11 OCT 05: SPECIAL DREAD

Monday was an "in-service day" for most Muscogee County teachers, but for some it was complaint day. They have orders to upgrade their skills in a year -- and to make things worse, they'll still have to face those distracting children five days a week as they do.

Some special education teachers are upset because after 20 or 30 years, suddenly they're no longer considered "highly qualified." But should anyone really be surprised by this? A pro football quarterback would have retired years before....

The special education teachers have to upgrade their skills by next August, because federal law says so. It's part of the "No Child Left Behind Act." Well, it DOES say child - not teacher.

To be considered "highly qualified" come next August, a special education teacher must have an emphasis in one particular subject - such as math or science. In other words, they actually have to be special in SOMETHING.

A few Muscogee County special education teachers are considered "highly qualified" under federal law, even though they haven't taught for long. That's because they had focused study areas in college. Even "elementary education" counts as a focus area -- and if you can focus on fast-moving first-graders, that's skill.

Some special education teachers will have to take online courses, to meet the new standard of being "highly qualified" by next August. So if you visit the Muscogee County School District web site and see a series of annoying pop-up ads, that could be why.

Peggy West with the Muscogee County School District tried to reassure the special education teachers Monday. She admitted the change in standards is difficult, but said it will be good for everyone. For a second, I thought West might be an oil company executive.

But a few special education teachers apparently feel insulted by this change of status. Years of tenure suddenly don't seem to count for anything. Maybe there's another lesson for them in all this - tenure really only counts in college education.

It certainly cannot be easy, to be a special education teacher. You face children with a wide range of disabilities, and help them learn to have skills equivalent to other students. So if these teachers don't get an upgrade, they ought to dominate "The Apprentice."

SPAM-A-RAMA: Monday's e-mail brought a message with the title: "Sweat, do you love me or not?" Amazingly, this was NOT an offer for a new antiperspirant....

The message actually was for a no-name petroleum company's stock, which supposedly is about to gush to big gains. So who decided my name was Sweat? Those puddles I run past on the Riverwalk were put there by sprinklers.

But perhaps the real question here is whether I love sweat or not. I'd lean toward answering no. That's especially true when you shower in the summer, put on a nice dress shirt for church and see it become sweaty by the time you arrive -- and you're actually running your car's air conditioning.

Hoping the heavy sweating is over for a few months, let's check other items from Monday:

+ A source who seems to know tells your blog the Golden Rule Bar-B-Q in Phenix City has closed for good. Really now -- have that many Southerners converted to Blimpie subs, up the road at Wal-Mart?

(This closing simply proves the name of the restaurant was accurate. How much "gold" you earn determines whether or not you rule.)

+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce announced four companies formerly based in New Orleans will relocate here, and provides about 50 new jobs. One of them is an apparel company - which had better not have the nerve to make any Saints football jerseys.

(Another of the four companies moving here from New Orleans is Dixie Chopper, which claims to make "the world's fastest lawn mower." In my part of Columbus, that'll only matter if someone tries to steal it....)

+ Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff told a TV interviewer to truly have "one Columbus," we need to trust each other. C'mon, Mr. Mayor -- not even some Republicans are buying that phrase from President Bush anymore.

+ A pickup truck exploded outside Carden's Country Café in Phenix City. One of the first people to reach the damage was Phenix City School Superintendent Larry DiSciara - perhaps thinking he'd found a new teacher for that NASA-supported program at the Intermediate School.

+ Two dormitories were evacuated at Georgia Tech, after someone modified plastic soda bottles to look like bombs. So was some engineer's big project for the fall semester? Or the work of a frustrated Pepsi distributor, so close to the Coca-Cola tower??

+ Atlanta headed home from the baseball playoffs, after losing an 18-inning classic to Houston. Believe it or not, things could have been worse. They could have counted Sunday's match as two games, and given the Astros a 4-1 series win.

Your PayPal donations can keep this blog ad-free and independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-05 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.