26 APR 05: DRIP DRIED

A long, long wait suddenly ended for me Monday morning with a knock at the door. Before you get your hopes up - no, I did NOT have a date....

The man at the door was a plumber, making another check of my leaky bathtub faucet. Well, make that the first check in a couple of years. He'd talked back then about coming back to rip out tiles and install a brand-new faucet -- but promises like that tend to go down the drain.

I've had a chronic problem with a dripping bathtub almost since the day I moved to Columbus -- but in recent months the leak of hot water grew worse, and so did my bills. When the natural gas bill tops $100 a month and you never turn up the heat during winter, it's just about time to call for help.

I'd tried turning off the hot water spigot with so much force, the handle fell with a loud clang on the bathtub floor - yet the leak continued. It was almost as if my apartment was assigned to represent the nickname "Fountain City."

I alerted my landlord to the bathtub dilemma again in early March. But apparently the landlord's official plumber was so busy, it took almost two months for him to visit. Does Columbus have that many "Desperate Housewives?"

The landlord's office called me at home last week, assuring me it was trying to get the plumber out to see me -- and that he'd have a key to get inside. For the journalist in me, this all sounded a bit familiar. But then, Watergate was more than 30 years ago.

Thankfully, my serious spring cleaning was complete Monday -- so the bathroom was by and large presentable when the plumber showed up. But I DID have to take a moment and explain why my potted plant was in the bathtub. The forecast called for possible frost, after all....

The last visit by the plumber was long, frustrating for him and inconclusive. So imagine my surprise Monday when he picked himself up to leave in about 15 minutes. Did he finally surrender, and cover my bathtub faucet with bubble gum?

It turned out all I needed was a new washer on the faucet to stop the latest leak. If I'd known that, I would have gone to a hardware store and bought one myself -- but for years, I couldn't stop the bathtub leak with a giant wrench which seems a better fit for swimming pools.

As he left, the plumber admitted the new washer might not solve the bathtub drip completely. He plans to ask my landlord if we should go ahead and tear out tiles for a new faucet, which was done for one of my neighbors. If they do, I plan to have a can of insecticide ready - because I suspect we'll wake up a lot of roaches.

As I write this Monday night, the bathtub is NOT leaking and the gas water heater is quiet. But to be honest, I haven't turned on the bathtub faucet since the plumber left. I'm almost tempted to go out and buy a giant box of "Wet Ones," to keep my utility budget in line....

E-MAIL UPDATE: After a period of quiet, "IsOurCitySafe" is speaking up again about Columbus public safety:

Lets say you and a fellow employee began working at Company X at the same time with the same education level and at the same starting salary. During the first few years of your employment, you receive excellent yearly evaluations, you don't have any disciplinary actions taken against you, and you have not wrecked any company vehicles. Your fellow employee receives unacceptable yearly evaluations, has been suspended several times for various company policy violations, and has wrecked more than one company vehicle. You and your fellow employee receive the same pay raises...none. One of two things is going to occur when you realize that your dedication to Company X has absolutely no reward whatsoever. You are going to leave Company X for a company that compensates its employees accordingly or you are going to become a sorry employee just like your fellow employee. Would you continue to work for a company like Company X?

This is just one of the reasons the Columbus Police Department cannot retain qualified, hard-working, dedicated Police Officers.

Would you work for a department that has no pay scale? Would you work at a job where your life expectancy is twenty years shorter than the average citizen? Would you work at a job where you spend 35yrs of your life and then retire at 45% of your final salary when other places are offering 25yr retirement at 75-80% retirement? That is just a few examples of what the City of Columbus is asking people to do. Would you do it?

There is no pay scale for a new employee to look at and know that if they do a good job, receive excellent evaluations, and receive no disciplinary actions, they will be making a certain salary. I think that the starting salaries at the Columbus Police Department are close to where they need to be due to the fact that the cost of living in Columbus is not as high as some larger cities. The problem exists when officers who do a good job stay here for a few years, then realize there is no benefit to staying at a department that does not give raises based on a job well done.

Why not implement a pay scale where dedicated employees are encouraged not to become sorry employees or offer some sort of longevity pay like other departments?

By "bumping up" the starting salary for new employees, our fine leaders just add to the problem of pay compression...but thats a whole different subject.

I have been preaching that Columbus has a serious problem with Police Officer shortages and finally citizens are taking notice. Don't just sit there and complain that it takes an hour for an officer to come to your house on an urgent call...do something! Continue to complain to the city government who apparently does not care. When the citizens start coming down on our "leaders", something will be done.

Wade Sheridan

The way Wade started this message, I thought he'd finally changed his subject - away from police pay, and to major league baseball....

So the Columbus Police Department has "no pay scale" at all? Do police chiefs simply make up raises as they go along? If that's the way it works, maybe former Chief Willie Dozier should move to California and help run an Internet company.

At least we should at the bright side of the retirement pay issue. If police officers retire at "45 percent of final salary," at least they have a percentage of it. Some employees retire with nothing more than a nice pocket watch and a ten-percent discount on Wednesdays at Winn-Dixie.

If Wade really thinks the answer to police pay lies in continuing to complain to the city government, he hasn't been paying attention to the news lately. Civil rights leaders have tried this approach for 16 months, and they still can't get David Glisson put behind bars.

The "IsOurCitySafe" e-mails go to a wide range of famous names in Columbus (and yes, even to this blog) - but this recent e-mail apparently entered one workplace InBox too many. We know because of this wide-ranging reply:

Dear Wade Sheridan

Thank you for your comments it is appreciated but I would really appreciate if you would not email at this address. This is not a city email address and I can get in trouble for receiving email not related to my job. If you wish to email me please email at mwoodson@Columbusga.org at any time. I am asking
you to please not affect my family income by emailing me at this address. Thank you and have a nice day.

Always Mimi

We wouldn't want Columbus Councilor Mimi Woodson to get in trouble at her job. But how many of those college students with web-cams have heeded her request?

Is someone monitoring Mimi Woodson's e-mail at her job? Her reply leaves that impression. Maybe the employee with the most spam every week has to buy lunch for the entire office.

Some e-mail accounts allow you to divide messages into separate files. I'm not sure why Mimi Woodson can't move city-related e-mails to an "after-hours file," forward them to her Columbus Council InBox - or bring her own paper to work for printing out, to avoid a conflict of interest.

We're not the only ones concerned about Mimi Woodson, as one more e-mail from "IsOurCitySafe" makes clear:

The following is a letter sent to one of our fine city leaders by a citizen.

Ms. Woodson

I live in the eastern part of Columbus. The response time for a police call in my neighborhood is over an hour. That's just not fair. I pay taxes and participate in local elections. There is a police officer living across the street from me and a Sheriff's deputy living behind me but they are assigned to other parts of the city.

I understand why the majority of the police officers on duty are assigned to areas of the city with higher crime rates. But this does not lessen the burden of city government to provide police coverage for all of the citizens. In talking with several police officers, I have learned that there are many sections of our city that do not have one officer on duty because of the shortage of officers. You as an elected city leader cannot continue to pass over this issue.

Lowering the standards for police officers does not make me feel any safer than if there continues to be a shortage of officers on the streets. I do not want someone coming to my aide who could not even pass a college entrance exam.

One final thought for you personally. If someone should vandalize your home or threaten your safety, with the lack of concern and support that you and other council members have demonstrated, do you really think the officers on duty will "rush" to help you?

My response:

Dear concerned citizen,

I am angry too about how the leaders of this city have let our safety concerns fall on deaf ears. The truth of the matter is that they just don't care. They will continue not to care until they are the victims of serious crimes or their precious seat at the semi-circle is threatened. I promise you the first time that one of the chosen group falls prey to a robbery or home invasion, the public safety problems will become their first priority. Lets all remember this when election time rolls around.

Wade Sheridan

If this is true, this truly is strange. Why can't Columbus police officers be assigned to the neighborhoods where they live? Besides, if they live in the high-crime neighborhoods, their cost of housing probably will go down.

But hold on: this writer doesn't want someone coming to his/her aide "who could not even pass a college entrance exam"?! I'd like to see this person ask for the diplomas of rescuers, if he or she ever is drowning at a lake.

It almost sounds like the advocates for better public safety pay want city officials to become crime victims. Remember, at least two Columbus Councilors and one local Sheriff have had children face the law in the last couple of years. If that hasn't helped them see law officers on the job, what else will?

I'm sure Wade Sheridan and his allies will pay close attention to today's Columbus Council meeting. Mayor Bob Poydasheff plans to unveil his proposed budget for the next fiscal year - and I predict the only way e-mail complaints will stop is if the mayor offers to make every police officer a millionaire.

Mayor Bob Poydasheff told WRBL Monday his proposed budget will have "unique, innovative proposals." He wouldn't say exactly what those are - but the budget numbers had better not be in Russian rubles.

Mayor Poydasheff hinted he might dip into city reserve money to help balance the budget. Right now Columbus has 31 million dollars in reserve -- which I think is about as much as the New York Yankees pay all of THEIR reserves.

One-cent sales tax critic, veteran advocate and serial hat-wearer Jim Rhodes declared Monday he doesn't think the city's budget-balancing problem is really that bad. He agrees Columbus doesn't need an 89-day reserve of money. So how about sharing it with some of the residents who DO need it?

Jim Rhodes was asked what he would do to cut Columbus city costs. One suggestion was to stop "baby-sitting" students in after-school programs. Now there's an intriguing idea - have the school bus drop children off at their parents' workplace. Then they can make their own miniature mill blankets or Pratt & Whitney engines.

So what else happened Monday? I'm glad you asked....

+ Alabama government offices were closed to mark Confederate Memorial Day. Yet for some reason, I didn't hear any white state official declare it "a day on, not a day off."

+ Muscogee County School Board member John Wells said the district needs a uniform dress code policy. Wells then had to explain to reporters he did NOT want all students wearing uniforms....

(John Wells said at some schools, it's no big deal if a shirt isn't tucked in. But at other schools, students can be suspended for three days -- and Wells suggested those suspensions go too far. After all, the shirt sticking out covers the gap to those low-riding jeans.)

+ Residents of the Spring Villa Park development in Beauregard reported giant sinkholes have developed on their property. They blame a nearby rock quarry -- which is surprising, because in other parts of Alabama they'd be watching for UFO's.

+ Two Fort Benning soldiers who won the "Best Ranger" competition were awarded their prizes, including new Colt-.45 pistols. All the other soldiers who finished the 60-hour marathon were happy simply to rest at their barracks, with Colt-45 malt liquor.

+ Instant Message to Clear Channel Radio: Was what I saw on a Front Avenue building Monday evening accurate? Is Columbus about to have the "Sunny 100 Space Science Center?" Won't it be harder to explore space when the sun's out?

COMING SOON: My invitation to join a group of "Casanovas...."

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