for 10 OCT 05: COLUMBUS'S DAY
LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: To mark this holiday named after the city of Columbus - and it WAS, wasn't it? - we offer thoughts about the day which we wrote during our LaughLine era. Have a safe holiday!
9 Oct 00: Today is Columbus Day, and you know that means nowadays. The holiday shopping season at the mall can officially begin.
A grocery chain in town [Piggly Wiggly] began running Xmas-season commercials FRIDAY - complete with greenery-wrapped poles and an announcer saying, "Happy Holidays!" What ARE we supposed to serve for Columbus Day dinner - ham or turkey?
In some places, "Columbus Day" is NOT politically correct. This year for the first time, Alabama is marking "Native American Day" as well! Of course, some corners of Alabama will protest this - because they consider themselves native SOUTHERN.
Then there was Saturday's Columbus Day parade in Denver, where protesters spilled fake blood in the streets! What puzzles us is that you never hear about protests in the Bahamas - and that's where Columbus really landed.
(We were in another Columbus landing site five years ago this week. Puerto Rico had NO protests, and many workers took October 12 off! If they're not worried, should WE be?)
With so many "alternatives" developing to Columbus Day, we wonder if it's time to change that little rhyme we learned when we were young:
In 14-hundred and 92, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
But now we know better, and now we see - he didn't show much sensitivity!
8 Oct 01: Today is Columbus Day in the U.S. For those of you younger than 20 - NO, Christopher Columbus did NOT create the Discovery Channel.
We live in a city named "Columbus" - but there's NO big celebration to mark Columbus Day. In fact, the local transit system doesn't even call their vehicles "Colum-BUSES."
Our town used to have a downtown music festival over Columbus Day weekend [Uptown Jam] -- but it was called off this year because it's lost money! Apparently it's time to move the celebration to a more appropriate place. Shoppers are parading to the mall for Columbus Day sales, instead.
(There's a great promotional gimmick just waiting to happen here. Why doesn't the "Discover Card" offer extra rebates at Columbus Day sales?)
To be fair, some people are offended by the name "Columbus Day" - and want it named "Native American Day" instead. Isn't it time we united our country, and had a summit meeting to resolve this? Columbus, Indiana would be the perfect place for it....
(So why don't you hear anybody demand the state change its name to "Native-ia?")
11 Oct 02: A holiday weekend is approaching in North America. Monday is Thanksgiving Day in Canada, Columbus Day in the U.S. -- and if our count is correct, the end of the 24th three-day furniture sale so far this year.
New York City has one of the biggest Columbus Day parades, but this year there's controversy. Mayor Michael Bloomberg invited Lorraine Bracco from "The Sopranos" to appear -- and some Italian-American groups say that show promotes wrong stereotypes. They DO have a point, you know. We doubt most mob bosses see psychiatrists.
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