7 MAR 06: SOUR BABY JAMES

Monday may well be the favorite day of the week for people to gripe and grumble. I've often wondered why more radio stations don't mark the end of the weekend by playing the Pretenders' song "Back on the Chain Gang."

I heard several people complain Monday about something unexpected -- the James Taylor concert at the RiverCenter. They said Saturday night's performance left them disappointed. They've seen fire and they've seen rain - and to them, this was more like a cold shower.

Since I didn't attend the James Taylor concert (I only jogged by the RiverCenter, during my five-mile run), I'm going on what the people who were there stated. One said he had $85 seats down front, and expected more than Taylor and one other musician. Apparently the only "light show" occurred when the house was dimmed.

(Come to think of it, I should have asked this man if the $85 seats are more comfortable than the ones in the balcony. Does the chair have extra padding? Is there a hidden footrest that folds out?)

This man admitted he wasn't familiar with most of the songs in James Taylor's first set. Someone should have told Taylor to stop learning new songs and quit making CD's about 15 years ago....

Another complaint was that James Taylor's sets were too short, taking a break after only a few songs. The man speculated the RiverCenter may require this, so it can sell drinks in the lobby. I think he was kidding, but....

Then there was the way the James Taylor concert ended -- with at least two "encores." One customer contended Taylor should have played another set of music, instead of milking the crowd in this way. But if he can get to the late-night party at The Firehouse early, why not?

"If you're going to quit at 10:30, fine," one concertgoer said -- but apparently James Taylor stretching out the encores did not impress that person. Of course, younger listeners might note Taylor stretches out ALL his songs. The doo-wop version of "Candy Man" was much easier for dancing.

Maybe the complaints go all the way back to how the RiverCenter handled the James Taylor concert. The Ledger-Enquirer discovered members of Taylor's fan club were offered tickets before the general public. If you didn't know better, you'd think President Bush was visiting Columbus.

But the box office record shows James Taylor's concert at the RiverCenter was a sellout. In fact, I heard one report of scalpers offering $150 for tickets on Broadway before the show. Trouble is, all the beggars there claim they want is a dollar for a cheeseburger.

Based on what I heard Monday, your blog hereby posts some suggestions for James Taylor. The next time he comes to Columbus, he needs to....

+ Have some good-looking dancers on stage. But don't borrow any from Motley Crue, or he'll get in trouble with police.

+ Learn a lesson from the "Sunny 100 FM" van which was parked outside the RiverCenter that night. Only play songs people know - and if they're Christmas songs, even better.

+ Lower the ticket prices, if he's going to have an acoustic show. Surely the top-floor rooms at the downtown Marriott can't be THAT expensive.

(BLOG BLAH BLAH: Did you attend the James Taylor concert? Write us with your impressions, good or bad.)

Now that we've showered a singer we love with - well, constructive criticism - let's move to items from Monday:

+ Gas prices across Columbus jumped about ten cents a gallon for the second week in a row. You can always tell it's spring when the cost of driving starts budding higher and higher.

+ Opelika police announced the arrest of four teens and young adults, who allegedly fired pellet guns at people along Pepperell Parkway. We'll see if any of them try the Dick Cheney defense - you know, that it was all an accident.

+ Alabama first lady Patsy Riley visited Lakewood Elementary School in Phenix City, and read kindergarten students the book "The Little Engine That Could." Then she went to Smiths Station and read for Republicans the horror story, "Help! There's a Roy Moore on My Ballot!"

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue said he'll travel to Texas, and try to persuade AT&T executives to move their headquarters to Atlanta. While he's out, how about a side trip to Charlotte - to get on his knees, and beg NASCAR to change its mind about the Hall of Fame?

+ TV talk show host Montel Williams visited the Georgia state capitol, to discuss prescription drug assistance. Do you think he calls psychic Sylvia Browne before all his road trips, to check for flight delays?

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 5210 (+ 163, 3.2%)

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.