for Nathan Suber's Columbus Council seat. Weaver told WRBL he wants "to focus on our schools." That's funny - I thought there was a School Board election this year, too.

(A former police officer runs for Columbus Council, and the first words out of his mouth are about improving schools? Somewhere "Is Our City Safe" must have thrown his computer keyboard halfway across the room.)

+ Law officers from across Georgia gathered at Kendrick High School, to teach students the important of safe driving. It's nice to see that at least a FEW police departments in the state are at full staff, and have extra people to lend to us....

+ The final day of the Georgia Legislature's session featured a debate of more than one hour, over whether to have license plates promoting abortion rights. They would counter the "Choose Life" tags - yet somehow I doubt the other ones would say, "Choose to Abort."

COMING THIS WEEKEND: E-mail about Waffle House.... and a spam lightning round....

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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30 MAR 06: P.G.-FORCE

Things have been quiet at the Columbus Public Library lately. Maybe a little too quiet. Away from the reference section and all those books, I mean....

A new issue has surfaced at the Columbus Public Library -- and it involves the free movies shown from time to time. A committee of the Library Board is considering whether to check viewers' ages, for movies not rated G. You know, the way real movie theaters do -- well, every once in a while.

You may not realize last year's Saturday night "movies under the stars" outside the library included a couple of PG-rated films. Movie industry guidelines say young children should NOT see them without an adult. As if that's stopping DVD rentals at Blockbuster....

The Columbus Public Library shows several movie series indoors throughout the year, in its auditorium. Or as some people on Rigdon Road are starting to call it: the Columbus Square 1.

A legal counsel for the Muscogee County Library Board suggests age restrictions be enforced for movies with ratings other than G. I recall hearing or reading a complaint somewhere about this, involving a movie series for teens. But at least the movie gets them away from steamy web sites....

Perhaps the Muscogee County Library Board's attorney is fearing a lawsuit, over not checking ages at "mature" movies. He may be trying to get this rule in place before Fred Phelps's congregation in Kansas finds something new to march about.

But Library Board committee members note the ratings issued by the movie industry are guidelines only. They are NOT the law. So if theater ushers come home at night with loaded pockets, the money wasn't under the seats - those were (ahem) tips.

Some Library Board members say for most library activities, you're considered an adult at 18. But for movies in theaters, the boundary line tends to be 17. And Georgia is such an advanced state, some middle-aged women marry boys who are 16.

Library directors add it's becoming harder and harder to find G-rated movies to show. And let's face it: you can have only so many "March of the Penguins" marathons....

So should "legal ID" be required for young people to watch library movies? I would suggest checking local high schools, to see what kinds of movies are shown there now. The sex education films might be worth at least an R rating.

One of my high school English classes watched feature-length films such as "East of Eden" and "The Manchurian Candidate." We never were quizzed about those movies, either -- leading me to think the teacher had run out of good books to recommend.

I can see why the Library Board's attorney is recommending a screening process for movies. After all, a parent might complain about the content of something their child sees -- and police only tend to enforce city lewdness rules at Civic Center concerts.

BLOG UPDATE: If you clicked on our Wednesday link for the Myspace area showing Roszell Gadson, you may have been disappointed. The page with a bogus profile of the WXTX news anchor vanished from cyberspace Wednesday. Perhaps the creator plans a one-day-only tribute to Phil Scoggins next.

The bogus biography about Roszell Gadson contained some poor grammar, which could have bordered on racial stereotyping. But when we double-checked Myspace.com at post time Wednesday, the page had been changed to say everything was "a joke." Online versions of Rich Little don't always work as well.

If the creator of the Myspace page thought it was all a joke, Roszell Gadson did not. Gadson told your blog Wednesday he called the U.S. Attorney's office to make a complaint about it. I'm not sure what prosecutors can do - since they still haven't found enough evidence to indict the shooter of Kenneth Walker.

Now other fast facts from a warm Wednesday:

+ Columbus Civic Center manager Dale Hester confirmed to WRBL he's trying to sell the arena's name to bring in extra money. Remember, your PayPal donations to us can make this possible - and provide events for the "Columbus City Blogatorium."

+ The National Urban League issued a report on the African-American community nationwide, and found it economically lacking. Yet Columbus President Reginald Pugh said this area is "better than the national average" - and if you elect him to the State Senate, he'll gladly be an example.

+ Descendants of LaFayette native Joe Louis said when the boxing legend was nine years old, a milk cow kicked him - and he slugged the cow in response, breaking three of its ribs. And you thought "cow punching" started in the old West....

+ Speaking of fighting, Georgia Rep. Cynthia McKinney reportedly struck a U.S. Capitol police officer at a House office building. It must be an election year - because she's changing that "peace-nik" image.

+ Instant Message to Ruth Ann's Restaurant downtown: Thank you for posting on your sign when the Columbus Catfish have their home opener. The Catfish don't seem to be revealing that information in many other places.

COMING FRIDAY: E-mail about a high school, hotels and more....

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and maybe put our name on the Civic Center! To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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29 MAR 06: THE SECOND CITY

Really now, Mr. Mayor - did you say what we think you said Tuesday? That Columbus is lacking in first-class hotels? We might expect you to say that about airline seats, but not that....

The occasion was a Columbus Chamber of Commerce economic announcement - one of those events where the Chamber doesn't tell reporters what the news is until they show up. What would happen if the reporters stayed away? Would they miss a new business owner ripping up the contract in disgust, and driving away?

But anyway: the Columbus Chamber of Commerce announced Tuesday a new "extended stay hotel" will open near Columbus Park Crossing next year. In law enforcement, I believe an "extended stay hotel" refers to the state prison system.

Homewood Suites will open a hotel with about 90 rooms on Whittlesey Boulevard, across the street from Ken Thomas Acura/BMW. Why is an extended stay hotel going there? Is it going to take THAT long to fill out the paperwork on a five-year lease?

But it was Mayor Bob Poydasheff's comment about Homewood Suites which grabbed our attention: "This is what we've been lacking in Columbus, quite candidly, something that's first class...." The Mayor's office at the Government Center
must not have a window facing the downtown Marriott.

I've never stayed overnight at the Marriott Hotel downtown, but the lobby area seems very nice to me. I've eaten at Houlihan's restaurant and enjoyed that as well. But are they "first-class?" For some of us who settle for Motel 6 and McDonald's on road trips, they probably would be....

(Do you think Mayor Poydasheff was making a subtle religious statement here? Maybe the Marriott isn't "first class" because the chain puts copies of the Book of Mormon in all the rooms.)

Maybe it's the extended stay concept which makes the new hotel "first class" in the mayor's eyes. But there's an "Extended Stay America" on Armour Road - and even Amerisuites, just across J.R. Allen Parkway from where Homewood Suites will be. Maybe their free breakfast is nothing but little cereal boxes.

Perhaps Mayor Poydasheff simply was caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, when he suggested Columbus has no first-class hotels. But hopefully he won't be surprised, if some hotels turn him down for election night parties....

By the way, did you notice "The Prestige Group" which is investing 15 million dollars in Homewood Suites includes Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis? If his project is being praised by Mayor Poydasheff on TV, I guess it's time to strike Davis from the list of potential election challengers.

BLOG UPDATE: New development is NOT pleasing everyone in West Point. Tuesday brought word of a semi-organized group which seems to oppose the new Kia plant. Has someone made it clear to these people - Kia is based in SOUTH Korea?

Some people in the Gray Hill community near West Point had a meeting last Friday night, to vent their frustrations with the Kia deal. They complained no signs have been posted yet to rezone land for the auto plant. If they were, of course, they might complain again about what an eyesore the signs are.

Jim Gilmore is a spokesman/critic for the Gray Hill group. He says he's heard nothing but negative comments about Kia from neighbors -- and some neighbors have such nightmares about it that their stomachs are churning. I thought Kia was making cars, not launching rocket ships to other planets.

The people of Gray Hill explain they moved to rural Troup County for peace and quiet, away from the noise of big cities. Now Kia's billion-dollar factory is coming - and the residents apparently are convinced the cars will have muffler problems.

The rural residents also seem concerned that West Point might annex their homes. Are they really surprised by this? If West Point grows any farther west, it'll become East Lanett, Alabama....

Speculation also is swirling around Gray Hill that once construction begins on the Kia plant, neighborhood water wells will become polluted or dry up. But perhaps a compromise can be worked out here - to let Gray Hill residents have free car washes on the assembly line.

Some West Point city officials chalk up the Gray Hill grumbling to people simply afraid of change. I have another theory about this, which no reporter seems to have brought up. Are all these complainers driving U.S.-made Fords and Chevys?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Some messages to us can be probing and pointed:

As a longtime blog reader, please answer me this: Why do you never mention WTVM? You constantly mention WRBL in your blog by name, but you when a WTVM story hits your blog it's referred to "a story on the evening news". The other day you stuck your neck out and even mentioned "the biggest Columbus TV station"....wonder who that is? What do you have against WTVM? This reader demands an answer!

There could be many possible explanations for this question. For instance: ignore something long enough and it goes away -- but that doesn't seem to work with illegal immigrants.

OK, I'll confess -- this observant reader has outed me. Your blog admittedly has faced some pressure over the years not to mention, uh, er, that station between channels 8 and 10. It's nothing I have against it -- it's really what it has against me.

The source of the pressure concerning, uh, er, that station formerly owned by AFLAC actually doesn't mind if we mention WRBL a lot. After all, its viewership tends to be so small that any publicity is probably better than none at all.

. As for that reference to the "biggest Columbus TV station" [21 Mar] - we actually used the plural "stations," and included WRBL as well as that, uh, er, other one. Both of them had severe weather coverage last week, while WLTZ's staff probably was asking if it was a "Deal or No Deal."

Speaking of TV stations -- which local wise guy has created a Myspace.com page about WXTX "News at Ten" anchor Roszell Gadson? I'm told Gadson didn't do it. Is this the next scurrilous trend to hit this web site - creating bogus biographies, then demanding ransom to take them down?

Now if I may be allowed to stop squirming, we'll finish with some other items from Tuesday's news:

+ The Columbus Public Library hosted a public forum on immigration reform. Councilor Mimi Woodson told (yes) WRBL a crackdown on illegal immigrants will lead to "innocent people in jail and criminals on our streets." Is she sure about that? Can't the criminals take the jobs that illegals are working now?

+ Another new restaurant opened on Broadway. This one is called Rhino's, next to the Bradley Theater. I will resist the obvious borderline joke here - because the encyclopedia shows a rhinoceros really is NOT horny.

(Meanwhile, I didn't know until the other day that Crystal River Seafood on Manchester Expressway had closed. Apparently it competed in a duel to the death with B. Merrill's - and Logan's Roadhouse counted out both of them.)

+ Huntsville handled Columbus 3-2, to eliminate the Cottonmouths from the S.P.H.L..playoffs. Coach Jerome Bechard now faces a big decision - does he punish his players by ordering them to keep the mohawk haircuts throughout the off-season?

(You realize, of course, the end of the Cottonmouths season officially means spring has come to Columbus. The idea of waiting azaleas to bloom at Callaway Gardens is SO 1980's....)

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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28 MAR 06: SPEAK UP!

We take our title from the name of a daily five-minute editorial, which appeared on Kansas City television about 40 years ago. Jim Monroe sat at a desk and read the opinion of the day. Much has changed since then, of course. Nowadays, Al Fleming of NBC-38 doesn't use a desk.

Several items have me thinking about speaking up today. Let's start at Columbus Council, which could vote today on putting a "protest-free zone" around all funerals. This sounds difficult right from the start. If the minister tries to preach the leader of a murderous drug gang up to heaven, how do you stop him?

The proposal before Columbus Council would put a 300-foot ring around funerals. No one could hold protest signs or use abusive language inside that ring during a service -- which opens the door for the scheduling of mass funerals outside the Fort Benning gate on S.O.A. Watch weekend.

(I hope Columbus Council doesn't get its proposals mixed up today - and vote to bar protests within 100 yards of a fire lane.)

Mayor Bob Poydasheff told WRBL Monday while he respects the protesters' right to speak freely, "we have the right to dictate the time and place." For instance, the city government channel is available between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m.

Columbus's Mayor is confident the 300-foot "protest-free zone" can pass a court challenge. After all, the U.S. Supreme Court set similar boundaries for protests outside women's clinics several years ago. In fact, I'm a bit surprised the clinic doctors didn't spray the boundary line on the sidewalk....

If you haven't been keeping track, the protest-free proposal is aimed at Kansas preacher Fred Phelps and his congregation. It travels from coast to coast, picketing outside events of all sorts. You almost get the feeling the only funerals they support are for the church's own membership.

Fred Phelps seems to enjoy the proposals being made by governments across the country, restricting his church's protests. Phelps told CNN a few weeks ago he hopes Congress will take up the issue, so he can have a national audience. Sorry, Pastor, but that didn't work for Roy Moore....

I can understand why Columbus Council and other governments want to set-up "protest-free zones" outside funerals. But can such areas really pass a court challenge? Remember: if the U.S. Supreme Court is turning right, it's heading in Fred Phelps's direction.

There was one recent case where free speech was abruptly stopped, and it caused a stir among many in Columbus. If you tried to hear Saturday night's Cottonmouths game on radio, you know what I'm talking about....

I found out only Monday that WCJM-FM shut down its Cottonmouths broadcast early Saturday night, before the double-overtime game in Huntsville was over. Please, young people -- follow the Snakes's example, not the radio station's.

Based on what I'm hearing, WCJM had set its computer to end the Cottonmouths broadcast at a certain time and return to regular programming. Trouble was, the game in Huntsville lasted until about 1:00 a.m. - long enough for the Snakes' mohawk haircuts to grow about two inches.

Cottonmouths fans rushed to the team web site to pick up the Internet broadcast of the double-overtime game. People with no Internet access started inundating Columbus TV stations with phone calls - as if it was the biggest event in the area since "24" was interrupted for a severe weather report.

The Cottonmouths won in double-overtime, and face a decisive third game in its series with Huntsville tonight. Thankfully, the game is at the Columbus Civic Center. Fans won't have to worry about a radio broadcast -- because you can't hear WCJM at the Civic Center, anyway.

Perhaps the happiest news for bloggers about speaking up came Monday from the Federal Election Commission. It ruled blogs are exempt from campaign finance laws -- so they can bash candidates all they wish online, and try to get money for ads to make it all stop.

The Federal Election Commission put blogs in the same class as newspapers, when it comes to campaign finance laws. Now I don't have to worry about spending limits, unless paid political ads are placed on the blog. Don't worry, you candidates -- I do my own taxes, so I'm good at bookkeeping.

Longtime readers know this blog can get a bit wild with e-mailers, when election time is near. Monday's federal ruling means the messages can keep coming, and I can keep posting - and recalling a couple of years ago, the attorneys can file slander suits against each other after it's all over.

E-MAIL UPDATE: For example, we can keep posting messages from "IsOurCitySafe" -- and another lengthy one came Monday:

Here are some excerpts from letters sent to the editor of the Columbus Ledger Enquirer concerning displeasure in the job our city government is doing:

1) When I see fine policemen leaving Columbus for better-paying jobs, reducing our city's vital protection, while our public school administration continues to become top-heavy; I question who is really serving the public. I hope other voters are as disappointed as I am with the performance of our local officials and will exercise their power at the polls, as I will surely do in the coming elections.

Submitted by Carl "Bud" Paepcke

2) The Rails to Trails project behind my home seems at first to be a lovely idea. Just imagine being able to walk out of my back gate to a park. But, how long will that park be lovely? If the City of Columbus doesn't have funds to provide me with the necessities (police officers and firefighters) how long can they provide routine maintenance for a park? What if the park then becomes a breeding ground for vagrants and drug activity? If I call 911 will an officer be available? Maybe not. Please use my tax dollars wisely. I need meat and potatoes first. If there is enough money left over I will take the dessert.

Submitted by Brenda Folsom

3) I am in complete agreement with the author who stated that one way to keep our city positions filled instead of cutting 150 jobs back was to park several of the unfilled Metra buses. Just yesterday, I was traveling down Wynnton Road and something caught my eye that I would like for that author to know, along with the rest of this city; There running beside me was a brand new city bus! There was a paper tag on it with a January date and at the top of the tag is said "Commercial Bus Sales." I was not able to catch the 800 number, but I did get the #1187 bus number already tagged on it. This is an outright injustice to the people of this town who are looking at the unemployment in the face because the city townsmen supposedly do not have the money to pay them. What will they do next?

Submitted by Stephanie Hoover

4) First, we read about 150 city employees getting laid off. Then we read about private meetings with selected members of council, the city manager, and the finance director. Be assured that when this crowd meets in secrecy, they are cooking up well-developed front to hoodwink the citizens and then make it look like we simply misunderstood. Their behavior is shocking but not surprising. Every year they foretell of financial meltdowns that never occur, yet there continues to be an expanding tax base, massive amounts of private development, increasing sales tax revenue, plenty of taxpayer dollars available for special interest land giveaways and on and on. I am appalled that even long-term employees targeted for layoff are offered no more than pink slips for their years of dedicated service. Obviously, the council doesn't put much value in the slogan "quality people providing quality service." Despite their claim that the $9 million increase in the next year's budget is for health care, pensions, energy and elections, most of this money is for employees raises that include substantial increases for the highest paid executive level positions including the city manager and his assistants. Councilor Pugh recently said that there is no "finance committee." I totally agree. A real finance committee would protect the citizens by reviewing the hard numbers and ensuring the budget is consistent with reality. Instead, council scrambles around months later wondering why the fund balance increased after the budgeters projected a draw down.

Submitted by G.W.Odom

5) Why in the world are our elected officials putting so much thought into Riverwalks, skating parks and walking trails when we don't have enough police officers to protect our residential areas and roads? Cutting our police and fire departments should be the very last thought in their minds. And I believe paying them well should be a primary thought! No, I am not part of a family either. I have, however, been in desperate need of police officers during an armed robbery where two people were killed and a second seriously injured. Of course, the officers responded not knowing what they were running into. And believe me, my co-workers and I were eternally grateful! When one does not know if the next person shot will be him, it puts a deep appreciation for the police officers taking that chance and coming to their rescue. Friends, lets rally around our police officers and firefighters. Maybe the next time we are asked for a penny increase, IT WILL BE SPECIFIED FOR THE ONES WHO LAY THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE TO PROTECT US! Otherwise, Columbus may cease to be the safe, wonderful place we have enjoyed all these years.

Submitted by Dee Lowery

An article of interest contradicting statements made by our fine city mayor that Columbus is ready for a disaster: This article titled "Ready when disaster strikes" quotes Captain Rick Kelly (Muscogee County Sheriffs Office) with saying "If a disaster occurred in Columbus, local emergency services would be completely overwhelmed because they are simply not set up now to assist that many people at once."

How is it that our city leaders, primarily "Bob" and councilors, can say that Columbus is ready for a disaster when police officers and sheriff's deputies say we are not? Who would you believe? The people in the ivory tower downtown who have their heads implanted in their posteriors or the men and women patrolling the streets everyday who see what actually goes on in the city?

VOTE THEM OUT ON ELECTION DAY!

Concerned citizen and constant pain in Bob's side,

Wade Sheridan

I think I'm starting to see why Wade doesn't write the Ledger-Enquirer himself. He'd exceed the "letters to the editor" word count limit almost every time.

The thoughts of "Bud" Paepcke are worth noting, because he's a longtime marshal in U.S. District Court. But doesn't he have his government areas mixed up here? Does he really expect school district officials to fill in as late-night police officers?

As for letter #2, about city parks and trails becoming drug-infested places for lowlifes -- well, it's sad to hear Lakebottom Park has fallen so far, so fast. The last few times I was there, no beggars approached me at all.

And how dare METRA buy a new city bus! Some of us prefer the old pollution-belching models, thank you very much....

. But haven't the last few weeks shown Columbus actually IS ready for a disaster? Simply sound the sirens early, and chase everyone inside to watch TV weathercasters scratch their heads about what's happening.

Wade may want local elected officials voted out -- but it's the last week of March, and where are the challengers to take them on? The only one I've heard about so far is Reginald Pugh of the Urban League. And he's running for Ed Harbison's State Senate seat -- so even he wants to leave Columbus for three months every year.

Now a quick check of other things we noticed Monday:

+ Another local blog which proudly displays a Burkard Award took WRBL's Chris Sweigart to task for a Sunday night news story. Sweigart called it the "Phenix City Dragway." That other blogger says the proper name is "Phenix Dragstrip." Maybe Sweigart was trying to avoid the word "strip" in a Bible Belt city.

+ Country music legend Merle Haggard performed at the Columbus RiverCenter. The center had trouble selling out this concert - perhaps because residents protested Haggard calling his hit record "Okie from Muskogee," with a K.

(OK, who will be the first to call WKCN "Kissin' 99.3" and challenge the on-air announcers to name three Merle Haggard songs? In 2006, they might have trouble naming anything by Barbara Mandrell.)

+ Alabama Agriculture Commissioner Ron Sparks denied speculation by gubernatorial candidate Roy Moore that the reported mad cow case might be a hoax. Maybe the state should sell pictures of that cow to the National Enquirer, and settle this....

+ Instant Message to St. Luke School: What's going on here? You give students a book project based on the alphabet, and the boy assigned the letter J writes about jellyfish and "jingling jingle bells." Shouldn't a Christian school have encouraged the mention of Jesus in there somewhere?

COMING WEDNESDAY: An e-mailer asks: "What do you have against WTVM?" Ooh boy....

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27 MAR 06: THE B.K. BIKER

Sunday was a sunny, mild day - perfect for getting outside and doing things. It was a wonderful time to ride a bike, then park it somewhere and beg total strangers for lunch money....

BLOGGER BEGGAR #4: "Excuse me, Sir," said the man sitting on the sidewalk outside the Spectrum on Fourth Street. "Can I have a dollar, so I can get something to eat?" Usually beggars aren't at this station on Sunday afternoons. They show up on weekdays, since lottery players already are throwing away dollar bills.

"Let's go in, and I'll buy you something to eat," I replied. Only as I write this do I realize how difficult this would have been. I walked to Spectrum from my home with a "refill cup" for fountain soda, and less than one dollar on me. But a Little Debbie snack cake for a quarter still would have counted.

"I was planning to go to Burger King after awhile to get something to eat." I owe Spectrum an apology right here, because I didn't stick up for the quality of its hot dogs.

"I live about a block from here, and I can take you to Burger King and buy you something to eat." The Veterans Parkway location is about one block from where that man held up a cardboard sign last Friday - so maybe that man was back, taking this guy's space.

"I was going to ride my bike over there." The man sitting on the sidewalk pointed to a bicycle standing at the other side of the Spectrum. I guess he wasn't "hungry" to the point that he lacked the strength to pedal 11 blocks.

"You can ride my bike to where I live. I'll secure it there, and take you to Burger King."

"I don't want you to go to all that trouble," the beggar answered. Perhaps he thought I was trying to out-con him - and my refill cup had lead weights inside, to beat him up and steal his bicycle.

"It's no trouble," I assured the man. If anything, he was making this more trouble than it was worth. Food is sitting less than 50 yards from him, but he HAS to go a mile-and-a-half to eat something?

"Never mind, sir. I'll ask some people later for a couple of dollars." Hmmmm - a COUPLE of dollars, after he asked me for one? Maybe he has a building jackpot system here....

"There's a Burger King over on Fourth Avenue where I planned to go," the beggar continued. Fourth Avenue, huh? That tells me the man is a longtime Columbus resident -- and he probably also knows he can pedal his bicycle across the bridge to Phenix City now, and buy beer with Sunday donations.

It turned out the Spectrum soda fountain for my refill cup was out of order -- and with less than one dollar in my pocket, I couldn't afford a 20-ounce bottle. So I left as empty-handed as the beggar was. I guess I should have told him that - but he might have invited me to join him in a begging tag-team.

The count now stands at four beggars we've encountered in Columbus this year - and only one has wound up receiving help from us. I don't know why this one wasn't interested in letting me personally buy him dinner at Burger King. Should I have shaved, before stepping outside?

E-MAIL UPDATE: The disappearing beggar we passed Friday along Fourth Avenue - oops, Veterans Parkway - brought this e-mail Sunday:

he was inside eating......trust me.

OK, I'll trust you - and should I assume YOU were the one who stopped and bought him lunch? Or was the beggar taking a lunch break on his own?

The Sunday InBox also had a message from the West Coast:

I stumbled on your blog while looking for something totally unrelated. What's funny is that I grew up in Columbus. I now live in Southern California. It was amusing to see places mentioned that I remember well.

I was there a couple of years ago to perform the wedding of my cousin, Ashley Albritton (now Pezold.) Since that time they have moved out here, leaving me very few Columbus relatives.

Have a great Sunday.

Perry Hamilton

Thanks for finding us, Perry - and for giving a very different meaning to that prime-time TV show. "The O.C. - Out of Columbus."

Let's head back into town now, for quick news headlines from the weekend:

+ Several cargo planes left Columbus Airport, flying low over Columbus State University. WDAK's Scott Miller was broadcasting a C.S.U. baseball game and asked, "Are we invading Alabama?" Maybe so - to rescue that state from its oppressive lack of lottery games.

+ West Point held a street dance, to celebrate obtaining the new Kia plant. I assume no country music was played at this event - since that music is filled with songs about pickup trucks, and Kia doesn't make any.

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra presented a children's matinee of "Peter and the Wolf." Commercials promoting this classical work reminded me the wolf is accused of eating a duck - so I guess AFLAC didn't sponsor this concert.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths played until after 1:00 a.m. ET, and beat Huntsville 4-3 in double overtime to stay alive in the hockey playoffs. You can tell the Snakes are tired when the dramatic score isn't posted on the team web site after 12:00 noon....

+ Auburn University won the NCAA men's swimming title, matching the title its women won earlier in the month. How does Auburn keep winning national championships in swimming? Do the coaches threaten to make the athletes swim in Lake Martin?

+ Instant Message to the Ledger-Enquirer: It's nice to see you finally did a story on the radio ratings. And it's nice to know I beat you to that story -- by almost two months [1 Feb].

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, as we conduct our annual serious spring cleaning.)

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26 MAR 06: ALL OVER BUT THE SHOUTIN'

Many radio stations make sudden changes to surprise the competition. It's rare when a station warns you a change is coming - but that's happening right now on the AM dial in Columbus. When people start speaking Spanish about April 1, that's a clue....

In January this blog predicted WHAL "Hallelujah 1460" was the radio station most likely to change formats next [1 Jan]. We were right - as Clear Channel Radio is running announcements that the new "Viva 1460" will premiere next weekend. Perhaps managers decided a warning time was the Christian thing to do.

The WHAL-AM web site already has been changed, to note the upcoming launch of "Viva 1460." That suggests to me the "Hallelujah" music won't be moving to another station -- unless Clear Channel's "Southern Gospel" station at AM-1270 is about to reflect the ENTIRE South.

(I should have smelled this change was coming a few weeks ago, when Columbus Pastor Terry Jefferson moved his weekly broadcast from WHAL to WSHE AM-1270. Jefferson's congregation is African-American - unless a lot of white folks suddenly moved to Cusseta Road.)

So what is "Viva 1460?" If you've been in Atlanta and dialed around the radio, you probably already know. Clear Channel went all-Spanish there with "Radio Viva" a couple of years ago, and it's brought big ratings. So why was it a little Gainesville station which gained the credit for Friday's day off?

Unlike "Ritmo Latino Radio," which used to be on the Columbus AM band from Friday to Sunday, "Viva 1460" apparently will be a seven-day Spanish station. This seems only fair. After all, no one expects El Vaquero to serve burgers and fries two days a week.

One of the announcements promoting "Viva 1460" says it will be "as Latin as you are." Finally! My year of learning Latin in high school will pay off....

With no competing Spanish station in Columbus, "Viva 1460" should do well. But the big winner in this radio station change appears to be WEAM-FM. It will be the only full-time "black gospel" station in town, so perhaps the staff celebrated by opening bottles of -- well, grape juice, of course.

But what will happen to the local churches with broadcasts on WHAL? I doubt they're saying "Hallelujah" to this change. In fact, some pastors may blame their congregations today for not praying hard enough about the station's success.

One church broadcast which comes to mind right away is "Getting on Top of Life," with Pastor/School Board member Joseph Roberson. He moved his program from the old WEAM-AM to WHAL a few years ago. What does he do now -- give a series of sermons on the "prodigal son?"

Another question about this change is what will happen when WDAK-AM has to move sports events down the dial. They've been moved for years to WHAL - for instance, when the Columbus Catfish had an afternoon baseball game. You don't dare interrupt Rush Limbaugh for a bunch of minor league "lefties."

(Then again, maybe the Catfish already have planned for this - by hiring a bilingual play-by-play announcer.)

BLOG UPDATE: If "Viva 1460" had been on the air Friday, perhaps the "Day of Dignity" protest would have had an impact here. Few Columbus Hispanic residents seemed to know about the one-day protest. So maybe it's time this blog went bilingual....

We went to the Oakland Park shopping center on South Lumpkin Road to check how the Day of Dignity was going. We found two Hispanic-owned markets open as usual. Not even a "Taqueria" took a care....

A step inside Millie's Market found a young woman at the checkout. "Business as usual?" we asked.

"Yes."

"We'd heard on TV there was a Hispanic boycott going on today."

"I didn't know that," she said. Maybe all she watches on Univision are the "telenovelas."

A drive by the Ritmo Latino Nightclub on North Lumpkin Road found two people talking outside. But there were no protest signs, or any indication Friday night's big show would be canceled. The Jose Ricci Defense Fund may need all the money it can get.

The only sign we saw of a possible boycott came at All-American Recycling on Martin Luther King Boulevard. We've noticed several Hispanic employees there in recent years, but saw none on this Friday afternoon. Maybe the managers finally decided the name of the business meant something....

The immigration issue came up among church friends of mine this weekend. "There's going to be a big lawsuit," one man promised, if an employer "requires me to know Spanish." I assume he goes into Taco Bell and orders salads.

Another man told me illegal immigrants pay NO taxes at all in this country. "They're paid under the table," he said. That's funny - every time I've been in a Mexican restaurant, the tips are left on top.

Now for other revelations from a cool late-March weekend:

+ Fort Benning hosted a big welcome-home weekend for the Third Brigade. But if it was for soldiers and their families, as someone told me it was, how did Governor Sonny Perdue wind up there?

+ The evening news reported home sales in Columbus are up 25 percent from last year. Even the Second Baptist Church on Second Avenue now is "under contract" - so who knows which AFLAC executive is buying that one.

+ Former Valley Police Chief Tim Bryan was named the City Manager. Bryan moved to Foley, Alabama last year to be police chief - only to be suspended for arguing with an employee. The department chiefs had better like his budget....

+ A Jacksonville, Alabama man was arrested on charges of stealing tailgates off pickup trucks in Phenix City and Auburn. And here I thought all the drivers were removing them for aerodynamics and better gas mileage....

(Police say the Jacksonville, Alabama man had 35 stolen tailgates in his home, and was selling them on eBay. But who would buy a pickup tailgate online? Someone who lives 50 miles from the nearest junkyard?)

+ Aruba's chief investigator told CBS's "48 Hours Mystery" he now doubts Alabama teen Natalee Holloway was murdered. He claims Holloway drank all day, and may have died from a "mix of intoxicants." So if you add teenage lust to beer, isn't that at least manslaughter?

(Ever defending her daughter, Beth Holloway Twitty told "48 Hours Mystery" it's legal for 18-year-olds to drink in Aruba. Imagine if Natalee Holloway's senior trip had been to Cuba, and she was photographed smoking big cigars.)

+ Carver High School hosted its annual "Battle of the Drumlines" in his gym. Hopefully the spectators were given free ear plugs at the door....

+ Columbus State University's softball team played its first home game in five weeks. The Cougars played 24 games in a row on the road. Yeow - how many Southeastern Conference teams put THEM on the schedule?

+ Jerome Bechard of the Columbus Cottonmouths was named S.P.H.L. Coach of the Year. It's a good thing this was a secret ballot - because Bechard might have been in a mood to beat up everyone who voted for somebody else.

+ Louisiana State topped Texas 70-60 in overtime at the Georgia Dome, to win the N.C.A.A. men's basketball Atlanta Regional. Let's see if Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis can get tickets to the Final Four, by claiming he's related to L.S.U.'s player with that name....

(L.S.U. star Glen "I'm not a Columbus Councilor" Davis told CBS Sports after the game he had "tapeworms in my stomach" about winning a national title. This was one Hurricane Katrina reference we absolutely did NOT need.)

+ Instant Message to whoever shot off fireworks outside Golden Park around 5:30 p.m. Saturday: I'll take three guesses....

A) You're practicing for the Catfish season.

B) You had fireworks left over from the Third Brigade's welcome-home party.

C) You bought them illegally, and thought you could destroy the evidence before sunset - forgetting they make noise.

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for 25 Mar 06: BEAT ME TO IT

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

"I'M HUNGRY CAN YOU HELP" said the cardboard sign held by the man on Veterans Parkway Friday afternoon. Before you ask - no, the man did NOT look Hispanic and feeling the effect of that day off.

This hungry man was standing in a prime begging spot - on the sidewalk outside McDonald's at 14^th and Veterans Parkway. So at least he knew where the food was. But when the extra value menu is too expensive, you're in bad shape....

I saw the man with his cardboard sign too late to turn into McDonald's and talk with him. My goal was actually to buy milk less than a block away. Spectrum has two gallons of Parmalat milk for five dollars right now - loaded into plastic bags so thin that you dare not walk more than one block with them.

It actually took me three Spectrums to find what I wanted: a gallon of two-percent milk. Other stores had whole milk or none at all - and I'd rather get fat on the two-for-one Hershey's candy bar special.

But then an interesting idea hit me. The Spectrum which had two-percent milk also had a deal entitling me to a free tube of peanuts. There's the answer - go back a couple of blocks to the hungry man, and give him the peanuts. I'd help meet his hunger, whether he liked it or not.

Yet when I drove back to 14^th and Veterans to help the hungry man, he was gone - no longer standing on the sidewalk. My opportunity had passed in less than five minutes. It was as if that man was a human Kmart "Blue Light Special."

Where did the hungry man go? Did someone else come to him and buy him food at McDonald's? I certainly hope that was the case -- because otherwise, police cars are picking up "tramps" faster than I ever imagined.

Regular readers of this blog know I try to help the beggars I meet (three officially so far this year). What do YOU do for them? Do you wave at them and drive on by? Do you offer to pray for them - even though the only prayer that might really help a hungry man is in one of those "Command Mints" at Christian stores?

I've admittedly been too busy over the years to attend the "Empty Bowl Brunch" for the Second Harvest food bank, but events such as that are a perfect way to help hungry people. If they really want to eat, pantries are available for them across the Columbus area. If they're really hungry for apple wine, that's another matter....

Next time you pass someone like this along the side of the road, think about actually stopping to help them. And if you can't stop, think about how you can help in other ways. It would be great to leave the cardboard signs along the roadside for high school cheerleaders, holding car washes.

COMING SUNDAY: A prediction from January that's apparently coming true.... and what we saw on the "Day of Dignity...."

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24 MAR 06: SIN LATINOS

Uh oh - before we start, please don't misunderstand our title. We are NOT encouraging Hispanic people in Columbus to sin. In fact, we haven't noticed any steamy nightclubs on Victory Drive with Spanish names....

Our title translates literally from Spanish into "Without Latins" -- and that scenario may occur across Georgia today. Hispanic groups are calling for a one-day economic boycott by Hispanic residents, with no working or shopping. And unlike some Columbus civil rights protests, this one hasn't been cancelled yet.

The Coordinating Committee of Community Leaders actually denies today's event is a boycott -- but a "signal of Hispanic impact." But if you're avoiding work and not buying items, what else would you call it but... well, hold it. High school seniors would call it "skip day."

The official name for this one-day Hispanic, uh, day off is a "Day of Dignity." Well, why limit this to one ethnic community? I say we should show dignity to all poultry plant workers - and give them a break by eating hamburgers at least twice a week.

The Day of Dignity was called shortly before Thursday's vote by the Georgia House for a major immigration reform bill. Some Hispanic residents apparently fear the bill will leave them locked up or deported. There ARE times when lawmakers should prepare copies of bills in Spanish.

The bill approved by the Georgia House actually is aimed at illegal immigrants. If you can't prove you're in Georgia legally, you'd be denied some state services. So who knows how many Phenix City commuters will join in this day off, too....

The House bill also imposes a five-percent surcharge when illegal immigrants make wire transfers. Large numbers of immigrants use Western Union to send money to relatives back home in Latin America. But the company can't change its name to "Southern Union," because Opelika already claimed that.

Supporters of the Georgia House immigration bill say it will save the state money, as only residents who legally have state services coming will get them. But remember, this can be a two-way street. Mexican food stores might ask you to show a U.S. passport before ringing up your items.

Opponents of the immigration bill are taking unusual approaches to make their point. The Atlanta bilingual paper "Mundo Hispanico" printed a map, showing all the Spanish-owned businesses near the home of the bill's main sponsor. And who knows how many families with Mafia connections run Italian restaurants....

The timing of this Day of Dignity is ironic, because the Census Bureau noted this week Hispanic-owned businesses are opening much faster than the overall total. Will they all shut down today - leaving the Oakland Park Shopping Center parking lot practically empty?

The Oakland Park Shopping Center has one of the pioneer Hispanic businesses in Columbus. Millie's Marker just marked ten years since its opening. I've met owner Harold Encarnacion, and he says he works there seven days a week -- so the Day of Dignity might be the first holiday he's had since Xmas.

(Harold and Millie aren't really immigrants to the U.S. Their heritage is Puerto Rican - and if Puerto Rico is still anything like the place I visited in 1995, it's QUITE American. I've never seen a place with more Ponderosa Steak Houses than San Juan....)

Immigration is an issue in many other state legislatures, besides Georgia. A similar one-day demonstration in Milwaukee Thursday was called a "Day Without Latinos." Or as Ku Klux Klan leaders called it, "Step One."

I realize illegal immigration is a big issue, not only in Georgia but nationwide. But I would ask a question about it - why are so many people from Latin America coming HERE, to the U.S.? Haven't they heard all the "outsourcing" work is going to China and India?

We're heading to Oakland Park today, so we'll let you know how the day off goes there. In the meantime, you might want to play it safe at lunchtime -- and go for the Mexican look-alike food at Taco Bell.

Now other quick bites from the last couple of days....

+ Phenix City police were called to the Piggly Wiggly parking lot on the 280 Bypass, because at least eight dogs were roaming around. One woman speculated they somehow escaped from a veterinary clinic - so the first question officers asked was: "Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?"

+ Former attorney John Swearingen was sentenced to five years in prison (he'll probably only serve two) for selling cocaine. Swearingen's developed such a long criminal record that he might try to become a life coach for Bill Campbell.

+ Retired General Norman Schwarzkopf appeared at the Georgia State Capitol, on behalf of the National Infantry Museum. State lawmakers approved a package of tax breaks for the new museum on South Lumpkin Road. It was either that, or the Third Brigade would get a new invasion assignment....

+ Eastway Elementary School students learned NASA will put their experiment involving popcorn on a future high-altitude balloon flight. Will popcorn still pop, 25 miles up in the atmosphere? Will another NASA balloon have to send up another balloon, with the world's highest-flying microwave oven?

+ Instant Message to the Academic Success Center: Congratulations on your 100^th anniversary - but about that 1906 time capsule you opened awhile back. One woman tells me a second time capsule is on an upper floor of the building, from 1976. She wants it opened NOW - else I guess you're guilty of age discrimination.

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23 MAR 06: FLUSH THE LANES

And you thought the Columbus Police Department was short on staff, and hard pressed to fight crime. Wednesday's news showed just the opposite. When officers aren't waiting out possible hostage-takers at businesses, they're cruising shopping centers to clear out fire lanes....

The Columbus SWAT team peacefully resolved a tense standoff at Custom Windows on Metro Drive. Chief Rick (until further notice) Boren says Steve Purdie fired shots at a co-worker, and talked about killing President Bush. And even stranger - Purdie doesn't look like a radical Muslim at all.

But I want to focus on the next big police project. A proposal in Columbus Council would increase the fine fourfold, for parking in fire lanes. We don't want firefighters raising money to fight muscular dystrophy in the middle of the parking lot, do we?

If you're caught parking in a Columbus fire lane, the current fine is 50 dollars. Columbus Council will vote next week on increasing it to 200 dollars - which will be serious money around here until the new Kia plant opens.

If you think a 200-dollar fine for fire lane parking is bad, consider this. The fine for illegally parking in a reserved disabled space in Columbus is 500 dollars -- not to mention the humiliation of military veterans jotting down your license number, and spreading it all over town.

The proposal to increase fire lane fines has the backing of Columbus's "Homeland Security Director." I laughed when I first saw this - but then I realized car bombers might park in fire lanes. Of course, a faithful suicide bomber wouldn't really care how big the fine is....

Why do people park illegally in fire lanes near the front doors of businesses, anyway? Some people admit they do it because they're in a hurry. And I suppose some Green Island residents might expect a valet to come out and park the car FOR them.

But I have another theory about fire lane parkers -- that it's a sign of celebrity. When Deion Sanders played pro sports in Atlanta, he was ticketed late one night for blocking a supermarket fire lane. It was a big local news story -- and for years when I talked about the "Deion Sanders Parking Rule," the plugged-in guys understood.

Even people who aren't sports stars seem to park in fire lanes as an attention-getter. For instance, they might want to show off their fancy cars or their ridiculously loud stereo systems. But I've never seen a group of "fly girls" gather outside those cars, and start hip-hop dancing.

I can hear the critics of this big fine now. They say Columbus city government should forget about fire lanes, and focus on the "REAL criminals" - and they're the ones I want to follow on a shopping trip, to see where THEY park.

But doesn't small-time crime often lead to bigger offensives? Let people block a fire lane today, and they might drag-race down the interstate tomorrow - which at least would open the fire lanes for emergency vehicles.

So how does Columbus compare with other cities, when it comes to fire lane violations? Someone told me Wednesday the fine in Phenix City isn't 50 dollars - it's only FIVE. Maybe it should be renamed: "Phenix City, the No-Inflation City."

E-MAIL UPDATE: We missed the latest update on the Muscogee County school dress code, but one of our blog readers did not:

I see where the MCSD board has approved the wearing of hoodies,if the hoods are not worn over the head..Who on the board suggested that they be banned in the first place? Bet they don't have children or grans...I bet old Navy thinks, "Gee willies,I wish that board would make up their mind before the order for fall school clothes goes in."

Maybe it wasn't a clothing issue, but a grooming one. The school board doesn't want any student to be picked on for "hoodie hair" during the winter.

By the way: which local school board member recently wound up waiting seven hours for a western flight, because he misread the ticket departure time and showed up late? Maybe we need a magnet school for travel agents....

Now before the hour draws too late for us, let's check other developments from Wednesday:

+ A local lawmaker feud erupted at the Georgia General Assembly. Rep. Debbie Buckner spoke against Sen. Seth Harp's proposal to reduce the amount of buffer space between developments and streams. Maybe they should have a duel in a buffer zone - with Buckner standing in a river, and Harp in a high-rise building.

+ U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert came to Georgia, and endorsed returning Mac Collins to Congress. I didn't realize Collins was trying to return to Washington - so maybe his condo there hasn't sold as quickly as he expected.

(Mac Collins seems to have learned a lesson from his failed U.S. Senate bid of 2004. He actually appears to be campaigning more than a month before the primary.)

+ WRBL reported the original B. Merrill's restaurant on Manchester Expressway has closed. This actually could be good news for many people. The Dunkin Donuts shop next door needs a bigger building for those Saturday morning lines.

+ WDAK's Val McGuinness declared during "The Morning Show" groups which stage protests outside funerals should "have their b**ts whipped." Now hold on here - isn't that something Muslim extremists do at funerals? Retaliate, I mean....

+ Former Auburn University wide receiver Dale Overton was beaten up at a high school baseball game. Overton coaches Beauregard's junior varsity team, and a parent reportedly was upset about his son not playing enough. This is why old cheers like "fight, team, fight" are out of style today.

+ Three members of the Columbus Cottonmouths were named to the S.P.H.L. year-end all-league team. They include Tim Green, who led the league in scoring with 41 goals. So when will the Snakes wear bright-green uniforms in his honor?

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22 MAR 06: THE ULTIMATE JOB FAIR

Well, isn't this nice to see! Leaders of cities across the Chattahoochee Valley soon will gather together, for a little friendly competition against each other. You'd think they'd do this at the Columbus Civic Center - but in 2006, they're going all the way to South Korea....

We learned the dates Tuesday for a major meeting of area leaders and South Korean auto suppliers. They'll come together April 4-7, to discuss where parts plants will be placed for the Kia factory in West Point. Maybe the Columbus Catfish should join them - since the Koreans made the World Baseball Classic semifinals.

More details were revealed Tuesday about what Phenix City will offer Kia. It has 35 acres of land along U.S. 280, north of the Wal-Mart SuperCenter - and Home Depot will be happy to hold weekend clinics, to teach people how to do the work themselves.

Phenix City Economic Development Director Victor Cross says the 35-acre plot is perfect for a plant. Parts could be driven up U.S. 280 to Opelika, then northeast on Interstate 85 to West Point -- as long as drivers don't stop at the Lee County Flea Market and swap the parts for Confederate flags.

Victor Cross brings up a good point about access to the Kia.plant. Locations in north Phenix City are a four-lane drive all the way to West Point. Industrial areas of Columbus might not be that easy - especially with Mayor Poydasheff still trying to figure out how to synchronize all the traffic lights.

Can't you hear the critics now, saying south Phenix City could be slighted again in all this? But Victor Cross says locations on State Docks Road will be offered to Kia suppliers as well. Hey, there's an idea - barge traffic up the Chattahoochee River, and through West Point Lake.

If all goes well with Phenix City's plans, Mayor Jeff Hardin could get two items for the price of one. If a parts supplier decides to locate a plant in his city, it might throw in that movie theater he promised 18 months ago - even if the theater only shows kung fu movies.

Some people in Columbus say the mass media is making too big a deal of the $1.2 billion Kia plant. They should see the Valley Times-News, which has had articles with pictures about Kia and South Korea almost every day since the contract was signed. Maybe Sun Myung Moon and the Unification Church plan to buy it?!

BLOG UPDATE: Columbus Council surrendered Tuesday on the disputed land at 13^th and Cedar in midtown. It will be sold to the developer which bought the corner lot at an auction. All that remains now is for the Historic Columbus Foundation to declare the fountain there untouchable and off-limits.

The Columbus Council voted 9-1 to let Ted Pierce of C&A Family Partnerships have the land at 13^th and Cedar. You'll recall the City Manager tried to stop the sale, saying the land was promised to someone else [15 Feb]. Can't Isaiah Hugley offer some nice empty storefronts on Victory Drive instead?

A spokesman for C&A Family Partnerships suggested the city still might be sued, for promising the 13^th and Cedar lot to someone else after the auction. If every politician who ever engaged in double-talk was sued, the backlog of cases would last at least five years.

Now for other quick steps from "National Dance Day" (that's what Tuesday was, on a calendar I saw):

+ Captain Brian McGarr was named Phenix City's new police chief. He currently is in charge of police training - and I'm told he even trained HIMSELF for the new job as chief. I suppose that beats a correspondence course, at one of those online colleges which sends out spam.

+ Harris County voters overwhelmingly approved a five-year extension of a one-percent sales tax. This proves once again the cranky anti-tax bloggers and serial letter writers are outnumbered....

(Some of the sales tax renewal money will build a new intermediate school in Harris County. The way this county's growing, it might as well buy the construction trailers and keep them there as permanent overflow classrooms.)

+ Former Georgia Congresswoman Denise Majette announced she'll challenge Kathy Cox for state school superintendent. So Majette will NOT run against Rep. Cynthia McKinney again - which I suspect saddens members of both parties.

+ Former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore toured the state, to announce he'll stay in the Republican Governor's race. He will NOT pull a switch, and run as an independent - even though everyone who served with Moore on Alabama's Supreme Court would say that's exactly what he is.

+ Craig Stahl of the Columbus Cottonmouths helped several teammates get ready for the playoffs - by giving them "Mohawk" haircuts! [True/WRBL] Let's all be thankful hockey players are required to wear helmets on the ice these days....

(Craig Stahl openly admitted the special playoff haircutting is "one of the silliest things I've ever done." But hold on - after the playoffs end, he can be an instructor at Rivertown School of Beauty.)

+ Instant Message to anyone who heard about a welcome-home ceremony this week for the Third Brigade: I'm told Friday's event is NOT open to the general public - only soldiers and their families. If you're spotted with binoculars watching fireworks pop above Fort Benning, you could be in big trouble.

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21 MAR 06: THE THIN RED LINE

Instant Message to my family: I'm doing fine - unscathed by Monday night's severe weather. And at least I'm telling you here. My niece in Lawrence, Kansas still hasn't called me back about how SHE did last week. (Ahem....)

A line of severe storms moved through the Columbus area Monday night. It brought hurricane-force wind gusts, reports of possible tornadoes - and a surprise one-day extension of "Thunder in the Valley."

I owe a big debt of gratitude to a Phenix City blogger, for alerting me to the trouble. His home page said "TORNADO WARNING FOR RUSSELL COUNTY" while I listened to college basketball on a Louisville radio station. If the sports radio station in Columbus had picked up these games - well no, I still wouldn't have known....

The radar screens of local TV station showed a potential tornado in the Seale area. Tornado areas appear in purple - which could mean they were devised by a fellow Kansas graduate. Purple is the color of big bad Kansas State, you know....

It turned out tornado warnings were issued for Chattahoochee and Marion Counties, as well as Russell. Warning sirens sounded across Columbus at 9:47 p.m., but NO tornado warning was issued by the weather service. Does Emergency Management Director Riley Land have a quota to meet?

The biggest Columbus TV stations sounded their tones often at the height of the storm. I had "Supernanny" on, and wasn't sure at times if the "beeps" were for a tornado sighting or a parent swearing.

At 10:00 p.m. I was all set to get a full weather update from WXTX - but I don't have cable, and the broadcast signal went off the air. It came back just in time for "Health Watch," AFTER the forecast. Too bad there was no news about how to handle a panic attack.

Things were even worse at WRBL, where the broadcast signal went down for about 30 minutes. But give this station some credit - it didn't put Blaine Stewart in charge of the severe weather alerts. He's advanced to the 6:00 p.m. news, though, so he's on the way....

Other TV stations didn't offer much help for severe weather information:

+ WCGT-TV 16 was in a fund-raiser for its new owner, the Christian Television Network. I was asked to pledge $60 a month for six months - but no one offered to pray about possibly losing the roof over my head.

+ WLGA TV-66 showed "Fear Factor." In a strange way, this was more encouraging during a severe storm than the religious channel.

+ Georgia Public Broadcasting presented a history program, about the "Gibson Girl" of New York modeling. For those of you under 35 - no, she was NOT a pop singer named Debbie.

The final numbers from "stormy Monday" severe weather showed a top wind gust of 85 miles per hour. To which some North Columbus residents said with a laugh, "I've driven down the J.R. Allen Parkway faster than that."

WRBL reported about 5,000 customers in Phenix City lost power from the storm, compared with 3,000 in Columbus. So those birds atop the Alabama Power billboard need to tie their connections a little tighter....

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have readers from coast to coast. This question reached the blog Monday from South Carolina:

I have a friend named, Carrie, who needs to know all she can about "Club Oxygen". What can you tell me?

Shannon Kerr Gunnells

Sorry to say, Shannon, I can't tell you much. I've never been inside Club Oxygen on Broadway. I've jogged past it several times - but no one stepped outside and offered oxygen for my breathing.

We have a wide-ranging blog readership, and we invite them to offer any information they can about Club Oxygen. But it's listed merely as "Oxygen" on one line of the Columbus Yellow Pages - so maybe that "club" word confuses people.

Perhaps your friend has heard rumors about (Club) Oxygen - and we can address a few of those:

+ It is NOT owned by the people who put on the Oxygen cable channel. If Oprah Winfrey managed part of that club, she would have appeared in Columbus by now - and you would have seen it on her talk show.

+ It has NOT spawned any spinoff clubs in other parts of Columbus. I mean, there's no Club Hydrogen, Club Nitrogen, Club Molybdenum....

+ It's different from the "Platinum Club" on Manchester Expressway. That club allegedly has naked dancers. Oxygen probably has a two-piece minimum.

Now for other elements we discovered Monday:

+ Columbus Urban League President Reginald Pugh announced a program with the Tidwell Cancer Treatment Center, encouraging men to be screened for prostate cancer. Pugh is running for the Georgia State Senate - so Ed Harbison now needs to win the endorsement of the John B. Amos family.

+ WRBL reported Baker Middle School has asked to go back to a traditional school year, ending year-round classes. Apparently too many students were dropping out - so now in a way, the principal wants to join them.

+ The Georgia Senate voted 45-3 for a bill protecting insurance agents. Believe it or not, Georgia law says you can have agents arrested if they sell you insurance while they buy you lunch! [True/GPB] How many undercover Columbus Police officers wish they could have trapped Carolyn Hugley in that one?

+ Kasey Kahne won the rain-delayed "Golden Corral 500" NASCAR race outside Atlanta. But the big story for some was the appearance of African-American driver Bill Lester. Minorities in ANY role on NASCAR teams are about as rare as Firestone tires on cars.

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20 MAR 06: GENERATION @

Our title is borrowed from a religious publication, which coined that phrase recently to describe today's Internet-using teenagers. I think most of them would pronounce that symbol "whatever."

The article with that title was a warning to parents about the now-notorious web site "Myspace." We mention it here because a Blackmon Road Middle School counselor has found some stunning postings there from that school's students. If they quoted this blog without permission, make them write me apology letters....

The counselor apparently went searching around Myspace, and found all sorts of shocking things posted by Blackmon Road Middle Schoolers:

+ Comments about drugs. And I thought these children would be too young to use Plavix.

+ Curse words. Would she rather the students said them aloud - maybe to a teacher?

+ Photos of "half-naked" students. Now this is more serious. Middle schoolers should be listening to Hilary Duff records, not Jennifer Lopez.

But the biggest concern for this counselor apparently is that Blackmon Road Middle School students have been posting their full names, addresses and phone numbers on Myspace. This is obviously risky to do - because who knows how many telemarketers write down those numbers, and try to sell magazine subscriptions.

Critics of Myspace say unsuspecting young people have posted all sorts of revealing things, which could put their safety at risk. I can understand why they're concerned. But if this counselor somehow thinks middle school students don't swear or talk about drugs - well, why doesn't she work at Calvary Christian School instead?

Before there were middle schools, they were called "junior high schools" - and I learned all sorts of shocking things during those years. Guys flipped towels and swore often in physical education class. And we never had to take off all our clothes and shower, after grade school recess.

My point is that middle school years are when young people tend to start trying to assert independence, and attempt to "act adult." If they're swearing, talking about drugs and posing in revealing outfits, we shouldn't be surprised. Jerry Springer is still on WXTX at 5:00 p.m., after all these years.

But how dangerous is Myspace, and is this counselor justified in her concern? Over the weekend I went to that website to find out. I searched the "blogs" section for Columbus -- and the first thing I learned was that some motels offer substantial discounts, if you click on a sponsored link.

A "Columbus" search in the blogs section of Myspace turned up 17 matches -- and none of them revealed anything related to Blackmon Road Middle School. So many the young people saw Friday evening's news and cleaned up their blogs. Or maybe their parents went online and did it FOR them?!

(No doubt the parents would have to check their children's blogs secretly. You know how many teens have told their parents in frustration: "You're in Myspace.")

The only mention of Columbus, Georgia I found was on a blog by a married woman in Ohio named "Secciness." I don't know why she chose that name - but I think it could apply to plenty of Southeastern Conference cheerleaders....

Here's what Secciness posted relating to our city: "You don't look cool if you lived in Columbus, GA all of your life, but have ATL next to your profile pic." At least she realizes Columbus is NOT an Atlanta suburb -- or is this a subtle slap suggesting we're backwards hicks?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our Sunday scattershot of comments brought a response about one weekend event:

I took 15 partial cans of paint and many used spray paint cans and old anti-freeze to the Recycle Columbus event at the Civic Center..I just want to say I was appreciative of the organization and courteous manner of the volunteers..

It's nice to know you were treated well. But I imagine other people would be happy to accept those used spray paint cans - such as dropout members of teen gangs.

I think Saturday's "Clean Up Columbus Day" event at the Civic Center inspired the Cottonmouths hours later - because did you notice how many "junk goals" they scored in that 11-5 win?

We have one more e-mail, from someone who wants to send a message to - well, somebody:

Will the guy who is letting his pittbull run around in Edgewood at night please keep him at home..The neighborhood cat burglar can't go to work..

Now, now - this could be the start of a fun new Columbus tourist attraction. If Pamplona, Spain can have the running of the bulls, why can't Edgewood have the running of the pit bulls?

This has nothing to do with dogs - but the e-mailer's spelling of "pittbull" reminds me of the funniest moment yet in the NCAA basketball tournament. Did you see Sunday's game between Bradley and Pittsburgh? And did you notice the CBS scorebox on the screen showed the teams as "BRAD PITT"? So much for Jennifer Aniston watching....

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: A group of men is talking at church, and one brings up killing snakes in his yard.

"You can pick up and handle those snakes, you know," says one of the men recalling a Bible verse.

"I know. I pick it up after I kill it."

Now let's pick up other scraps from Sunday:

+ Which candidate for Congress says he was told to leave an event at an area airport? He supposedly showed up to campaign, and was warned police would arrest him. Apparently this airport doesn't need any more federal grant money....

+ The annual "Empty Bowl Brunch" at the Britt David Studio raised more than $4,000 for the Second Harvest food bank. Where I come from, an "Empty Bowl" event usually means the end of a poor college football season.

+ The NASCAR "Golden Corral 500" in suburban Atlanta was postponed by rain, and will be tried again today. Sadly, I don't think there's a Golden Corral restaurant at the track to take advantage of all the hungry customers.

+ Instant Message to the Fourth Avenue Car Wash: Ohhhhh. The sign is supposed to say "GOT Pollen." I saw it the other day without the T, and thought you were starving for business....

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19 MAR 06: THE BUSY SEASON

I had a topic in mind for today - but so much is happening this weekend that I've decided to take a quick look at all of that, and get to that big topic on Monday. Saddle your ponies, here we go....

+ A source I tend to trust tells your blog the Mediterranean Café on Sidney Simons Boulevard has lost its liquor license. I'm not sure what happened to cause this. Perhaps the ouzo had too much booze-o....

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue visited local Republicans at the Columbus Trade Center. I wonder if anyone asked the Governor if he had any regrets about releasing the money to expand the building a couple of years ago.

(Sonny Perdue came to Columbus to talk about the new Kia plant, and about improving education. But I didn't hear any reporter ask him the most vital question of the week - is he for or against Jane Fonda?)

+ Democrats held their own rally and barbecue in Russell County - and some people in attendance wondered why more people don't "get off the couch" and vote. Has it ever occurred to them that voters find the singers on "American Idol" much more believable and likeable?

+ WRBL revealed Columbus police found a meth house recently on Fulton Road. It was a vacant house owned by developer John Flournoy. So which realtor tipped off police to this?

+ Columbus State University held a "topping" ceremony for its "Riverpark" arts campus downtown. Let's all be thankful C.S.U. has no budding performance artists, who illustrated the topping with Cool Whip.

(I saw a tent up for this ceremony above the Columbus Riverwalk, didn't know why it was there - and wondered if S.O.A. Watch has decided to be like NASCAR, and hold two events in Georgia each year.)

+ The annual "Thunder in the Valley" Air Show began at Columbus International Airport. Dozens of noisy planes took to the sky - yet somehow, Phil Carter still was able to scream over them in Bill Heard Chevrolet's commercials.

+ The Lanett Airport was closed for improvements, relating to the planned Kia plant in West Point. If Lanett calls its airport "international" before Columbus does....

+ "The Great Columbus Clean-Up" was held at the Civic Center. I didn't quite understand the reason for this - because didn't Lonnie Jackson recruit all sorts of groups to do this the last two months?!

(But seriously: The Great Columbus Clean-Up allowed people to turn in all sorts of recyclable items. Keep Columbus Beautiful even accepted computer items - and who knows how many of those mainframes with Celeron processors had dents in them.)

+ Phenix City staged what may have been this area's first St. Patrick's Day parade. This couldn't happen on Broadway in Columbus, of course - because too many drunks would have tripped over curbs and construction tools in the Streetscape blocks.

+ The Columbus RiverCenter put tickets on sale for "Lord of the Dance" April 17. Someone told me this sort of show shouldn't be in Columbus so soon after "Riverdance." Wait until this man learns the Columbus Symphony actually has
concerts more than once a year.

+ WCGT-TV 16 presented a "Saturday Night Special" version of the gospel music show "Video Inspirations" - including a commercial for Phenix City palm reader Prophetess Mary. Is THAT how the prophets of the Bible were inspired to write those lengthy books?

+ GCW "Hi-Voltage" showed a pro wrestler in Columbus named "The Biohazard." We don't know how many fans with ringside seats passed out, after holding their breath for several minutes....

+ Comer Gymnasium hosted the Georgia state Golden Gloves boxing tournament. Only a couple of miles from there, the phrase "golden gloves" refers to what the dinner servers wear at Green Island Country Club.

+ The Blue team beat the White team in Auburn University's annual "A-Day" football game. But shouldn't we be a bit concerned when the final score of this game is 7-0, while the Cottonmouths won their hockey game 11-5?

(The leading receiver in the A-Day game was someone named Tommy Trott. Only a couple of years ago, Auburn University officials were preparing for something else with this name -- as they chased the head coach out of town.)

+ In an NCAA basketball playoff game WRBL actually broadcast, Alabama was ousted by UCLA 60-59. The Crimson Tide did well, considering they ended the year with only seven healthy scholarship players. Cut down one more, and they'll match Bobby Cremins's old Georgia Tech teams.

(What? What's that your saying? What about Kansas? Uhhhhhh -- all I can say is that the NCAA ban on the Bradley Braves nickname is starting one year too late.)

+ Instant Message to the driver I saw go around TWO cars on Second Avenue, then turn right in front of them at Fourth Street to cross the Oglethorpe Bridge: I don't know where you were going - but I hope you had to stand in line for about 15 minutes once you got there.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, due to our annual serious spring cleaning.)

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for 18 MAR 06: AFTER THE WHAMMYS FALL

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this humorous, serious, or a little of both - but from time to time, we offer things to reflect upon as we keep the seventh-day Sabbath.)

It was sad to learn this past week about the death of Peter Tomarken - the man who hosted the old game show "Press Your Luck." He and his wife died in a Southern California plane crash. But before you get ahead of me - no, I am NOT calling on everyone to wear crash helmets at Thunder in the Valley.

Have you seen "Press Your Luck" in reruns on the Game Show Network? A little bit of knowledge helps - but the lure is how players try to gain as much cash and merchandise as they can, without landing on a "whammy" space. A whammy is like "bankrupt" on Wheel of Fortune - only the cartoon characters who take money are funnier than Pat Sajak.

If you pick up four whammys, you're out of the game on Press Your Luck - but think a minute about this. Are you pressing YOUR luck in life? Are you trying to pile up money, belongings and fame - not thinking that sooner or later, whammys happen? And unless it involves Mohammed, it probably doesn't have cartoons?

It's easy for wiseacres to say Peter Tomarken's death was the fourth whammy for him. But who knows how many whammys each of us have on OUR scoreboards? You lose it all with the last whammy of death. As radio preachers like to say, you've never seen a hearse towing a U-Haul.

Believe it or not, your "game of life" doesn't have to end with the final whammy. There's a way to come back and play another day - and even join in a sort of "tournament of champions." It comes by knowing not a game show host, but the
"Lord of hosts." And He had that title, long before radio and TV were invented.

If you want to keep playing beyond the whammy of death (to borrow from a different game show), you need to get acquainted with this Lord of hosts. The book about Him says He'll eventually destroy death. I have nothing against funeral homes, but I look forward to the day when they're all out of business.

So if you've been putting off all thoughts about the REALLY long-term future, may I suggest taking some time this weekend to consider it. And if you need to make some changes to stay in the ultimate game, do it. Don't press your luck with this - because that last whammy could really sting.

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17 MAR 06: TIDE KICKED

It was brought to my attention Thursday that some people believe this blog picks on WRBL too much. OK, they might have a point -- but some days it's simply irresistible. And with Jerry Laquire no longer on TV and radio, the options are reduced a bit.

So how many calls did the WRBL receptionist have to take Thursday afternoon about college basketball? And which group of callers was tougher -- the Alabama fans wondering about the Crimson Tide? Or the usual women, asking for "The Bold and the Beautiful" instead of the tall and the sweaty?

I'd forgotten Alabama's first game in the NCAA men's basketball tournament was Thursday. Perhaps WRBL did as well, because it showed the Florida game against SOUTH Alabama instead. This should prove once and for all Columbus is NOT the "gateway to Alabama" - it's the gateway to Panama City and Pensacola.

You can't blame the decision to show South Alabama instead of Alabama on that terror scare in San Diego. The Crimson Tide's game was delayed more than an hour, after something suspicious was found inside the arena. It's a shame Aubie had to end his season this way....

You can't blame the lack of an Alabama game on CBS Sports, either. It showed every game of the NCAA tournament - well, maybe. It didn't bother showing the final ten minutes of Washington-Utah State after midnight. Maybe CBS realized Darren Stack needed a little sleep between the late news and 6:00 a.m.

So why did WRBL show Florida-South Alabama, instead of Alabama-Marquette? The explanation I'm hearing is that CBS asked stations to submit a list of games they wanted to show -- and the program director reportedly asked for Florida instead. I assume he's losing in the office pool as well....

It turned out Florida routed the University of South Alabama 76-50, while Alabama won a tight game over Marquette 90-85. So if the WRBL bosses had a hunch, it was wrong -- and if they figured "U.S.A." would get more military veterans to watch, I doubt it.

The good news for Alabama fans is that they have alternatives for watching the Tide in the tourney. Sports bars probably show games from several cities at once -- unless half the screens aren't taken by trivia contests, which seems to be the case more and more....

Besides that, the NCAA basketball tournament is being offered live online this year. There's "live streaming video" - and if some workers aren't careful, they could get in trouble by responding with live screaming audio.

But the sad news for Alabama fans is that no Columbus radio station broadcasts Crimson Tide basketball. WEAM-AM "The Zone" hasn't even bothered to broadcast all the Atlanta Hawks games this season - and I've actually seen someone in this city wearing an Al Harrington jersey. That guy is loyal to a fault....

Now let's finish this quickly before I develop a serious case of March madness -- and I'll be nice to WRBL along the way:

+ The President of the Columbus-based "Hopegivers International" was arrested in India. Samuel Thomas's charity is accused of trying to steer residents from Hinduism to Christianity. If Thomas was arrested, imagine what might happen if Pat Robertson showed up.

+ The Census Bureau reported Chattahoochee County had the biggest population drop in Georgia last year, and one of the biggest in the country. County officials say it was because the Third Brigade was in Iraq - and apparently not because gas became so expensive that a 20-minute commute to Columbus wasn't worth it.

+ WRBL went to Hurtsboro, where about 70 people attended a public forum on improving their town. Given what Constable Bob Schweiger has been saying, I'm amazed so many turned out for an evening activity - unless they all belong to that armed gang.

+ The Georgia Senate voted 38-1 to rescind a day-old resolution honoring Jane Fonda. It was offered to pay tribute to her activism to reduce teenage pregnancy - but for veterans, this is one time where "what have you done for me lately" doesn't matter.

(All Columbus area State Senators voted against honoring Jane Fonda, including Democrat Ed Harbison. I guess this IS an election year in Georgia....)

+ Instant Message to Heather Williams of the Lee County American Cancer Society: What do you mean, Alabama voters should NOT be allowed to decide on a smoking ban at the polls? Aren't the nonsmokers in the majority? Don't you remember all that money Don Siegelman spent on a lottery question -- only to see it lose?

SCHEDULED SATURDAY: Meditations on a whammy....

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16 MAR 06: HANGING BY A THREAD

When you're called into a 5:00 p.m. meeting at work, it can mean many things. It could mean it's your last day on the job, and it's time to clean out the desk. Or it could mean the bosses want to have a "gentlemen's night" at a place on Victory Drive where the cars are parked well off the street.

For employees of the Swift Galey mill on Sixth Avenue, a Wednesday afternoon meeting was more the former than the latter. Managers announced they won't produce their own yarns anymore -- which may well leave this task to fiction writers and bloggers.

The transition to using another company's yarn means the Swift Galey mill at the northeast edge of downtown Columbus will "become vacant." But executives didn't come out and say it will close. So will Kia executives please make their cars at the West Point plant with denim seats?

A vacant plant means as many as 200 Swift Galey employees could lose their jobs. But they might want to look at it as a step up in life. They're making textiles at the mill now, and could be selling them at Kohl's come November.

The dreaded word "outsourcing" was part of the announcement from Swift Galey. But in a switch, this spring the company will start using yarn produced at a spinning mill in North Carolina. Perhaps children in Bangladesh make more money these days than I thought....

Swift Galey executives explained they're trying to cut costs, and it's cheaper to buy yarn from North Carolina than make their own in Columbus. If this seems illogical, consider what I ate for breakfast Wednesday. If I bought all the ingredients for "Yogurt Burst Cheerios" myself, it could get expensive.

While some of the Columbus Swift Galey employees are likely to be laid off, others may be offered jobs with Frontier Spinning in North Carolina. So it's like the game show the late Peter Tomarken hosted -- if you "Press Your Luck" for an extra spin, you might get a crushing whammy.

As you might imagine, many Swift Galey employees were distressed by Wednesday evening's news of possible layoffs. One even wondered why the plant hadn't informed Mayor Poydasheff about it. There's good reason why not - the mayor's running for reelection, and doesn't want to hear that.

It's tempting to blame the problem at Swift Galey and similar mills across the South on Bill O'Reilly. After all, he made the "No-Spin Zone" so popular in this country....

But perhaps it's good that the Swift Galey plant becoming vacant is only a few blocks down the street from the Columbus Chamber of Commerce office. It's all the better for converting the old mill into the Mike Gaymon Office Complex.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION about the Columbus Mayor's race ended Wednesday night, but with no clear consensus. Only 29 percent of our voters say incumbent Bob Poydasheff is unbeatable. But the rest can't agree on the best challenger for him - so maybe we should choose the one with the best NCAA tournament bracket.

Our seven-day, ridiculously non-scientific online poll found 29 percent of voters consider Fraternal Order of Police President Randy Robertson the best challenger for Mayor Poydasheff. He carries a badge, he looks handsome on TV - and he'll find all that fat in city government the mayor simply can't see.

But 14 percent of the vote in our poll went to Columbus Councilor Glenn Davis. I heard his name pop up several weeks ago as a possible candidate for Mayor - but as Davis would tell you from his years in baseball, you can't advance far with a
simple pop-up.

The "other" line for a challenger to Mayor Poydasheff received 29 percent of the score - but we asked voters to leave a comment about who they want to see, and no one did. You don't think former judge Roxann Daniel is planning a sneaky comeback, do you?

Our question was bad news for School Board President Mary Sue Polleys and Columbus Councilor Nathan Suber. NO voters considered them the best challenger for Mayor Poydasheff. This especially stings for Polleys, since I think her husband still has a reserved parking space under the Government Center.

Now let's send some Instant Messages, before our batteries run low....

+ To Columbus gas stations: Aw, c'mon! Ten-cent price hikes two days in a row? You'd think Iran was parading nuclear weapons all over the country or something....

+ To William Howell of the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition: Have you mailed that letter to Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Arlen Specter yet? Did you call his Washington office first? The staff members tell me they usually take meeting requests by fax.

+ To Taylor County High School: It's nice to see you finally had a "Black History Month" program Wednesday - 15 days after the month ended. That Lifetime TV production on the prom which caused the delay was only a movie, you know....

+ To Phenix City Central baseball coach Ron Nelson: Congratulations on your 500^th career win! It must be satisfying to know compared with that high school down U.S. 431, you've never faced rumors of recruiting players from Columbus.

+ To the driver of a minivan with the Georgia license plate "SCRATCH": That's a nice Lincoln you have - so do you really want me to do that to it?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.38 at Citgo, Fifth and Veterans Parkway.... Publix bread for 99 cents, IF there's any left....and my alma mater Kansas to beat Bradley in the basketball playoffs, after watching plenty of tape about big bad Bucknell....

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15 MAR 06: CAMPBELL'S IMPOSSIBILITIES

The Kenneth Walker family may have to pursue its civil suit without attorney Bill Campbell, whether it wants him or not. Tuesday's news indicated Campbell's conviction may cost him his license to practice law in Georgia. Next time, stick to evading the truth with reporters.

. Have you noticed how quiet Columbus civil rights leaders have been about the conviction of Bill Campbell? Only a few days after William Howell of Rainbow/PUSH talked about a meeting with a U.S. Senator about Kenneth Walker, suddenly the 11-month "cooling-off period" seems to be back.

Tuesday's Atlanta Journal-Constitution noted most attorneys voluntarily stop practicing law, after they're convicted of a crime. The fact that there's a precedent for this explains so many lawyer jokes....

The State Bar of Georgia follows strict rules in disbarment cases. Federal prosecutors have to inform the Bar officially of Bill Campbell's conviction for tax evasion -- since those TV stations and newspapers get the facts wrong SO often.

Bill Campbell doesn't have to go quietly from the attorney's office. He could choose to challenge disbarment, before a "special master" of the Georgia State Bar. It's amazing Edward DuBose hasn't called for a change of that title already.

Former Atlanta Mayor Bill Campbell actually calls Florida home these days. Once he's sentenced for tax evasion, his law license in that state will be suspended automatically. But why wait that long? There's apparently no version of Mothers Against Drunk Driving for ethical attorneys.

The attorney for Bill Campbell told an Atlanta radio station the other day the mayor/attorney/convict "has a lot of life left." I wouldn't be surprised if Campbell used that very line on Marion Brooks years ago....

Assuming Bill Campbell escapes prison time for tax evasion, what might he do if he loses his attorney's license? Several job possibilities remain out there:

+ Campbell was considered for the presidency of a North Carolina college several years ago -- so maybe one of those murky online colleges will let him take charge.

+ Join the "posse" of Snoop Dogg, and help him deal with federal "Form Dime Four-shizzle."

+ Appear in commercials for e-Harmony.com - showing the PROPER way to find the woman of your dreams.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We need to catch up on several messages from the last couple of days. Our first one responds to the MACE union protest in Columbus last week:

Hey,don't blame [Superintendent John] Phillips for his mega salary..put the blame where it belongs..the school board gave it to him....remember election time is a coming..

Let's look even farther on the bright side here. A $250,000 salary for the superintendent makes for more complicated problems in local math classes.

MACE probably would agree with this e-mailer. But if the union has a slate of Muscogee County School Board candidates for this year's election, it didn't name names during last week's picket. None are on the union web site, either - so if Randy Robertson isn't quite ready to declare he's running for Mayor....

Remember two years ago, when the Muscogee County Democrats posted a sign urging you to elect "a responsible school board?" They denied that was a suggestion to vote out Superintendent John Phillips, and that has NOT happened. What will they suggest this year - a board with vacuum cleaners, to clean house?

Our next e-mail takes us back to the concerned crowd trying to prevent city cuts at the Gallops Senior Center [28 Feb]:

I wonder how we can afford to build more and more Riverwalk but cannot afford to keep the current Parks and Rec employees we have who are serving PEOPLE each day. My dad met and married his third wife at the Gallops Center and I can tell you those folks take that place seriously.

Ken O'Shields

Thanks for your comment, Ken - and I hope your father didn't meet his first two wives at places the city has shut down.

As I understand it, the city is getting federal grant money for the improvements to the Riverwalk. But after some recent long runs there, rest assured of one thing - it does NOT need to be widened to four lanes.

There's no doubt in my mind that the Gallops crowd takes its senior center seriously. When I heard about the meeting with city officials, I thought of the scene from the 1980's where older people went after a member of Congress who proposed cuts in Social Security. They're armed and dangerous - as in canes and walkers.

We have one more e-mail today, responding to Monday's memorial for Serbian leader/despot Slobodan Milosevic:

True story...My nephew was in Bosnia with the Guard..His duty this day was not to let anyone through a check point without proper papers..I big black car rolls up..He goes up to the driver who can't produce the documents..Some one yells from the back seat and is shaking his fist..My nephew says,"I'm under orders,no one is to advance through this point without the proper papers,turn around."..About this time a heavy set man jumps out of the back seat and starts screaming and yelling..My nephew lifts his rifle..The man gets back in the car ,it turns around and takes off back in the direction it came from...Later that day he sees a photo of Milosevic..yep..that was the loud mouthed old man trying to escape Bosnia...

Wow! Imagine if your nephew had let the car go through -- Slobodan Milosevic might have died a suntanned death in Venezuela or Cuba.

Thanks to all of you who write us -- and now a quick check of other Tuesday developments:

+ Columbus Police were called to the Torch Hill Road area, because someone was drinking behind Our Lady of Lourdes School. This is what happens when they switch from wine to grape juice for mass....

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue briefed reporters about the big Kia plant coming to West Point. He said during more than two years of trips to South Korea, he was impressed by how happy the Kia workers were. Wow - who keeps THEIR vending machines working perfectly?

(Meanwhile, Alabama Governor Bob Riley claims he persuaded Kia to put its plant as close to the state line as possible. It's enough to almost make you wish downtown Columbus hadn't been revitalized.)

+ Columbus Rep. Carolyn "Mrs. City Manager" Hugley told GPB's "Lawmakers" it was good that the Georgia House rejected a faith-based initiative proposal. She said the vote "protected our public schools." From what? Not one priest in our area has been accused of misconduct....

+ Henri's Formal Wear on Warm Springs Road hosted a "Meet the Cottonmouths" night. If you wanted to pick the perfect tuxedo to impress your gal on prom night, wouldn't YOU consult a bunch of hockey players with scraggy beards?

+ Russell County rolled over Eufaula 10-1 in high school baseball. Russell County's transfer player Adam Coe hit three home runs - and if he keeps that up, fans will declare him Coe-lossal.

+ Instant Message to Golden Corral: OK, let's try this again. Wednesday is "Mexican Favorites Night?!" My first choice is Paulina Rubio - and secondly Salma Hayek....

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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14 MAR 06: KIA KRAZY

Instant Message to all radio stations between LaGrange and Auburn: I did some online checking Monday - and from what I can tell, there's still time to change your call letters to W-KIA.

Monday was the day the news sunk in for the Columbus and West Point areas. We're getting a $1.2 billion Kia assembly plant! Well, as long as Kim Jong Il in North Korea doesn't do anything foolish and desperate....

(Longtime blog readers will recall one of our first posts in 2003 declared a personal war on North Korea. Once Kia arrives in West Point, I will declare absolute victory.)

The Kia commitment is SO HUGE that Monday's Ledger-Enquirer had perhaps its biggest front-page headline since the 2003 attack on Iraq. The Valley Times-News sent a photographer to South Korea. And WRBL may be waiting for the Opelika-Auburn News to tell it what people there have to say.

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue will talk with reporters in Atlanta today about the agreement to bring the new car factory to Troup County. Perhaps we'll learn details about what must be the biggest "Kia package" since the Berlin airlift.

But did you hear Don Siegelman's reaction Monday to the Kia announcement? The former Alabama Governor called it a sad day for his state, and a "missed economic opportunity." Mr. Siegelman truly DOES need that education lottery - because he apparently thinks Lanett and Valley are part of Georgia.

Lanett and Valley seem to be thrilled with the news about Kia. Lanett City Manager Joel Holley called it "the fountain of youth" for towns struggling with mill closings. Be careful drinking that Kia water, though - it might be mixed with antifreeze.

Lanett Police Chief Ron Docimo said the Kia plant will allow thousands of job opportunities, which he hopes will stop crime. Apparently he never heard that old Johnny Cash song "One Piece at a Time" - about an auto worker who stole parts and built his own car.

Some people in West Point expressed concern Monday that their home will lose its "small-town feel" because of the giant Kia plant. That talk might stop once they sell their homes at inflated prices, and move to Hamilton.

It's been years since I drove along Interstate 85 past the site of the Kia plant. But someone who's been there says about the only things at Exit 2 in West Point right now are a gas station and a Travelodge motel. If I worked for Waffle House, I'd be on the phone with developers already....

But how much will Columbus benefit from a Kia plant in West Point? The closest Kia dealership to the factory site is Kia Autosport on Box Road -- and employees said they had a lot of phone calls Monday. So how much is Bill Heard offering to buy them out?

Officials from the Columbus Chamber of Commerce plan a trip to South Korea in the next month. They hope to gain one of the secondary factories supplying parts to the Kia plant. Too bad Char-Broil is outsourcing its jobs - because Columbus can't supply grill work now.

Becca Hardin of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce says Kia executives consider Columbus the "urban area" for the West Point plant. Officials in LaGrange might consider that a slap in the face. After all, they'll have a college football team this fall - and an interstate highway with no dead end.

Groundbreaking for the Kia plant is still six weeks away, but it's not too early to start the one-liners....

+ What's the favorite beer of a plant employee? A Kia-stone!

+ What are salespeople told before customers take test drives? "Be Kia-full out there!"

+ What do you call a Georgia native who works at the new plant? :Peachy Kia-n!

Now for other items which made news Monday:

+ The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer was sold, as Knight-Ridder announced McClatchy newspapers will buy the entire chain for $4.5 billion. If McClatchy has this much money to spend, maybe they can invest a little cash into developing newspaper ink which doesn't stick to your hands.

+ The Muscogee County School Board committed itself to build a new Rigdon Road Elementary School by July 2007. The board is reaching for technology grant money to build this school - so if there isn't a wireless Internet "hot zone," we may demand an investigation.

+ Major Steve Warren of the Third Brigade told WDAK radio the soldiers who returned to Fort Benning from Iraq were replaced by only one-third as many troops. Optimists will say that shows the U.S. presence in Iraq is being reduced. Pessimists will argue the new soldiers are three times smarter than ours.

+ A witness tells me WRBL morning anchor Tim Reid referred to fill-in weathercaster Blaine Stewart as a "meteorologist." Maybe Reid meant to call him a "METER-ologist" - you know, someone who reads meters.

+ "Crossover Day" in the Georgia House found Rep. Debbie Buckner giving an impassioned speech in favor of the "morning-after pill." She says women who are raped should NOT have to face pharmacists who "opt out" of dispensing it. I never realized every pharmacist in Georgia was a fundamentalist Baptist.

(This controversial bill in the Georgia House would give pharmacists the right to refuse to dispense abortion drugs for reasons of conscience. Women's groups claim the pharmacists' beliefs are being forced on them - so they want to force their beliefs on the pharmacists instead.)

+ On another matter, the Georgia House approved a proposed state law requiring e-mailers to warn you in advance if their messages are obscene. Well, we all know how successful the NATIONAL law about that has been....

+ The first case of mad cow disease in Alabama was confirmed on a small farm. So why kill the ten-year-old cow? If it's really mad, retrain it to work in rodeo bull riding.

+ My old alma mater Kansas canceled classes, after windstorms and a possible tornado damaged 60 percent of the campus's buildings. A call to a niece in Lawrence, Kansas checking on her well-being brought no response. But it appeared the most important building was spared -- and basketball practice went on.

COMING WEDNESDAY: E-mail about everything from the Riverwalk to Serbia....

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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13 MAR 06: SUPER, TROUPERS

The big news became official Sunday night - Kia will build a big new auto assembly plant in the Troup County town of West Point. So if animals are allowed inside the factory, will they be Kia Pets?

The Ledger-Enquirer reported Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue was in South Korea Monday, signing an agreement which actually was worked out almost a month ago. The state is providing more than $400 million in tax incentives - so who knows how much money might be offered to keep Tim Hudson pitching in Atlanta.

Rumors first surfaced two weeks ago that West Point was in line to get Kia's first U.S. plant. In fact, some people went ahead and sold their property for the factory. I suppose if the rumors proved false, those people would have moved to the REAL location in Mississippi....

Then the evening TV news spotted a work crew last week, collecting soil samples from the proposed plant site. The crew members wouldn't say why - which may raise concerns there's some dirty dealing involved here.

The Ledger-Enquirer reports ground will be broken April 25 for the Kia plant in West Point. Don't the South Koreans realize that timing is a bit off -- three days late for Earth Day?

Kia will come to the economic rescue of West Point, which has lost a lot of mill jobs in recent years. In fact, if the factory isn't built quickly, there might not be any locally-made towels left for the workers to clean their hands.

The new Kia plant reportedly will bring an average annual salary of $50,000. The "over-and-under" of people turning in resignation letters at AFLAC today is 45.

While people in West Point probably are thrilled about a new industry coming to town, some old-timers may be shaking their heads with concern. A company based in South Korea will be the city's biggest employer - and yet lawmakers in Washington are making all that fuss about Dubai?!

The new Kia plant promises to bring at least 3,000 new jobs to West Point. But hold on a second - didn't General Motors and Ford recently announce plans to close factories in metro Atlanta? What's to keep those employees from moving down Interstate 85 and swooping up all the Kia jobs? Oh yeah, I forgot - Kia probably won't have a union.

Let's see who stands to benefit from Kia locating a plant in West Point:

+ Korean War veterans - who now can feel confident their service 50 years ago was worth something in the long run.

+ Knology, which has its main office in West Point. You won't mind a cable channel showing nothing but kung fu films, will you?

+ The Korea House restaurant on Veterans Parkway - as long as it opens a second location in Harris County.

+ GCW Wrestling - since Asian wrestlers who cheat by using karate and throwing salt always bring in a crowd.

While the Kia announcement is good economic news, I hope West Point and Troup County officials learn a lesson from this - and try to diversify the economy, by looking for other businesses to bring in. For instance, does Suzuki need a new motorcycle plant?

Now for other news from Selection Sunday (that's basketball language, if you don't know):

+ The Port Columbus museum marked its fifth anniversary with a weekend celebration called "River Blast." Why Sonic Drive-Ins don't sponsor this, I have no idea....

+ The selections for the NCAA men's basketball tournament found no Georgia teams making the field, while three Alabama colleges did. Will someone please repeat for me why Georgia coach Dennis Felton still has a job, if Ron Jirsa couldn't keep his more than two years?

+ Instant Message to Madman Dan at Bill Heard Chevrolet: Do you yell that loudly ALL the time, like you do in the commercials? Do you have a second job as a Pentecostal preacher?

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: This weekend's death of the notorious Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic reminded us of all the times we mentioned him in the LaughLine era, when we wrote for a national audience. Here's some of what we said:

2 Apr 01: Former Yugoslavian leader Slobodan Milosevic went to jail Sunday, after a tense weekend standoff at his home. Mr. Milosevic told authorities he'd rather die than give up his freedom. But try as he might, he couldn't find a white Ford Bronco to attempt a getaway....

Slobodan Milosevic pleaded NOT guilty Sunday to charges of government corruption, embezzlement and "abuse of power." That's technically true, of course. He abused Croatians, Kosovars, Bosnians - but NOT power.

Yugoslavian officials describe Slobodan Milosevic's jail cell as less than maximum security. For instance, he can receive donations of clothes and shoes. We assume Imelda Marcos can bring her lawyer as well, to offer advice.

It's not clear yet where Slobodan Milosevic will stand trial. Many countries want him tried at a War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague. Right now, they fear Yugoslavia's government will try him in "the vague."

Former Yugoslavian envoy Richard Holbrooke told CBS News Slobodan Milosevic is a gambler: "He started four wars, and he lost them all." It's hard to believe such a big loser is getting so much attention - well, other than the Chicago Cubs.

3 Apr 01: Secretary of State Colin Powell approved 50 million dollars in extra financial aid for Yugoslavia Monday. This may set a record, as the biggest reward for a single arrest in U.S. history.

Many skeptics believe Yugoslavia's government finally arrested former President Slobodan Milosevic because U.S. financial aid was in the balance. So? That government simply did what any good county sheriff's office does - find a way to make its budget.

Yugoslavian officials displayed a number of weapons Monday, which supposedly were in Slobodan Milosevic's house. It included several rifles and hand grenades. Defense attorneys are prepared to explain Mr. Milosevic was preparing for a new career, hosting U.S. gun and knife shows.

Slobodan Milosevic now spends his days in an eight-square-foot jail cell in Yugoslavia. The former President has to get permission even to have a book! How is he going to reread "Mein Kampf," and figure out where he went wrong?

13 Apr 01: Doctors in Yugoslavia announced Thursday Slobodan Milosevic has NO sign of heart disease. Of course, it took them several hours to determine the former leader even had a heart at all....

Slobodan Milosevic was taken to a Yugoslavian military hospital Wednesday, claiming he had chest pains. Serbian doctors determined his only health problem is high blood pressure. We know how that happened - all the high pressure he put on Croatians, Bosnians and Kosovo Albanians.

Yugoslavia's Socialist Party wants Slobodan Milosevic freed from prison for health reasons. The party argues he's "exposed to unbearable conditions" - such as people actually criticizing him to his face.

Today's language lesson: if you ever forget how to pronounce the name of the former Yugoslavian leader, remember -- "Slobodan Milosevic" sounds a lot like "Slow me down for lots of fish."

29 Jun 01: Slobodan Milosevic was flown to a Dutch prison Thursday night, after Yugoslavia finally turned him over to a United Nations war crimes' court. We hear he wouldn't allow this until his new jail cell received a thorough ethnic cleansing.

Yugoslavia's government had talked of putting Slobodan Milosevic on trial in that country first - with a U-N trial later. The trouble is, the former President would have to get in line behind all the soldiers accused of "crimes against humanity." Twenty years is a long time to wait for a trial....

(Today's deep question: Is it only coincidence that the initials in Slobodan Milosevic's name can be turned into "S-and-M?")

The handing over of Slobodan Milosevic made some people angry in Belgrade. A few began shoving and beating television news crews in the streets. Apparently Yugoslavia has its own version of that new show, "Spy TV...."

ABC News noted by moving from Yugoslavia to the Netherlands, Slobodan Milosevic is "trading up." He'll have a bigger jail cell - and the Dutch cell comes complete with satellite television! Mr. Milosevic will have plenty of time to watch The History Channel, and check how he did compared with Adolf Hitler.

(Can you believe that - a prison where inmates can watch satellite TV? It makes us long for a channel that shows nothing but "COPS" 24 hours a day.)

2 Jul 01: The U.S. government has pledged 181 million dollars in aid to Yugoslavia - now that the government has turned over Slobodan Milosevic for trial. Mr. Milosevic has to be humiliated by this. He's accused in the slaughter of thousands of people - but he's still not as valuable as Alex Rodriguez.

Yugoslavia's Prime Minister resigned, to protest the surrender of Slobodan Milosevic for a United Nations war crimes trial. The Prime Minister called the turnover "illegal" - which is a bit like converting to animal rights after leading years of fox hunts.

Slobodan Milosevic reportedly called his family from his new prison cell in the Netherlands - and claimed he'd been kidnapped. At least we know where HE is. With too many Kosovo Albanians, we don't....

4 Jul 01: Former Yugoslavian leader Slobodan Milosevic went before United Nations war crime judges Tuesday -- and refused to have any attorneys represent him. Hasn't this man ever heard of Johnnie Cochran?!

Slobodan Milosevic used his preliminary hearing to make political statements. He declared the U.N. War Crimes Tribunal "illegal," since the members were not appointed by the General Assembly. The Milosevic trial probably WOULD be more
interesting if his judges were from Rwanda or Cambodia....

When a U.N. War Crimes Judge offered to read the indictment against Slobodan Milosevic, the former President replied, "That's your problem!" Wow, Mr. Milosevic is young at heart - about the age of a rebellious, wisecracking 15-year-old.

(It turns out the war crimes indictment was posted in Slobodan Milosevic's jail cell in the Netherlands for the last several days -- but that satellite TV had to be a lot more interesting.)

Slobodan Milosevic contended the only crime he committed was "standing up to NATO" in Yugoslavia -- and NATO countries are the real war criminals. He brings up a good point. WAS any U.S. pilot ever punished, for dropping bombs on the Chinese embassy in Belgrade?

19 Sep 01: United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan toured "ground zero" in Manhattan - and declared that sort of terrorism "can happen anywhere." People across Europe heard this, and were thankful Slobodan Milosevic never bought an airline.

12 Feb 02: Former Yugoslavian President Slobodan Milosevic goes on trial for genocide today.... [Mr.] Milosevic plans to defend himself against genocide charges -- without using any attorneys. It's probably just as well. He's the sort of fellow who wouldn't laugh at Johnnie Cochran's poems, anyway.

We heard one estimate that this United Nations trial for Slobodan Milosevic could take two YEARS. No wonder he decided against hiring defense lawyers. This is one time when courtroom interpreters will get paid the most money.

Slobodan Milosevic has given lengthy speeches at earlier hearings in The Hague. He claims the United Nations tribunal lacks the authority to put him on trial. That's strange -- Mr. Milosevic never asked who had the authority to kill all those Bosnians.

Have you heard about Slobodan Milosevic's list of possible defense witnesses? He wants former President Clinton to testify at his trial! [True] We doubt this strategy will work, since the jury's not full of middle-aged low-income women.

(Do you think Slobodan Milosevic will call Bill Clinton to the witness stand simply to lecture him? Bob Barr, Trent Lott and Kenneth Starr would hurry across the Atlantic to see that....)

15 Feb 02: Former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic began his opening statement in his genocide trial. Among other things, he claimed NATO's bombing campaign a couple of years ago hit more schools and hospitals than tanks. Then again, Mr. Milosevic probably asked for it - by ordering officers to park the tanks in "fire lanes."

26 Jul 02: A medical expert told the war crimes trial of Slobodan Milosevic the former Serbian President has a severe risk of heart attacks. This shocked the courtroom in The Hague - since prosecutors have spent weeks trying to prove he was heartless.

22 Jul 02: Former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic was ordered to rest, after doctors at his war crimes trial found his blood pressure reading was "240 over 120." Boy, did we misunderstand this! We heard those numbers for Milosevic, and thought they were some sort of death count.

6 Sep 02: U.S. basketball hit another new low Thursday night. The team filled with N.B.A. stars lost for the second night in a row, and was eliminated from the world championships in Indianapolis.... Yugoslavia beat the U.S. basketball team 81-to-78 in the quarterfinal round.... Perhaps Yugoslavia had a special motivation to beat the U.S. team -- and posted pictures of Slobodan Milosevic in their lockers.

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

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12 MAR 06: CHILL BILL VOLUME ONE

How much stranger could the Kenneth Walker case be? The former deputy who shot Walker remains uncharged with any crime - while one of the Walker family's attorneys now could go to prison for years....

Which Columbus Saturday night newscast declared former Atlanta Mayor Bill Campbell was "off the hook" - even though he was convicted on three counts of tax evasion? You almost get the feeling some Democrat political activist put that on the screen.

After thinking it over, maybe the Columbus newscast's "off the hook" declaration is right after all. I expect Bill Campbell will receive probation for tax evasion, just as fellow Democratic Mayor Henry Cisneros did for several crimes in the 1990's. Cisneros is now a TV network executive - so Bill Campbell may get his own show on B.E.T.

There was no word Saturday on whether Bill Campbell would remain on the legal team of Kenneth Walker's family, in its huge civil suit against the city. There also was no word on whether David Glisson's attorney would demand Campbell appear at all future court proceedings in an orange jumpsuit.

It actually was a split decision late Friday, in the federal corruption trial of Bill Campbell. The former mayor was acquitted of corruption and racketeering charges, but convicted of tax evasion -- and if adultery still was against the law, he'd be facing a life sentence.

Federal prosecutors used the corruption trial to expose all sorts of sins about Bill Campbell. The steamiest one was that the former Atlanta Mayor cheated on his wife, with former Atlanta news anchor Marion Brooks. She moved on, to be an anchor in Chicago. He may move on to a federal prison in Alabama.

The Bill Campbell affair with Marion Brooks was the hottest rumor in Georgia journalism for years. I heard it from journalists in Atlanta, yet no one ever gave me proof to bring it out in the open. In short, there's no Matt Drudge in Georgia right now....

Marion Brooks admitted to the adulterous affair with Bill Campbell on the witness stand. Yet for some reason, her Chicago TV station never mentioned it in newscasts. Hey, that reminds me -- this week marks one year since the WRBL pregnancy discrimination trial.

(The Chicago TV station's web site even noted at one point its Marion Brooks biography was its most popular page. How many visitors were disappointed to learn she's now married and pregnant?)

Prosecutors used Marion Brooks and other witnesses to claim Bill Campbell accepted bribes while Atlanta Mayor, and used the cash for adulterous trips. What have we come to in this country, when credit cards are considered more respectable than cash money?

Would Columbus news media cover up a scandal involving a news anchor? Actually, there was one in the late 1990's - when former anchor Patricia Hargarten was arrested for drunk driving on Veterans Parkway. Let's just say there are times when the Ledger-Enquirer is allowed to break a story....

Several jurors in the Bill Campbell trial told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Saturday they came very close to finding him guilty of racketeering. But confusion about the date of a cash exchange saved him. It's a wonder Campbell didn't get confused about all HIS dates.

One juror told the Atlanta newspaper of the corruption charges against Bill Campbell: "we kind of figured he was guilty, but they couldn't prove it so we couldn't convict." That's funny -- "kind of figured" is good enough for right-wing radio talk shows.

Bill Campbell declared outside the federal court the acquittal on racketeering charges restored his honor. Apparently three counts of tax evasion are something everybody does -- but the Internal Revenue Service can only audit so many people at a time.

When Bill Campbell first was elected Mayor of Atlanta, the song played at his victory party was the soul classic, "Don't Mess With Bill." If there's a lesson from this seven-week trial, perhaps Mr. Campbell shouldn't do any messing, either....

But what will the family of Kenneth Walker do? It can't help your cause in a civil lawsuit to have an attorney at the table who's been convicted of felonies. But then again, it can't help the defense to have a law officer at the table who hasn't been able to find work for two years.

BLOG UPDATE: If you missed the MACE protest outside Carver High School this past week [8 Mar], pictures are now posted on the teachers union's web site. The pictures and captions are so self-promoting, they never mention the school principal still has his job.

The photo gallery reveals something I didn't realize - MACE actually staged TWO protests in Columbus this past week. A second one was held in an unstated location, demanding the firing of Muscogee County Superintendent John Phillips. If the group had given some advance notice, that might have drawn a big crowd....

There's even a photo of the protesters enjoying an "after the picket dinner" at the home of the father of MACE chair John Trotter. If mom and dad are cooking dinner, you have to ask why this union isn't protesting for pay raises.

Now for some closing thoughts from a weekend which feels more like May than March:

+ Potential developers examined plans to build a marina complex near the Oxbow Meadows science center on South Lumpkin Road. City officials say it will be called the "Oxbow Meadows Marina" - an announcement which must have ruined Al Fleming's dreams.

+ Russell County Constable Bob Schweiger made his second appearance on WRBL in three weeks, and claimed "armed gangs roam the streets at night" in Hurtsboro. In a town that small, an "armed gang" could be defined as two or three people.

(But this time, WRBL actually talked to someone else in Hurtsboro - and a local attorney accused Constable Bob Schweiger of having "racial tendencies." What does that phrase mean? Does he listen to country music all day?)

+ Alabama State Representative Albert Hall warned if anyone else takes his parking spot at the state Capitol, he'll deflate their tires. [True/WTVM] Of course, all you'd have to do is ask other lawmakers for help - as their hot air could reinflate them in no time.

+ Columbus High and Russell County had a long-awaited baseball showdown - at a tournament in LaGrange. Excuse me, but isn't there enough money in the city budget for extra staffing at Golden Park?

(Russell County won the big game 5-3 over Columbus, and a transfer student from Columbus scored one of Russell County's runs. But I want to check the box score for something else - how many times the transfers were caught stealing.)

+ GCW Wrestling featured a special guest appearance by "The Total Package," Lex Lugar. Some of us can remember when the "total package" meant a rental car for your vacation.

+ Instant Message to the driver of a Toyota 4x4 who passed me on Victory Drive with the Alabama license plate "HPY2BHR": NC2CU2.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.17 a gallon at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive.... milk for $2.50 a gallon at Spectrum.... and the Harlem Globetrotters to beat whomever they're playing today at the Civic Center....

COMING MONDAY: Our tribute (?) to the late Slobodan Milosevic....

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10 MAR 06: THE N.H.T.

If you watched "CSI: New York" the other night, you should understand our title. If you didn't, here's a clue - it has something to do with Opelika High School, a boxing match at the Trade Center, chicken tenders and fish sandwiches. No, high school students were NOT competing for lunch....

All these items are examples of "the Next Hot Thing" - or at least the promoters of these things hope they are. Just in time for spring, new ideas are bursting forth all over. And I'm not even including Blaine Stewart doing weather forecasts.

Let's take the items in order, starting with Opelika. The school board there voted Thursday to demolish the current high school, and build a new one. You can tell which cities do NOT have influential historic foundations....

Opelika City School officials had been talking about renovating the high school for about $10 million. Instead, they surprised the school board by proposing a new school costing about $20 million. Those officials can expect a call from Rigdon Road Elementary today, asking how they did it so quickly.

Because this is a city school district, a new Opelika High School will require financing approval from the city council. Let's see if the council learns a lesson from Columbus - and brings everyone together to gripe about how it wasn't given 24 hours' notice.

Opelika school officials say they decided to bulldoze the high school because several areas of it aren't up to city code. Take the school gym - where this season the basketball team wasn't even up to beating Auburn High.

Did you know some classrooms at Opelika High School don't have light switches? This district must have been VERY poor when the school opened - with no reason even to dim lights for filmstrips.

Opelika High School is 35 years old, and now school officials want to tear it down and replace it. If this seems strange to you, remember one thing - Atlanta's old baseball stadium was torn down in about 32.

Not everything will be torn down at Opelika High School. Some sections will be kept as is, including the Opelika Center for the Performing Arts - the place which staged "Our Sinatra" one night after the RiverCenter did last weekend, only it didn't have the budget to really tell anybody.

Since the new Opelika High School will be built on the site of the current one, there's going to be a challenge transition. Officials say they'll need about 60 portable classrooms to teach students for a year. These teenagers aren't smart enough to suggest a college faculty-style sabbatical.

(Can you imagine a high school made up of 60 portable classrooms? Former Governor Don Siegelman probably wishes the construction work started today, so he can pose in Opelika for a campaign issue.)

N.H.T. number two may have developed at the Trade Center Thursday - as two members of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce engaged in a mock boxing match. Whatever happened to those regular monthly cards at the Civic Center, anyway?

The boxing match was staged to kick off the Chamber of Commerce's annual membership drive. This year's goal is $102,000 - or 34,000 burgers, fries and frosties, if Wendy's caters the lunches for the next several years.

The winner of the Chamber of Commerce mock boxing match was Stella Shulman. I think she now advances to be the first "Great Championship Wrestling Diva."

The last two N.H.T. items really go together. Without planning it, I stumbled upon "Free Chicken Tender Day" Thursday at the Arby's on Manchester Expressway. I think the word "free" on the sign prevented an animal rights protest....

Arby's indeed was giving away chicken tenders to customers for eight hours. So of course, I HAD to change my plans and stop for a visit. Free food for a single guy is a no-risk version of "Win for Life."

I wasn't sure if the visit would bring an early dinner or not -- and it didn't. Arby's was giving out ONE free chicken tender per customer. That way, the restaurant saved on LEGAL tender....

With a little cup of ranch sauce which was far too much for this dipping project, the chicken tender was very meaty and nice. But something didn't seem right here. A traditional "roast beef sandwich" restaurant serving chicken tenders? Chick-fil-A doesn't dare sell hamburgers.

I'd been puzzling well before Thursday about Arby's adding a fish sandwich to its menu. Church's Chicken has done the same thing in recent weeks -- both places going against their traditional images. You almost want to ask if the fish they're offering were caught while swimming upstream.

So which of these N.H.T. candidates is most likely to be the REAL next hot thing? I'd guess Opelika High School is likely to win -- unless they forget to make part of the new building a wireless Internet "free zone."

BLOG UPDATE: Well, what do you know - some people actually LIKED the James Taylor concert at the RiverCenter. We received a lengthy note of praise about it Thursday. It was in the RiverCenter's e-mail newsletter, but still....

The RiverCenter's weekly "e-ssential news" described James Taylor's appearance as very nice and likeable. But the intimate format and display of photos by Taylor brought a comparison to "someone's goofy Uncle Carl." or was that a reference to his frequent breaks, as if he needed to use the restroom?

The RiverCenter's newsletter confirmed James Taylor used a videotaped chorus for some of his songs - and one member of the chorus was his wife. I do hope he doesn't have to write any cheating songs, when the tour's over.

Now other sharp notes (get it?) which passed our way Thursday:

+ Superior Court Judge Bobby Peters confirmed to your blog he's moved out of his First Avenue home, across the street from the Government Center. He's leased the house to attorney Alex Byars - but sorry, single ladies: I did NOT get the judge's new address.

(My regular drives up First Avenue are going to be MUCH more boring now. I can't check to see if Judge Bobby Peters has sold his classic Thunderbird - and my chances of meeting attractive "constituents" will go way down.)

+ Gas prices in Columbus took a surprising six-cent drop, to a low of $2.19 per gallon. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who isn't afraid of the President of Iran, Mr. -- how do you spell it? - Mr. A-madman-jihad.

+ The WLTZ-TV web site posted an e-mail from NBC, addressing rumors about an upcoming episode of "Will and Grace." No, it will NOT have a joke about eating "cruci-fixins." But then again, the fact that it's mentioned on the web site sort of defeats the purpose of the warning, doesn't it?

+ The Georgia Senate voted 55-0 to establish 500-foot limits on protests outside funerals. Please leave the arguments about the will for the attorney's office afterward....

(This bill is in response to the traveling protests by Fred Phelps's controversial congregation in Kansas. I didn't know until Thursday this group marched outside the funeral for Coretta Scott King, and declared she was in h**l with her late husband. I thought they attended Ebenezer BAPTIST Church.)

+ Auburn, Georgia and Georgia Tech all lost in conference men's basketball tournaments. We'd like to thank the Atlanta Hawks for setting them all such an inspiring example this past season....

. + Instant Message to whomever left an upside-down bicycle on one of the Benning Park racquetball courts: That's a clever hiding place, I'll grant you that. Or are you trying to bring Georgia's Governor down to Columbus, to get him hurt again?

COMING SOON: Is Columbus going to have too many books?....

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9 MAR 06: PUSH TO THE BRINK

When I heard there was a news conference Wednesday on the Kenneth Walker case, several thoughts went through my mind. Might the Walker family be ready to settle its civil suit against the city? Might civil rights groups dare to call another boycott - figuring sooner or later, one of them HAS to work?

It turns out the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition had something else to announce. President William Howell displayed a letter to the chair of the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee, asking for a meeting on the Kenneth Walker case. As if this civil rights group doesn't have paid Washington lobbyists....

Dr. William Howell hopes to meet with Senate Judiciary Chair Arlen Specter within a couple of weeks - and he says Rainbow/PUSH will take a "delegation" to Washington when that happens. So why weren't any local elected officials at the news conference? Is this "Poor People's March II?"

Dr. William Howell says his group has sent letters to the F.B.I., Justice Department and the U.S. Attorney's office, seeking an indictment in the Kenneth Walker case. But he says the letters have "never been addressed." Apparent translation: they said no.

(Someone told me Wednesday if the letters have "never been addressed," that explains everything -- because you need addresses to get the letters delivered.)

In the words of Rainbow/PUSH's William Howell: "We are tired of writing letters, so we thought we would write a letter to the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee." If you're REALLY tired of writing letters, you might make a phone call instead....

William Howell is trying Senate Judiciary Chair Arlen Specter because he's "the person that controls the entire pot." So when in doubt, you try to get the Justice Department's funding cut -- and then it can't investigate plenty of other cases, much less Kenneth Walker.

William Howell admits he hopes a meeting in Washington with Sen. Arlen Specter will bring national attention to the shooting of Kenneth Walker 27 months ago. But S.O.A. Watch lobbies in Washington one day a year -- and it only gets national attention when Martin Sheen shows up outside Fort Benning.

I heard William Howell's comments and thought of one word - desperation. It's obvious he's run into closed doors, trying to get former Deputy David Glisson indicted or a new grand jury called. Now Rainbow/PUSH is in the awkward position of begging for a meeting with a fairly conservative Republican.

But hey, wait a minute! The son of Rainbow/PUSH national leader Jesse Jackson is a U.S. House member from Illinois. Why isn't HE twisting some arms for a review of the Kenneth Walker case? You'd think he'd want to keep up with Barack Obama....

A number of other questions were left in my head, after watching William Howell on the evening news:

+ Why weren't other civil rights leaders with him at the news conference? Are they waiting for the civil suit to go to trial - or are they all worried defense attorney Bill Campbell will be found guilty of corruption in Atlanta?

+ Has Rainbow/PUSH tried to contact area Senators, in their quest for an indictment? Alabama's Jeff Sessions is a Judiciary Committee member - but maybe Phenix City has too many Democrats for him to care.

+ Whatever happened to the appeal to Georgia Attorney General Thurbert Baker? Is he too busy looking for gas stations with $4.99 a gallon on their pumps?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION was updated Wednesday night, and now thinks about city politics. As you may have heard, Mayor Bob Poydasheff is running for re-election. If you haven't heard that, he hopes to appear on radio talk shows about once a week from now through July.

I haven't heard anyone else announce a campaign for Mayor - so I came up with some potential candidates, and ask you which one might be most successful against Bob Poydasheff. You also can offer another name, or reject them all and give the Mayor a second term right now. Talk about advance voting, and early returns....

As for the old Big Blog Question about beer.... hey, what do you know! That's a B.B.Q. with beer! People tend to like that combination in Columbus....

But anyway: the beer question was unanimous - seven votes for cold beer, none for warm. One woman told me warm beer is like warm diet cola. I suppose both of them WOULD wake you to your senses.

One voter in the beer question smelled something fishy here, and left this comment:

Is this question part of a plot by Barry Merrill to avoid paying the electrical bill for keeping his beers cold? If he could convince everyone that warm beer was better, he could save enough to buy three more Dunkin Donuts franchises!

An interesting guess, but a wrong one. I've never met "B. Merrill," unless he came to my table during dinner without my knowing it. Besides, warm beer with spicy chicken wings probably wouldn't work too well.

I didn't realize B. Merrill owned the Dunkin Donuts shop next door to his restaurant on Manchester Expressway. They share a parking lot - and come to think of it, some people could spend hours there on weekend mornings. Wait in line for donuts, then walk over and get in line for lunch....

BLOG UPDATE: Blaine Stewart was back on weather duty at WRBL Wednesday - and now we know why. Your blog has learned News 3 is down to one healthy meteorologist. If Darren Stack gets his forecast wrong and gets caught in a rainstorm, this could be real trouble.

Sources in the know tell me WRBL Chief Meteorologist Jeff Donald is off the air due to surgery, and weekend weathercaster Bryan Bennett has left the station. We wish Bennett well on tour, at Lyle Lovett look-alike contests.

By the way, WRBL apparently has lost its nightly 7:00 p.m. news rebroadcast on WCGT. Now that the Christian Television Network owns TV-16, it's showing a talk show with Jim Bakker instead. I'm not sure this is a step up in credibility or not....

Now for other selected passages from the Wednesday news scroll:

+ The evening news spotted a work crew taking soil samples in West Point, on the site of a proposed Kia auto plant. But the workers refused to say why they were there. Maybe we're going to have a debate over Georgia's official state dirt after all.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue needed stitches on his eyebrow, after tripping and hitting a wall while playing racquetball. Maybe I've finally found a racquetball opponent - for the right-sized campaign donation, of course.

+ The Georgia Legislature marked "Peanut Butter and Jelly Day" at the state Capitol. A peanut mascot was there, along with pageant queens - but where was the "fair and balanced" coverage here? GPB's "Lawmakers" never interviewed anyone representing Smuckers jelly.

+ Instant Message to the Atlanta Hawks: Nice try with that spin, talking about having a 20-win season. Trouble is, you don't play college basketball -- you're in the N.B.A.

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8 MAR 06: MACE OUT OF PLACE?

The timing certainly threw some people - as a protest line formed Tuesday afternoon outside Carver High School. A few thought students had walked out of class. A few wondered if it had anything to do with the deadly shooting of a student. And a few probably figured the Carver-Spencer football game promotions were starting already.

But what happened outside Carver High School actually was none of the above. Six adults from a group called MACE came to Columbus from suburban Atlanta, to call for the firing of the school principal. But they were so orderly, police didn't need to use mace against them.

Most people in Columbus probably aren't familiar with MACE, but people in Atlanta might be. It's the "Metro Association of Classroom Educators" - and it is to schools a bit like what People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is to restaurants. Well, except MACE members don't wear bikinis....

MACE Chair John Trotter claims several Carver High School teachers have complained to his group about Principal Chris Lindsey. Who knows how long the picket line might have been, if the student complaints had been counted....

It's not clear to me exactly why Carver High School teachers are complaining about their principal. One protest sign shown on TV said, "Stop the Violence" - but c'mon now. Do they really expect Chris Lindsey to follow students to tire stores after school?

It's also not clear whether the MACE protest was in response to the shooting death of Carver High School student Taquan Pace last week. The demonstration didn't go on to Kendrick and Spencer High Schools -- so it couldn't have anything to do with the basketball playoffs.

I heard two different opinions Tuesday night about the MACE protest. One woman agreed that it's time for Principal Chris Lindsey to go, claiming he suspends students without any input from parents. The boy who brings brass knuckles to school might simply need them for metalworking class.

But a man told me Carver High School's Principal used to be an assistant principal at Shaw, and had no problems there. "Shouldn't we trust the school board to know the people it's promoting?" he asked. After the reassignment of Russell County High School's principal the other day, maybe not....

This man also was annoyed that an organization based in the Atlanta suburb of Fayetteville came down to Columbus to protest a principal. He likened it to Jesse Jackson's appearance last year at the big civil rights rally downtown. And come to think of it, does Fort Benning REALLY need all those extra soldiers?

A check of the MACE web site revealed it has concerns about other principals in Muscogee County schools. Two of them are listed as "administrators who need improvement," including Wynnton Elementary's Nancy Johnson. I thought she was keeping those historic artifacts very well....

(WARNING: the MACE site admittedly also uses some rough language, in describing one metro Atlanta school superintendent. Apparently the phrase which starts with "candy" is the opposite of "bootylicious")

MACE accepts the label "radical teachers' union," and seems ready to accuse any administrator who does something improper. In fact, principals are BARRED from joining the group. How can this union have long-term office space, without any principal - and negative interest on top of that?

E-MAIL UPDATE: We don't often get advance notice that a joke is coming, but this is an exception:

I know you enjoy a good laugh now and then, especially at my expense. So this should give you a good chuckle. Check out our noon newscast tomorrow. Particularly the weather segments.

Hope all is well!

Blaine

Yes, that was Blaine Stewart you might have seen Tuesday presenting the weather on WRBL. Instead of a "First Alert," this was a fourth option....

From what I saw, Blaine Stewart didn't do that badly with the weather maps and forecast. Who knows, he might be WRBL's next Mitzi Oxford - someone who's a meteorologist in name only.

Instant Message to another e-mailer who claims we "piggyback" a lot of our blog items from WRBL: Well, we find our material anywhere we can. Some days it comes from phone calls, some days from TV newscasts - and who knows, we may have a big expose coming on "Southern Views" magazine.

Now for other little piggies that ate roast beef on Tuesday - or at least I think that's how it goes:

+ Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff appeared on WDAK radio's "Viewpoint" talk show, and declared drivers who run red lights are "stupid." How many male voters can this man afford to lose, in an election year?

(Mayor Poydasheff was in a tough-talking mood, because he also declared S.O.A. Watch protesters "silly, and academically dishonest." Maybe he's trying to get his own talk show, in case he doesn't get reelected.)

+ Viewpoint host/Chamber of Commerce President Mike Gaymon declared last weekend's James Taylor concert "great." But Gaymon asked Mayor Poydasheff what he might do about people who bought large blocks of dozens of tickets. I'd suggest making them do the same thing for Columbus Catfish baseball games.

+ Port Columbus officials admitted they're going to add something they didn't want to have -- electronic "touch screens." Executive Director Bruce Smith explained today's museum visitors want to be entertained as they learn. That could explain why Big Bird never stands at a chalkboard on "Sesame Street."

(The Historic Chattahoochee Commission reports attendance at Port Columbus dropped 14 percent last year. But West Point Lake had more visitors - which must mean boaters no longer fear attacks by Union warships.)

+ WXTX "News at Ten" revealed the Landings Shopping Center on Airport Thruway soon will have a Fuddruckers restaurant. I've eaten at this chain in metro Atlanta and Myrtle Beach, and it's a fun place to eat gourmet hamburgers. But this is one time I hope the sign company spells the name right....

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7 MAR 06: SOUR BABY JAMES

Monday may well be the favorite day of the week for people to gripe and grumble. I've often wondered why more radio stations don't mark the end of the weekend by playing the Pretenders' song "Back on the Chain Gang."

I heard several people complain Monday about something unexpected -- the James Taylor concert at the RiverCenter. They said Saturday night's performance left them disappointed. They've seen fire and they've seen rain - and to them, this was more like a cold shower.

Since I didn't attend the James Taylor concert (I only jogged by the RiverCenter, during my five-mile run), I'm going on what the people who were there stated. One said he had $85 seats down front, and expected more than Taylor and one other musician. Apparently the only "light show" occurred when the house was dimmed.

(Come to think of it, I should have asked this man if the $85 seats are more comfortable than the ones in the balcony. Does the chair have extra padding? Is there a hidden footrest that folds out?)

This man admitted he wasn't familiar with most of the songs in James Taylor's first set. Someone should have told Taylor to stop learning new songs and quit making CD's about 15 years ago....

Another complaint was that James Taylor's sets were too short, taking a break after only a few songs. The man speculated the RiverCenter may require this, so it can sell drinks in the lobby. I think he was kidding, but....

Then there was the way the James Taylor concert ended -- with at least two "encores." One customer contended Taylor should have played another set of music, instead of milking the crowd in this way. But if he can get to the late-night party at The Firehouse early, why not?

"If you're going to quit at 10:30, fine," one concertgoer said -- but apparently James Taylor stretching out the encores did not impress that person. Of course, younger listeners might note Taylor stretches out ALL his songs. The doo-wop version of "Candy Man" was much easier for dancing.

Maybe the complaints go all the way back to how the RiverCenter handled the James Taylor concert. The Ledger-Enquirer discovered members of Taylor's fan club were offered tickets before the general public. If you didn't know better, you'd think President Bush was visiting Columbus.

But the box office record shows James Taylor's concert at the RiverCenter was a sellout. In fact, I heard one report of scalpers offering $150 for tickets on Broadway before the show. Trouble is, all the beggars there claim they want is a dollar for a cheeseburger.

Based on what I heard Monday, your blog hereby posts some suggestions for James Taylor. The next time he comes to Columbus, he needs to....

+ Have some good-looking dancers on stage. But don't borrow any from Motley Crue, or he'll get in trouble with police.

+ Learn a lesson from the "Sunny 100 FM" van which was parked outside the RiverCenter that night. Only play songs people know - and if they're Christmas songs, even better.

+ Lower the ticket prices, if he's going to have an acoustic show. Surely the top-floor rooms at the downtown Marriott can't be THAT expensive.

(BLOG BLAH BLAH: Did you attend the James Taylor concert? Write us with your impressions, good or bad.)

Now that we've showered a singer we love with - well, constructive criticism - let's move to items from Monday:

+ Gas prices across Columbus jumped about ten cents a gallon for the second week in a row. You can always tell it's spring when the cost of driving starts budding higher and higher.

+ Opelika police announced the arrest of four teens and young adults, who allegedly fired pellet guns at people along Pepperell Parkway. We'll see if any of them try the Dick Cheney defense - you know, that it was all an accident.

+ Alabama first lady Patsy Riley visited Lakewood Elementary School in Phenix City, and read kindergarten students the book "The Little Engine That Could." Then she went to Smiths Station and read for Republicans the horror story, "Help! There's a Roy Moore on My Ballot!"

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue said he'll travel to Texas, and try to persuade AT&T executives to move their headquarters to Atlanta. While he's out, how about a side trip to Charlotte - to get on his knees, and beg NASCAR to change its mind about the Hall of Fame?

+ TV talk show host Montel Williams visited the Georgia state capitol, to discuss prescription drug assistance. Do you think he calls psychic Sylvia Browne before all his road trips, to check for flight delays?

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6 MAR 06: FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Sunday marked the beginning of the end of an era, for telephone users across this area. AT&T confirmed it plans to buy BellSouth for $67 billion. For some die-hard Southerners, it must feel like the North is buying out the end of the Civil War.

If AT&T does what it did with Southwestern Bell/SBC and Pacific Telecom, the BellSouth name will disappear after a merger. It will only prove what many of us have feared for years - the era of the "Southern Bell" has passed.

The buyout of BellSouth raises some questions about future services. For instance, the company guarantees "DSL Fast Access" for $24.95 every month. Now that commercial guy in the plastic bubble may have run into a solid-gold razor wire fence.

One report indicated the buyout of BellSouth will mean the end of Cingular Wireless, as AT&T Wireless replaces it in a phaseout. That X symbol looked so flexible for so long - and now it may be headed for X-tinction.

The takeover of BellSouth will give AT&T a company with 360,000 total employees. Somewhere inside the AFLAC tower today someone will say, "We're working on that -- and we're taking applications from future downsized BellSouth workers now."

Executives with AT&T and BellSouth say a corporate merger will mean two billion dollars in savings per year. I didn't realize wireless roaming fees were that expensive these days....

The combination of AT&T and BellSouth will mean a combined 70 million long-distance phone customers, and about ten million broadband customers. If they can put the two together, Vonage might have grounds for an antitrust suit.

But some consumer groups fear AT&T is becoming too big, with the takeover of BellSouth. They note only three of the "Baby Bells" created in the 1980's will remain -- and the other two are Verizon and Qwest, which look like Chick-fil-A cows misspelled their names.

The takeover of BellSouth requires federal government approval, which could take as long as a year. In the meantime, when you hear the slogan: "listening, answering" - ask if you're saying a large enough dollar amount to get their attention.

Now let's clear the line, for other items from Sunday:

+ The 78^th annual Academy Awards were presented in Hollywood - and once again, Carmike Cinemas of Columbus didn't win a thing. What IS it going to take? The AFLAC duck doing a full-length feature film?

(Why do I have the feeling my friends and Pastor at church will whine for weeks about all the Oscars "Brokeback Mountain" won - and completely forget the Best Documentary award for "March of the Penguins?")

+ The Pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Harris County revealed suspected arsonist Ryan Wright called him, to apologize for throwing a firebomb inside. Countless local churches may have held special counseling sessions this weekend for acolytes.

+ Minor league hockey's Gwinnett Gladiators in suburban Atlanta had a "runaway bride" bobblehead doll night. Only one thing was wrong with the doll I saw - she needs an afghan covering her head.

+ ABC Sports reported former Auburn University basketball player Marquis Daniels has all of Psalm 91 tattooed on his chest and stomach. If it was there while he attended college, the separation of church and state was only a T-shirt.

(Psalm 91 has 16 verses in it, so how long did this tattoo take? Did Marquis Daniels need to be kept in sedation overnight?)

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5 MAR 06: RUNNERS TAKE YOUR MARKS

Saturday was a beautiful day for running - and you could take that statement in a couple of ways. One campaigning candidate came to Columbus. Another announced his campaign. And someone went running so far, he's still adding up the score in a bit of disbelief.

We'll start with the candidate who came to town. Cathy Cox made a campaign appearance, as she runs for Georgia Governor. Perhaps she cited her newest advantage point - none of her aides have tried to set her office on fire.

Georgia Secretary of State Cathy Cox is still arguing against the new "Voter ID" law. Yet there's a simple way to turn this to her advantage. Ms. Cox should pose for pictures with everyone who attends her events, and tell them to take those pictures to the polls on Election Day.

As Cathy Cox campaigned in Columbus (try that one, tongue-twister fans), a local man made an interesting political move. Urban League President Reginald Pugh announced he'll run for Ed Harbison's Georgia Senate seat. Does the winner also get to host that "Public Agenda" TV talk show?

Ed Harbison has run unopposed for the Georgia State Senate for 14 years. Reginald Pugh says he's running to give voters a choice, if they want change. Of course, this also will give Harbison supporters a chance to finally see their campaign donations used for something.

Reginald Pugh has several key points in his campaign platform. He told WRBL one of them is providing health care to everyone. You'd think Rep. Debbie Buckner would arrange this - since after all, she's the spokesperson for Doctors Hospital.

Reginald Pugh says he also wants to reduce local poverty. So is HE the one who put up all the billboards, saying the Opelika Wal-Mart distribution center is hiring 200 workers?

I didn't realize until Saturday night's news that Reginald Pugh is a retired colonel. This could make him more electable in Columbus than other leaders of civil rights groups. Some of us aren't even sure if Dr. William Howell of Rainbow/PUSH supports the song "Onward Christian Soldiers."

If you think about it, not many civil rights leaders seek political office. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have run for President. But Jackson left it to his son to enter the U.S. House - since once you've been in charge of something, it's hard to be under anybody else.

Reginald Pugh's decision to run for Georgia Senate is different from other local civil rights leaders. Edward DuBose is now Georgia President of the NAACP. Antonio Carter of the National Action Network co-hosts a daily radio talk show. And Bill Madison - well, has he stepped anywhere near Port Columbus lately?

Both Ed Harbison and Reginald Pugh are Democrats -- and it will be interesting to see how they campaign against each other over the next four months. Will there be any name-calling? Any rough-and-tumble debates? Any bragging by Harbison that he has more hair?

After the candidates did their "running" for the day, it was my turn - and I'm thrilled to report my Saturday night run was the longest since I moved to Columbus. I went about 5.25 miles nonstop! And thankfully, no one ran over me when the sidewalk ran out in the Streetscape section of Broadway.

The record-breaking course went down the Chattahoochee Promenade, across the Dillingham Bridge, up the Phenix City Riverwalk, across the 14^th Street pedestrian bridge back to Georgia, then up the Columbus Riverwalk to 18^th Street. Thank you to whomever turned the lights back on north of 16^th Street -- because there was only a quarter-moon.

We turned around at 18^th Street and First Avenue, and jogged back down the Riverwalk past TSYS to 14^th Street. You may be surprised to learn on a Saturday night, panhandlers kicked out of the Salvation Army did NOT follow me asking for money.

The running course continued east to 14^th and Broadway, then south on Broadway toward home. I had to jog in place while waiting on a couple of traffic lights to change, but the jogging DID continue. Even a bicyclist stopped with me at 13^th Street - although he should have been on the street, not the sidewalk.

The most awkward moment of the run came with the sidewalk ran out in the 1100 block of Broadway. Thankfully, the path on the street was wide enough that I could keep going with no cars close to me. Sometimes late-arriving Saturday night party crowds can be a good thing....

The last time I jogged five miles non-stop, it actually was a SIX-miler in suburban Atlanta - on the last Monday night of February 1997. Only two months after that, I moved to Columbus. So I suppose you can stop submitting the job offers to me now....

While I celebrate my surprising long-distance success, let's check news headlines from the last couple of days:

+ Columbus area Boy Scouts staged a "Camp-a-Ree" at Lakebottom Park. You mean they didn't follow the example of true urban campers - the homeless people who sleep on Riverwalk park benches?

+ James Taylor performed before a sellout crowd at the Columbus RiverCenter. He may sing, "Don't Know Much About History," but he certainly knows something about making money in business.

+ The Kendrick girls and Spencer boys lost close semifinals games at the Georgia high school basketball tournament. We commend both teams on good seasons - but we have to ask why the Georgia High School Association needed rolling signboards along the side of the court. The NCAA and the Olympics aren't that tacky.

+ Instant Message to the pranksters who poured soap in the fountain at 4^th and Broadway: Are you THAT desperate to see snow this winter?

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.

3 MAR 06: MORE LOCAL?

A telemarketer had a great offer for me the other night. But then again, when does a telemarketer claim to have a LOUSY offer? I doubt any of them read their own personal script, anyway....

This telemarketer was offering a discount subscription price for the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer. But most of the newspaper's big articles are posted on its web site. And he'd called on a Friday night -- when I like to say I turn into a pumpkin shortly after dark.

The telemarketer confirmed my name, address, apartment number and phone number -- but in the process, he asked me how the weather was in Columbus. You're selling the local paper, and you have to ask me about the weather? Is your office that boxed in, with no windows?

This question was so puzzling that I had to ask the telemarketer: "Where are you calling from?"

"I'm in the promotions center." I doubt most Ledger-Enquirer reporters would accept an answer like that.

The telemarketer's answer seemed more like a dodge - and I don't mean the pickup truck - so I pressed further. "Are you in this country?" This is the modern equivalent of the old question on "What's My Line" - is it bigger than a breadbox.

"Of course I'm in this country," the telemarketer answered.

"You're not in India or Bangladesh?!" This is why I think some White House staffers quietly are concerned about the President's current trip to Asia - their jobs could be outsourced.

"No," the telemarketer answered. He said he understood people's concerns about buying American. After all, the Jerusalem Post isn't exactly flying off the racks at Books-A-Million.

So the telemarketer was somewhere in the U.S., but he never revealed exactly where. A "promotions center" could be anyplace. It's sort of like the all-news radio stations who have a "sports desk" and a "financial desk" - which probably is all the same desk, cluttered with little labels.

With that matter still unsettled, the telemarketer went on to confirm all the vital information about me, then transferred me to a supervisor for verification. But as happens so often, the caller had forgotten something -- and I told the supervisor so. "He never asked me if I wanted the paper."

"Do you want the paper?" the supervisor finally asked. No, I didn't -- and the conversation was over within seconds. Once again, the Ledger-Enquirer reporters probably wouldn't react this way. Journalists aren't supposed to take no for an immediate answer.

The supervisor thanked me for my time - but the line remained open for close to a minute. I quietly listened on, and the supervisor quoted me in a mocking voice in the distance: "He never asked me if I wanted it!" Well, that IS the difference between a good customer and a shoplifter.

Telemarketing offices probably are filled with stories about cranky potential customers, and the put-downs they give salespeople. Blogs like this one probably are filled with the other side of the exchange. Is there any way to arrange a peace conference -- maybe with an all-expense-paid for me to India, to cover it?

Now some quick rings as we head toward the weekend:

+ Some business owners at The Landings Shopping Center along Airport Thruway told WXTX "News at Ten" months of construction work have hurt their business. I won't believe this is bad until Outback Steakhouse changes its sign to read: "No rules, just wrong."

+ The Columbus Firefighters Foundation hosted a fund-raising turkey calling contest. This tradition is becoming antiquated - as more and more people send politicians e-mails instead.

+ George Wallace Jr. visited Phenix City, as he campaigns for Alabama Lieutenant Governor. Wallace disappointed some older Alabamians, when he didn't pose for pictures while standing in a schoolhouse door.

(George Wallace Jr. is very different from his famous father. He's a Republican who talks about tax cuts. His dad was a Democrat who sometimes talked about barbed wire - but in terms of enemas.)

+ The Georgia House approved a bill providing tax breaks for a new electric generating plant in Clay County. The proposed plant would make energy from peanut shells and pecan hulls - so it could draw a big crowd of hungry people around 4:00 every afternoon.

+ An e-mail newsletter from the Columbus RiverCenter declared soprano Kathleen Battle "America's favorite diva." It's too bad we already have a Big Blog Question going - because I think Mariah Carey or Katie Couric would win that poll in a rout.

+ Instant Message to whomever taped a big arrow on the Riverwalk at 11^th Street: OK, you've stumped me. Your arrow's pointing directly toward the Chattahoochee River - but don't you think people would have noticed that while walking down the stairs?

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: A local lawmaker gets a very interesting challenge....

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2 MAR 06: WHAT IT WAS, WAS BASEBALL

Wednesday's Ledger-Enquirer revealed the Principal of Russell County High School is being replaced, and moving to another job. It also confirmed the move is in the wake of a possible scandal on the baseball team - so I guess we can call this a force-out.

Russell County Superintendent Rebecca Lee says Rusty Baker will move into an administrative position, after less than five months as High School Principal. Either something wasn't handled quite right, or he's a "fast track educator" if there ever was one.

Rusty Baker was on a "paid leave of absence" since five high school students moved to Russell County, apparently to play on the baseball team. The Superintendent declared them ineligible just before the season started, as a precaution. Would this have happened with geniuses, two weeks before standardized testing?

Superintendent Rebecca Lee says several of the students probably would NOT have transferred to Russell County, had not the baseball team won a national title last year. Now there's an admission for you! Has there been another really good reason to transfer to Russell County in recent years?

(Did I read correctly that a couple of the transferring students were from Hardaway? Talk about a decline in the baseball program! That school was happy for years to take the Columbus High castoffs.)

Superintendent Rebecca Lee openly doubts there was any sneaky plot at Russell County High School, to bring in baseball players illegally. But of course, some of us thought the Columbus Catfish actually planned to stay in town for decades....

At my old high school three decades ago, rumors ran wild that the big Catholic school in town was "recruiting" top athletes for football and basketball. The rumors never were proven - and this was a time when no one dared think about planting wiretaps inside a confessional.

The Superintendent's quotes in the newspaper suggest Principal Rusty Baker didn't handle questions about the five student transfers quickly enough. I can understand students avoiding the books during winter break, but you'd think principals might be different.

So what about the five players in dispute? Superintendent Rebecca Lee says three of them now are considered OK to play baseball at Russell County High School. One went back to his old school. And the status of the fifth remains unsettled - which may set a record for the biggest "hung-up" play in baseball history.

The big unanswered question in this story is whether Russell County High School baseball coach Tony Rasmus knew about the transfers, or had anything to do with them. There certainly was no news during the fall about trading players and draft picks with Bobby Howard at Columbus High.

Keep in mind Russell County High School was cited a few weeks for holding an illegal baseball practice. I guess that means they practiced out of season - unless they dared to defy those signs at the ballparks, and had a pepper game.

I'm not sure what the rules are for high school baseball practice in Georgia. But a couple of years ago, I saw a large number of Northside High players show up at Britt David Park - on a Sunday afternoon in October. If they're skipping pro football games on TV, something MUST be suspicious.

But anyway: Russell County High School is popular with more than baseball players. Scouts from about half the major league teams attended the Warriors' season opener a week or so ago. So at least one flight to Columbus Airport was full that day....

Speaking of local baseball, how about Ian Sebastian?! The recent Columbus High grad took the mound for Georgia Wednesday - and struck out three Atlanta major leaguers in two innings of spring training! Hopefully Sebastian met Bobby Cox afterward, because he'll probably need a closer come September.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION is back from a long absence - and it's admittedly a bit strange. A co-worker suggested Wednesday I post a question about beer. Trouble is, I don't drink beer. In fact, I never have - and ordering diet colas has worn out my welcome at bars more than once.

Somehow I was talking with this co-worker about beer, and I noted store signs during the summer all brag about cold their beer is. No one ever promotes warm beer. Why is a choice of temperatures OK with coffee, but not with beer?

But this co-worker claimed some people actually like warm beer. "That's a good question for your blog," he suggested. OK, so it's now posted: do you prefer cold or warm beer? I think I know which side will win - since you don't hear much about spicy jalapeno beers, not even from Mexico.

While you ponder this vital topic, let's check some other news notes from Wednesday:

+ The "Getting on Top of Life" broadcast on WHAL-AM featured school board member/Pastor Joseph Roberson claiming some people are arrested merely to operate "the jail business." If grass grows out of control in Columbus parks this summer, you'll know city officials heard this message and repented.

+ The evening news reported Continental Carbon has appealed a ruling of environmental damage for the second time. You don't think they simply made a carbon copy of the first appeal, do you?

(Some people in the Oakland Park neighborhood of Columbus say they still have plenty of dirt on their cars, despite promised changes by Continental Carbon. And because it's not red clay, it's even more annoying -- because it's not official Georgia dirt.)

+ Southwest Atlanta Christian beat Randolph-Clay in the Georgia high school boys' basketball semifinals. The win ended Randolph-Clay's 90-game winning streak -- so I think that means Ken Jennings's record on "Jeopardy" from a few years ago is still safe.

+ Instant Message to WLTZ NBC-38: Why? I mean, a prime-time Duke-North Carolina basketball game I could understand - but why show Virginia-North Carolina? A game North Carolina won by 45 points? Does Coach Roy Williams have some relatives who live in Columbus?

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 5662 (+ 138, 2.5%)

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1 MAR 06: A STINKY SITUATION

Columbus Water Works admitted Tuesday it spilled some sewage into Bull Creek. Yes, Bull Creek has sewage. I will avoid the obvious punch line, because I don't use that sort of language....

A short news release from Columbus Water Works admitted a sewage spill occurred Monday, but it didn't say how big the spill was. Was it bigger than a breadbox -- or perhaps more appropriate, than a pig farmer's feed bucket?

Yes, it WAS a much bigger spill than that. A spokesman for Georgia's Environmental Protection Division revealed 159,000 gallons of sewage wound up in Bull Creek. That computes to almost 2,900 barrels of oil - and if that much oil spilled, imagine how fast gas prices would jump.

How much sewage is 159,000 gallons? Your blog wanted to know, so we checked an online calculator for swimming pools - and found that amount would come close to filling the pool at the downtown YMCA. In this case, the FIRST one in would be a rotten egg.

A Georgia state environmental official says any sewage spill of more than 10,000 gallons is considered "major." So a spill of 159,000 gallons in Columbus might go beyond major - it's BRAC-sized.

But Columbus Riverkeeper Bill Edwards said late Tuesday the large-sounding sewage spill was a "small blip" in the Chattahoochee River. OK, if he says so - but somehow I think bottled water will be hard to find in Eufaula for a few days.

Bill Edwards explained a wet February helped raise the level of the Chattahoochee River, so a big sewage spill would dilute easily. He admitted during summer, things might be different - and people along Bull Creek would smell the difference.

Columbus Water Works claims the sewage spill happened because a contractor doing renovation work near the Riverwalk made a mistake. The phone companies warn you should "call before you dig" -- and maybe you also should sniff before you drill.

Columbus Water Works spokesman Cliff Arnett says a state fine is likely for Monday's sewage spill. But he says the contractor which caused the spill likely will be told to pay it. Tap into the wrong line, and we tap into your bank account....

Tuesday's news reminded me of the 1990's, when reports came out all the time of Chattahoochee River sewage spills in the Atlanta area. You don't hear much about spills there anymore. So either the problems have been solved, or the news media are too busy looking for teenage husbands with middle-aged wives.

Remember Mitch Skandalakis? He was the Fulton County Commission Chair who ran for Georgia Lieutenant Governor in 1998 - and came to Columbus one day complaining about Atlanta city sewage spills. The reporters apparently didn't think to ask him about Fulton County's own sewage spills - and it had some.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Your blog had a scary moment Tuesday, when we checked the InBox and found a message with the title "From Frank Myers." What city official hired him as an attorney - and how much in punitive damages did he or she want?

Weeks of blog entries flashed before our eyes - but then we opened the e-mail, and found it was about something very different:

Richard:

I don't read your blog very often, but one of the things I've read in the past (and appreciated) is the fact that you try to track local gas prices and pass than information on to your readers ("consumers").

My sister sent me the link.... which allegedly tracks gas prices by zip code. I was skeptical. I filled up today, double-checked the website, and they were right on the mark with the price per gallon and location.

Test this yourself, but I think it might be a good resource for you to use.

Frank

Thanks for your help, sir - but to be honest, I've never thought of a blog reader as a "consumer" before. I suppose many people are like me, though, and eat at the computer....

Frank Myers's link is to a branch of the "Microsoft Network" web site. I put in my zip code Tuesday night, and the gas prices in the Columbus area seemed accurate. The average was $2.10 a gallon, with a low price of $2.05. If a couple of store owners from Tifton would move here, things might be even better.

But there's one low-priced "gas station" which didn't show up when I checked this gas price web site. It's Dolly Madison on Victory Drive, which often has the lowest price in Columbus. Does anyone have a bread price comparison site to offer?

We invite others to try Frank Myers's resource - but only after we check other Tuesday headlines:

+ Don Ford of Phenix City told reporters his convenience store has closed and his health is failing, since he was shot several weeks ago. Another person plans to reopen Don's Fine Foods - but the key question is: will the foods still be fine? Or will caviar finally be brought in?

+ The Georgia Senate approved a child support bill written by Midland's Seth Harp. People who win large lottery prizes would have their winnings reduced, depending on how much back child support they owe. So if you "Win for Life" tonight, it really may be for someone else's.

(Oh yes -- did you buy a Mega Millions ticket, and try to win Tuesday night's $256 million jackpot? If a child support deadbeat wins that, the issue would be settled immediately. A broke and jilted lover would want to give their marriage another chance.)

+ Arnold Middle School hosted an annual "teacher idea fair." I thought I saw a CB&T table in the videotape WRBL showed - so maybe that's for math teachers with ideas about making more money as accountants.

+ The Columbus RiverCenter hosted a performance of the ballet "Swan Lake." A short walk down Broadway, clubs held a Mardi Gras pub crawl - and some customers may have tried to do a swan dive onto the sidewalk.

+ Winn-Dixie spared Columbus in a second round of store closings, announcing a store on Pepperell Parkway will close. The strategy for this company is becoming clearer every day - stay as far away from Wal-Mart SuperCenters as possible.

+ Instant Message to Robbie Watson of WRCG's "TalkLine": Best wishes in your effort to stop drinking coffee. Some of your callers probably are wild enough to get the blood circulating at 7:15 a.m., anyway.

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 5524 (+ 161, 3.0%)

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.