6 MAR 06: FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS
Sunday marked the beginning of the end of an era, for telephone users across this area. AT&T confirmed it plans to buy BellSouth for $67 billion. For some die-hard Southerners, it must feel like the North is buying out the end of the Civil War.
If AT&T does what it did with Southwestern Bell/SBC and Pacific Telecom, the BellSouth name will disappear after a merger. It will only prove what many of us have feared for years - the era of the "Southern Bell" has passed.
The buyout of BellSouth raises some questions about future services. For instance, the company guarantees "DSL Fast Access" for $24.95 every month. Now that commercial guy in the plastic bubble may have run into a solid-gold razor wire fence.
One report indicated the buyout of BellSouth will mean the end of Cingular Wireless, as AT&T Wireless replaces it in a phaseout. That X symbol looked so flexible for so long - and now it may be headed for X-tinction.
The takeover of BellSouth will give AT&T a company with 360,000 total employees. Somewhere inside the AFLAC tower today someone will say, "We're working on that -- and we're taking applications from future downsized BellSouth workers now."
Executives with AT&T and BellSouth say a corporate merger will mean two billion dollars in savings per year. I didn't realize wireless roaming fees were that expensive these days....
The combination of AT&T and BellSouth will mean a combined 70 million long-distance phone customers, and about ten million broadband customers. If they can put the two together, Vonage might have grounds for an antitrust suit.
But some consumer groups fear AT&T is becoming too big, with the takeover of BellSouth. They note only three of the "Baby Bells" created in the 1980's will remain -- and the other two are Verizon and Qwest, which look like Chick-fil-A cows misspelled their names.
The takeover of BellSouth requires federal government approval, which could take as long as a year. In the meantime, when you hear the slogan: "listening, answering" - ask if you're saying a large enough dollar amount to get their attention.
Now let's clear the line, for other items from Sunday:
+ The 78th annual Academy Awards were presented in Hollywood - and once again, Carmike Cinemas of Columbus didn't win a thing. What IS it going to take? The AFLAC duck doing a full-length feature film?
(Why do I have the feeling my friends and Pastor at church will whine for weeks about all the Oscars "Brokeback Mountain" won - and completely forget the Best Documentary award for "March of the Penguins?")
+ The Pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Harris County revealed suspected arsonist Ryan Wright called him, to apologize for throwing a firebomb inside. Countless local churches may have held special counseling sessions this weekend for acolytes.
+ Minor league hockey's Gwinnett Gladiators in suburban Atlanta had a "runaway bride" bobblehead doll night. Only one thing was wrong with the doll I saw - she needs an afghan covering her head.
+ ABC Sports reported former Auburn University basketball player Marquis Daniels has all of Psalm 91 tattooed on his chest and stomach. If it was there while he attended college, the separation of church and state was only a T-shirt.
(Psalm 91 has 16 verses in it, so how long did this tattoo take? Did Marquis Daniels need to be kept in sedation overnight?)
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