12 OCT 05: UP AGAINST THE WAL-

Well, well! Is Wal-Mart actually trying to accommodate upset residents of Midland? Or is the company switching from using a steamroller to get its way - and moving into a smaller hybrid car?

Wal-Mart asked Columbus Council Tuesday for a two-month delay in its rezoning request, for a SuperCenter on Gateway Road. This pushes the question back until mid-December - when Columbus Wal-Marts will be so crowded with shoppers that the need will be obvious.

A Wal-Mart spokesman explained in the wake of last week's public hearing in Midland, the company wanted to reexamine traffic issues with the proposed store. Hmmmm - how much wider does the J.R. Allen Parkway have to be?

Wal-Mart critic Linda Harp says traffic would need to be improved around a new SuperCenter. She told reporters it's not safe turning onto the J.R. Allen Parkway now. I know what Harp means - but if mills keep closing, that ought to change....

The two-month delay pleased opponents of the Wal-Mart store, but only a little. Some openly admit they don't want a SuperCenter built in Midland at all. So why aren't Harris or Talbot County commissioners offering to take it from them - along with all that tax revenue?

Opponents of the Midland Wal-Mart also are concerned about all the trucks which would stop there, potentially 24 hours a day. This doesn't seem to prevent people from staying at motels along the side of interstate highways....

By comparison, the most vocal supporter of a Midland Wal-Mart is annoyed by the two-month delay. Jim "The Cat in the Hat" Rhodes called the whole thing "asinine" - which almost makes you want to ask how much Wal-Mart stock he owns.

Jim Rhodes says he wants a Wal-Mart Super-Center in Columbus because he wants to spend his tax money there, not in Phenix City. With words like those, every Democratic candidate in Georgia will call him for endorsements.

Maybe opponents of the Midland Wal-Mart could learn something from a man down the highway in Talbot County. Officials there claim Larry Bartlett intimidated crews working on a new bridge, by carrying a pistol in his yard -- and we all know how much Wal-Mart respects gun owners' rights.

Talbot County Commissioner Vernon Allen claimed Tuesday workers felt threatened on Waverly Hall Road, because of Larry Bartlett and his pistol. If they feel shaken, imagine what could happen if S.O.A. Watch protesters hold a march there next month.

But wife Kathy Bartlett said Tuesday the whole thing was blown out of proportion by Commissioner Vernon Allen. She explained her husband carries a pistol around his yard to shoot snakes. And the difference between snakes in the grass and government employees is - well, for some people there's no difference at all....

Kathy Bartlett says her husband also was upset last weekend, because bridge workers bulldozed trash onto their property. Hmmmm, there's an idea. Can we give the Chattahoochee Riverkeeper a "concealed carry" permit?

The Bartletts apparently also disapproved of a trailer set up at the Waverly Hall Road bridge project. Talbot County officials explain it's there to give workers a break - so apparently there are NO plans to sell it to 11 or 12 Central American immigrants.

Larry and Kathy Bartlett admit they know a new bridge is needed on Waverly Hall Road. But they deny they're using a pistol to stop the work, and keep traffic past their home to a minimum. There's a better way to keep traffic down, of course - by setting up a toll booth.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION (speaking of sanity) closed Tuesday. The people have spoken, and they say I acted at least a bit insanely when I faced two dog-walkers on the Riverwalk [4 Oct]. No one left any comments - so apparently you're leaving that to my psychiatrist.

Half the voters said my actions with a loose dog were insane. Another 25 percent decided they were "a little" insane (4-2-2) -- and I probably DID go too far by offering to let a man check my pants. Especially since he wasn't wearing a police uniform....

(By the way, to the 25 percent of you who said I was not insane - do you by chance own cats?)

The good news for all of you is that I accept your advice. I hereby choose to change, and move away from insanity. If only other people accused of insanity did this - then no one would be worried about West Central Regional Hospital closing.

It turns out my church pastor agrees with the majority - though he stopped short of calling me insane. He gave a recent sermon about walking in faith, and NOT in fear. The strange thing is that this pastor opposed the series "Fear Factor," and suggested the contestants were foolish and greedy.

There's an unusual P.S. to the story of the dogs on the Riverwalk. Two days after that incident, I jogged in the Historic District and came upon two more dogs on leashes. These dogs were smaller than the earlier ones, so my worst concern was an amputated foot....

Having learned my lesson from two nights before, I hesitated only a moment before jogging on by the man walking his dogs - AND I apologized to him for being rude by hesitating. That man said I wasn't rude at all. But then again, that man in the Historic District sure looked to me like an elected official from Russell County.

Now for other quick bites (none involving dogs) from Tuesday:

+ A CBS News crew visited Fort Benning, and interviewed children whose parents are serving in Iraq. I'm told one man went to post hoping to meet this crew - but they weren't set up at either the Fort Benning Road or Interstate 185 entrances. Why would the U.S. Army hide and protect such obvious liberals?

+ The evening news revealed Columbus has a city law against leaving a child under age 10 alone in a car, for more than five minutes. This rule guards against many things: heat exhaustion, carjackings, kidnappings - not to mention parents complaining all day about wrong drive-through orders.

+ The Springer Opera House hosted a performance by the Formosan Aboriginal Song and Dance Troupe. Some people heard "aboriginal" and thought they were from Australia. Others may have heard the name, and thought about being Anti-Mosan.

(The Columbus Chamber of Commerce persuaded this troupe from Taiwan to make its only appearance in the Southeast at the Springer Opera House. I never realized Chef Lee had this much clout....)

+ Instant Message to the "Baseball Fan" who wrote about our Tuesday joke on the Atlanta-Houston series: My apologies for confusing you. Mathematical humor can be risky, in an area with low S.A.T. scores.

COMING SOON: Our latest journey into Columbus's hottest "begging zone...."

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: A tight time schedule might not allow for a Thursday blog entry. We'll see....)

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