^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

31 JAN 04: BOWL-COTT!

True confession: I hardly ever get invited to Super Bowl parties. I've been invited to someone's house a couple of times, but I was scheduled to work. And the one time I actually went to a party in 1981, I annoyed people by practicing my play-by-play skills during the game.

Given my history, it's tempting to go to Callaway Gardens this weekend. It's promoting a Super Bowl party starting at 2:00 p.m. Sunday, complete with giveaways and free food at halftime. Halftime?!?! Isn't part of the purpose for this party to have food from pre-game to post-game?

It would be a bit of a drive for me to go to Callaway Gardens simply to watch a football game on TV. So this year, I'm doing something different - I'm boycotting the Super Bowl. Yes, I said boycotting. We know how well that works for the Columbus Rainbow/PUSH Coalition....

So why should you boycott Sunday's Super Bowl? Glad you asked that question....

1. MTV is producing the Super Bowl half-time show. Do you really want to risk your family seeing another Britney Spears-Madonna style kiss?

2. The Super Bowl promotes militarism. I didn't realize this until I discovered a column online this past week, written by a British reporter. You may have thought those Air Force flyovers were patriotic -- but in North Korea, they're called government propaganda.

3. We all have more important things to do. Start on your income taxes, and you'll get your refund faster.

4. The emphasis on commercials. You say you only watch the Super Bowl for the ads? You can see full-length infomercials on Columbus TV stations at least four-and-a-half hours per day, from Monday through Friday -- and the weekend total is probably higher.

5. Related to that: WRBL is showing the game - which means important on-screen statistics will be missed at least once for the "Columbus Transmissions" time and temperature.

6. New England has a linebacker named Teddy Bruschi, pronounced BREW'-skee. How much drunk driving will this name encourage?

7. This year's game is in February - on purpose, not due to a postponement after a terror attack. Playing important outdoor football games this close to President's Day simply is wrong.

8. The alternative "Bud Bowl" practically has disappeared. It once had dueling Budweiser beer bottles and million-dollar giveaways - but this year it's down to a coupon booklet at Publix.

9. We can do more loving, outreaching public service projects instead. For instance, how about a card shower encouraging Muscogee County Deputy David Glisson to get well enough for that G.B.I. interview?

10. BIG PREDICTION: I'll tell you now, Carolina will win. N.F.C. teams have won the last four Super Bowls played in Presidential election years -- and if you count "old N.F.L." teams like the Steelers, they're 8-1 overall. Oh, if only Michael Vick had stayed healthy....

BLOG UPDATE: WRBL's Weather Team conceded Friday evening, in that showdown over the weekend forecast. It lowered the predicted high temperatures down AGAIN, to the high 40's the other guys expected for days. I never knew Triple Doppler Radar had the ability to read highs as well as rain.

(But it turns out today's high was 56 degrees F. So which station would you rather watch -- the one that's right but backs down, or the one that's wrong all along?)

Now while you plan or execute your weekend strategies, let's send some Instant Messages to East Alabama:

+ To Smiths Station High School: I can understand why you bought billboard space to salute your champion junior varsity cheerleaders. But why are two of them located on U.S. 431 in south Phenix City? Are you trying to rub it in to Russell County High?

+ To the LETA trolley driver in Opelika: Just because your trolley is cute does NOT mean you can block three or four parking spaces at Sonic by parking long-ways. Pick a spot, please!

+ To Café 123 in Opelika: So you have "country cooking" at lunch and "fine dining" for dinner. Does that mean the chicken-fried steak gets a fancy sauce poured on it?

AHEAD THIS COMING WEEK: We learn whether anyone knocked off a Columbus champion....

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.