^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

21 JUN 04: JOSEPH'S DREAM

Another new sign popped up outside my apartment over the weekend. This one doesn't name the complex [9 Jun] - it urges you to elect Joseph Roberson to the Muscogee County School Board. If only they had polled the apartment residents for their approval first....

Whoever planted the Joseph Roberson sign on the apartment complex lawn also left fliers on every door, inviting you to attend a rally for his campaign next Saturday. Considering he's running for school board, it would have helped him if the flier had spelled it "Rigdon Park" and not "Ridgon."

I can't attend the Joseph Roberson rally next Saturday - but I know where to meet him. He's the Pastor of South Columbus United Methodist Church on Benning Drive. I wasn't afraid about visiting this part of town -- since the church is
safely across the street from Baker Village, and the parking lot is quite deep.

To get personal answers to my questions, I decided to attend Joseph Roberson's church service Sunday. The Yellow Pages ad describes it as "a multiracial church for all people." I guess all the other races attend the 8:15 a.m. service, because I was one of only three white folks in the sanctuary at 11:00 a.m.

No, there is NOT a yard sign for Joseph Roberson in front of South Columbus United Methodist Church. But a car in the parking lot had a big sign promoting his campaign. If anyone wants to organize a parade in the next 30 days, he's ready.

Sunday was Father's Day, of course - and at South Columbus United Methodist, it was also "Men's Day." Awards were presented to the Father of the Year, and two "Men of the Year." Does this send a mixed message - that somehow it takes two men to be one father?

A check of the announcement bulletin revealed Joseph Roberson's Associate Pastor is Denise Walton - the woman who happens to be the treasurer of his school board campaign. Apparently this Pastor is different from Bobby Peters. He has no
ex-wife to handle the money.

It took awhile to figure out, but I finally identified Pastor Joseph Roberson. He wore a white corsage for his deceased father, and a bright-red bow tie on his black suit. If you didn't know better, you'd mistake the Pastor for a Nation of Islam security guard.

The Father's Day service had a guest speaker - but first there was a special guest in the audience: "Sheriff-Elect Robert Taylor is here," Pastor Roberson declared as he let Ralph Johnson's opponent stand and give a short speech. Come back in November and see if this Pastor has the gift of prophecy.

"I'm behind this man," Pastor Joseph Roberson told his congregation about sheriff candidate Robert Taylor. Trouble is, churches which endorse candidates in political races risk losing their tax-exempt status with the Internal Revenue Service. If this pastor opposes deputies interrupting services, wait until I.R.S. agents show up.

Robert Taylor openly asked for votes from South Columbus United Methodist worshipers during the service - and even handed out fliers in the lobby as people left. This means the door is open for Sheriff Ralph Johnson can do this. But let's face it: most white churches are too dignified and proper to allow this sort of thing.

I grew up as a United Methodist, but this church service was different from any other I'd seen. Candidates give speeches for their campaigns. All the fathers received small plastic tool boxes (even me, and I'm NOT a dad). And the service stretched two-and-a-half hours -- where most Methodists get annoyed at anything past one.

More than one hour into the service, Pastor Joseph Roberson introduced the Men's Day guest speaker - State Senator Ed Harbison. "He's BAD!" the Pastor said. My Pastor would accuse him of promoting congregational confusion -- but my Pastor's quite pro-Republican, so he might have agreed with it.

Ed Harbison spent a great deal of his message encouraging people to vote. This afternoon is the deadline to register for the July 20 Georgia Primary. Joseph Roberson's opponent Owen Ditchfield needs to find a Monday morning revival meeting fast.

Ed Harbison DID speak a bit about fatherhood on Father's Day. He declared at one point, "All of our men are in jail...." So I guess the "Men in Black" choir which performed was put back on the bus after the service was over.

Ed Harbison gave Joseph Roberson one piece of advice, should he win election to the Muscogee County School Board. The Senator said there should be NO "three strikes" policy to kick out schoolchildren who misbehave. Maybe you should wait until the fourth student is stabbed....

Ed Harbison went on to say taxpaying parents should receive respect from the school board. "The Kenneth Walker case was about respect," he explained. And that's been the debate for six months, hasn't it? It's respecting the law officer, versus respecting a $100 million lawsuit.

As the South Columbus United Methodist service ended, Pastor Joseph Roberson urged people to attend his Saturday afternoon rally - but he worded the appeal very carefully. After all, God struck down some people in the Bible who tried to put themselves in charge of things....

There was so much I wanted to ask Pastor Joseph Roberson after the service - about his campaign, his endorsing candidates in a church service, and public schools in general. But he declined to be interviewed, explaining he doesn't do that on Sundays. The Pastor might bring in others to campaign for him, but he won't do it himself.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We left a card with Pastor Roberson - so if he calls us during the week, we'll ask those questions and post his responses.)

LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK:The "Goose" grabbed the gold Sunday, as Rutief Goosen won his second U.S. Open golf title in four years. Here's how we covered his first triumph in LaughLine during 2001:

18 JUN 01: The U.S. Open wound up tied, so an 18-hole playoff is planned today between Mark Brooks and Rutief Goosen. We'd never heard of Goosen - and thought it was a dish served at a French restaurant.

(SpellChuckle of the day: Our computer "SpellCheck" says Rutief Goosen's first name is incorrect - and should be "writeoff" instead! If he misses more of those nine-foot putts today, we'll assume the computer is correct.)

19 JUN 01: An unknown South African won the U.S. Open golf title Monday. Rutief Goosen beat Mark Brooks in an 18-hole playoff. Then Goosen went to the Tulsa airport, where dozens of people asked if he got Tiger Woods's autograph while he was in town.

Rutief Goosen missed two short putts on the 18^th green Sunday to fall into a playoff. Then Monday, he led by five shots after 16 holes - yet only won by two! If the payoff had gone a few more holes, the headline would have been: "GOOSEN LAYS AN EGG."

Rutief Goosen is a mystery to many because he plays on the European Tour, and was only 35^th in money-winning there. Apparently his homeland of South Africa doesn't have that many golf courses. In that country, "shooting under par" means the bullets didn't hit anybody.

By winning the U.S. Open, Rutief Goosen receives 900,000 dollars - and he has a "five-year exemption" from qualifying for PGA Tour tournaments. By comparison, Tiger Woods has so many wins that tournaments have to qualify to get him to show up.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2001-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.