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11 JUN 04: GOODBYE, ALREADY?

The monster truck "Grave Digger" was displayed Thursday evening at a Piggly Wiggly supermarket in Phenix City. I know a few people who might wish that truck skip the "Summer Heat" event at the Civic Center - and head for California, to help dig Ronald Reagan's grave.

I've heard a few friends comment this week that the "long goodbye" for the late President Reagan has taken too long. They should just go ahead and bury him, these people say. But maybe they're missing a deep lesson here. Perhaps it's all a metaphor for how slowly change occurs in U.S. government.

Sometimes it can take awhile to arrange a funeral for a loved one. My mother died on a Saturday in December 1983, and the memorial service didn't occur until the following Friday. Even funeral homes tend to take three-day Xmas holidays.

My next-door neighbor was a bit confused Thursday about all the ceremonies for Ronald Reagan. I explained to her Wednesday's service inside the U.S. Capitol was a "state funeral." Today's service at Washington's National Cathedral is a "public funeral." And Republicans hope the final celebration occurs November 2 - on Election Day.

Alabama Governor Bob Riley is attending today's Ronald Reagan memorial service in Washington. But first, he stopped Thursday at the First White House of the Confederacy, where the last widow of a Civil War soldier is lying in state. Since she died in Alabama, does that mean the South really won?

What's struck me as even stranger this week is how a few people have commented on the outfits worn by Ronald Reagan's family -- especially daughter Patti Davis. Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't tend to go to funerals for a fashion show.

Should Columbus do something to honor President Reagan? I can't think of anything in the area named after him. In fact, Carmike Cinemas hasn't even announced a showing of "Bedtime for Bonzo."

I did a President's Day story a few years ago about how many items in Columbus are named after Presidents - and in reality, there's hardly anything. Johnson Elementary School is NOT named after Andrew or Lyndon The only other possibility is a longshot - Mother Mary School being named for Abraham Lincoln's relatives.

You may have heard talk about honoring Ronald Reagan by putting his face on money. People in Warm Springs will be pleased to learn Republicans are NOT proposing to put him on the dime instead of Franklin Roosevelt anymore. Now they're proposing the ten or 20-dollar bills - which is strange, because Mr. Reagan was against inflation.

SPAM-A-RAMA: It didn't take long for the e-mail spam to start, offering Ronald Reagan items. The first one at midweek was a mysterious poll, where I voted on whether to put the former President on money. I didn't dare vote - because I'm tired of all the pop-up offers for cut-rate Viagra.

Then Thursday's e-mail brought an offer to buy a commemorative coin, with the proceeds benefitting the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. Isn't there a more appropriate way to honor this former President and actor? Here's a hint: DVD can be shorthand for "Death Valley Days."

BLOG UPDATE: Columbus civil rights groups marked six months since the death of Kenneth Walker Thursday - by changing the subject and holding a news conference about another case. Decisions like this are why so many civil rights leaders are tempted to enter politics.

The NAACP and National Action Network plan a demonstration next weekend in Harris County, over how officials have handled the case of Christopher Thompkins. He disappeared from a work site two years ago, and remains missing. We hope all is well, and David Copperfield brings him back soon.

While civil rights groups kept quiet about the Kenneth Walker case, an attorney for the Walker family did not. Bill Campbell said the "dashboard-cam" videotape from last December showed Walker "pinned against a wall" by officers before he was shot. So apparently the wall fell down, to leave him prone on the ground?!

Dougherty County District Attorney Ken Hodges reportedly plans a decision by August, on whether to prosecute anyone in the Kenneth Walker killing. Hodges has other things to worry about before August. For instance, he has an opponent in the Democratic primary. [True!]

Now other assorted news buttons, to sew up the week:

+ Music legend and Albany native Ray Charles died in Los Angeles. Georgia Public Television used to play his song "Georgia on My Mind" every night at sign-off. Now sadly, GPB never signs off - and Charles has.

+ Dish Network took the two big Columbus TV stations off its satellite service in Albany, and replaced them with Atlanta channels. Now viewers in southwest Georgia can join in Atlanta's favorite 6:00 p.m. guessing game - what color will Monica Kauffman's hair be tonight?

+ WRBL's "Top Story" at 6:00 p.m. was about a woman who saw a baseball crash through her windshield, as she drove down Fourth Street past a Columbus Catfish game. She said the Catfish should pay for the damage -- but why stop there? The city hasn't put up "watch out for falling balls" warning signs.

+ The Catfish swept a doubleheader with Rome - and pitcher Julio Pimental set a Columbus baseball record in game one by striking out 16 batters. That's the way to lower team insurance costs....

+ Northside High School Principal Dr. Renee Mallory put on military garb, and rapelled with local Junior ROTC members. Is this really a good thing - teaching principals new ways to jump all over the students?

+ Oxbow Meadows wrapped up a "Harry Potter" theme summer camp, by having students play a game of quidditch. Oh well - most right-wing pastors probably boycott this center already, for having "Second Sunday" nature programs.

+ The Group of Eight summit ended on Georgia's Sea Island. If you didn't join in the protests in nearby Brunswick or Savannah, bonk yourself on the head and say: "Wow! I could have had a G-8!"

+ Instant Message to the KFC on Macon Road About that "Dale Jr. bucket" you're offering on the sign - is that really authentic? I mean, does the side of the bucket have about 25 logos of different NASCAR sponsors?

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© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.