19 APR 05: THE WANDERING DUCK

AFLAC announced Monday it's donating one million dollars to "Building Habitat" - the new charity Millard Fuller is organizing. Maybe he should change its name to "Building a Bankroll."

Millard Fuller says AFLAC's donation is in two parts. Half of the million dollars will go to Columbus "Building Habitat" programs - or as they're already calling this at the Columbus Home Depot, manager bonuses.

The other half of AFLAC's million-dollar donation will be given over five years, for housing projects around the world. Don't expect any of those projects to be in China - not after that new AFLAC commercial, where a delivery guy brings duck for dinner.

(Hey, wait a minute! This could be a perfect fit - a mallard helping a Millard....)

This million-dollar donation comes less than a week after AFLAC employees completed weeks of work on a Habitat for Humanity house in Columbus. Now the insurance company is helping a group which Habitat for Humanity is threatening to sue. Has anyone double-checked the nails on that new house?

(Perhaps AFLAC is making this donation in an effort to make peace between Building Habitat and Habitat for Humanity. It might be better off building a covered walkway between the groups' headquarters in Americus.)

Millard Fuller insisted in Monday interviews his new charity will NOT compete with Habitat for Humanity. He calls Building Habitat a "support group" for anyone who wants to provide low-income housing. Some women would argue Fuller needs a support group - to recover from sexual misconduct.

Did you hear one TV interview, where Millard Fuller started to call his new program "Habitat for Humanity?" It must be hard breaking that habit, after more than 30 years with that organization. It's apparently much easier to stop writing checks to Habitat, as some supporters have done....

By the way, Millard Fuller seems unconcerned about a possible lawsuit over the name "Building Habitat." He claims Habitat for Humanity got the idea for the Habitat name years ago from the United Nations. If Kofi Annan had been Secretary General back then, payoffs to his son might have been required.

This big donation makes two million-dollar gifts AFLAC has announced so far this year. In January it offered a million for a Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial in Washington. So how can I apply for the next million-dollar gift in July? I suggest opening a Blog Hall of Fame near the Riverwalk....

E-MAIL UPDATE: It was a busy Monday for our Inbox, starting with a visit it appears all Columbus news reporters missed:

Seems Vince Dooley was at the Government Center Tuesday afternoon,April 12th.He was visiting the Honorable Juvenile Court Judge Cohn.Do you know we only have one- and- a -half Juvenile Judges serving our area? I need to do some homework,but I think we are in need of at least a few.We really need to "Tackle", "pun intended Vince", this with our state Legislatures.Judge Cohn and the other half,Warner Kennon, have at least 400 to 500 Foster Care children to protect and place,along with the traffic cases of minors,and the detention cases,and more.We may be better served to ponder this issue at the front end....rather than picket for a sad ending of Judicial red tape. Two main Theories of Childrens rights under Juvenile Law: Protectionist-Minors are entitled to protection....Personhood-Children are entitled to be recognized as autonomous persons.With this said..how could we not choose to see this thru to the end..zone:"sorry" Signing out- BAM {not call letters for any organization,radio station,or T.V. station}

OK, BAM - you're not an organization or a broadcasting station. But are you connected with Emeril Lagasse's cooking shows?

It's easy to see why Vince Dooley would make a visit to Juvenile Court Judge Aaron Cohn. As Georgia's former head football coach, he knows the importance of good "protection" as well as anyone....

But what was the REAL reason for Vince Dooley to make this trip to Columbus? Was he checking the new Aaron Cohn Youth Development Center - in case University of Georgia athletes might need to spend some time there?

But to the point of this message: It's easy to find room for improvement in all parts of the criminal justice system. Some picketers this weekend will demand better judges. Other people want money to hire more judges. And then there are Republicans who want to combine the two -- starting with the impeachment of judges.

And if children should be recognized as "autonomous persons," then let's do it the right way. Have those children earn money to buy their own autos - so mothers don't have to drive them all over town anymore.

Moving on: we corrected the spelling of an award-winning Columbus Police Officer's name Monday, after she wrote your blog about it. She wrote us again, following up on our follow-up:

Mr. Burkard,

Instant Message: If someone doesn't wake up to the sad state of affairs re: Police salaries........I WILL BE THE SOLE REMAINING EMBER OF THE Columbus Police Department!!!!!

Rosalyn Hall

It's at least nice to see I-M-not in trouble with her any more....

If Officer Hall winds up being a one-woman police force, there could be some fringe benefits. She'd win the WXTX "Protect and Serve" award every month And the combined salaries of all police positions would be hers - assuming criminals didn't raid the Public Safety Center and steal the money from her.

Speaking of having one person in charge, we made a BIG PREDICTION here Monday that the next Pope would NOT follow two John Pauls with the name "George Ringo." That may have touched off a local "Name That Pope" contest:

If he takes the name Yoko Uno, I am blaming you, Richard!

Ed Joyce

Very good, sir - for turning the "Yoke-o" right back on me!

I heard someone on National Public Radio say last week the next Pope will NOT name himself Sixtus - because based on Catholic history, he would become Sixtus the sixth. Some readers of "Left Behind" books probably hope the Pope DOES take that name, to end the debate about the book of Revelation once and for all.

Thanks to all of you for writing - now let's finish MY writing about Monday activities:

+ "Partners in Education" week began in Muscogee County schools, with principals and corporate executives trading positions for a day. So how many Synovus employees were threatened with spankings?

+ Callaway Gardens designated part of its land as Georgia's first conservation easement. It's under the new Forest Legacy Program, or FLP. I can think of some private developers who don't care a FLiP for programs like this....

+ The Columbus Catfish beat Charleston, South Carolina 4-0, and marked Patriots Day by letting anyone wearing Boston Red Sox items in free. Excuse me for asking this -- but wouldn't New England Patriots clothing be more appropriate?

(The Catfish continue this stunt tonight, because the Charleston River Dogs are a farm team of the New York Yankees. In fact, it's "Yankees Go Home Night" - which is dangerous, because Columbus Riverdragon Neil Yanke might leave the team right before the championship game.)

+ Georgia Public Broadcasting showed the "World Latin Dance Finals." When this event is held in Germany, two of the top three couples come from Denmark and the announcers sound incredibly British, I take it word of this contest never reached Brazil.

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