3 OCT 05: LEI-OVER

While big crowds showed up at South Commons over the weekend for the Greater Columbus Fair, a smaller group gathered at the opposite corner of Columbus - and I was among them. Before you ask: no, we did NOT plot a strategy to stop the Wal-Mart SuperCenter in Midland.

Regular blog readers may have the impression the church congregation I attend is a strict, serious bunch. But we DO have fun every once in a while -- and we did over the weekend, by having a luau. I suppose if we had this in Missouri, it could be a SAINT Luau....

The setting for the luau was a family's nice country-style home near County Line Road. We were encouraged to bring finger foods, drinks and pictures of past vacations -- and dress Hawaiian. Thankfully, I was ready for this. I was in Hawaii 17 years ago this week -- and was careful many times during meals to watch for falling coconuts.

I brought my bright-blue Hawaiian shirt with gold orchids to church, put it on after our weekend service and drove to Midland. In Hawaii, I could have worn the Hawaiian shirt DURING the service -- but here on the mainland, we know better and wear suits.

Two young children in the family greeted me as I parked in the driveway. One had a basket of plastic leis, to fit the luau theme. I had a shell lei from my 1988 Hawaii trip, and a plastic lei from a church singles dance a few years ago. The commercials are true -- with leis, bet you can't wear just one.

A CD of soft Hawaiian music played as we chatted before dinner. But some of the outfits made up for it with loudness. A few adult women dared to wear grass skirts -- though I'm not sure about wearing white sneakers with them....

(These daring women were hidden from the general public, because this home has a small lake and scattered pine trees in front of it. If you didn't know better, you might think a wealthy politician lived there.)

Not everyone in our congregation has been to Hawaii, so they tried to look Hawaiian as best they could. One woman wore what she called a "turnpike shirt," promoting various stops on the Florida Turnpike. I doubt you need exact change there -- since after all, their vote counts in elections aren't exact.

At last the time came for dinner -- and this is where we're a different sort of congregation. Our luau did NOT have a roast pig, since we avoid eating pork. Trouble is, I don't know what we call those cocktail franks wrapped in croissant rolls. They can't be "pigs in a blanket...."

For the record: I should note here I did NOT bring brownies to the luau, as I did to that church dinner a couple of weeks ago [18 Sep]. Canned pineapple chunks on toothpicks went rather quickly -- because no one would guess I prepared those.

(Which reminds me: it turns out several people in our congregation became ill after that dinner - though I apparently had the worst reaction of all. Maybe if I laced those brownies with Pepcid tablets....)

The wife of the host family served us pina colada punch with dinner. I could taste the coconut, and a mild bit of pineapple. There apparently was no "secret ingredient" - because I drove home without swerving once.

This family truly thought of everything for a luau. After dinner, some of the ladies (children and adults) followed a video of introductory hula dancing. I would have tried to find a tape from about 15 years ago, when the Kansas football team played in the old Aloha Bowl.

(The Disney film "Lilo and Stitch" came out as I was about to leave for home. That was the only sign of a ukelele I saw all evening - so I guess something WAS missing from the luau after all.)

The evening ended with the host family presenting all the adult guests with a specially-prepared bottle of wine. I don't plan to touch that bottle for a long time - not only because of how it looks, but because I drink alcohol about as often as Atlanta Falcon fans want Matt Schwab to start at quarterback.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening - and since I haven't become sick since, I'm confident in saying we had a luau with all the "lu," and none of the "ow."

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION ended Sunday, on Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue's call for public schools to close. Or as a friend of mine called it, the "conservation vacation...."

Two-thirds of the voters (6-3) say Sonny Perdue was wrong to call for a two-day closing of public schools to conserve fuel. But at least there was one benefit to the decision. No high school football games needed to be canceled Friday night.

(As it happens, a child called me Sunday night to ask if Muscogee County Schools would be closed TODAY because of fuel. Sorry -- "Groundhog Day" only happens in the movies.)

One voter in our question admitted he was puzzled by Governor Perdue's decision. "Either getting kids to school is a major priority or it isn't." Well, it certainly is for one group of people - the parents who can't afford babysitters.

The comment writer goes on to ask: "Should the Northern schools cut the school days given the incredible heating costs they are going to endure?" No, because those schools can find creative ways around that problem - such as having students do experiments in welding and Bunsen burners all day.

"Shame on all Georgians for not bearing the costs," the writer adds - perhaps not realizing public schools bear some energy costs already. I know from experience that Muscogee County school air conditioners ran throughout the four-day fuel savings weekend. Well, maybe not the ones at Carver High, but the others did....

COMING TUESDAY: A Big Blog Question about my sanity.... please do NOT vote early on this....

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