10 MAR 06: THE N.H.T.

If you watched "CSI: New York" the other night, you should understand our title. If you didn't, here's a clue - it has something to do with Opelika High School, a boxing match at the Trade Center, chicken tenders and fish sandwiches. No, high school students were NOT competing for lunch....

All these items are examples of "the Next Hot Thing" - or at least the promoters of these things hope they are. Just in time for spring, new ideas are bursting forth all over. And I'm not even including Blaine Stewart doing weather forecasts.

Let's take the items in order, starting with Opelika. The school board there voted Thursday to demolish the current high school, and build a new one. You can tell which cities do NOT have influential historic foundations....

Opelika City School officials had been talking about renovating the high school for about $10 million. Instead, they surprised the school board by proposing a new school costing about $20 million. Those officials can expect a call from Rigdon Road Elementary today, asking how they did it so quickly.

Because this is a city school district, a new Opelika High School will require financing approval from the city council. Let's see if the council learns a lesson from Columbus - and brings everyone together to gripe about how it wasn't given 24 hours' notice.

Opelika school officials say they decided to bulldoze the high school because several areas of it aren't up to city code. Take the school gym - where this season the basketball team wasn't even up to beating Auburn High.

Did you know some classrooms at Opelika High School don't have light switches? This district must have been VERY poor when the school opened - with no reason even to dim lights for filmstrips.

Opelika High School is 35 years old, and now school officials want to tear it down and replace it. If this seems strange to you, remember one thing - Atlanta's old baseball stadium was torn down in about 32.

Not everything will be torn down at Opelika High School. Some sections will be kept as is, including the Opelika Center for the Performing Arts - the place which staged "Our Sinatra" one night after the RiverCenter did last weekend, only it didn't have the budget to really tell anybody.

Since the new Opelika High School will be built on the site of the current one, there's going to be a challenge transition. Officials say they'll need about 60 portable classrooms to teach students for a year. These teenagers aren't smart enough to suggest a college faculty-style sabbatical.

(Can you imagine a high school made up of 60 portable classrooms? Former Governor Don Siegelman probably wishes the construction work started today, so he can pose in Opelika for a campaign issue.)

N.H.T. number two may have developed at the Trade Center Thursday - as two members of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce engaged in a mock boxing match. Whatever happened to those regular monthly cards at the Civic Center, anyway?

The boxing match was staged to kick off the Chamber of Commerce's annual membership drive. This year's goal is $102,000 - or 34,000 burgers, fries and frosties, if Wendy's caters the lunches for the next several years.

The winner of the Chamber of Commerce mock boxing match was Stella Shulman. I think she now advances to be the first "Great Championship Wrestling Diva."

The last two N.H.T. items really go together. Without planning it, I stumbled upon "Free Chicken Tender Day" Thursday at the Arby's on Manchester Expressway. I think the word "free" on the sign prevented an animal rights protest....

Arby's indeed was giving away chicken tenders to customers for eight hours. So of course, I HAD to change my plans and stop for a visit. Free food for a single guy is a no-risk version of "Win for Life."

I wasn't sure if the visit would bring an early dinner or not -- and it didn't. Arby's was giving out ONE free chicken tender per customer. That way, the restaurant saved on LEGAL tender....

With a little cup of ranch sauce which was far too much for this dipping project, the chicken tender was very meaty and nice. But something didn't seem right here. A traditional "roast beef sandwich" restaurant serving chicken tenders? Chick-fil-A doesn't dare sell hamburgers.

I'd been puzzling well before Thursday about Arby's adding a fish sandwich to its menu. Church's Chicken has done the same thing in recent weeks -- both places going against their traditional images. You almost want to ask if the fish they're offering were caught while swimming upstream.

So which of these N.H.T. candidates is most likely to be the REAL next hot thing? I'd guess Opelika High School is likely to win -- unless they forget to make part of the new building a wireless Internet "free zone."

BLOG UPDATE: Well, what do you know - some people actually LIKED the James Taylor concert at the RiverCenter. We received a lengthy note of praise about it Thursday. It was in the RiverCenter's e-mail newsletter, but still....

The RiverCenter's weekly "e-ssential news" described James Taylor's appearance as very nice and likeable. But the intimate format and display of photos by Taylor brought a comparison to "someone's goofy Uncle Carl." or was that a reference to his frequent breaks, as if he needed to use the restroom?

The RiverCenter's newsletter confirmed James Taylor used a videotaped chorus for some of his songs - and one member of the chorus was his wife. I do hope he doesn't have to write any cheating songs, when the tour's over.

Now other sharp notes (get it?) which passed our way Thursday:

+ Superior Court Judge Bobby Peters confirmed to your blog he's moved out of his First Avenue home, across the street from the Government Center. He's leased the house to attorney Alex Byars - but sorry, single ladies: I did NOT get the judge's new address.

(My regular drives up First Avenue are going to be MUCH more boring now. I can't check to see if Judge Bobby Peters has sold his classic Thunderbird - and my chances of meeting attractive "constituents" will go way down.)

+ Gas prices in Columbus took a surprising six-cent drop, to a low of $2.19 per gallon. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who isn't afraid of the President of Iran, Mr. -- how do you spell it? - Mr. A-madman-jihad.

+ The WLTZ-TV web site posted an e-mail from NBC, addressing rumors about an upcoming episode of "Will and Grace." No, it will NOT have a joke about eating "cruci-fixins." But then again, the fact that it's mentioned on the web site sort of defeats the purpose of the warning, doesn't it?

+ The Georgia Senate voted 55-0 to establish 500-foot limits on protests outside funerals. Please leave the arguments about the will for the attorney's office afterward....

(This bill is in response to the traveling protests by Fred Phelps's controversial congregation in Kansas. I didn't know until Thursday this group marched outside the funeral for Coretta Scott King, and declared she was in h**l with her late husband. I thought they attended Ebenezer BAPTIST Church.)

+ Auburn, Georgia and Georgia Tech all lost in conference men's basketball tournaments. We'd like to thank the Atlanta Hawks for setting them all such an inspiring example this past season....

. + Instant Message to whomever left an upside-down bicycle on one of the Benning Park racquetball courts: That's a clever hiding place, I'll grant you that. Or are you trying to bring Georgia's Governor down to Columbus, to get him hurt again?

COMING SOON: Is Columbus going to have too many books?....

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