21 MAR 06: THE THIN RED LINE

Instant Message to my family: I'm doing fine - unscathed by Monday night's severe weather. And at least I'm telling you here. My niece in Lawrence, Kansas still hasn't called me back about how SHE did last week. (Ahem....)

A line of severe storms moved through the Columbus area Monday night. It brought hurricane-force wind gusts, reports of possible tornadoes - and a surprise one-day extension of "Thunder in the Valley."

I owe a big debt of gratitude to a Phenix City blogger, for alerting me to the trouble. His home page said "TORNADO WARNING FOR RUSSELL COUNTY" while I listened to college basketball on a Louisville radio station. If the sports radio station in Columbus had picked up these games - well no, I still wouldn't have known....

The radar screens of local TV station showed a potential tornado in the Seale area. Tornado areas appear in purple - which could mean they were devised by a fellow Kansas graduate. Purple is the color of big bad Kansas State, you know....

It turned out tornado warnings were issued for Chattahoochee and Marion Counties, as well as Russell. Warning sirens sounded across Columbus at 9:47 p.m., but NO tornado warning was issued by the weather service. Does Emergency Management Director Riley Land have a quota to meet?

The biggest Columbus TV stations sounded their tones often at the height of the storm. I had "Supernanny" on, and wasn't sure at times if the "beeps" were for a tornado sighting or a parent swearing.

At 10:00 p.m. I was all set to get a full weather update from WXTX - but I don't have cable, and the broadcast signal went off the air. It came back just in time for "Health Watch," AFTER the forecast. Too bad there was no news about how to handle a panic attack.

Things were even worse at WRBL, where the broadcast signal went down for about 30 minutes. But give this station some credit - it didn't put Blaine Stewart in charge of the severe weather alerts. He's advanced to the 6:00 p.m. news, though, so he's on the way....

Other TV stations didn't offer much help for severe weather information:

+ WCGT-TV 16 was in a fund-raiser for its new owner, the Christian Television Network. I was asked to pledge $60 a month for six months - but no one offered to pray about possibly losing the roof over my head.

+ WLGA TV-66 showed "Fear Factor." In a strange way, this was more encouraging during a severe storm than the religious channel.

+ Georgia Public Broadcasting presented a history program, about the "Gibson Girl" of New York modeling. For those of you under 35 - no, she was NOT a pop singer named Debbie.

The final numbers from "stormy Monday" severe weather showed a top wind gust of 85 miles per hour. To which some North Columbus residents said with a laugh, "I've driven down the J.R. Allen Parkway faster than that."

WRBL reported about 5,000 customers in Phenix City lost power from the storm, compared with 3,000 in Columbus. So those birds atop the Alabama Power billboard need to tie their connections a little tighter....

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have readers from coast to coast. This question reached the blog Monday from South Carolina:

I have a friend named, Carrie, who needs to know all she can about "Club Oxygen". What can you tell me?

Shannon Kerr Gunnells

Sorry to say, Shannon, I can't tell you much. I've never been inside Club Oxygen on Broadway. I've jogged past it several times - but no one stepped outside and offered oxygen for my breathing.

We have a wide-ranging blog readership, and we invite them to offer any information they can about Club Oxygen. But it's listed merely as "Oxygen" on one line of the Columbus Yellow Pages - so maybe that "club" word confuses people.

Perhaps your friend has heard rumors about (Club) Oxygen - and we can address a few of those:

+ It is NOT owned by the people who put on the Oxygen cable channel. If Oprah Winfrey managed part of that club, she would have appeared in Columbus by now - and you would have seen it on her talk show.

+ It has NOT spawned any spinoff clubs in other parts of Columbus. I mean, there's no Club Hydrogen, Club Nitrogen, Club Molybdenum....

+ It's different from the "Platinum Club" on Manchester Expressway. That club allegedly has naked dancers. Oxygen probably has a two-piece minimum.

Now for other elements we discovered Monday:

+ Columbus Urban League President Reginald Pugh announced a program with the Tidwell Cancer Treatment Center, encouraging men to be screened for prostate cancer. Pugh is running for the Georgia State Senate - so Ed Harbison now needs to win the endorsement of the John B. Amos family.

+ WRBL reported Baker Middle School has asked to go back to a traditional school year, ending year-round classes. Apparently too many students were dropping out - so now in a way, the principal wants to join them.

+ The Georgia Senate voted 45-3 for a bill protecting insurance agents. Believe it or not, Georgia law says you can have agents arrested if they sell you insurance while they buy you lunch! [True/GPB] How many undercover Columbus Police officers wish they could have trapped Carolyn Hugley in that one?

+ Kasey Kahne won the rain-delayed "Golden Corral 500" NASCAR race outside Atlanta. But the big story for some was the appearance of African-American driver Bill Lester. Minorities in ANY role on NASCAR teams are about as rare as Firestone tires on cars.

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 5898 (+ 202, 3.5%)

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.