18 APR 05: AM I DREAMING?
Today let's play a game called "Am I dreaming, or what?" I'll describe a situation - and you make the choice of whether I was dreaming, or, well, WHAT?!?!
1. I'm in a restaurant waiting on the food to arrive, when suddenly I hear a voice. "It's your turn to win!" I look in the direction where I heard the voice, and no one is there. I haven't drunk anything harder than diet cola all day.
Then a moment later, the voice speaks again with enthusiasm: "There's no limit to what you can win!" Am I dreaming -- or what?
2. I'm in my car, driving up the hill on Wynnton Road from downtown. It's a sunny day, and I reach the top of the hill without any problems. Then suddenly, the road runs out and I have to drive through what seems to be a narrow doorway. My car loses traction on wet brown carpeting -- and WHAM! I hit the wall next to the doorway.
This happens a couple of times, in fact. Am I dreaming -- or what?
3. I'm at a nice store in Peachtree Mall, with coupons about to expire. This store happens to have a sale going on, and dress shirts are marked down 50 percent. I find a light blue one in my size, with a regular price of $27.50. I take it to the cash register and hand over one of my coupons.
"Your total will be eight dollars, 17 cents."
I can't hold back, and I giggle. Am I dreaming -- or what?
4. A short drive from what seems like the plains of western Oklahoma, I find myself at Gulf Coast University. This college has a fancy football stadium, but with a difference. Instead of bleachers in the upper deck, there are grassy hills for people to climb and sit.
Am I dreaming -- or what?
5. I'm cruising around Columbus minding my own business, when I pass a restaurant. The outdoor sign of this restaurant offers "Meatball Samiches."
Are my glasses deceiving me? I check again. But no, the sign actually says "samiches" on it. Am I dreaming - or what?
6. The big drawing occurs on live television, and they announce I'm the winner of a fancy dream house! I hurriedly drive to the TV station, where the lovely Elizabeth White hugs and kisses me endlessly in delight....
Am I dreaming -- or what?
Those are the questions. Now let's compare answers:
1. WHAT. I actually heard this voice the other night as I waited inside the Pizza Hut on Victory Drive. Wasn't it some other pizza chain which used to have live entertainment?
"That's the machine," said the man behind the counter. The "Prize Time" machine, he meant - trying to lure children over to grab for items such as stuffed animals. I imagine the workers wind up talking with that machine once in a while, on a slow day.
2. DREAMING. This nightmare came to me one day last week. Except it was after an overnight shift, while I slept at late morning - so are there day-mares?
My brain must have had serious flashbacks, to experience a dream like this. While I've driven up Wynnton Road countless times over the years, my carpet was last wet from a broken water heater 19 months ago [4 Sep 03] -- and I haven't watched THAT many NASCAR races on TV this season.
3. WHAT. Macy's was in the midst of its "anniversary sale" Sunday, and I had coupons for holding its new "red star" credit card. This department store should be thankful Russia's government is still weak - or it might be under investigation.
"Timing is everything," I said to the man behind the counter when he told me my $29.50 dress shirt cost only around eight dollars. It's also a matter of patience - since department stores such as Macy's can't possibly believe people will pay nearly 30 dollars for a short-sleeve shirt made in Nicaragua. It's called Wal-Mart, folks....
4. DREAMING. Don't ask me what brought on a dream about college football on the gulf coast in mid-April. I don't even understand why people show up or tune in to watch "A-Day" or "G-Day" spring games in Alabama or Georgia. Are people THAT addicted to football?
I think the "gulf coast" words popped into my dream because of a weekend Columbus Catfish series. Several players with visiting Rome were promoted from the "Gulf Coast League." If home plate is on the side of the Gulf of Mexico, sea breezes will help any home run hitter get promotions....
5. WHAT. You'll find a sign promoting "samiches" outside the Taste of the North restaurant on Manchester Expressway. So I guess the people up North are really the ones with the funny accents.
(Let's see - could "meatball samiches" be made for "Sam I Am," with green ham? I shudder at the thought of that....)
I spotted this sign Sunday, one day after passing a Columbus grade school's sign encouraging students to get plenty of rest for their upcoming CRCT exams. Isn't this a time of year to set a right example for our children -- and write complete words?
(Before you write to complain about this shop - the "La Nacional" store down the street DOES have its sign accurate. It's spelled the Spanish way, but it's accurate....)
6. DREAMING. If I wanted to gamble, I'd put one dollar on the Mega Millions jackpot. It costs less - and at $148 million, I could buy several homes.
The honor of hugging Elizabeth White (or maybe Dee Armstrong) Sunday actually went to Phenix City's Lee Cole - drawn as the winner of this year's St. Jude Dream Home. How many Garrett Creek subdivision residents saw this and said, "An Alabamian?! There goes the neighborhood...."
By the way, it was good to see radio announcer "Johnny Outlaw" during the St. Jude telethon Sunday. He was in a nasty-looking car wreck about ten days ago. Of course, now he might organize his own telethon for the Columbus Regional emergency room.
THE BIG BLOG QUESTION is all new as of Sunday afternoon. We're taking an unofficial Riverfest count - so we can know whether to set aside more land on Broadway for vendors and artists, or marchers with picket signs.
E-MAIL UPDATE: It's now been two weeks since your blog was mentioned in the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer [3 Apr] - and STILL no one at church has mentioned it. If I'm not on the front page of the "Faith and Spirit" section, I guess I'm a typical run-of-the-mill ordinary Christian.
An e-mail reached me, however - from another person mentioned in Allison Kennedy's article:
Hey Richard,
I randomly stumbled across your mention of the ledger article, and though I would take the time to give you the links you weren't able to find on the net.
My site can be located at www.sandyjohnson.net. Unfortunately I work full time and attend CSU in the evenings, so the post have been lacking lately....
Abbey actually runs a livejournal site that can be located here:....
I was disappointed as well that she didn't put any links to the blogs in the article. Seems like she would have, so others could check out what she was talking about.
anyway...talk to you later!
Sandy Johnson
Thanks for leading me to them, Sandy. Considering the newspaper's web site ran a big poll last week on whether Phenix City should change its name, perhaps they're afraid all the car dealers will start advertising with US.
Sandy Johnson describes himself on his web site as a "twenty-something geek" who's addicted to Apple Computers products. So perhaps that explains why he challenged the Cascade Hills Church "iGod" series in March - he thought a church was doing something sacreligious.
Sandy Johnson's latest post is about receiving invitations through "Yahoo 360." He's certainly a hip guy. I haven't even received a personal invitation to watch "Anderson Cooper 360" on CNN.
Sandy Johnson referred to another local blogger who uses the name "AbbeyRhoade." Her latest entry in "Kate's Journal" on Friday declared she can't wait to leave town, and is "sick of Columbus in general." What's this college student's major - criminal justice?!?
Kate's Journal goes on to describe a "graduation present from daddy" in the form of an August cruise - and a "massive keg party the weekend before graduation because Dad will be out of town." I'm going to assume from this that Kate's father knows nothing about her blog....
We have one other e-mail, relating to a Sunday Instant Message:
Mr. Burkard,
I would appreciate it if you would spell my name correctly! Thanking you very kindly....
ROSALYN HALL
Oops! Please forgive me, Officer Hall - and please don't encourage other officers to install traffic cameras on my street.
(Shame on me for misspelling her first name. She doesn't even look like Roslyn Giles....)
And oh yes: congratulations, Officer ROSALYN Hall, on winning the "To Serve and Protect" award from WXTX AGAIN Sunday night. If this trend continues, some people are going to start thinking you're the sole remaining member of the Columbus Police Department.
There were plenty of other things to think about Sunday:
+ Members of the Columbus Public Safety Advisory Commission told WCGT's "Out of Order" South Columbus homeowners seem to want restrictions put on rental property. Like what, for instance? Should all renters be kept locked in their apartments after sunset?
+ The annual "Celebrity Challenge" competition for charity took place on the Columbus Riverwalk. No, I was NOT invited to be a part of this. As of April 2005, bloggers in Columbus are not yet considered celebrities.
+ The Columbus Catfish hosted a "family fun fest" outside Golden Park, complete with a touring "minor league baseball museum." You know it's minor league, when the whole thing can be housed on a mini-hauler.... [True!]
+ Columbus State's women's softball team won the Peach Belt Conference tournament, beating Kennesaw State in the finals 10-7. It's yet another C.S.U. win over a Kennesaw State team about to advance to NCAA Division I sports. Maybe Kennesaw should consider dropping to Division III instead.
+ Instant Message to King Ford in Valley: Some people never learn, do they? Why play "Dixie" in your new TV commercial?!? It's now been 140 years. The Confederacy lost. So deal with it....
BIG PREDICTION: The last two Popes have been named "John Paul." But I dare to predict as the big Catholic conclave begins today, the next Pope will NOT call himself "George Ringo."
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