13 FEB 05: GOING TWO-WIDE

After a couple of chilly, windy days, Saturday night brought a sure sign that spring is on the way. No, not the mild weather. Not even the discovery of a couple of weeds in a neighbor's yard. It was the fact that stock cars were racing at Daytona.

The "Bud Shootout" which doesn't really count marked the start of a new NASCAR era in Columbus. If you dialed around the radio and couldn't find the race, that's because it moved from AM to FM -which still beats having to pay to hear it on XM.

After years of NASCAR races on Clear Channel AM stations such as WSHE, NASCAR has moved to WKCN "Kissin' 99.3" FM. Yet this station kept calling itself "Continuous Country" throughout the Bud Shootout! I guess they stay country during races is through sportscaster Barney Hull speaking sloppy English.

A coupon mailing I received the other day declared Kissin' 99.3 "Columbus's home for the Nextel Cup Series Racing." But country music competitor WSTH "Rooster 106" claims it's going to broadcast NASCAR races, too. And the only way you can hear East Alabama Motor Speedway races is by parking close to the track.

So what's going on here? Kissin' 99.3 will have NASCAR races from the Motor Racing Network, while Rooster 106 will carry races from the Performance Racing Network. You'll have to dial back and forth each weekend to find it - and if you get fed up with this, "Rock 103" in the middle will be waiting for you.

The Performance Racing Network handles NASCAR races at tracks owned by Bruton Smith. This includes Atlanta Motor Speedway, so Rooster 106 will handle the races there in March. Now if they'll only name an "official chicken restaurant" of the broadcasts....

I suspect some people turn on the NASCAR radio broadcasts while they watch races on TV, so they don't miss anything when the telecasts go to commercials. But FM listeners are bound to be disappointed by one thing - the radio networks don't shut up so you can "crank it up," the way Fox does.

By the way, it was nice to see Georgia's Bill Elliott in the Bud Shootout. This season marks 20 years since he made history by winning the "Winston Million." Due to all the tobacco lawsuits, I'm not sure Winston has a million dollars left today to spend on that sort of thing.

BLOG-BLAH-BLAH: We're seeking suggestions on what to name the successor to the Boom Boom Room. The owner plans to open a club near South Lumpkin Road -- which inspired this e-mail:

Though this is probably close to reality, the owner won't like it:

The Lump Dump or Dump on the Lump

Regards,

Ed Joyce

Watch out there, Ed - you risk Lump-ing together a lot of other businesses here.

(Come to think of it, Columbus has both North Lumpkin and South Lumpkin Roads - so does this mean our city prefers two Lumps instead of one?)

Now let's risk taking some lumps of our own, by sending Instant Messages:

+ To Columbus Regional Healthcare: Congratulations on opening the John B. Amos Cancer Center Saturday. I'm glad you had the good sense not to build TWO buildings with curves bulging toward Veterans Parkway - if (ahem) you know what I mean....

+ To Tate Furniture: Thank you for daring to do what no other business did for years. I was starting to think the old Wal-Mart building on the 280 Bypass in Phenix City was under a curse.

+ To Cheryl Cloud at the Russell County Jail: Yes, I know you're innocent of murder until proven guilty. But c'mon - six children with six different fathers?! Are you trying to get on the Maury Povich Show or something?

+ To Eufaula Mayor Jay Jaxon: Instead of lobbying to rename your city "Lake Eufaula," how about lobbying to rename the lake after the late Tom Mann? He helped make that lake famous. Besides, Oklahoma has a Eufaula Lake of its own.

+ To Auburn sportscaster Rod Bramblett: When you shout "Feelin' It!" during a basketball game, should I assume a Tiger player made a shot - or is analyst Damian Fishback kicking you in the shins?

+ To St. Luke United Methodist Church: About that "Sex and the Bible" series you're starting tonight for college students - are you going to do things in that order?

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