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14 JUN 04: WHAT'D I SAY?
"Pastor Sumbry?!" That's what it sounded like the woman asked me, as I returned to my car outside a Weems Road store over the weekend. But to be honest, I wasn't expecting her to say anything. I figured she'd be too embarrassed by her Sponge-Bob Square-Pants skirt to talk to anyone.
So stunned was I by the sight of an apparent 30-something woman wearing a Sponge-Bob Square-Pants skirt that I didn't catch exactly what she said. My mind was trying to figure out what child would give her that as a Mother's Day gift.
It finally occurred to me that the woman WAS talking to me, so I asked her to repeat herself. "Pastor Something?!" it sounded like the second time. Do you merely have to wear a tie on weekends now, for people to think you're a minister?
Several times during my years in Georgia, people have presumed I'm a minister. In fact, I missed a chance to speak at a funeral in Cusseta a few years ago - because someone saw me walking in with a Bible, and asked if I was a Pastor.
But I doubted anyone would mistake me for a Pastor outside a store, so I asked the woman to ask her question a third time. This time it finally sank in: "Pass through some rain?" At least Sponge-Bob asks questions in complete sentences in his theme song....
Yes, I told the woman. I had driven through a little rain a few minutes before, on Veterans Parkway. It certainly as much as downtown Columbus received Sunday afternoon. It rained SO HARD Bobby Peters may have to re-stamp those signs with his campaign committee's address.
It turned out that's all the woman wanted to know - but I was left a bit troubled. Am I having hearing problems, as I approach age 46? I haven't practiced faking it, as the late President Reagan used to do with Sam Donaldson's questions.
(Is it a sign of hearing trouble when I need the "did you" words that woman left out, to get my ears tuned to someone? Or did I simply score too high in English and debate classes?)
As it happened, I chatted with an older man at the laundromat Friday -- and he DID have difficulty hearing me. I've learned it's better to speak slowly to hearing-impaired people than to speak loudly. Save the loud words for vision-impaired police officers and sports officials.
Here are some other electrifying highlights from a stormy Sunday:
+ The Dolly Madison bread store on Victory Drive lowered its gasoline price below $1.80 a gallon. A driver in front of me was so stunned by this that he swerved over two lanes, to make a left turn to the pump.
+ The RaceTrac store on Victory Drive with discount soda was out of "monster subs." Well, all those monster truck drivers at the Civic Center had to eat....
+ NBC-38 dropped the Sunday evening edition of "Martha Stewart Living," replacing it with an infomercial. Maybe if she had changed her show to "Martha Stewart's Most Wanted" before her trial started....
+ Instant Message to Action Buildings: Isn't your name a bit of a contradiction? If the building has "action" to it, doesn't that mean it's unsteady and might fall down?
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