9 FEB 05: HOW DRY THEY ARE

Tuesday was a difficult day for residents of the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park -- as Columbus Water Works shut off the water for everyone. Whoever thought this will bring "Earth Wind and Fire" to Columbus for a concert must be dreaming....

Columbus Water Works explained the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park on Cusseta Road had about $5,000 in unpaid water bills. The bills go back to September 2001! C'mon, folks -- the Columbus water supply wasn't attacked by terrorists that day, and it still hasn't happened.

The residents of Mockingbird Mobile Home Park say they pay $200 a month for their lots - and that's supposed to include their water. So why wasn't the bill paid? Did the managers decide their definition of "water bill" was a trip to a Biloxi casino?

Did I hear it right - the manager of the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park is a man named Plummer?! You'd think a man named Plummer would care about keeping the water flowing at a place like this....

The manager named Plummer could not be found Tuesday. One TV station tracked down one of the mobile home park's three owners - and that woman promptly hung up the phone on the reporter. It's not like they're asking questions about AFLAC management....

One resident of the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park talked about buying 20 gallons of water at a store, to take care of needs such as bathing. Which kind is better for your bathtub - Dasani or Perrier?

(Wait until Fort Benning's Third Brigade reads about that person's plight. Sometimes they do well in Iraq simply to get one tall water bottle and a "Wet Ones" cloth.)

Look around the Mockingbird Mobile Home Park, and you'll see several abandoned mobile homes with smashed windows. It's not the classiest-looking neighborhood in Columbus - but then again, how many mobile homes ARE within a mile of Green Island Hills?

Columbus Water Works suggests Mockingbird residents take up a collection to pay some of the $5,000 debt, so the water can be turned on again. But if water is part of the monthly rent, why should they do this? Give them the water back, and have them drive their bags of trash to the landfill to make up for this.

Could the owners of this mobile home park be trying to force all the residents out, so they can sell the property for development? If so, you could almost write a book about it - oh, except the title "To Kill a Mockingbird" already is taken.

(Come to think of it, that land on Cusseta Road could be just what some group is looking for. It's about time they put a "St. Jude Dream Home" in this part of Columbus.)

The timing of this shutoff was interesting, as Columbus city officials held a meeting Tuesday night on cleaning up the Winterfield neighborhood. That neighborhood includes Cusseta Road, where Mockingbird is located. A few crumpled trailers can make the trash piles look much taller.

As it happened, someone representing MY landlord visited my home Tuesday - only in my case, there's too much water. Longtime blog readers will recall I've had a leaking bathtub faucet ever since I moved to Columbus, and now it's worse than ever. I'm not sure even the New England Patriots' defense can shut this thing down.

I reported the bathtub problem AGAIN to the landlord a couple of months ago, after my Columbus Water Works bill for a small apartment climbed above 55 dollars. My latest bill shows I'm using 11 "CCF" a month -- which computes to more than 8,000 gallons! I don't even drink that much soda in a week, during the summer.

The bathtub faucet's leak isn't a drip-drip-drip. It's a slow stream of warm water - and that's affecting my budget in other ways. My latest natural gas bill for a small apartment is above 110 dollars. It has to be for the gas water heater firing up over and over again - because I'm NOT trying to grow marijuana in this place at all.

"Came in to check your bath tub," said a note I found on the kitchen table after work. I'm glad the landlord's representative checked it. Now will I have to wait two more years, before a crew again comes to attempt to FIX it?

I wish, though, the landlord's representative could have warned me he was coming to check the bathtub. My apartment is a serious mess at the moment. Between work, exercise, keeping your blog and doing other projects, things have piled up in some places. The fact that he left his note on a dinner plate was a clue....

BLOG UPDATE: Well, what do you know - Columbus City Manager Isaiah Hugley announced Tuesday the city has more than $600,000 extra to spend. The public safety supporters have suspected for some time extra city money was lurking somewhere. But they were too busy "throwing rocks" to track it down themselves.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley explained the extra $600,000 is money for the CURRENT budget year, not the next one which starts July 1. So the forecast for city government remains unchanged -- cool and comfortable now, followed by a long and hot summer.

It was interesting to see how the city proposes to divide the extra $600,000. The Civic Center would get $100,000 of it, to promote upcoming events. Maybe that much money will guarantee Michelle Kwan REALLY appears with "Champions on Ice."

Now other Tuesday notes, about skating and other things:

+ "Trees Columbus" announced it's received a million-dollar federal "Streetscape" grant, to improve the look of Veterans Parkway downtown. There's a definite plan to this. Businesses on Veterans can move west to Broadway - and replace the businesses closing because of Streetscape construction work there.

+ Congratulations to Columbus resident Bernice Barber, who turned 100 years old! Why, she's probably old enough to remember the last time Columbus public safety workers were satisfied with their pay.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths annihilated Asheville 5-1 without Coach Jerome Bechard. He was suspended, so former player Mick Kempffer was hired to fill in behind the bench. If hockey coaching is that easy to do, the Snakes should have a booth at upcoming job fairs.

(Wasn't this clever scheduling on the part of the Cottonmouths? They didn't dare take on an Asheville team on Ash Wednesday.)

+ Instant Message to all Fort Benning soldiers: Despite what one of your officers tried to tell friends at a restaurant, the Mardi Gras parties ended Tuesday night. If you go to New Orleans and get smashed now, the Catholic Church holds no responsibility for it.

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