4 APR 05: CHANGING TIMES?

Hopefully you remembered to change your clocks over the weekend, to be on Daylight Time. If you didn't in Columbus, that's OK - because you can pretend you've moved to Opelika and switched to Central Time.

I found a Walgreens store Sunday afternoon which still hadn't moved its clock forward one hour. But this clock was high above the cash register -- and if I understood the woman correctly, the tall basketball player who could reach the clock to change it hadn't arrived yet.

Did you check your smoke detector battery as you changed your clocks? I did the other day, and found my battery was dead - for how long, I have no idea. Someday a genius should create a nine-volt battery which automatically tells you when it's down to five or six.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION wants to know what you think of the switch to Daylight Time. Are the annual grumblers about clock-changing in the majority? Should we stay on Standard Time year-round? Or are you afraid you'll overcook the steaks on the grill, if it gets dark before 8:00 p.m.?

At Port Columbus over the weekend, they turned back the clock instead of springing forward. Sunday marked the final day of a reenactment, marking 140 years since the "Battle of Columbus." We should be thankful no one dared to dress as a Sheriff's deputy or public safety officer.

The mock battleground was set up southwest of Port Columbus. The Union soldiers were on one side of a walkway. The Confederate soldiers were on the other side. The dividing line was a path to the Riverwalk - which might provide inspiration for runners like me to move a little faster.

(Trouble was, the Riverwalk was flooded in spots all day Saturday - so sneaky people in a fishing boat could float by, cast their line to hook some rifles, and change everything.)

Bruce Smith of Port Columbus admits the museum only had a small area of land for staging the Battle of Columbus. There was only room for about 140 soldiers to participate. So this was a bit like the Civil War meeting arena football....

But I was shocked - SHOCKED! - to hear Bruce Smith say an extra battle was added to the weekend schedule. It was the "Battle of Wynnton," which never really happened! Can you imagine this - with General Dinglewood and his "Lieutenant" charging against the giant forces of the Eckerds and Walgreens?

The North won the Battle of Columbus in 1865, in only about 90 minutes. Bruce Smith said the pretend "Battle of Wynnton" had a very different outcome, with the Confederate forces prevailing for a few days. Obviously this man knows whom his paying customers are....

Port Columbus will have events throughout April, marking the anniversary of the Battle of Columbus. I suppose those of you still flying old Georgia state flags outside your homes can go ahead and call it "WHITE History Month."

Now let's come back to the present for some notes from the weekend:

+ A purple robe was hung outside St. Patrick's Catholic Church in Phenix City, to mark the death of Pope John Paul II. This ritual may explain why no one in my family is Catholic. Purple is the color of Kansas State University, while my older brother and I went to Kansas.

(The church I attend historically hasn't thought much of the Pope, based on its understanding of Bible prophecy. One elder in Atlanta years ago borrowed from "Star Wars" movies, and called him "J-2-P-2.")

+ The Muscogee County Humane Society announced it's receiving a $5,000 grant from Iams Pet Food. That's the company "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" is protesting and boycotting. So if you see weird-looking people near Schatulga Road, it might not be a breakout from the mental hospital.

+ The Columbus Riverdragons began "paint the town orange" week, to stir up fan interest in the front-running basketball team. Do any of you Auburn basketball fans have T-shirts you haven't worn in a few months?

+ The Los Angeles Clippers beat the Atlanta Hawks at Philips Arena 111-91. Excuse me for asking this - but given the teams' records, why would anyone attend this game? Unless maybe, they were giving away dates with the dance team?

+ Instant Message to the Cat Walk Lounge: I saw your sign advertising "the beautiful, the ugly" - and I'm going to assume the ugly dancers come out first, and do NOT strip.

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