27 MAR 06: THE B.K. BIKER

Sunday was a sunny, mild day - perfect for getting outside and doing things. It was a wonderful time to ride a bike, then park it somewhere and beg total strangers for lunch money....

BLOGGER BEGGAR #4: "Excuse me, Sir," said the man sitting on the sidewalk outside the Spectrum on Fourth Street. "Can I have a dollar, so I can get something to eat?" Usually beggars aren't at this station on Sunday afternoons. They show up on weekdays, since lottery players already are throwing away dollar bills.

"Let's go in, and I'll buy you something to eat," I replied. Only as I write this do I realize how difficult this would have been. I walked to Spectrum from my home with a "refill cup" for fountain soda, and less than one dollar on me. But a Little Debbie snack cake for a quarter still would have counted.

"I was planning to go to Burger King after awhile to get something to eat." I owe Spectrum an apology right here, because I didn't stick up for the quality of its hot dogs.

"I live about a block from here, and I can take you to Burger King and buy you something to eat." The Veterans Parkway location is about one block from where that man held up a cardboard sign last Friday - so maybe that man was back, taking this guy's space.

"I was going to ride my bike over there." The man sitting on the sidewalk pointed to a bicycle standing at the other side of the Spectrum. I guess he wasn't "hungry" to the point that he lacked the strength to pedal 11 blocks.

"You can ride my bike to where I live. I'll secure it there, and take you to Burger King."

"I don't want you to go to all that trouble," the beggar answered. Perhaps he thought I was trying to out-con him - and my refill cup had lead weights inside, to beat him up and steal his bicycle.

"It's no trouble," I assured the man. If anything, he was making this more trouble than it was worth. Food is sitting less than 50 yards from him, but he HAS to go a mile-and-a-half to eat something?

"Never mind, sir. I'll ask some people later for a couple of dollars." Hmmmm - a COUPLE of dollars, after he asked me for one? Maybe he has a building jackpot system here....

"There's a Burger King over on Fourth Avenue where I planned to go," the beggar continued. Fourth Avenue, huh? That tells me the man is a longtime Columbus resident -- and he probably also knows he can pedal his bicycle across the bridge to Phenix City now, and buy beer with Sunday donations.

It turned out the Spectrum soda fountain for my refill cup was out of order -- and with less than one dollar in my pocket, I couldn't afford a 20-ounce bottle. So I left as empty-handed as the beggar was. I guess I should have told him that - but he might have invited me to join him in a begging tag-team.

The count now stands at four beggars we've encountered in Columbus this year - and only one has wound up receiving help from us. I don't know why this one wasn't interested in letting me personally buy him dinner at Burger King. Should I have shaved, before stepping outside?

E-MAIL UPDATE: The disappearing beggar we passed Friday along Fourth Avenue - oops, Veterans Parkway - brought this e-mail Sunday:

he was inside eating......trust me.

OK, I'll trust you - and should I assume YOU were the one who stopped and bought him lunch? Or was the beggar taking a lunch break on his own?

The Sunday InBox also had a message from the West Coast:

I stumbled on your blog while looking for something totally unrelated. What's funny is that I grew up in Columbus. I now live in Southern California. It was amusing to see places mentioned that I remember well.

I was there a couple of years ago to perform the wedding of my cousin, Ashley Albritton (now Pezold.) Since that time they have moved out here, leaving me very few Columbus relatives.

Have a great Sunday.

Perry Hamilton

Thanks for finding us, Perry - and for giving a very different meaning to that prime-time TV show. "The O.C. - Out of Columbus."

Let's head back into town now, for quick news headlines from the weekend:

+ Several cargo planes left Columbus Airport, flying low over Columbus State University. WDAK's Scott Miller was broadcasting a C.S.U. baseball game and asked, "Are we invading Alabama?" Maybe so - to rescue that state from its oppressive lack of lottery games.

+ West Point held a street dance, to celebrate obtaining the new Kia plant. I assume no country music was played at this event - since that music is filled with songs about pickup trucks, and Kia doesn't make any.

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra presented a children's matinee of "Peter and the Wolf." Commercials promoting this classical work reminded me the wolf is accused of eating a duck - so I guess AFLAC didn't sponsor this concert.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths played until after 1:00 a.m. ET, and beat Huntsville 4-3 in double overtime to stay alive in the hockey playoffs. You can tell the Snakes are tired when the dramatic score isn't posted on the team web site after 12:00 noon....

+ Auburn University won the NCAA men's swimming title, matching the title its women won earlier in the month. How does Auburn keep winning national championships in swimming? Do the coaches threaten to make the athletes swim in Lake Martin?

+ Instant Message to the Ledger-Enquirer: It's nice to see you finally did a story on the radio ratings. And it's nice to know I beat you to that story -- by almost two months [1 Feb].

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, as we conduct our annual serious spring cleaning.)

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