The Blog of Columbus, Georgia : my funny motto

31 JAN 07: THE POTPOURRI POT

Tuesday was one of those days - no, I mean one of THOSE days. You're in trouble before you even get out of bed in the morning. Then it seems like you climb out of bed, and find yourself in the middle of an Ultimate Fighting Championship battle royal for the rest of the day....

Because Tuesday was one of THOSE days, we were not really able to develop a main topic in depth. So instead, we'll offer little bits about several Tuesday things:

+ An accountant did an audit for the city, and suggested to Columbus Council it set up an anonymous tip line to report fraud. I'm not sure this is really necessary - because sometimes WRCG's "Talkline" works the same way.

The accountant's audit apparently found questionable financial practices at the Columbus Civic Center. WRBL's web site reports a renter received some kind of deep discount last September, without the City Manager approving it. Hmmmm - how many burly WWE wrestlers showed up at the Civic Center office with Vince McMahon?

+ Columbus Council also reviewed several mid-year budget requests. The Police Department needs several new squad cars. The Sheriff's Department would like more money. And the natural gas bills for recreation centers suddenly jumped this week.

+ Meanwhile, WRCG "Talkline" host Robbie Watson is openly wondering on the air why Mayor Jim Wetherington hasn't started the promised reforms and housecleaning at the Government Center. Now now, Robbie - he's only been on the job four weeks. Alabama's Governor has to wait all the way to March, before the legislature convenes this year.

+ There might have been an illegal member on Columbus Council this month, had the election turned out differently. Candidate Geraldine Hollins might have been under investigation, because she's accused of owing back property taxes. The better for doing undercover checks of the city finance department, you know....

Muscogee County Tax Commissioner Lula Huff told WXTX "News at Ten" Geraldine Hollins owes about $1,000 in property taxes. Hollins denies she owes anything -- and she might be wondering why Nathan Suber is spending his free time going after her.

Does this property tax bill matter? Yes, it actually does - because Columbus Council candidates are supposed to promise they don't owe any back city taxes. If Geraldine Hollins knew she owed back taxes and lied, she could be prosecuted. You might be able to lie to the voters, but you really shouldn't to the Election Board.

+ Just in time for the Super Bowl, an Alabama House committee proposes creating a class of "super-drunks." If your blood alcohol level is .15 or higher, the penalties would be tougher. But I fear this title would send a wrong message -- and more young adults would try flying off rooftops.

+ The OneGeorgia Authority awarded its development grants for this year. One of them goes to Plains, to renovate the town's aging sewer and water system. One of my co-workers thought Plains was getting the money to help restore Jimmy Carter's reputation, in the wake of that new book.

+ What's this strange story I'm hearing about why Phil Carter was dropped from Bill Heard Chevrolet commercials? The rumor going around is that Carter was fired for using the phrase "out the wazoo" too much. Maybe the managers think "out the kudzu" sounds more Southern.

+ A non-profit group began a four-week series of beginning dance lessons downtown, focusing on the "Argentine Tango." Personally, I consider the salsa less expensive - both the dance and the dipping sauce.

+ So the schedule is out for the 2007 Tour de Georgia bike race - and while one day will begin in Thomaston, Columbus is left out again. Those horror stories about Columbus Park Crossing traffic are scaring all sorts of people away.

+ Reports from the Midwest suggest Auburn will open the football season next September against Kansas State. I'm a loyal Kansas grad - and I think there are at least two orange shirts in my dresser....

+ Instant Message to the person who sent e-mails about a supposed contractor at Fort Benning, then apologized after learning the information was false: Next time, learn a lesson from local banks. It's called "free checking."

This blog had more than 28,000 visits in 2006, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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-- posted by Richard at 2:12 AM

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

30 JAN 07: THEIR SECOND COMING

No, not THE "second coming" - THEIRS. Monday marked the second appearance of SOA Watch protesters in Columbus in three months. The turnout was much smaller than in mid-November - which is strange, considering more people are likely to see your signs on a Monday in the middle of downtown.

After a short march and rally on 12^th Street, 16 SOA Watch protesters went inside federal court for trial. They were convicted of illegally crossing onto Fort Benning during last November's demonstration. If they had shown up a couple of weeks later with Christmas trees, they would have been welcomed with open arms.

(A few of the SOA Watch protesters actually did some more demonstrating over the weekend, in a "Festival of Hope." You may have the picture in Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer of people demanding U.S. soldiers come home from Iraq. Some business owners along Victory Drive may join them in a few weeks.)

A federal judge sentenced many of the SOA Watch trespassers to 60 days in federal prison. But if I heard the news correctly, the guilty can report to prison anytime they please. This might actually increase the protest next November - with homeless people joining, to get some warm winter shelter.

One of the SOA Watch trespassers was a repeat offender, and was sentenced to six months in prison. Either this person is very committed to the cause, or he actually thinks the prison food is pretty good.

But one West Virginia woman actually left jail, when her court hearing ended. She had been locked up in the Muscogee County jail since the November protest, refusing to post bail. So she effectively already served her prison sentence - and now you wonder if she's been doing double duty, as an informant for the Prison and Jail Project.

One of the SOA Watch protesters sentenced to 60 days for trespassing was Josh Harris. He said outside court he could not believe he's facing federal prison time for "a peaceful and nonviolent protest." Then I guess Harris won't mind if someone peacefully and nonviolently steals his identity, or hacks his computer.

The SOA Watch group contends it actually can spread its message against Fort Benning's Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation while in prison. If you think about it, that's not so far-fetched. The protesters have all day to write letters of complaint to members of Congress.

If you're not familiar with that message, SOA Watch claims WHINSEC at Fort Benning trains mean, brutal Latin American leaders. Yet here's the strange thing - I don't think Venezuela's Hugo Chavez ever went there.

Of course, Fort Benning denies the old School of the Americas or the relatively new Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation train people to be cruel oppressive dictators. And besides, why would they need to do this? Any Army or Marine private can learn about this sort of treatment at boot camp.

I didn't think of this until Monday, but have you noticed SOA Watch makes two appearances in Columbus a year -- while "God Bless Fort Benning" only has the November event? Maybe next year, the pro-military group will organize a counter-event for the "Festival of Hope." Perhaps they can reserve Ruth Ann's restaurant for breakfast, so the protesters have to eat at big corporate Burger King.

BLOG UPDATE: Columbus Police announced an arrest Monday, in the "potbelly robber" case. Jason Smith is charged with holding up several convenience stores over the weekend. If Smith did it, he should have worked on that waistline by attempting to flee on foot.

Now let's check other news from one of the coldest days of the winter....

+ The Muscogee County School Board voted to pay $19,000 to the city of Columbus, to cover years of unpaid landfill fees. Superintendent John Phillips explained the school district never received a bill. And then he wonders why some parents don't seem to care about their children's grades....

+ Former Muscogee County School Superintendent Guy Sims resigned as President of the Columbus-area United Way. Sims says he plans to work on ways to fight poverty in Columbus. Apparently he's decided the first step is to join the poverty rolls, by giving up an income.

+ The Columbus Community News reported a home on Waterford Road recently was sold for $830,000. We mention this as a public service to local Girl Scouts, who are looking for the best streets to sell cookies door-to-door.

+ The 14^th Combat Support Hospital returned to Fort Benning, after a year of service in Afghanistan. In fact, the unit arrived on post earlier than scheduled - so someone must be listening to those "bring them home now" protest shouts.

+ The Georgia General Assembly marked "Israel Day." Why do I have this strange feeling we won't see an "Iran Day" for a long time to come?

+ Northside pulled a surprise, by winning the Muscogee County High School boys' swim meet. Of course, it might have been an even bigger surprise if Jordan and Kendrick High had shown up with teams....

+ Instant Message to Locos Grill and Pub: Thanks for the late dinner Monday night. And I'm sorry I left you at halftime of the Kansas-Nebraska game. But my beloved Jayhawks were grinding the Cornhuskers 43-16 at the time -- and none of your other TV sets showed the Miss America pageant.

COMING SOON: Can you listen in, on a closed-door meeting?....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Monday, January 29, 2007

29 JAN 07: HURTS-A-GOVERNOR

We return today to the little town with the big controversies. Yes, we're heading back to Hurtsboro - the town in Russell County where everybody seems to know everybody else, and that may not always be a good thing....

When last we stopped in Hurtsboro [22 Jan], a local business accused Russell County Constable Robert Schweiger of trying to get his wife fired from the business because their marriage collapsed. Others even claimed Schweiger is trying to get the town government dissolved. That quickly brought a reply from the Constable:

"I say there Richard!"

It didn"t take you very long to discover the vicious attitude that the citizens of "Hurt"sboro adopt when you question their activities! I respect your good judgement in stepping out of center ring! I only hope that you can be reached with breaking news and worthwhile items on upcoming Mondays!

I knew that the "mare" had received that "park" grant - but there's still a little matter of matching funds that has to be hurdled. Columbus has plenty of problems with crime on their Riverwalk, I wonder who would feel safe in a park in "Hurt"sboro.

Last Friday was a nice day for a ride so I ventured over to Montgomery! Before I left - the halls were echoing with the same questions I've been asking here in town. The petition for help is being taken under advisement and we should get a reply in just a few days!

I apologize to you Sir Richard. I should have forewarned you about the treatment that Megan Bradley (WRBL) Lily Gordon (Ledger/Enquirer) and Mitch Sneed (Opelika News) received when they came here for a story! Just like the fisherman's worm it's a no win situation!

The man who lays down with dogs

Constable R.J. Schweiger

Well, hold on here - only one of the Hurtsboro residents I called really could be described as "vicious." Some were polite in their remarks to me. Others chose to say nothing, which is their choice. And thankfully, no one showed up at my door in the last week with a search warrant.

(I couldn't help noticing while the Constable called his critics "vicious," there's one thing he did NOT call them -- liars.)

If you're new to all this, Sandra Tarver is the Mayor of Hurtsboro - the title R.J. Schweiger is misspelling on purpose. They've clashed a time or two, both at City Hall and in court. Schweiger says it's a fight over access to public records -- but court records show they've also had a small claims court dispute. It shouldn't be so tough to pay the prevailing Office Depot rate for copies.

I don't recall hearing anything about Hurtsboro needing matching money, to accept a state grant for new park equipment. But if so, what a wonderful opportunity to bring the town together and raise the money! Simply bring in mediators from Phenix City, to decide whose name belongs at the top of the memorial plaque.

But I do know something about crime on the Columbus Riverwalk - and I'm sorry to disappoint R.J. Schweiger, but it doesn't happen all that often. I've jogged on the Riverwalk hundreds of times in nearly ten years, with a good number of those runs occurring after dark. Yet to my knowledge, no one's chased me with a knife or box-cutter so far.

Why should someone NOT feel safe in a Hurtsboro park? We're talking about a small town of less than 1,000 people here. And unlike Lumpkin, I don't even think Hurtsboro has a library where gangs can organize drug deals.

It's not clear to me what this "petition for help" is from Constable Schweiger. But people in Hurtsboro are telling me he files complaints with Alabama state agencies about any violation he thinks he sees. When the state transportation department is called about a business being too close to a road, that's pretty picky....

But it's also apparently par for the course, when it comes to Hurtsboro's Constable. One business owner called your blog in the last week, openly suspecting R.J. Schweiger is trying to drive him out of business. Either that, or Schweiger wants to make sure all local attorneys have a regular income.

The latest complaint from Constable Schweiger reportedly was filed with ADEM - Alabama's Department of Environmental Management. He apparently suspects an illegal open dump is being kept in one part of Hurtsboro. Based on the perspective Schweiger has offered to me, it's a wonder he doesn't want the entire town declared an open dump.

Well, check that - in a way, Constable Schweiger IS arguing that. He sent me a ten-point list of problems in Hurtsboro, which was submitted to the Russell County District Attorney last July. Put together, Schweiger calls them "a formula for apocalypse!" Yet almost seven months later, the Alabama National Guard seems to be heading for Iraq instead.

We've also heard again since last Monday from someone in Hurtsboro who dared to take on R.J. Schweiger's e-mail drive of recent weeks:

....You seem to have your finger on the pulse of this town, and you have given a correct diagnosis.....there are a lot of grumpy old men, and they are not very amusing. In fact they are quite nasty.....and vendictive. Maybe they could be productive if they put that much energy into doing something to help the town like the recent grant.

Have you ever seen Jim Carey do Fire Marshall Bill? This was a parady that he did on Saturday Night Live. Hurtsboro has Constable Bob....but he is not funny at all.

Hurtsboro has a functioning Volunteer Fire Department that is fully funded by grants J.H. Bazemore is the Chief and he is doing a great job getting grant money so that the department can buy new trucks and keep up it's building. There are a lot of positive things that you can write about in Hurtsboro and I think you should dedicate at least one positive story about Hurtsboro in your Monday blog. Why not start with our Fire Department. We respond to a lot of calls each month from house fires to medical calls and it never fails that someone is available to respond no matter what time of day or night it is.

Thanks,

A "concerned" citizen

Let's do a fact-check first: Fire Marshal Bill actually was a character on the old Fox series "In Living Color." Imagine if Hurtsboro had a working Fire Marshal - would the Constable be allowed to sleep on his dogs at night?

There are some people in Hurtsboro who want me to take this feud involving Constable R.J. Schweiger to another level. They want me to call his ex-wife, who lives well out-of-state -- and they have even supplied me with her phone number. If I ever drive to Hurtsboro, I'm not playing poker with anybody in town....

But really now -- why should I turn this town squabble into a family feud, involving Constable Schweiger and his ex-wife? Shouldn't they settle these disputes in a proper, 21^st-century way? I mean, WXTX shows "Divorce Court" five mornings a week.

Since this concerned Hurtsboro citizen nominated the Fire Department, we'll let that endorsement stand. But I'd point out there are plenty of other volunteer fire departments doing important service, across the Columbus area. If some of them respond to a fire and fail to be mentioned by name on the news, they'll quickly point that out....

We'll keep these "Hurtsboro Mondays" going as conditions warrant. And to be honest, there isn't much else to talk about on this Monday....

+ Columbus Police reported a Spectrum store on Miller Road was robbed. The suspect is described as a man in his forties, with a "potbelly." If you commit armed robbery, you deserve to be described this way - since I haven't heard "potbelly" applied to anything other than pigs in years.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer included an insert ad announcing electronics recycling at Wal-Mart next Saturday. But the address listed in the ad was the abandoned store on Airport Thruway. So let's see - you pile up dangerous metals at this old store, then sell it to the highest bidder?!

(We called the Wal-Mart at Columbus Park Crossing about this ad. The Sunday staff didn't know where the recycling point actually will be -- but I'm guessing you can rule out a hush-hush meeting at the city landfill.)

+ Two local religious radio broadcasts amazingly focused on the same Bible passage, from Genesis 18. Hal Brady at St. Luke United Methodist Church in Columbus declared Sarah laughed from disbelief and joy. The Pastor of New Hope Revival Center in Smiths Station declared Sarah a deep-down liar "from her bowels." It's now up to my own Pastor to break this tie....

+ Georgia leapt past Louisiana State in the men's basketball standings, by winning 57-54. Levi Stukes scored the winning three-point basket in the final second - leading me to wonder if Coach Dennis Felton has his own definition of a "Levi's Call."

+ Instant Message to the Columbus Planning Department: I had to wait for a second green light the other afternoon at Fourth and Veterans Parkway. This is simply ridiculous and unacceptable. When do you plan to widen THAT intersection -- this time to about eight lanes?

Today's main topic was based on blog readers' tips. To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3715 (- 58, 1.5%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 2:04 AM

Sunday, January 28, 2007

28 JAN 07: FUTURE SCHLOCK

I have seen the future - and it is filled with spam. In fact, you can expect to see spam for at least the next 31 years. But I am NOT suggesting you try to keep a can of Spam luncheon meat stored in your pantry that long....

SPAM-A-RAMA: I discovered the future of e-mail spam the other day, right at my own computer. You may have noticed our "Burkard Bulk Mail Index," which counts the number of spam messages in my InBox. The B.B.M.I. number has dropped by several thousand in recent months -- leading me to wonder if the senders were investing in TV infomercials instead.

I normally never look at the Bulk Mail part of the InBox, but a hunt for one particular message made me go there. That's when I was stunned to discover I had e-mails dated "January 2038." And none of them seemed to be from Governor Sonny Perdue, promoting long-term care again.

What stunned me even more was how "future spam" overwhelmed the Bulk Mail box. I had to plow through more than 1,000 items from the next 31 years, to reach messages from this month. If only some of them had titles naming the winners of future Super Bowls or Presidential elections....

Based on the top page of the Bulk Mail box, "replica watches" will be popular items in 2038. It's enough to make me hold onto my current ones until about 2025, then sell them as collectibles on eBay.

(Please note these are "replica" versions of Rolex and similar watches. Maybe the spammers are predicting by 2038, the high-end companies will be bought out by Wal-Mart.)

So why would e-mails from 2038 be reaching me in 2007? Have the online stores somehow figured out when my current watch batteries will die?

I have my own theory about these e-mails dated 2038. Spam messages in the B.B.M.I. are automatically purged, if they're more than 30 days old. So the spammers somehow are putting dates on them far in the future, to get around the 30-day time limit. It's sort of like the landfill tipping fee mess in reverse....

Another advantage of putting the year 2038 on your e-mail is that it goes to the top of the list. It shows up on the first page of messages, even above the current ones -- which makes it a much more likely candidate for deletion.

Yet I intentionally do NOT delete anything in the Bulk Mail box anymore. It's more interesting for me to see how many spam messages pile up, and see if the total reflects some sort of hidden statement. The B.B.M.I. is starting to climb back, after dropping about 75 percent in the fall -- so maybe spammers were distracted by football season.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back on the nicer side of the InBox, this news item reached us before the Friday afternoon news mentioned it:

Wal-Mart For Lease?

I drove by the old Wal-Mart on Airport Thruway this morning and saw a sign that said "BUILDING FOR LEASE - Call 479-204-0271" and was completely turned around. After contacting Travis at Wal-Mart Realty it looks like their marketing department or who-ever is in charge of signage mistakenly put up a BUILDING FOR LEASE SIGN on the road and the building.

Attached is the reply from Travis.

Aaron....

We are tearing it down. The sign shouldn't have been put up, and is being removed today or tomorrow. Thanks for the inquiry.

Travis L. Rodgers

Real Estate Manager

The now-empty Wal-Mart and Sam's Club on Airport Thruway are turn into a new Wal-Mart SuperCenter over the next few months. Given what happened to the old Circuit City down the street, it's a wonder the realty office wasn't overwhelmed with offers from church pastors.

Wal-Mart Realty told WRBL they didn't know who put up the "building for lease" sign on Airport Thruway. Maybe it was a disgruntled employee at Target.

Our Instant Message from Friday also brought a comment - but not from the place where we sent it:

Last summer a friend had her debit card kept by the cashier at Fire House..By 10AM the next morning more than $2000 had been charged on it...The criminal was caught on video at sub store and other young friends were caught on video using the card at Wal Mart in Phenix City...So far..no arrest....Fire House did "fire"her

Hmmm -- so you're saying the Firehouse sandwiches aren't the only things which are "fully loaded"?!

Here are other things to chew on, from the weekend news:

+ Fort Benning's Third Brigade engaged in training drills in California. WRBL's Chris Sweigart wrote on his "HammerSlogger" blog that reporters from France are watching the training as well. So where do they post notes for the Iraqi insurgents to study?

+ Local JROTC units held a combined ball at the Trade Center. They should be thankful no khaki green buses were parked outside, to take them to work at Fort Benning.

+ The Columbus NAACP spent a second day renovating the Spencer House on Veterans Parkway downtown. President Bill Madison said the historic home should be turned into a museum about local African-American education. If it gets as few visitors as the Ma Rainey Museum has a block away, they might be able to share a single staff.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths pounded Pee Dee 6-3 on "NASCAR Night," featuring a guest appearance at the Civic Center by Richard Petty. I assume any players who wound up in fights were given Goody's headache powders in the penalty box.

+ Instant Message to One Way Deliverance Ministry on Martin Luther King Boulevard: About your sign outside that says "JESUS IS LO" - uhhhh, does that mean God the Father is higher?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.98 a gallon at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive.... mushroom swiss burgers for 99 cents at Checkers on Buena Vista Drive.... and no N.F.L. games on TV, so football widows can reclaim their husbands....

COMING MONDAY: Not just Monday.... it's a Hurtsboro Monday!....

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If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 1:54 AM

Friday, January 26, 2007

for 27 JAN 07: TELLING IT LIKE IT IS

When I was young, my first successful efforts at talent shows involved impersonations. Believe it or not, I imitated the strange singer Tiny Tim -- wearing a wig, carrying a ukelele and singing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips." In grade school. And even more amazing in 2007 - no one came after me with slurs about my sexuality.

Then in junior high school, I became a big fan of ABC sportscaster Howard Cosell. His voice was easy for me to imitate. And I knew enough big words that I could baffle even grownups from time to time with what I said.

How big was my support of Howard Cosell? When a Kansas City public television station held its annual fund-raising auction, one item on the block was a Cosell-autographed pair... of underwear. I was actually the second-highest bidder, but the top bidder backed out -- so I claimed a truly unusual collectible, years before people put pictures of Jesus on toast.

Howard Cosell died several years ago, so my pair of autographed undies continues to increase in value. But I can still imitate him fairly.... well, I'll let you decide if it's fairly well or not. Cosell is this week's voice, in our Saturday series on how sportscasters might broadcast the return of Jesus Christ. As even Cosell would point out -- obviously, this one is much more hypothetical than usual.

COMING SUNDAY: Wal-Mart admits to a big mistake....

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If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 10:10 PM

Thursday, January 25, 2007

for 26 JAN 07: WAL- TO WALL?

"Congested Park Crossing" is how one East Alabama blogger is describing the shopping area around Whittlesey Boulevard these days. Reports in the newspaper and on TV are adding to that reputation. It's almost tempting to adapt the Yogi Berra line, and suggest people stop shopping there anymore until it's less crowded.

But some of us are undaunted by all these reports. I went to the Columbus Park Crossing area Thursday - a morning which focused on food, and featured my first trip to the new Wal-Mart SuperCenter. You may be amazed to learn I made it home by 12:15 p.m. And none of the frozen foods melted badly at all.

What's that you're saying - I went to Whittlesey at the wrong time? You say I should go in the late afternoon, when there are more cars? No, I actually went at the RIGHT time. Maybe it's time you changed your schedule habits - or convince the boss to let you work later every evening, to miss the crowds.

My original plan was to visit the Wal-Mart SuperCenter Friday afternoon, on my usual grocery day. But I moved it up, because another invitation for a free breakfast came in the mail from Sam's Club. It was the second free meal in nine days - putting my church congregation to shame, for only having potluck dinners once a month.

The Sam's Club "Business Event" occurred from 7:00 to 10:00 a.m. So not wanting to appear too greedy, I arrived around 8:45 a.m. - and followed hardly any cars down Whittlesey Boulevard and into the parking lot. There wasn't even an SUV driver around, showing off his horsepower by racing around me.

(By the way, I noticed a METRA bus stop on Whittlesey Boulevard at the side of Sam's Club. So you don't have to add to a crowd of cars to shop there. In fact, this is one "business club" a METRA rider actually might find affordable.)

The Sam's Club parking lot seemed much emptier from a week before - and the store certainly was, in terms of customers. The prices didn't appear to have changed in nine days. So maybe I wasn't the only one who showed up last week for the free samples of cheesecake.

There were some discoveries at Sam's Club which I didn't notice the first time around:

+ Bill Heard Chevrolet sells cars at a ten-percent discount. This apparently gives the company the right to put large four-by-fours by the door, despite a clear "no parking" sign.

+ A couple of tables had displays of "water shorts." Some of us can remember when these things were called swim trunks.

+ The spice aisle has a "Canadian Steak Seasoning." I've never heard of a Canadian steak, and the ingredient list didn't mention maple at all. So is it made with ground-up hockey pucks?

I decided to buy something at Sam's Club this time, so I wouldn't be a complete moocher. That's when I realized something I hadn't noticed last week: the cashiers don't put what you buy in bags. There were empty boxes piled up around the checkout lanes -- making Family Dollar stores look upscale by comparison.

The free continental breakfast at Sam's Club also was "downsized" a bit from the week before. There were honey buns and cinnamon rolls, but no muffins. Maybe the early crowd read this blog about the chocolate chip muffins [18 Jan] and beat me to them.

An extra honey bun "for the road" was put in my used chocolate bar box with a giant bag of tortilla chips, and a small promotional Sam's Club "goodie bag." I received one of these last week as well, so let's compare....

+ Last week: Three pens (one a permanent marker), a "purple glue stick," a sheet protector, a mid-sized note pad, two sheets of matte photo paper, a travel-sized package of Kleenex - and a Rubbermaid spatula. I guess they want me to write down my recipes, stick the recipes in the sheet protector, then take pictures of the cakes I bake.

(Why does anyone need a PURPLE glue stick, anyway? If you can see the color of the glue after doing the work, isn't that a sign of trouble?)

+ This week: Two pens (one a permanent marker), a regular-colored glue stick, a CD-Rom for making labels, a refrigerator magnet promoting canned foods, a sample of disinfecting wipes - and a "Commercial Cleaning Sample Kit." Now I have some heavy duty degreaser. All I need next is a box of fried chicken.

Next stop: no, NOT the Wal-Mart SuperCenter next door. A couple of other tasks awaited me - and after a free breakfast, it was only fitting that I go to Beacon University to study someone's questions about an article I wrote on gluttony.

By following the arrows in the Sam's Club parking lot, I was able to get out on Whittlesey Boulevard fairly easily. There's only one main entrance with a traffic light to the "Wal-Mart complex." That's been good enough on U.S. 280 in Phenix City for nine years - so Columbus shoppers should realize it only SEEMS as big as a mall.

After an hour in the books at the Beacon University library and another errand on Weems Road, it was finally time to shop at the new Wal-Mart. The traffic reaching the store still wasn't that bad. In fact, the clogs came from confused drivers ignoring the arrows in the parking lot and going the wrong direction.

The North Columbus Wal-Mart is laid out similar to the Phenix City SuperCenter. But while Phenix City has a Blimpie restaurant tucked in the back, North Columbus has a McDonald's right up front by a main door. So if you shop for groceries on an empty stomach and buy more than you planned, you only have yourself to blame.

One advantage of the North Columbus Wal-Mart is that more traditional "grocery store" items such as detergent and candy are on the food side. They're in the center area in Phenix City. But as a result, there are more food aisles in North Columbus -- and they seem to be narrower, to make drivers complaining about Whittlesey Boulevard traffic feel right at home.

(A convoy of three shopping carts passed me in one narrow aisle - and I told the man pushing the third cart it's good to have drafting partners, like at the NASCAR races.)

Another disadvantage of the new Wal-Mart is that the aisle signs above the food section are parallel to the aisles. In most grocery stores, they're perpendicular. So if you get distracted by a whining two-year-old in a cart, you might miss what you're after.

But while the new Wal-Mart SuperCenter has thousands of items, I met one customer who was frustrated. "You know how an item is advertised, and then you go to the store and they don't have it?" a woman told me after surveying a wall of crackers. Oh yes, I know - and Rachael Ray should call the managers about those missing flavors of Wheat Thins.

The Wal-Mart "Food Center" had customers on a Thursday morning, but wasn't really crowded. The wait to check out wasn't very long at all. It confirmed a "grand opening" lesson I learned long ago in another city - good things come to those who wait a day or three.

But the new Wal-Mart may be complicated for drivers the first few times, in terms of exiting. A couple of stop signs around the Sam's Club gas station could back people up, as everyone tries to figure out whose turn it is. Well, the courteous drivers will try to figure it out - while regular users of J.R. Allen Parkway may ignore the stop signs and plow right on.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Meanwhile, back at the Phenix City Water Works....

The little birdie has mentioned that the money deal is more close to 41 million instead of the 22 million that was realeased, someone should read the fine print on the deal

The writer didn't say who this "little birdie" is. Is that what people call the East Alabama Journal now?

I'm not sure if this e-mailer supports the Phenix City-Russell County-Fort Mitchell water deal or not. If this information is true, Phenix City stands to make even more money from a merger than first reported - and that wall of condos along the river might wind up taller than the Government Center after all.

It finally was mild enough to jog by the river Thursday - and here's what else happened while we did:

+ The Georgia Department of Transportation held a public hearing on widening Interstate 185, from Saint Mary's Road to Fort Benning. This is needed because of BRAC - you know, the "troop surge" Columbus actually supports.

+ Third Infantry Division commander Rick Lynch warned the fight against terror will go on several more years. He claimed soldiers and their families are NOT complaining about the continued battle. It looks like Cindy Sheehan can't get a meeting with him, either.

+ Former Columbus TV newscaster Alicia Smith was named a morning news anchor in Detroit. If she thought she covered plenty of crime news here....

+ A national survey rated Hughston Orthopedic Hospital the best facility in the country for hip replacement surgery. It's enough to make you stand on your feet and shout, "Hip?! Hooray!"

+ The Northern Little League All-Stars were honored by the Georgia state legislature, for winning the World Series. WRBL reported the players autographed baseballs for each House and Senate member. Somehow I thought a career in government and "public service" worked the other way around.

(A newspaper headline about the Columbus Little League World Series win is on display at the state Capitol - next to part of a two-headed cow. I knew Northern's success last year was unbelievable, but this is a bit too much....)

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue told GPB's "Lawmakers" it will "take a lot of persuasion" to get him to sign Sen. Seth Harp's bill on Sunday alcohol sales. But Harp told WRBL Perdue has promised NOT to veto his bill. So is someone not telling the truth here? Or is Harp offering Perdue some land in Harris County?

+ Alabama Secretary of State Beth Chapman accused predecessor Nancy Worley of writing state checks one day after the inauguration last week. Worley says she was simply wrapping up state business, and calls Chapman "paranoid." And you thought it was strange for Jim Wetherington to be at the mayor's office in late December?!

+ Instant Message to Firehouse Subs at Cross Country Plaza: First of all, I could walk across the parking lot to Subway and get the same sandwich for $1.50 less. Secondly, your price board should tell me mushrooms cost 30 cents extra. And third, your "hook and ladder" sign needs a third definition - for what Boise State did in that bowl game.

COMING SOON: A new way to make this blog much funnier....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 4010 (+ 141, 3.6%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 10:23 PM

25 JAN 07: A SONNY FUTURE

Have you received any mail from Georgia's Governor lately? I did this week - and it was quite a surprise, because I didn't donate a penny to Sonny Perdue's reelection campaign.

I had no idea why Governor Perdue would send me a letter on official state stationery -- and at first I thought it was a form I'd need for my taxes. But a short letter from the governor was inside, saying he was introducing a new program called "Own Your Future." This was also a surprise, because it did NOT give Mr. Perdue's secrets to buying land.

The real point of "Own Your Future" is to encourage people older than 45 to plan for long-term care. So I guess this letter means from now on, no one will tell me I have my whole life in front of me.

The Governor's letter suggests Own Your Future is a combination state-federal project. But the logo of the Department of Health and Human Services is all over it. After all, if Georgia can't afford to pay for PeachCare, how can it afford all the retirees fleeing here from Florida?

In fact, the online information about Own Your Future is part of a federal web site. But the home page asks if I heard about the campaign through a letter from my Governor. This smells like a conspiracy to me - but then again, we still have a Republican President for at least two more years.

The letter from Governor Perdue explains long-term care in terms of needing help for "such routine tasks as bathing or dressing." I had trouble dressing way back in my high school years -- because my classmates made fun of my multi-colored sneakers a lot.

The Governor makes a good point when he writes many people fail to plan adequately for long-term care. A pamphlet with the letter warns long-term care expenses can be "very expensive." I never realized some nursing homes could be in cahoots with oil companies....

The Own Your Future letter urges me to write, call or go online to order a free long-term care planning kit. The kit includes an "audio CD" about preparing for the future - which has me wondering how visionary this campaign is. A good number of older people still haven't moved beyond cassette tapes.

The more I think about long-term care planning, the more guilty I become. I was offered a free burial plot years ago, and took a cemetery up on it. But that was in College Park, where I don't live anymore - and for all I know, future growth near the Atlanta Airport may have my plot under a hotel basement.

I also took advantage of a couple of offers for "accidental death insurance." They were free $1,000 policies -- and they were offered by Rich's Department Stores and SouthTrust Bank. I'm not even sure $1,000 would cover a trip down from Kansas City for my older brother to pick up my casket.

I bought a "Will Workshop" CD-Rom a couple of years ago and started filling in the boxes and lines. But then my old computer crashed and died. If I can outlive a hard drive, is this will kit really necessary?

It IS necessary, of course - but the Will Workshop made me stop and think at the section on disposing of personal possessions. You should I trust with certain valuable items? Who in my family would grasp the significance of my souvenir Columbus Riverdragons mini-basketball - which only needs one right signature to become an eBay treasure?

It's dangerous to put off updating your will, since no one really knows when (ahem) it will take effect. But my last version from the early 1990's gives money to a church congregation which I don't think exists anymore - and to a woman in California who would have to explain to her husband and two children why I would have "surprised" her like this when she was single.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now from someone older to someone younger....

Remember the young boy kidnapped from the bus stop in MO.?...I pass by a little one waiting alone,in the dark,at the edge of woods...MCSD says they can't correct bus stops..The lonely little kid told me the bus stops at the end of his driveway at a stop sign ,but the driver said he can't open the doors..He has to follow "orders" so, the little guy has to walk down a dark st with dogs barking at him,stand on a corner that backs up to woods and wait and wait in the dark...I wish every parent who has this problem would call RIchard Curry ,director of transportation ,at MCSD..He's in the book under MCSD..

I would wish something else for this boy - that a parent would be with him at the bus stop, or at least within eyesight. You'd think a working mom or dad's employer or supervisor would understand, and allow a few extra minutes in the morning for this. Just shorten their lunch hour to match what school children have.

(The idea of parents watching children at bus stops could require a bold move for some modern families. They actually would have to meet their neighbors, and try to work together with them.)

Oh, those streets with barking dogs! I used to walk with care around them when I was young - and my bus stop was one block from my house. I didn't know which one to root for one day, when several from around the neighborhood swarmed together for an after-school fight. But I fear some junior high school bullies quietly took notes on it.

Speaking of standing outside in the dark, let's review some Wednesday news headlines....

+ WRBL reported Uptown Columbus Inc. wants to end all outdoor music on Broadway at midnight. Any "whistling in the dark" would be left to business owners and investors.

+ Columbus Police announced the arrest of Ricky Carter on charges of breaking into 47 cars. You'd think someone with this sort of habit could find gainful employment - maybe inspecting trade-ins at a used car lot.

+ A Georgia Senate committee chair proposed putting Seth Harp's proposal on Sunday alcohol sales in a "summer study committee." There's nothing quite like studying alcohol during summertime - at the lake, in the backyard, next to a grill....

+ Georgia collared Kentucky in men's college basketball, winning 78-69 in overtime. But Kentucky still leads the all-time series 106 games to 22 - so maybe Bulldog Coach Dennis Felton can turn this win into a lifetime contract.

+ But Georgia Tech lost at Maryland 80-65. The Yellowjackets have lost 16 games in a row on the road - which is embarrassing, because not even the Atlanta Hawks do that anymore.

+ Instant Message to anyone selling satellite or cable TV sports packages: Sorry. Wednesday night I tuned in to Kentucky-Georgia, Georgia Southwestern-Columbus State, Vanderbilt-L.S.U., Tennessee-Mississippi, Florida-Mississippi State, Ohio State-Northwestern, Illinois-Chicago-Wisconsin-Green Bay, Missouri-Colorado, Pittsburgh-Cincinnati, Virginia-North Carolina State, DePaul-Georgetown AND hockey's All-Star Game. It's called AM radio.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas falls to $2.01 a gallon at Summit, 22^nd Avenue and Victory Drive.... Chips Ahoy cookies for one dollar a box at Walgreens.... FREE dirt, if the Civic Center staff will tell you where they put it after the monster trucks left town....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3869 (+ 172, 4.7%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:32 AM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

24 JAN 07: ICE WITHOUT WATER

Columbus Council made some big decisions on priorities Tuesday. A new ice rink is in. A new indoor swimming pool is on hold. And if there's any way to slow down the buildup at the city landfill to make extra money, so much the better....

Columbus Council voted unanimously to commit money to a new ice rink. It will be attached to the Civic Center, either on the east or west side. Some of us wouldn't mind if it was on the south side -- to put it above the Riverwalk, so melting ice can cool joggers like me during summer.

The extra ice rink in South Commons has been discussed for years. It will give the Cottonmouths a place to practice, when the Civic Center is booked for other events - although you'd think roller skates in the parking lot at 10:00 a.m. would work about as well.

Columbus Civic Center manager Dale Hester sees a pot of gold in the new ice rink. He believes money can be made from rentals for parties and other events. It might even work as an "overflow room" for Civic Center events with big crowds - so maybe the Jehovah's Witnesses can get their convention finished in one weekend.

Dale Hester says the Civic Center lost thousands of dollars in youth hockey rentals over the last couple of weeks, because the floor was covered with dirt for other events. Excuse me, but I don't buy this logic. In bigger cities, the arena crew could dig up the dirt on Sunday and replace it on Friday morning - and I don't think Columbus is that low on prison inmates.

(And besides, why wouldn't groups be interested in renting the Civic Center with dirt on the main floor? An off-season bicycle motocross festival might be a lot of fun.)

Along with the ice rink, Columbus Council committed to a "skate park" in South Commons. No one answered the important question on my mind about this. Will the Christopher Columbus statue be moved off the Riverwalk, so skateboarders can keep jumping off it?

Space for the skate park actually was cleared and graded a couple of years ago. It's along Fourth Street next to Golden Park - on land WRBL showed as the former home of the "navel museum." If more people had known belly buttons were displayed there, the crowds might have been bigger.

But Columbus Council decided to delay a commitment for a new swimming pool, until more meetings are held on the idea. That's what happens when the decision comes in January, and not July....

The Columbus Council delay was a bit surprising, because there's actually been an online campaign promoting a new indoor swimming pool. It's called "Columbus Citizens for a Natatorium." Please don't confuse this with one of those Sunday nature programs at Oxbow Meadows - when it becomes a GNAT-atorium.

The "cc4natatorium" web site posted an alert urging supporters to contact Councilors and the Mayor's offices before Tuesday's meeting. Columbus Council decided to get more public input first -- which seems to mean they don't consider the swimming pool idea all wet completely.

The pro-natatorium group is using a moneymaking argument as well. It says an indoor "aquatic center" could be rented by private swim clubs, rehabilitation centers and Special Olympics. And if it's put in the right place, Talbot County residents could drive in and fill buckets with water the next time their service breaks down.

The pro-natatorium web site notes the Columbus Hurricanes swim team has to use the downtown YMCA for practice in the winter, whenever it can be scheduled. It's the only large-sized indoor swimming pool in town. They simply don't make the baptismal pools at Baptist churches big enough.

The pro-natatorium web site takes the Muscogee County School Board to task, for ruling out an aquatic center next to the Columbus Public Library. It argues the district has gym and fields for other school sports. Well, not quite. The swimmers should try playing football at Carver High - and figure out where ten yards of the field disappeared.

The group in favor of the aquatic center plans to advance its cause with "I.O.U." bracelets, similar to the yellow ones for fighting cancer. But you wonder why the supporters don't go after private donations and gifts for a natatorium, instead of relying on the city. Wouldn't it only make sense for backers to "pool" their resources?

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of South Commons, we walked around Golden Park the other day. The section of the outfield wall which collapsed from a storm last August has been rebuilt [26 Oct 06]. Where there once was a hole, there's now solid brick - but we admittedly did NOT try any kick-boxing techniques to test it.

It appears the grass and warning track inside the outfield wall at Golden Park has been restored as well. The field seems all set for another of those parties celebrating the Northern All-Stars Little League team.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Two Tuesday tidbits brought comments from readers. We start in East Alabama:

Richard,

Funny you should mention the Lee County Detention Center being named the "Jay Jones Jail." The administration section of the new jail will be named the "Sheriff William S. Jones Center."

The center is named for Sheriff William "Buck" Jones. He was shot and killed in the line of duty June 29, 1932, while checking on a reported homicide in Opelika. As far as Jay knows, he is not related to the former sheriff.

Just thought I'd pass that tidbit along!

--Brock

Do you mean to tell me - no, I really shouldn't write this - that 2007 marks the 75^th anniversary of Buck shot?

Now for a reader who seems addicted to oil:

I have seen gas at a few places in alabama (Opelika and Smiths Sation) below the $2 mark this week and Georgia is above the $2 mark.

check this link on CNN - it is updated several times a day during the Stock market hours.

On that page look just below the Blue bar and click on OIL - this will take you to commodites.

Look what Unleaded gas is selling for Februray deliveries - gas prices are usually changed about 5 to 6 days after a change is noted on OIL Deliveries. Yeah I know, slow to change when it goes down and very fast when it goes up.

Now look at these places for Gas Prices in the Southeast.... it could be worse - look

The e-mail included links to lists of the lowest gas prices in several states - then to lists in California, New York and Hawaii, where prices are much higher than in Columbus. You almost wonder why those states aren't asking for help from the President of Venezuela.

The CNN link shows oil futures prices jumped Tuesday, to more than 55 dollars a barrel. The increase was blamed in part on the federal government deciding to expand its "Strategic Petroleum Reserve." You know where this fuel is going, of course -- to fuel rumors about an attack on Iran.

Sorry, Hurtsboro - we meant what we said about "Mondays only." Your e-mails will have to wait, while we check other news from a chilly Tuesday:

+ St. Luke School held a special evening called "Parent University." It seemed to attract a big crowd - so few moms and dads said "P-U" to this idea.

(Based on the school's web site, Parent University had seminars on a wide range of education-related topics. I guessed mothers and fathers might have to write an essay, to post in the classrooms.)

+ WRBL showed a groundbreaking ceremony in Valley, for the new "Fob James Drive Lifestyle Center." Some of us can remember when these things were called subdivisions....

+ Instant Message to President Bush: I confess -- I wasn't planning to watch your State of the Union speech Tuesday night. I had something much more important on the schedule. But for some reason, WSHE-AM didn't broadcast the first part of the Alabama-Auburn basketball game.

(WSHE joined the game in progress, about 30 minutes after it started. I wondered if Auburn Network President Mike Hubbard had arranged a delay in the tipoff, as a favor to his fellow Republican.)

+ As for the game: Auburn assaulted Alabama 81-57. Somebody's gotta ask it - why is a ranked team like the Crimson Tide playing so badly on the road? This makes three huge conference losses in a row, away from Tuscaloosa. If I didn't know better, I'd think Mike Shula drives the basketball team bus.

SCHEDULED THURSDAY: A letter from the Governor.... directly to me!....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3697 (+ 129, 3.6%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Monday, January 22, 2007

for 23 JAN 07: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED NOT FAR FROM THE FORUM

"Wawa?"

What? What? This question was asked of me as I walked into a supermarket on South Lumpkin Road Monday afternoon - and surprisingly, it did NOT come from a one-year-old baby.

I stopped the walk just outside the door, and turned toward a middle-aged man holding a metal cane. His voice was hesitant, so he had to repeat himself. "Wawa? Are you Barry Young [not the real name]? You used to do the lights?"

"Go back to the beginning," I said to the man to be sure I understood him. "Wawa?" This could have meant many things....

+ He could have been a beggar, asking me to give him some water. Don't supermarkets have drinking fountains in the back corner anymore? Or is that dangerous, without some anti-bacterial soap present?

+ He could have been asking for a ride -- but people in the Florida panhandle call the town of Wewahitchka "Wee-wa" for short.

+ The real longshot possibility: he thought I was a distant relative of Barbara Walters - or even Elmer Fudd.

"I thought you were Barry Young," the man explained. "I used to work with him years ago."

"And he did the lights?"

"Yeah." I had visions of this man hanging strings of lights on the Riverwalk in November.

"Where?" I asked the man with a cane.

"Over at The Forum." He pointed north - but he stumped me. I'd never heard of The Forum. At least not in Columbus. But I seriously doubt he meant the old hockey arena in Montreal.

"He did the lights at The Forum and said 'wa-wa' when he moved them," the man said shuffling his hands back and forth like he was at a control panel. "So we called him Wawa." At least he didn't say anything involving the word "crack."

At last I had an explanation - but by this point, the man with the cane realized I was NOT Barry Young. "I thought you might be him, after all these years. I'm not a crazy man." OK, I'll take his word for it. But with a nickname like that, maybe Barry moved out west to Walla Walla.

You probably don't care about the milk and sweet rolls I bought inside the supermarket - so we'll move on to other Monday highlights:

+ The late news noted the official Columbus temperature has not dropped below freezing in 43 days. I hope our readers in Malibu and Phoenix who saw snow are jealous.

+ The 598^th Maintenance Company held a deployment ceremony at Fort Benning. Soldiers leave next week, for what an Army statement calls "southwest Asia." Have things become so touchy that the government is afraid to call it Iraq?

+ The staff of Mario's Italian Restaurant on Broadway complained they've been unable to open some evenings, because the sidewalk part of the Streetscape project still isn't finished. I think the staff simply needs to be more creative. Pour some food coloring on the mud, decorate the orange barrels, then declare a "Pompeii volcano" night.

(Uptown Columbus President Richard Bishop promises the Streetscape work on Broadway will be completely finished by summer -- just in time for the next police crackdown to scare beer-drinking customers away.)

+ Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington had a busy day - cutting the ribbon for the new Wal-Mart SuperCenter on Whittlesey Boulevard, then cutting the ribbon for the reopened Sandwich Shanty downtown. I hope he had time to rest, between those events....

+ Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones showed off a newly-expanded detention center. When it opens in May, criminals will be assigned to various "pods" inside the center - so even behind bars, inmates can experience podcasts.

(For some reason, Lee County calls it a "detention center." Maybe years from now, they'll officially name it the Jay Jones Jail.)

+ The Plains City Council asked the city attorney to investigate whether sagging "low-rider" jeans can be outlawed. City officials fear the clothing will distract tourists visiting the Jimmy Carter National Historic Site. Besides, statistics show inflation did NOT drop while Mr. Carter was President....

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue sent a letter to U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, requesting Congress approve $131 million in federal money for the PeachCare program. It's at moments like this that some Republicans wonder if Perdue really converted to their party.

+ San Diego Padres baseball player Mike Cameron was the guest speaker at the Kendrick High School football banquet. Yes, I know Cameron grew up in LaGrange. But a baseball player, speaking at a football banquet?! Isn't this a bit like Zell Miller speaking at a Republican party convention?! I mean.... oh wait....

+ Miami police confirmed Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick will NOT face criminal charges, for that water bottle seized at the airport. This marks Vick's first post-season victory since the 2004 divisional playoffs.

+ Instant Message to WRBL's Phil Scoggins: You didn't have to fill your gas tank for $2.16 a gallon, you know. The price was as low as $2.03 on Victory Drive Monday - and your staff could help improve the Columbus South economy while it's there.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3568 (+ 108, 3.1%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 11:40 PM

22 JAN 07: TOWN TURMOIL

Did you hear the good news about Hurtsboro? The Russell County town is receiving a state grant of more than $125,000 for new park equipment. I had to learn this from the Friday evening news - because no one in Hurtsboro seems to be sharing good news like this with me....

I've learned more about Hurtsboro since the first of the year than I ever expected to know. In fact, I've learned some things that I'm not really sure I want to know. Some of these things would make a great prime-time TV drama - except "Desperate Housewives" already beat me to it.

If you've been following along in recent weeks, you may already know what's coming. We've heard again from the Russell County Constable who lives in Hurtsboro. I hesitate to write that he "serves" Hurtsboro, because many residents don't seem to think he really does.

Since our last focus on Hurtsboro four days ago, Robert Schweiger has sent us two e-mails and a "snail mail" about the town. It's now reached the point of naming names and making personal accusations -- and what makes this even more amazing is that the election ended two months ago.

We're choosing to edit some of Robert Schweiger's first e-mail, for reasons we'll explain below:

Richard:

I certainly am glad that I'm a contributing factor in your circulation! I'm a firm believer that Publicity is PUBLICITY even if it's inaccurate.

There's only one thing that concerns me! In the past, when I contributed to newspapers or appeared on TV they covered their posteriors or other parts of their anatomy with disclaimers or by requesting my sign-off. Now, I wouldn't want anyone to give you any skewed information - so why don't you come to either end of this ol' hoss - and ask me! My life is an open book!

But, if you like diversity - here's the names of four businessmen in "Hurt'sboro; who will give you an earful!.... I look forward to a rebuttal phase! I've tried to get these guys to a public forum on previous occasions - They and the City officials opted to spread propaganda and boycot those gatherings!

One more thing and I will leave it at that. The "Concerned" Citizen [17 Jan] said that I spouted "venom!" I prefer to call it "Truth" serum!

The man that lays down with dogs!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

If this Constable is suggesting "any publicity is better than no publicity," he needs to send note of encouragements to Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

R.J. Schwieger indeed named four Hurtsboro businessmen -- but I'm not going to do it here. The reason: one of them threatened to "come after" me if his/her name appeared here. Yes sir, those little towns can be very friendly places....

Because R.J. Schweiger named four names in Hurtsboro, I made several phone calls Friday afternoon which I absolutely did NOT want to make. I tried to call the people to get their side of the story -- realizing some of them might hear the name "Schweiger," and start calling me names other than Richard.

But before I picked up the phone, R.J. Schweiger's "snail mail" reached my box. It had seven photocopied documents, listing ten specific complaints against Hurtsboro's government and other accusations against several residents. If everything he wrote is true, the Alabama state grant money for park improvements might wind up putting rusty basketball goals in the middle of an open dump.

I was unable to reach one of the four people R.J. Schweiger listed. Another politely declined to comment. A third made the threat to "come after" me, saying: "I'm fed up with that man." This is where a caller to "Rise N' Shine" awhile back had a good idea - put all these people in a professional wrestling ring.

The wife of one Hurtsboro business owner was willing to talk with me - and she had plenty to say. Renee Williams says her husband hired R.J. Schweiger's wife to work at a convenience store. Then the Schweigers' marriage fell apart - and the Constable reportedly tried to have his wife fired for stealing store money. But the only thing reportedly missing was the Constable's love life....

Store owner Gary Williams was named in R.J. Schweiger's documents - because of a polygraph report. The Constable came to Columbus in 2004 and passed a test, regarding whether Williams threatened him. But Schweiger ought to know those exams are NOT allowed in most courts - and they certainly didn't help Anita Hill years ago.

Renee Williams confirmed something R.J. Schweiger wrote longhand on his polygraph document - that her husband served a five-year prison term for drug running. But she says Gary Williams has kept himself out of trouble since 1999. Well, except when the Constable tries to stir up some FOR him....

Gary Williams and R.J. Schweiger wound up in court over a dispute - and Williams' wife says Judge Michael Bellamy found nothing worthy of a conviction. But he reportedly told the men to stay as far from each other as possible. In a town of about 700 people like Hurtsboro, this might require careful scheduling of gas tank fill-ups.

Hurtsboro has three police officers, and the documents indicate Constable Schweiger doesn't like at least one of them. A letter from an Alabama state commission notes an officer was terminated in October 2004, because the police chief didn't require him to take a recertification course. But after the course was taken, the officer came back -- when he could have moved to Columbus for a big raise.

I could go much farther with this, but let's sum things up to this point. Several people in Hurtsboro made it clear to me that their Constable is nothing to be proud about - and is angry to the point of being a local embarrassment. "Grumpy Old Men" tend to be funny only in the movies, you know....

And you know what? Based on the Constable's second e-mail to me in recent days, he might just agree with all his critics:

In review of the occurances in "Hurt"sboro over the past three years - I've come to wonder - who is the brilliant strategist at City Hall? Or are the maneuvers therin just the knee-jerk reactions of the shamed!

Either way; they have avoided facing up to the issues by simply not responding or diverting public attention to the shortcomings of any accuser!

I plead guilty to being their principal challenger! And, although I have been demeaned in almost every possible way - I intend to continue questioning the actions of the Mayor and Council, until there's some straight answers!

Perhaps it's presumptious for me as an individual to challenge city leaders - but it is my right as a taxpayer.and believe me, I intend to exercise that privelege!

A recent headline [8 Jan] informed of the troubles of one "Hurt"sboro councilior, and if the authorities continue to dig for facts (I've many in hand) there will be more names added to the list. It's time to face the music in this old town!

My quest for justice has been labled a "Witch Hunt" by the folks at City Hall. But now, their false lables and thinning smoke screens have begun to fail! It will be interesting to see what transpires; when the truth finally comes out!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

There was something familiar to me in this second message -- and Sunday night it finally occurred to me. This is the sort of speech Venezuela's President could give at the United Nations.

Some people in Hurtsboro suspect R.J. Schweiger wants the town dissolved by Russell County because he hates many local leaders. Others think he's simply losing his wits with age -- as if when his wife left him, she took the rocker he was on.

If Hurtsboro is as troubled as R.J. Schweiger claims, I wonder why he doesn't run for Mayor as the man to "clean up the town." That way we'll know if the people are on his side. But then again, maybe he hasn't run because he already knows the answer....

Whether the Constable is a crusader, a clown or a little bit of both, one thing has become clear in the last three weeks: Hurtsboro is too well-named. A number of people are hurting psychologically and emotionally, and some may actually be threatening to hurt each other. I'm not sure all the issues in this town could be solved by a giant meeting with Dr. Phil McGraw.

If anyone wants to continue this, uh, discussion, I'm willing to keep it up. But from now until further notice (unless there's big breaking news), we're going to limit the Hurtsboro updates to Mondays. This little town will have its own day of the week - and for a town with 0.4 percent of the population of Columbus, that's pretty big of me.

Now let's all go back to our corners, and consider some weekend news from outside Hurtsboro. In places such as -- hey, maybe Columbus:

+ The Wal-Mart store on Airport Thruway closed, in preparation for today's grand opening of a SuperCenter on Whittlesey Boulevard. One woman complained to WRBL the final day didn't have many good sales. I have two words for this woman - try Parisian.

+ An online check confirmed Bear O'Brien has left WSTH-FM "Rooster 106," to become a morning radio host in Montgomery. O'Brien also was the "in-store radio" voice of Piggly Wiggly supermarkets. This move makes sense to me - since Bears, Roosters and Pigs only seem to mix in Chinese calendars.

+ The Montgomery Advertiser web site showed pictures of a Saturday parade, marking the 200^th birthday of Robert E. Lee. About 150 people marched in the parade - and apparently none of them were from the Ku Klux Klan.

+ The "New Hope Revival Center" broadcast on WSHE-AM featured a pastor sharing his recent "vision" of tanks rolling in dusty hills. A voice from the tanks told the pastor, "We're going to secure the border." Then the phone line to the church service was disconnected TWICE for several minutes - so why is Mexico's government so concerned about this man?

(The Smiths Station pastor went on to say the protesters of President Bush's recent trip to Fort Benning were "stupid," because the President probably never knew they were on Victory Drive. He added he prays for soldiers overseas every day - but if they don't know he's doing it, where does that put him?)

+ ESPN reported the bottle seized from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick at the Miami airport did NOT have traces of marijuana after all. In fact, it had NO illegal substance at all - so Vick must have used one very old tea bag.

+ Instant Message to the National Football League: OK, I'll make an exception -- this time only. I won't make fun of the Super Bowl taking place in February this year. Considering the coaches who won Sunday, it's only fitting to have this year's game during Black History Month.

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-- posted by Richard at 2:01 AM

Sunday, January 21, 2007

21 JAN 07: INFIL-TRAITORS?

Uh-oh - seven months of investigating at Fort Benning have ended with the arrests of alleged illegal immigrants. Some of them could face felony charges. For instance, if the word "Jihad" is in their names....

The clamp came down this past week at the Fort Benning gates, by Immigration and Custom Enforcement agents. Even this far South, you have to watch out for ICE in the winter.

Federal agents made 21 arrests of possible illegal immigrants, who apparently were doing construction work at Fort Benning. These suspects may not realize there was a legal way around all this. Simply do a different kind of "work" -- by enlisting and doing a tour in Iraq.

The U.S. Army's Corps of Engineers actually is in charge of Fort Benning construction work. The Corps explains it hires contractors, and it's up to the contractors to hire legal workers. So in a way, this is a case where the Army says: "Follow THEM."

Fort Benning officers say illegal immigrants can get past security checkpoints and onto post, if they're in a car where one person has legal identification. This is the most unusual spinoff of "Safety Cab" I've ever found....

But Fort Benning promises rule changes are coming later this year, to more closely check the identification shown at its gates. For instance, a system of badges is planned for contractors. Now THAT should settle everything! Just ask the Muscogee County Marshal how easy a badge system can be.

Only WRBL's web site has mentioned the national background of the illegal immigrant suspects. It shows they're from Mexico, Guatemala and Italy -- yet I'm still a bit concerned. Is there a security hole here, which could allow potential terrorists onto Fort Benning? To hear Hugo Chavez talk, not everyone coming to this country from Venezuela nowadays might be a baseball player....

Even further: does news of this crackdown open a door for other people to invade Fort Benning? The SOA Watch protesters might quit coming to town aboard charter buses, and simply use a convoy of mid-sized cars.

There are other loopholes which terrorists could exploit to enter Fort Benning, which are even more obvious. But maybe I'd better stop here, and NOT list them. I might be accused of aiding "the enemy" - although a spike in readers from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia would inflate my ego a bit.

(I'll only drop this hint -- if Columbus city workers don't need that fence around the Second Avenue bridge, it might look nice and useful at the end of Saint Mary's Road.)

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: Two young women had just finished a discussion with Columbus Police officers. They walked into a South Lumpkin Road business, ready to talk about it -- but in a quiet tone of voice.

"We were in that Cuban grocery store, and they accused her of stealing some water without paying for it. We offered to go to the back to have them search her, but they wouldn't.... I think it was a race thing, 'cause I've got money, honey."

Maybe it's more than a race thing -- because the grocery stores near these women are Mexican and Puerto Rican, not Cuban.

We'll let the police sort that out, while we send some Instant Messages....

+ To The Courier newspaper: If your "Street Committee" really thinks REGINALD Pugh is a Columbus Councilor, it's seriously lacking in "street cred."

+ To whomever put up posters on Victory Drive saying, "Chill Will, the Poor People's President": Is that what they're calling Mr. Clinton now?

+ To the Lee County Commission: Did you forget it, too? I didn't realize until late Friday night that Friday was the 200^th birthday of Robert E. Lee. But there were no celebrations - not even by Lester Maddox's relatives.

+ To Hyundai of Auburn: Aw, c'mon - what do you mean, your mailing "will be your only notice!!"? I've seen your grand opening commercial on TV at least once....

+ To John Sumner, the general manager of Bill Heard Chevrolet: What happened to Phil Carter? His jackets were a lot more interesting to watch in commercials than yours.

+ To Carol Johnston of the Auburn University fisheries division: That was fascinating! You recorded fish underwater, making noises to attract mates during breeding season. The next time I'm around single women, I guess I'll actually speak up a bit.

+ To the Northern Little League All-Stars: What a surprise - seeing you bag groceries Saturday at a Winn-Dixie store! As I recall, Kurt Warner's sports career went in the other direction....

+ To Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick: How could you? I mean, you should know the law as well as anybody else! You should have known 20-ounce bottles can't be carried aboard airplanes these days.

+ To the man who was sitting at the edge of the road outside Port Columbus Friday, wearing a western hat: I guess someone already told you, didn't they? The Pro Bull Riding was in town LAST weekend.

COMING MONDAY: Did I say this Hurtsboro thing was getting very ugly? Just you wait....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Friday, January 19, 2007

for 20 JAN 07: YE WHO DID HEAR THE CALL

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

The Biblical book of Revelation says when Jesus comes back, "every eye shall see Him." I heard a minister say years ago this will be possible because the return will be televised live on CNN. Then I'd joke with friends in Atlanta that the smaller cable channel where I worked would miss the big moment -- because we'd probably be in a commercial break.

(That statement was not entirely fiction. Next week will mark 21 years since the Challenger space shuttle -- and while CNN showed it live, CNN Headline News was in a pre-set commercial break at 11:38 a.m. ET. Television news can be a lot like real estate: timing is everything.)

Assuming Jesus's return from heaven is televised live, someone probably will be offering narration of the big event. So I started wondering this week - what would happen if well-known sportscasters were on the air in Jerusalem, watching it? This would certainly be the biggest comeback they've ever witnessed....

Thanks to the Internet, we can give you our own idea of what sportscasters might someday say. We'll do that in several upcoming Saturdays - and our first choice is inspired by the news this week that Don Sutton is moving from Atlanta to baseball's Washington Nationals. Who will say "That's right, Skip" to Skip Carey now?!?!

This blog had more than 28,000 visits in 2006, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, make a PayPal donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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-- posted by Richard at 11:42 PM

19 JAN 07: ALL FOR ONE

The annual "One Columbus" recognition dinner was held Thursday night at the Columbus Trade Center. People who didn't know better about this group might have been disappointed - because tickets cost 40 dollars, not one.

Two people were honored at the banquet, for their efforts to promote "One Columbus." The "Unity Chalice" went to former City Manager Carmen Cavezza - who, from what we can tell, turned his back on the unpaid landfill fees of all ethnic communities.

I suspect Carmen Cavezza received the award for much more than his work with the One Columbus organization. His promotions of assistants at the Government Center led to Isaiah Hugley becoming the city's first African-American City Manager - and ensured someone would replace the Doziers as the city's most powerful political couple.

The other award at the One Columbus banquet was given to a Hardaway High School student. Philandria Williams won an essay contest, and summed up her submission this way: "If everyone was the same, the world would be a boring place...." And imagine the long line you'd face at McDonald's to buy dinner.

According to the One Columbus web site, the theme of Thursday night's banquet was "Building Bridges, Connecting People." This theme came very close to occurring in real life this week - but Mayor Wetherington prevented the handcuffing of homeless people under the Second Avenue bridge.

The overall goal of One Columbus is to promote and improve race relations. You can see and hear the impact of this effort all around town. For instance, Davis Broadcasting now has TWO radio stations where you can hear white announcers and singers.

One kind of "bridge-building" One Columbus praises is a program which might be called "pulpit swap," where ministers in different parts of town trade churches for a week. Yet I suspect even this has his limits. I doubt many rabbis would let firebrand Baptist evangelists come in and give a sermon.

One Columbus already seems to be taking bold new steps in 2007, to promote racial harmony. Did you notice tickets go on sale Saturday at the Civic Center, for a performance by Blue Man Group?

But the last year brought a few setbacks in the effort to build One Columbus. WRBL dropped an African-American morning news anchor. WRCG dropped its African-American co-host on "TalkLine." And I'm still waiting for the Cottonmouths to announce a "minority set-aside" program.

This week's issue of the Columbus Times came out Thursday, with an interesting column along the lines of One Columbus. It urges African-American people to stop using the "M-word." The M stands for "minorities." Shame on you old-time Southerners, who thought it stood for "Master."

The author of this column makes a good point, because Census Bureau numbers show there is NO majority ethnic community in Columbus right now. Each group makes up less than 50 percent of the population. So if there's any such thing as a "race war" in this city these days, it's happening in obstetrics offices and delivery rooms.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Someone in East Alabama has a lot on his/her mind - and for a change, Hurtsboro has nothing to do with it:

Phenix City Council Approves Widening of Stadium Drive

if I heard it right, the bids are not even to go out until late this year and work starts sometime in 08, buy that time -all of those new houses up on the hill should have been built and wondering on who(m) pushed to have the intersection redone...?

While listening to the news about Gov. Inauguration speech - the word Alabamians sure sounded a lot like ALIENS - maybe some UFO sightings in the speech would put it into perspective..

I say Alabamians should be replaced with Alanbaman's - more fitting for us Alabama Aliens

Mayor Hardin was on TV trying to explain his version of the water deal, saying mis info has been spread about what the deal really is..I watch and listened to it and could not understand it.

If I have told correct- that Phenix City water is trying to sell 1/3 to Fort Mitchell water and 1/3 to Russell county water and the 2 will have to come up with around 24 million dollars to give Phenix city and then Phenix City will be able to tell Fort Mitchell water and Russell county water what to do in their own territory..This is where that wrongful annexation to Phenix City is popping up. Will others tell me if this is Correct and if this not right - Please someone with the facts say it anit' so...

Seems that the east of river news paper agree's with many, that news on the west side of the river only needs a small section to be delivered mid week to us and no charge for the news. Does someone still live in the Smiths Station area work at the newspaper with a high ranking editors spot- you knowz - the one that keeps the news out of the paper. Yes, there Deadly car wreacks, house fires, disputes with guns, killings, robberies and unbelievable acts by elected officials,,does it make the news,,only when the east side of the river s low on reports to announce..

Well, at least I THOUGHT this had nothing to do with Hurtsboro. But then I started reading all the problems in that last paragraph -- and I wondered if the armed gangs had moved.

I would hope the widening of Stadium Drive is due to complaints by ALL drivers, and not only developers. After all, that street connects Garrett-Harrison Stadium with Phenix City Central High School - and some of those football linemen are pretty wide-bodied nowadays.

But we should note at a Thursday work session, Phenix City Council discussed a shortage of money to pay for improvements on Broad Street. That's a "streetscape" project where the road would be narrowed - and digging up those extra lanes to move them to Stadium Drive can't be cheap.

That's an interesting idea, for changing the name of an Alabama resident. Why, people with Irish heritage should have their own name - O'Bamas.

Let's try to sort out this "mini-water war" again. Phenix City, Fort Mitchell and Russell County would form a joint "water authority," each with one-third control. So Phenix City would not necessarily tell Fort Mitchell what to do, nor could Fort Mitchell necessarily tell Phenix City what to do. Think of it as a small-scale version of the United Nations Security Council.

I think the free "small section" newspaper this writer is describing is the East Alabama Journal, which is printed by the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer. It's competing against the Phenix Citizen-News, which costs 50 cents. So the question is whether Phenix City and Smiths Station are "four-bit" towns or not.

We're holding one other e-mail for another day - mainly because I want to take a break from the Hurtsboro debate. If "One Columbus" ever wants to expand to nearby towns, this would be a great place to start....

So let's call the roll of other Thursday news items:

+ Columbus Planning Director Rick Jones told WRBL a lack of investment capital is delaying the construction of a new marina. OK, Al Fleming! You've complained about this for years. Now put some of that nightclub money where your mouth is -- and maybe they'll name the marina in your honor after all.

(Rick Jones added construction of a "rails to trails" path should begin by summer. Eventually it will extend from the 14^th Street Bridge downtown to Psalmond Road - making future Country's Midnight Express runs longer and more challenging than ever.)

+ Harris County School Superintendent Susan Andrews said the proposed Georgia education budget includes money for a third middle school. It would be built in Cataula - and maybe it should be a geography magnet school, dedicated to keeping Cataula on Georgia state maps.

+ A report from the Alabama Department of Education warned 16 percent of Russell County High School freshmen are projected to drop out in the next four years. Apparently no projections were made about the high school faculty doing the same....

+ Synovus reported its fourth-quarter earnings were up 28 percent from the year before. Yippee! The new "CB&T of East Alabama" in downtown Phenix City will have even fancier couches than I imagined....

+ A Georgia Public Safety official admitted to state lawmakers the State Patrol cannot fill its openings for troopers. Five graduates of last year's "trooper school" already have resigned - and if the patrol would kindly hand over those names to Mayor Wetherington, he'll track them down with nice contracts.

+ Time magazine announced its Atlanta bureau will close, in a wave of staff cuts. So how much champagne did they drink Thursday evening at "Columbus and the Valley?"

+ King Ford in Valley joined the infomercial wave, by selling cars for 30 minutes on WLGA TV-66. But the folks there have a long way to go to match the quality of Rivertown Ford in Columbus. "Bubba" in his overalls needs a supporting cast of people in funny outfits.

+ Columbus State men's basketball coach Doug Branson kicked three players off the team, for some kind of improper conduct. One of them is top scorer Alton Hart, who fractured an ankle last weekend - so he couldn't possibly have been caught in the wrong dance club.

+ Authorities at the Miami airport said they seized a water bottle with a secret compartment from Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick -- and the bottle had residue resembling marijuana. I knew the Falcons' season had gone to pot, but this is ridiculous....

+ Instant Message to the St. Luke United Methodist Church Fitness Center: Trust me from my own observations -- if someone has tuned one of your televisions to show the Weather Channel non-stop, he's NOT watching for the weather. He's probably sinning, by lusting after the good-looking meteorologists.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: We start a new series about a big upcoming event.... and you'll need your speakers on for it....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:03 AM

Thursday, January 18, 2007

18 JAN 07: SAM I AM?

Before we get to our main topic: warm greetings to those of you who are reading our blog at the Hurtsboro post office! We understand we're being printed out and posted there now - which makes me thankful I don't post my picture here as well.

More on the Hurtsboro hubbub later.... but FIRST:

"Your Sam's Club is moving to better serve you!" So said the promotional mailing I received a few days ago. But if I live downtown, and you're moving the club farther north, how does that better serve me? It is because you've put a gas station outside the new store, to make up the difference?

The new Sam's Club officially has its grand opening near Columbus Park Crossing today. But it actually opened for customers Wednesday morning -- with an "exclusive business preview." That failed effort to start a sports league still is paying small dividends....

The mailing from Sam's Club included a "one-day guest pass" to the building, with a ten-percent ~~markup~~ "service fee" on anything I would buy. But the biggest attraction to me was a "complimentary continental breakfast." The equation is simple: Single Guy + Free Food = Schedule Change.

The new Sam's Club is located on Whittlesey Boulevard, just past the intersection with Weems Road. The new Wal-Mart SuperCenter is next door, and will open next week. But be warned -- parking could be confusing at least, and messy at worst. That's because the parking spaces have more angles than some champion billiard players.

I turned right at what appeared to be the first entrance to Sam's Club from Whittlesey Boulevard -- and quickly found that was a big mistake. It's apparently an exit only, with lots of stripes where the entryway should be. I wound up going backwards on a couple of lanes leading to parking spaces -- which made me feel guilty, although most Columbus drivers probably won't care.

After finding a parking space without wrecking, I walked to the door of Sam's Club with my preview card. Amazingly, no one was at the front door or foyer tables to check me at about 9:15 a.m. For all they knew, I might have been an ordinary run-of-the-mill shopper....

Sam's Club promises "warehouse savings" on all sorts of items, from groceries to business supplies. But the first thing which struck me Wednesday was what was placed closest to the door -- shelves filled with high-definition and flat-screen TV sets. Customers won't want to leave the business waiting rooms, with those things everywhere.

Not far away was a display of Bose speakers for my computer. They're supposed to be acoustically superior, like those "wave radios" Paul Harvey has offered for years -- although I've wondered why you'd need such a pricy radio to hear him read the news.

The music played through Bose speakers didn't sound that different from the computer speakers I have -- the ones I only turn on when I must, to save on electricity. I only find them absolutely vital when I'm playing Windows "3D Pinball."

I'd been in Sam's Clubs a couple of times before, and knew part of the fun is the free food samples around the store. I picked up a microwave cheese stick, a slice of Atlanta Cheesecake, half a Snickers bar - and amazingly, none of that was the continental breakfast.

I was given a certificate as I entered for a free vision screening at the Sam's Club optical center. But when I went there, a woman walked me halfway across the store to a table I'd already visited for free lens cleaning. My vision HAD to be OK, because I read the instructions on the certificate perfectly....

After I read a couple of lines of letters with my glasses on, I was told my vision is 20/30 in my right eye. This means my right eye is weaker than my left. Don't tell my friends at church that - because I think some of them suspect I'm left-leaning already.

The Sam's Club "business preview" featured a table with office supplies. I couldn't help asking a man about a shredder on a table, "Is that the official shredder of the Government Center?"

But the big issue for me at a store like Sam's Club is the bottom line. Do you really save money with "warehouse club pricing?" I scribbled down some random prices:

+ Bananas in a bag: 98 cents. This might be worth buying, simply for the novelty of seeing bagged bananas in the produce section.

+ Ground chuck in a case: $1.41 per pound. That's pretty good - but frozen ground turkey at the new Wal-Mart will cost you 13 cents less, and be better for your bloodstream.

+ Diet Coke: a four-pack of two-liter bottles for $4.23. The Wal-Mart brand would save me more than $1.50 - and can you really tell them apart, over ice?

+ "Joint Juice Plus:" $18.88. This was in the health department - but I thought they only sold this stuff at nightclubs.

+ Walnut grill: $1,000. At that price, who would dare roll it off an enclosed porch -- even on a sunny day?

+ Sam's Club regular unleaded gasoline: $2.13 a gallon. Prices are drifting lower than that on the other side of Columbus - but where are the Kohl's and Sears stores down there?

I decided Wednesday what I had concluded several years ago, when it comes to Sam's Club -- it's not really for me. The "savings" really aren't that much. And I live in a relatively small apartment -- so buying items by the case eventually would mean I'd have no room for my legs under the kitchen table.

Oh yes, about that continental breakfast - it was served in the Sam's Club "café," and offered a nice mix of items. I enjoyed fruit, apple juice and chocolate chip muffins. But would you call Sam's Club to order a 16-inch large pizza for $7.97? Little Caesar's is a little lower....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now we head back to Hurtsboro - and we knew one of Tuesday's e-mails would draw a response....

Richard:

I was pleased to see that a "concerned" citizen responded to my claims! I'm only disappointed that they weren't courageous enough to sign their name!

Now, let me clear up a couple of misquotes - and then get on to - as Joe Friday used to say. "The facts Maam; just the facts."

First of all, although accused - I'm not a racist - I've never attended a NASCAR event! And, I NEVER accused Micheal Bellamy of being a criminal!!! I merely said that he was imported to "Hurt"sboro to "sit" in on my particular trial. This is the second time that "Judge" white has called in outside help and recused himself when the cheese got too binding! So far, I've won one, and I'm still at the plate on the second one. Even if I lose, it will serve as an expose! I'm confused by the writer's statement of a possible civil action - since when are provable facts - grounds for litigation? And believe me! I have a stack of documents that I've been trying to get somebody to look at for more than two years!

Now, let me plead "guilty" or at least admit that some of the writer's claims are true. I've been labled unstable by some, especially when I point out the obvious. I've made many enemies in "Hurt"sboro's City Hall by uncovering the embezzlment of a large sum of municipal funds, asking for an audit of the Municipal Court, and questioning the employment of a police officer who wasn't qualified. There has been enough uncovered to warrant censure by the Ethics Commission and an action by the District Attorney! There's more, much more and I will gladly verify it - if I'm asked!

I also admit that I do live in a "Barn" and sleep in my kennel office. But I would wager a farthing that my domicile far exceeds the "Concerned" Resident's hovel!

The man who lays down with dogs

Constable R.J. Schweiger

I guess I put two of the Constable's messages together incorrectly. First he e-mailed the blog, suggesting two Hurtsboro city officials were "guilty of criminal acts." [4 Jan] Then he sent another e-mail, dropping the name of Michael Bellamy. Sometimes names can drift away from the spot where you're trying to drop them.

And uh-oh - who's bringing up a "race card" in Hurtsboro? If anyone is, the Constable may try to have that person arrested for gambling....

A Hurtsboro resident told me Wednesday R.J. Schweiger truly has made "many enemies" - and not merely at City Hall. He's reportedly been barred from almost every business in town, because he's threatened and filed so many lawsuits. This Constable sounds like a personal one-man armed gang -- only armed with court summonses.

This Hurtsboro resident, who is in a position to know, says R.J. Schweiger's real goal is for the Hurtsboro city government to be taken over by Russell County. Trouble is, Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell reportedly won't give Constable Schweiger any work to do. Boswell is apparently concerned the Constable might serve papers the way Jack Bauer enforces justice on "24."

In fact, this Hurtsboro resident does not want his/her name used because he/she is concerned R.J. Schweiger will come after them! The Constable might even call out the dogs - since we've now confirmed he has several.

By the way, Instant Message to Russell County Judge Michael Bellamy: Hi -- uh, your honor. We understand you're reading our blog now. I drive the speed limit as best I can when I'm in Phenix City - really.

We'll ring the bell to end today's round there - and move on to Tuesday's big vote at Columbus Council:

That settlement related to the Walker case is outrageous. Three men were detained four hours; that works out to over $10,000 an hour! I would volunteer for jail time at that rate! Granted, these men didn't "volunteer," but they did travel in a car matching the description.... which seems reasonably to give probable cause.

Note that the men had an incentive to settle. The lawyer usually gets a smaller share by contingency (e.g., 20% instead of 33%), and his expenses are fewer than if he took it to trial. Moreover, the full circumstances about the night would come out in testimony.

At least Councilors McDaniel and Davis have sense. The rest ought to find some "private funding" to pay off the men similar to how the Library Board discovered some funding to cover their breach of contract with the renowned painted-garbage sculptor.

Double-checking the math: if each of the three men is paid $125,000, they'll actually be paid more than $30,000 an hour. That's a scale almost on the order of what major league baseball teams are paying relief pitchers.

The city of Columbus has a special "reserve fund" for situations such as this settlement. In fact, wasn't a commercial jingle made about that? You know -- "Living off the grand reserve is what life was meant to be."

Our last e-mail is about one particular member of Columbus Council, whom we mentioned here Tuesday:

There is no medical degree required for some symptoms. Ms. Evelyn Turner-Pugh's Parkinsons has been visible to anyone that watched or attended a council meeting. I am glad to see how well she handles it and that she finally felt comfortable enough to announced it.

We certainly do wish the Mayor Pro-Tem well. Maybe she'll follow the lead of another person with Parkinson's disease -- and if she keeps winning elections, she'll join Muhammad Ali as an honorary captain at sports events.

We thank all of you who write us - and now we'll write a little more about Wednesday news:

+ GPB's "Lawmakers" reported Rep. Calvin Smyre of Columbus has flown to Washington, to lobby for full federal funding of health care programs such as PeachCare. He'd better hurry - because once House Democrats finish their "100-hour" agenda, they may be too tired to approve anything for weeks.

+ WRBL found a group of homeless people living under the Second Avenue Bridge. The city planned to put an eight-foot-high fence around the bridge, but Mayor Jim Wetherington has ordered that stopped for at least a month. This is amazing -- as the heart of the "Big Chief" actually seems to melt when the weather turns colder.

+ An executive with Sandman, Inc. told the evening news he tried to contact city revenue officials several times, about paying old landfill fees. But efforts to reach Craig Strain were unsuccessful - leading me to wonder if that shredder in his office had any pink strips, for phone messages.

+ Phenix City officials announced Stadium Drive will be widened, around South Railroad Drive. There will be more room for school buses in the morning and afternoon -- and a lot more room for drivers, as they head to a Wal-Mart SuperCenter about to lose a lot of business.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue proposed a $20.2 billion budget, saying it includes a three-percent raise for teachers. Does that mean their gift card next summer will have an extra $1.50 on it?

+ Clayton State swept Columbus State in a basketball doubleheader. The Cougar men's team played without a star player - who not only fractured his ankle, but somehow made WDAK announcer Scott Miller sick in the process.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3632 (+ 172, 5.0%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:28 AM

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

17 JAN 07: PAST, LESS TENSE

Three-day weekends allow plenty of time to rest - but it also allows plenty of time for news to build up. Several big stories gushed out Tuesday like a volcano. And when our own breaking news gets shoved way down the page, the other stuff MUST be big....

Let's start with a big move in the Kenneth Walker case. Columbus Council voted 8-2 Tuesday to settle a lawsuit with the three men who were in a car with Walker on that fateful night in 2003. None of the four turned out to have drugs - but three of them could wind up with enough money to be tempted by them.

The three men with Kenneth Walker claimed their rights were violated, because Columbus authorities held them for four hours without charging them. But those three should have looked on the bright side - they could have been at a base in Cuba for four years.

City Attorney Clifton Faye recommended the city pay $125,000 to each of the three men in the car. He said that will save money, compared to how much the city could lose if a federal civil rights lawsuit goes to trial. Recalling what a grand jury decided about David Glisson, Fay must think it's the city's turn to lose in court.

Attorney Joseph Wiley spoke for the three plaintiffs, saying they decided to settle the case so Columbus can heal after the Kenneth Walker controversy. This may have surprised some people -- since the case has been out of the headlines so long, they thought the healing already happened.

(You may recall it was Joseph Wiley who called for a "cooling-off period" in the Kenneth Walker tension, after civil rights groups came close to boycotting Riverfest in 2005. Now he's worked out a legal settlement for three of Walker's friends. So can he donate some of his "cut" to help Riverfest reopen next year?)

But not every member of Columbus Council was in a mood to settle the lawsuit. Red McDaniel said he saw no reason to spend money on a settlement, if a jury didn't order the city to pay it. It looks like he's out of the running to promote Georgia Power's "Project Share" program.

Councilor Glenn Davis agreed that the city should NOT settle, and let the civil rights lawsuit go to trial. He declared Columbus residents could live with the decision of a jury. Oh really?! Have most people nationwide done that with the O.J. Simpson trial?

On the other hand, Councilor Wayne Anthony said continuing the civil rights lawsuit would leave a "negative component on our city." In more than three years, I've never heard the Kenneth Walker case compared with stereo systems before....

In one of his first comments as a Columbus Councilor, Jerry "Pops" Barnes said the city should admit "a wrong was done" in December 2003. I'm not sure a $125,000 settlement officially does that. I don't recall Sheriff Ralph Johnson even giving one of those "mistakes were made" speeches.

This settlement does NOT end the Kenneth Walker case completely. There's still a civil suit pending, filed by Walker's family against former deputy/shooter David Glisson. Based on what I've heard, Glisson remains unemployed - and he might wind up doing odd jobs for the family, to pay any damages.

CLASSIC BLOG: Another attorney represented Kenneth Walker's fellow passengers when the controversy erupted. We noted this when we attended a protest meeting, for the 6 Jan 04 blog entry:

Montgomery attorney Dwayne Brown represents the three other men with Kenneth Walker on the night their car was stopped on I-185. He wants a "special prosecutor" brought in from outside Columbus to handle the investigation. Someone should tell him that strategy didn't stop the property tax freeze.

Dwayne Brown argued the District Attorney's office can't be impartial in the Kenneth Walker case, because that office has to be linked with law enforcement to prosecute other cases. He makes a good point. So far there's no TV show called "Law WITHOUT Order."

Dwayne Brown also hinted the still-unnamed deputy who shot Kenneth Walker may have used excessive force once before. If they try to make spanking children an issue in this....

BLOG UPDATE: Back in the present and back at Columbus Council, City Manager Isaiah Hugley released a list Tuesday of which businesses are behind in paying landfill fees. They're actually more than "businesses" - because the Muscogee County School District owes almost $49,000. Is THAT what happened to all those missing textbooks?

A five-page report on companies behind in landfill fees shows the biggest tab was run up by The Sandman, at more than $324,000. Before some of you become enraged and demand tough punishment - I really don't want that giant trash bin outside my bedroom window again.

Several companies and agencies are surprisingly behind at least 60 days in their landfill fees:

+ Columbus State University. The Riverpark campus DID open three months later than planned, after all....

+ Dolly Madison. I wondered what happened to Hostess cupcakes, when the curly icing didn't come out quite right.

+ Georgia Power. "Always on" doesn't mean always on time.

+ Green Island Country Club. Why don't they simply recycle the golf balls from the water hazards, and sell them in the pro shop?

So who's to blame for the landfill fee-asco? A report from Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson finally went public Tuesday - as District Attorney Gray Conger said he'll file no charges "at this time." Perhaps closer to next year's primary, that could change....

Sheriff Ralph Johnson's investigation reveals former Revenue Division manager Craig Strain may have shredded documents in his office, days before leaving city employment. But the city has NO written rules on destroying documents - so for all we know, there may no longer be any proof Jim Wetherington won the mayoral election.

The Sheriff was unable to determine whether then-city Finance Director Angela Cole knew about what Craig Strain was doing. Strain reportedly wanted to resign a couple of times, but Cole wouldn't let him - in a classic case of Strained relations.

The Sheriff's investigation traced the problem with uncollected landfill fees back to 2003 - and then-City Manager Carmen Cavezza reportedly knew about it. If any of you want to get even with Cavezza for this, he's accepting the "One Columbus" award for unity at a dinner Thursday night.

Sheriff Ralph Johnson even found a case from five years ago, where a city finance employee wrote two bad checks to the city. This woman obviously is in the wrong job. She should work for the federal government, where deficit spending is allowed.

Despite all this, the District Attorney says evidence of negligence by city workers does NOT mean any crime was committed. We'll now see if any Columbus state lawmakers introduce bills to outlaw laziness and stupidity by municipal employees.

Former Mayor Bob Poydasheff said Tuesday night he agrees with Gray Conger's decision NOT to file charges. He noted Angela Cole was demoted from Finance Director, after "landfill-gate" became public knowledge last year. But if our e-mail is any indication, some people won't be happy until someone is "Cole-fired."

E-MAIL UPDATE: Let's get away from all these Columbus scandals -- and head to another place with some, in Russell County:

Richard,

Just wanted to let you know that Bob Scheiger is a convicted criminal. He has been convicted of practicing law without a license in the Hurtsboro Municipal Court. He has appealed this conviction. He has made numerous accusations against many people in this town from the guy who owns the hardware store to the guy that owns the only gas station in town, to the police department and also the mayor. Unfortunately he doesn't get his facts right before he starts spewing his venom. If he continues on the path he is going he will not only be a convicted criminal but he will also be sued for what little he does have. By the way the man lives in a barn and sleeps on top of a dog kennel. He needs to get help and stop harassing the good people of Hurtsboro.

A concerned citizen of Hurtsboro

So let me get this straight - you're saying the "Constable" is a con, and not very stable?!

This e-mailer DOES have his/her facts right - as your blog confirmed Tuesday Constable Robert Schweiger faces a February 6 arraignment in Russell County Court. He was found guilty in Hurtsboro Municipal Court in November not only of an unauthorized law practice, but contempt of court -- which could mean he doesn't have much future in mediation work, either.

First of all, I'm a bit surprised Hurtsboro even HAS a Municipal Court. As small a town as that is -- does it meet at the hardware store, with a hammer used instead of a gavel?

We went to the Russell County Courthouse to check the records on Constable Robert Schweiger - and a poster on the court clerk's office window noted the staff is barred from giving legal advice. The Alabama Chief Justice says it's against state law. So is the Constable in trouble, for telling someone to sue the gas station owner?

The court report suggests Constable Robert Schweiger actually was arrested in November. If I read it correctly, he had to post a $552 bond. Perhaps it's one dollar for every resident of Hurtsboro he's accused of breaking the law.

The court records also revealed Constable Robert Schweiger is 76, and filed a small claims court case two years ago against Hurtsboro Mayor Shirley Tarver. It did NOT say anything about him living in a barn -- but I keep waiting to hear about how BRAC at Fort Benning will bring new subdivisions to Hurtsboro.

The upcoming Russell County arraignment reminds me of a Robert Schweiger e-mail which I have NOT posted here [4 Jan] -- the one naming two people he considers "criminals." Perhaps it's time to name one of the people he's accusing: Russell County Judge Michael Bellamy. Bellamy can recuse himself, ignore the accusation completely - or clear Schweiger, and leave his jaw dragging the floor.

It happens that on the day we heard from this "concerned citizen," the controversial Constable wrote us again:

Richard:

You may recall my admission of total surprise and gratitude when I found that you had mentioned my name on your BLOG. That euphoria was eclipsed by your announcement that I was your "Official "Hurt"sboro Correspondent!

" That announcement prompts one to ask? "Why does anyone need news from "Hurt"sboro?" Here's the answer.

"Hurt"sboro's problems are about to become Russell County's problems! That means folks all over the County will have to dig into their pockets and County Agencies will be splitting their resources to include the needs of "Hurt'sboro's citizens! County Officials are quite aware of the impending disaster (I've warned them) and they sure don't want it to happen!

The doomsdayers are saying; "Let it Happen!' I hold the veiw; "That it is never too late!" Only time will tell who is right.

There are many reasons that this situation exists, but the primary cause is; "mare" Tarver and the City Council. Since publicity seems to be the only thing that gets the "mare's" attention and stirs outside agencies to act - it's time to air the dirty laundry, and sweep out City Hall.

I've been fortunate enough to espouse my views on the OPINION pages of several area newspapers, but I'm certain your BLOG reaches out to a lot more people.

Thanks!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

OK, your Constableship -- we're airing that dirty laundry right here. And we hope you realize that even the accusers might be wearing some....

I can almost predict what R.J. Schweiger will write us about what we're posting today. He'll call the two counts against him "trumped up," in an effort to silence him. But the way things are going, maybe all sides will be convicted - and the entire population of Hurtsboro will fill the Russell County Jail.

At this point, we must make an important disclosure. Constable Robert Schweiger is a "blog patron." He's sent a financial donation to this blog, just as anyone is welcome to do. But we post e-mails from our readers, whether they donate or not. And what we've posted today is rooted in an old message of truth from the Beatles - money can't buy you love.

If you're ready for a break after all of this, I don't blame you - so stretch your legs, and come back for some other brief notes from Tuesday:

+ Fort Benning Captain Luis Carlos Montalvan appeared on National Public Radio's "All Things Considered," and claimed Iraqi army commanders are pocketing paychecks from "ghost soldiers" - personnel who were killed in action or went AWOL. If any soldiers really have become ghosts, they're not scaring the insurgents very well at all.

+ Arthur Sumbry Junior was sworn in, as Russell County's new coroner. He makes history for two reasons. He's the first African-American coroner in Russell County - and he's probably the first coroner who dares to call himself by the nickname "Pee Wee." [True!}

+ Developers of The Phenixian project on the Phenix City riverfront announced it's on schedule to begin construction in June. The condominium building will be ten stories high - so if kayaking in the Chattahoochee River doesn't prove adventurous enough for tourists, they could try platform diving.

(Developers added The Phenixian condominiums will have a hot tub and barbecue grills. This may prove awkward for some east Alabama residents - as their instinct would tell them to fill the tub with ice, beer and soda.)

+ The Broadway musical "The Producers" opened a three-night stand at the RiverCenter. How frustrating this must be for the audience - as "Springtime for Hitler" comes to town at the same time real winter weather returns.

+ Georgia football coach Mark Richt shared his Christian testimony on a Billy Graham TV special. Richt revealed before becoming a coach, he was fired from a bartending job. Maybe he thought a "CC and Seven" required kicking an extra point.

+ Congratulations to Margaret Johnson, who marked 50 years of work at WRBL! And they say there's no job security in the television business. If you simply answer phones and handle paperwork instead of going on the air, you're fine....

SCHEDULED THURSDAY: E-mail about the Mayor Pro-Tem.... and our day of "clubbing"....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3460 (+ 81, 2.4%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:24 AM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

16 JAN 07: DAY OF DISCOVERIES

Sometimes you go to an event for one thing, and wind up taking home many others. That happened to me Monday, when I attended the Martin Luther King Day "Unity Service." And no, I didn't see anyone selling souvenir T-shirts with King's picture on them - as this is Columbus, not Atlanta.

It's easiest for me to simply list the discoveries I made during Monday's service at Metropolitan Baptist Church....

1. The new Columbus Mayor Pro-Tem has Parkinson's Disease. Evelyn Turner Pugh said so, as she offered official greetings from the city government. And her left hand shook as she said it - with no sign that she'd crushed her hand on a door.

"It's a mild case," Evelyn Turner Pugh explained to the audience. "I don't let it slow me down." Indeed - as I never noticed her showing signs of Parkinson's before, at Columbus Council meetings or the downtown bank where she works. In fact, a little hand-shaking might straighten out some of those crinkled dollar bills.

When I asked around about Evelyn Turner Pugh's condition Monday, one person told me there was some doubt she would accept the Mayor Pro-Tem position last week. But she's taking on the duty, even with Parkinson's -- which may confirm her once and for all in Columbus as a "mover and a shaker."

Evelyn Turner Pugh joins other public officials who have served while battling Parkinson's Disease. Take former Attorney General Janet Reno, who didn't let the disability become a personal weakness. Or have you noticed how she was never romantically linked to former President Clinton?

2. Columbus city officials don't turn out in large numbers for King Day Unity Services. Evelyn Turner Pugh stood in for Mayor Jim Wetherington. The only other Councilor there was Wayne Anthony - and no, he did NOT announce he's running for mayor in 2010.

3. At least one Muscogee County School Board member is feeling a bit guilty. James Walker admitted during the service he felt convicted by the "Unity Breakfast" earlier in the day -- and now wants to become "a man of more action." I didn't realize he was abstaining on so many school board votes.

James Walker encouraged the audience to become involved in the Columbus tutorial programs started by the late Lonnie Jackson. As Walker put it: "The district can't do it all...." Somehow, the "No Child Left Behind" program doesn't seem to agree with this....

4. Bus rides in Columbus used to cost ten cents. I learned this during remarks by Archbishop Horace Leonard of "Miracle Deliverance, the Triumph Dominion Church & Ministries Worldwide, Inc." -- a church name that's more like ten dollars than ten cents.

Horace Leonard recalled the efforts years ago to allow integrated dining in Columbus, at stores such as H.L. Green and Kresge. Today, of course, everything has changed. H.L. Green is out of business -- and Church's Chicken doesn't even bother putting restaurants north of 23^rd Street.

5. Even though Martin Luther King Day is now a holiday, some people still have trouble getting to the noon-hour service on time. Perhaps when Metropolitan Baptist Church finally builds a parking lot, a place can be reserved for the President of the Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance.

6. Some church pastors have an amazing knowledge of popular music. The guest speaker at the Unity Service certainly did. Why, Pastor C. McGill Brown ripped off more words to "Rapper's Delight" than I've heard anyone do in years.... [True!]

C. McGill Brown is a pastor in Savannah, who used to attend Columbus College. He recalled how he used to join classmates for football on Sundays at Lakebottom Park. Nowadays, they might be more likely to gather down the street at Loco's to follow fantasy football teams.

C. McGill Brown brought a unique perspective to this year's King Day message - because he was born in 1969, one year after Martin Luther King Junior was assassinated. You know you're officially old when the church pastor is ten years younger than you are....

But I digress: C. McGill Brown said the church he pastors in Savannah was visited by Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963. In fact, King presented excerpts from his "I Have a Dream" speech there - one month before it was given in full in Washington. So even preachers back then practiced the idea of "test marketing."

C. McGill Brown's focus was on teaching the next generation about the Martin Luther King legacy. But he offered other "aside" comments as well - gaining big applause at one point when he criticized pants worn below the waist. Yup, this truly was a Baptist church....

7. WRBL's Teresa Whitaker seems to show up at the Unity Service all the time - but very seldom does a photographer show up with her. Maybe she's keeping a hidden camera in her purse.

8. Away from the Unity Service, I was reminded that some people kept working on the Martin Luther King holiday. Construction workers finished up loose ends on the Columbus State University "Riverpark" campus downtown. At least, I'm assuming that - although maybe some performance artists are tearing apart the new building already, as a comment against educational elitism.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Since we're still in a "King Day" mode, here's a message about our Monday entry:

I enjoyed learning about Judge Johnson's contribution to the movement.

I do wonder why you chose to express "surprise" that he was a GOP supporter/member. Is your observation based on the fact that the Dems had a lock on the politics of Alabama and the South generally, or is it that an "eeeeevil" Republican would side with King and the NAACP?

If it is the latter, I wish to remind you that it was the Republican minority in Congress that consistently voted to support the advances in civil rights and the Democrats (especially those from Dixie) who fought this each step of the way - even upon JFK's demise.

If not for the GOP's overwhelming support of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, LBJ (the great Majority Leader who failed to advance the rights agenda whilst in Congress) would have had nothing to sign.

So, Richard, please 'splain yourself.

Best,

Ed Joyce

Watch your "Ed-iting," Mr. Joyce. I didn't say I was surprised that Frank Johnson was a Republican. I wrote "YOU may be surprised." If you're not - well, this is a blog, not an episode of "Lost."

Given the way civil rights debates are framed across the U.S. today, I think some people would be surprised to find a "young Republican" was in Martin Luther King's corner 50 years ago. But remember, the G.O.P. is the party of Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, J.C. Watts - and where was Georgia pizza magnate Herman Cain in the last election, anyway?

Now before I fall asleep watching NBC's new yawningly-quiet "Poker After Dark," let's check other Monday items:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 76 degrees F. I'd never gone running outdoors in the morning on King Day before, but this year I did -- and remember, running outside truly IS "free at last."

+ A new Red Robin Gourmet Burgers restaurant opened near Columbus Park Crossing. With a name like Red Robin, you'd think they would wait until March or April for the grand opening - but maybe the managers knew something about this warm winter that no one else did.

+ The Yahoo Real Estate web site showed a developer is offering five-bedroom homes in the new River Crest subdivision on River Road for $586,000. How wealthy do they think the Kia workers in West Point will be?

+ Bob Riley was inaugurated for a second term as Alabama governor. His speech was short on specific plans, but long on emphasizing courage - even saying parents showed courage by sending their children to school. If that sounds far-fetched, remember: dropouts can hold a lot of peer pressure.

+ ESPN's "SportsCenter" went to Tuscaloosa to interview new Alabama football coach Nick Saban. Saban revealed former coach Gene Stallings called him a couple of weeks ago, encouraging him to take the job. The reporter should have asked if Mike Dubose and Mike Price called Saban as well....

COMING THIS WEEK: This Hurtsboro thing is about to get very ugly.... and a sneak peek at a new Columbus club....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3379 (+ 191, 6.0%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 3:35 AM

Monday, January 15, 2007

15 JAN 07: THE OTHER BIG FRANK

A happy Martin Luther King Day to you. This could have been the fourth three-day holiday weekend in a row - but for some reason, the calls for making Elvis Presley's January 8 birthday a national holiday never caught on.

Did your church congregation do anything special this weekend to remember M.L.K. Day? He never came up in the place where I worship. Some people consider the holiday a bit like Labor Day - a day given to the liberals, to balance out Memorial Day and Veterans Day for flag-waving conservatives.

The calendar on our announcement table at church didn't have much written on it in 2006. A teenager noted Labor Day was when Steve Irwin was killed. And someone else wrote on October 30: "BIRTHDAY, FRANK M. JOHNSON, TRUE FATHER OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT." No, we didn't mark that day, either - and to be evenhanded, we didn't mark Halloween the next day.

I think I know who wrote in the birthday of Frank Johnson. The man told me about Johnson a year or two ago, when I wished him a happy King Day. It was the first I'd heard of Johnson -- and I actually tried to pay attention to those "Black History Month" messages they used to show on TV.

It turns out Frank Minis Johnson was a white man -- a federal judge from central Alabama. "He did more to advance the civil rights movement than Doctor King ever did," my friend at church told me. And here's the most amazing thing - my friend is African-American. It's as strange as today's Atlanta M.L.K. anniversary featuring Senator Saxby Chambliss.

I did a Wikipedia search this weekend to see if my friend was right about Judge Frank Johnson. Sure enough, his biography features a Bill Moyers quote that he "altered forever the face of the South." But then again, so did whoever decided to build the Aflac tower on Wynnton Road....

Judge Frank Johnson actually made the cover of "Time" magazine for some of his rulings in Alabama. One of his first decisions was to order the integration of Montgomery's public transportation system in 1956. Well, it actually WAS integrated back then - because all races were allowed on the same buses, only with different seats.

It was Judge Frank Johnson who used a Macon County, Alabama case to order the desegregation of Alabama's public schools in 1963. I'm not sure if Tuskegee University has achieved racial balance yet, but....

It was Judge Frank Johnson who ordered the Selma-to-Montgomery civil rights march to proceed in 1965. He overruled Governor George Wallace, even though they went to law school together at the University of Alabama. Somewhere, Don Siegelman may be feeling a little bit of deja vu.

And it was Judge Frank Johnson who ruled in 1966 that Alabama's "poll tax" was unconstitutional. Democrats truly were in charge of state politics then - even putting taxes on some people's votes.

Given those rulings, you may be surprised to learn Judge Frank Johnson was a Republican. He was a delegate to the party's convention in 1948, only to be nominated for F.B.I. Director by President Carter almost 30 years later. Considering George Wallace's son is now a Republican, maybe political power hasn't changed as much in Alabama as we thought.

My friend at church would tell you without Judge Frank Johnson's rulings, Martin Luther King's marches and protests would have amounted to nothing. I contend without the King marches and protests, Judge Frank Johnson would have had nothing to rule on. It's probably a "chicken-and-egg" argument - and in the South, it's still more likely to happen on radio talk shows than at church.

But my friend has a valid point about the civil rights movement in general. The reforms which took place in this country since 1954 have been almost entirely due to rulings by white judges. From schools in Topeka and Little Rock to polling places in the South - why, all those judges could be listed on a single Taylor County plaque.

So if you're a white person who still isn't sure what to do about this holiday after more than 20 years, maybe you should think today about the white judges who ruled in Martin Luther King Junior's favor. They assisted in that dream - and they were sly enough to dodge all the batons and fire hoses.

By the way, you may have read or heard that all banks are closed for M.L.K. Day - but that's not so. The SunTrust branch inside the Bradley Park Drive Publix store is open. A sign posted inside says it's "as a convenience to our customers." As high-priced as some items at Publix are, I guess this makes sense....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Sometimes readers combine several of our topics into one message. That saves disk space, you know....

Richard, I was rather surprised to read your disrespectful comments about Ft. Mitchell. Do you realize how many of our military heroes are buried in the VA cemetery there? Since they are unable to complain to you I thought I would do it for them!

And about those area civilians who got their pictures taken with the President at Ft. Benning - I wonder if they had to pay (donate) the usual $5,000 or was it that they had already donated the $5,000 before the visit and that's why they got invited.

And why should the city of Columbus give the companies that are delinquent with their landfill fees 60 days or more before charging a late fee? The average citizen has to pay late fees to their credit card companies if they are one day late! And how about the average citizen having to pay late fees and penalties for paying their property taxes late, or their utility bills late? Sounds to me like the city officials are giving one group (landfill users) a break!

Glad to see that Doug Kellett is reading your blog. Many of us out there in radio-land are still waiting patiently for WRCG management to get smart and put him back on the air. Have they forgotten how popular his talk show was for years? The L-E article reported that WRCG was losing money and that's why they had to let one employee go. Do they not understand that a popular talk show host could bring them many more advertisers which would lead to increased revenue?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sincerely, One of your" West Columbus" (Alabama) readers

Starting from the top: I have nothing against the Fort Mitchell National Cemetery [12 Jan]. But by comparison, Fort Benning has much more than a cemetery. It has thousands of soldiers and a nice PX. Fort Mitchell has a scenic back-door entrance to Benning - but when I drove there recently, I didn't even see a Spectrum store.

It would be interesting to know all the civilians who made the "pass list" for lunch with President Bush. News reporters from places large and small were there -- but alas, your blog was not invited. Maybe if I added links to Fox News and the Drudge Report....

This reader may not realize "grace periods" such as 60 days for landfill payments are commonplace in the business world. I've dealt with it in my online ventures - where if you're impatient with a customer, you may wind up without one.

(Hasn't this reader heard the commercials where stores offer "90 days, same as cash?" I've actually thought about going to these stores, and trying to buy something with three calendar pages.)

As for Doug Kellett: that "endorsement" quote we post from time to time admittedly is several months old. Since he's no longer on WRCG, he may not read this blog anymore. Or then again, he may be using our jokes on other radio stations - knowing we can't tune them in.

If Doug Kellett really WAS popular, WRCG wouldn't have abandoned him last year in less than six months. I'm told "TalkLine" had much better ratings than his afternoon talk show. Of course, my source for that information is Robbie Watson - and we all know how unbiased she is....

The thought occurred over the weekend that with WRCG's continuing signal problems, maybe it should copy other "talk radio" stations and simulcast its signal on FM. But Archway Broadcasting has three successful FM stations now, so which one would have to change? Should they swap "Bob and Sheri" for Robbie and Harry?

If all that is not enough to ponder on a holiday weekend, here's some more from the weekend....

+ The high temperature in Columbus reached 74 degrees F., just below the record set in 1950. This was before I was born - so did anyone at Auburn University complain about global warming way back then?

+ WYBU TV-16's "Public Agenda" featured two Columbus natives who appear in the new movie, "Stomp the Yard." I admittedly don't go to movies much anymore - but I'm amazed garden clubs and landscapers haven't raised objections to this film.

+ Atmore, Alabama police reported a man was shot in an argument -- an argument about the height of the late singer James Brown. Maybe if Brown had rejected the nickname "Godfather of Soul," we wouldn't have had violence like this.

+ The Columbus State University cheerleading team did well at a national meet in Orlando. The "small co-ed" team finished second in the nation. The "large co-ed" team finished third. But I'm not sure how much weight the large team has to lose, to be considered small.

+ South Carolina embarrassed Alabama in women's basketball 95-35. Does Nick Saban REALLY have to make recruiting trips over the next three weeks?

+ Instant Message to Burger King: Maybe this is a personal subject, but I'm going to ask anyway. Why are the men in the Whopper household shaped like burgers, while the women look like ordinary people? Has anyone done genetic research into this?

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3188 (- 102, 3.1%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Sunday, January 14, 2007

14 JAN 07: LET'S GET GROWING

Today's title is borrowed from an old television and radio gardening show in Kansas City. We're applying it to Columbus, because a new report shows this area is in for strong economic growth in the next few years. The faster Mayor Wetherington decides the city budget needs a sales tax increase, the better....

The economic outlook comes from experts at the University of Georgia. They came to town Friday, and predicted the Columbus area will grow strongly over the next two years. The Fraternal Order of Police is wondering if the UGA group also brought an updated pay plan.

While the University of Georgia economists expect moderate growth nationwide this year and next, they believe Columbus will top that. The growth should be SO dramatic that.... well, have you seen all the trees budding around town this month?

If you follow the news at all, you can probably guess what will fuel the strong economic expansion in Columbus. There's Fort Benning and BRAC, the growth at Aflac, and the Kia plant's.... uh.... hey, Mr. Kia Executive! Come up with a car name which rhymes with BRAC and Aflac.

Put the big three projects together, and the University of Georgia projects 15,000 new jobs for the Columbus area in coming years. Let's all hope the local mills time their layoffs properly....

The University of Georgia experts say the troop shifts to Fort Benning will mean more than two billion dollars in new construction on post, and millions more off-post. You already can see signs of this -- although for some odd reason, they're building a Waffle House in Ladonia and NOT on Victory Drive.

One growth area you might not expect is in "hospitality." The University of Georgia experts say it will increase 25 percent in Columbus in the next few years -- so if you tried and failed to rent out your house for the 1996 Olympics, another chance could be coming.

Economists also note an interesting reversal of population trends. Retired people are moving to Georgia and Alabama, instead of going all the way to Florida. They can spot the effects of global warming as well as anybody....

In fact, the Eufaula Tribune had a story several months ago about fed-up Floridians moving to the Lake Eufaula area to escape hurricanes. How many of them called the Chamber of Commerce to complain, after a tornado hit Barbour County homes last week?

Mike Gaymon of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce says it was good to hear University of Georgia experts confirm what his office has been projecting. But I know there are still skeptics, who doubt the area will grow as much as projected -- and many of them probably will complain, when the roads in their neighborhoods suddenly become overcrowded.

Given this good economic news, it was no surprise that WRBL's Saturday night news showed an "opportunity fair" by the Society of Women Entrepreneurs. The goal was to prepare female business owners for all the coming growth. For instance: order plenty of items in khaki green for the Fort Benning families....

E-MAIL UPDATE: It's now official - we have a new correspondent in Hurtsboro, and he's writing us again:

Richard:

Sorry that you had to take extreme measures to obtain a copy of the "Citizen" [8 Jan] - but I'm glad you did! Look at it this way - it was much easier than a bumper push from "Hurt"sboro, and a better bargain to boot!

I've got a thought to run by you. There's a lot of conversation these days about discomfort and cruelty.in every aspect of modern day life - let me give an example.

If an individual goes fishing and lands a big fish; the Outdoor journals headline the acheivment, and PETA condemns it! What about the poor worm? Through no fault of its own it's caught between a rock and a hard place! If a fish doesn't swallow it, it's dumped along the shore for disposal by the birds.

The parable applies equally well to Journalists and "Whistle Blowers." If you tell it "like it is," your bound to make someone unhappy! I'm just a rookie at this "justice" business - but I've discovered that the process of going from the bottom up - stalls along the way. The process of going from the top down, never gets started. And, only a mixture of the two will sometimes succeed.

I giot my ears "boxed" today - for going over someone's head. They got the impression I was looking over their shoulder (I was) and they didn't like it! My patience had worn thin. I had waited almost two years on this particular matter; and I will not wait much longer to see it corrected!

I stuck my nose into this "slop" jar of my own volition - I expect to get some bumps and bruises along the way, and only time will determine the outcome. In the meantime, I'm going to arbitrate a cause for the worms.

Constable R.J. Schweiger

The Constable's parable has a flaw or two. For one thing, plenty of people fish with plastic bait these days - even though I haven't heard People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals stick up for earthworms.

So why can't a Russell County Constable look over someone's shoulder? The new mayor of Columbus has promised to do it, when necessary -- but then again, Jim Wetherington is the man in charge. Based on what I've heard and read about Hurtsboro, I'm not sure a constable is in charge of anything there.

Yes, patience is a virtue when it comes to resolving government problems. Remember, the Republicans waited more than five years before they impeached President Clinton.

We have one more e-mail -- and it's about the current President, who visited Fort Benning this past week:

The Atlanta Journal ,Fri paper,quoted Gen Wojdakowski as having told his troops they were not to talk about the Pres.speech...They are out putting their lives on the line to protect our Constitutional rights and yet they don't even have First Amendment rights...Where is the ACLU?

Rights? Do you really think soldiers have first amendment rights? This reminds me of a story my Pastor tells, of a teenager who became fed up with his parents' rules and orders at home - so he decided to get even with them. He ran off and joined the Marines....

I thought I saw a few Fort Benning soldiers on TV Thursday night, talking about the President's visit. But then, talking about his visit is different from talking about his speech -- and you don't dare criticize the Commander-in-Chief for being unable to pronounce "nuclear."

By the way, did you hear Mayor Jim Wetherington talk about what happened when he shook hands with President Bush? The "Big Chief" told WRBL the President said: "Me and Sanford [Bishop] have been talking about you." So what did they say? Do they think the mayor needs to loosen up, too?

The new mayor finds a place in other holiday weekend news....

+ The annual Martin Luther King Junior "Parade of Excellence" rolled through downtown Columbus and Phenix City. Mayor Jim Wetherington took part, saying, "I want to represent all the people of Columbus, Georgia." Someone needs to remind the new mayor he doesn't need to campaign anymore.

+ Tickets went on sale at the RiverCenter for a Taylor Hicks concert February 28. I assume Mayor Wetherington will be at this event, too - since he'd support anything involving a patrol, even if it's a "Soul Patrol."

+ The Columbus Symphony Orchestra staged a concert with the percussion group "Chix With Stix." I saw this name on a billboard, and thought it was a new item on the menu at Krystal.

+ The "Real Time" telecast on NBC-38 found Cascade Hills Church Pastor Bill Purvis interviewing and recommending a cardiologist -- in the middle of a sermon. I thought only the small-budget churches on AM radio did that, with sponsorships from beauty parlors and funeral homes.

+ The Columbus Civic Center hosted two nights of Pro Bull Riding. Or as they might call it on prime-time television - "Dancing With the Steers."

(I jogged by the ~~Cow Palace~~ Civic Center Friday afternoon, and could tell the PBR Tour had arrived. The smell gave it away - but thankfully, no waves of flies did.)

+ Georgia Tech head football coach Chan Gailey interviewed with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Somehow, I don't think this is the right fit for him. Someone named "Gailey" would sound more appropriate in Miami than in Pittsburgh.

+ Instant Message to the Auburn Kroger store: You're kidding, right? I mean, selling Easter candy in mid-January - a month before Valentine's Day?! I know we've had a mild winter, but really....

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.99 a gallon at Summit on U.S. 280 in south Opelika.... Parisian quitting-business discounts now at 40 to 60 percent.... and the Columbus Civic Center might be in the market for air freshener....

COMING MONDAY: Are we marking the wrong civil rights activist's birthday?....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:42 AM

Friday, January 12, 2007

12 JAN 07: TANKS FOR NOTHING?

Two big meetings in the Columbus area Thursday appeared different, but actually had some things in comment. Both involved top leaders with controversial ideas. Both had plenty of critics, accusing the leaders of making big mistakes. And both had "Forts" - although I think most people respect Fort Benning much more than Fort Mitchell.

Fort Benning was the focus of President Bush, during a five-hour visit Thursday. He tried to encourage Third Brigade soldiers for their upcoming mission in Iraq - but couldn't exactly come out and tell them directly they're going early, in March. That's the way to make the Sergeants do the dirty work.

A deployment schedule was posted on the Defense Department's web site, indicating the Third Brigade will be deployed in Iraq in March. But this may not be all bad. Soldiers can arrive just in time to celebrate the fourth anniversary of their invasion.

President Bush arrived at Fort Benning during the lunch hour, and he sat down to eat with soldiers in Freedom Hall. But then suddenly, the White House staff ordered TV cameras be turned off - because they don't want video shown of the President eating. Why not?! We already know there's a family history, against eating broccoli....

(But then again, remember when the President's father became ill at a state dinner in Japan? This may be a clever White House strategy against "The Daily Show" and David Letterman.)

The TV cameras came back on when President Bush spoke to the audience at Freedom Hall. Did you notice the man with glasses in a suit and tie, sitting with soldiers behind the President? It was Muscogee County Republican Party leader Rob Doll - as if Fort Benning soldiers are driving Nissan Sentras, instead of Humvees.

I'm told other noteworthy, non-military people from Columbus were at Fort Benning for lunch with the President:

+ Former Mayor Bob Poydasheff - making full use of his veterans' benefit.

+ Police Chief Ricky Boren - picking a curious time to recruit new officers.

+ Chamber of Commerce President Mike Gaymon - perhaps trying to encourage military spouses to get autographs of the President, then open collectors' shops.

The President focused in his speech on the upcoming buildup of U.S. military personnel in Iraq. He admitted events in 2006 did not turn out as he anticipated - and I don't think he was talking about the Congressional election there.

President Bush declared the military buildup he's ordering in Iraq is based on advice from top officers, instead of "focus groups." But couldn't a meeting of generals be called a focus group -- especially if they're all focused on saluting the Commander-in-Chief?

The President repeated a joke he made in Tuskegee last year, when he told the mayors of Columbus and Phenix City: "Fill the potholes." Only then he added, "I'm not suggesting there are any" - apparently because he doesn't want a repeat of Tuskegee Mayor Johnny Ford asking for federal highway money.

After lunch, the President watched a demonstration of Fort Benning's infantry in action. It included a jump by Silver Wings paratroopers -- graphically illustrating what's happened to Mr. Bush's popularity in the last year or so.

After a private meeting with the families of fallen soldiers, President Bush shook hands and posed for pictures with Fort Benning troops before flying back to Washington. Several soldiers noted it was a "once in a lifetime opportunity" -- specially since they're not likely to have $5,000 to donate for the privilege anytime soon.

About 35 protesters gathered outside the Fort Benning gates before President Bush arrived. Columbus Police told them to move, because they didn't have a permit to demonstrate. Catholic Priest Roy Bourgeois could make extra money, helping these picketers as a consultant.

The demonstrators actually had permission to picket at Fort Benning Road and Victory Drive, and that's what they did. Some of them carried signs declaring President Bush a liar - as if there are politicians in this country who are NOT?!?!

Someone pointed out to me the Georgia Peace and Justice Coalition could only get 35 people together outside Fort Benning, while S.O.A. Watch draws protesters by the thousands. That's true - but Thursday's protesters only had three days, to organize after Mr. Bush's visit was announced. It's hard to criticize the President, when you have trouble getting off work.

The protesters apparently were not the only ones who were denied access to Fort Benning. I'm told a news crew from Atlanta's WSB-TV was barred from entering, because its satellite truck had an expired license plate. If the soldiers have to pass inspection, it's only fair that the journalists interviewing them do.

After Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin met the President at Fort Benning, he went back home for an evening meeting about combining water service with Fort Mitchell and Russell County. That meeting attracted about 100 people, most of them against it - which may show how much our area still supports its soldiers.

Did you see WRBL's coverage of the Phenix City public hearing? Who was the alleged genius who brought a bottle of Deer Park water to a meeting on the local water service -- and put it on the counter, where the City Council normally sits? There's political correctness, but then there's simple logical common sense.

Most of the people at Thursday night's hearing opposed a merger of Phenix City's water service with Russell County and Fort Mitchell. It's as if the critics think the Russell County water system is run by school teachers....

Some opponents of the water merger fear the result will be higher water bills. But Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin said that will NOT be the case, because the city will have millions of dollars to retire old debts. He'd better be right - or else the crowd at the meeting will retire their old mayor.

But Mayor Jeff Hardin admitted for the first time a water consolidation could cost some Phenix City Water Works employees their jobs. It's only fitting that the truth is coming one drip at a time, isn't it?

More public hearings are planned in the weeks ahead, and the Phenix City Council is unlikely to vote on a water consolidation before the spring. So there's plenty of time for creative protesters to make water balloons, paste the mayor's face on them, and stick needles in them outside City Hall.

Amidst all of this, some other news occurred Thursday as well:

+ Phenix City Police reported nearly every home in an unfinished new subdivision had its copper wiring stolen the other night. I'm starting to wonder if burglars will break into homes to steal jars of pennies, instead of electronic gear.

+ Muscogee County State Senator Seth Harp endorsed a bill allowing local votes on Sunday alcohol sales. Harp explained to lawmakers he's for the "separation of church and state" - so he must attend a church which only serves grape juice during communion.

+ The Columbus Civic Center floor was covered with dirt. A weekend of Pro Bull Riding begins tonight. The "monster trucks" appear next weekend. And sometime in between, Callaway Gardens should hold a flower show.

+ Instant Message to Bill Heard Chevrolet: About that "distressed merchandise sale" you're having - I think the cars would be a lot less distressed, if "Madman Dan" wasn't yelling around them so much.

COMING SOON: How e-mail will look 30 years from now.... yes, we have a preview of it....

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-- posted by Richard at 1:20 AM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

11 JAN 07: ENTER STAGE LEFT?

Finally it makes sense! Now I understand why the annual report from Cascade Hills Church shows it hosts all sorts of Northside High School events. It's NOT really because 90 percent of the student body is Baptist....

I didn't realize until Wednesday that when Northside High School was built five years ago, one key part was left out. It doesn't have an auditorium -- which should shut up some of the Columbus South parents. You see, students in the other side of town actually are disadvantaged.

I picked up a Cascade Hills report a couple of years ago, which showed the church hosted several Northside High School activities. A dinner theatre was held there. National Honor Society members were inducted there. Even Northside's "Career Day" was held there - although I'm not sure if Cascade Hills would have been in trouble if it promoted a career in the ministry.

Those Northside High School events and others were moved to Cascade Hills Church because the school lacks an auditorium. Apparently the building plans didn't even include a stage in the gymnasium -- which is amazing, because the University of Georgia even remembered to put one in its gym.

The online "school profile" for Northside High shows it has 583 computers. It doesn't mention the lack of an auditorium - but you'd think the students taking special architecture courses could draw up plenty of potential blueprints.

An auditorium at Northside High School apparently cost too much five years ago. The Muscogee County School District is considering whether to build one now -- and it would cost an estimated six million dollars. Of course, the district could hire two new head football coaches with that money....

The use of Cascade Hills Church by Northside High does more than raise intriguing church-state questions. It indicates an obvious effort to avoid Brookstone School, which is even closer to Northside. Don't Brookstone parents pay property taxes, which fund public education? Renting Brookstone facilities would be like the economic circle of life.

The Muscogee County School Board is looking at other potential construction projects. One involves renovating the old Baker Middle School. That would cost only about $200,000 - so maybe the southside parents can gripe after all, about work being done on the cheap.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Two Wednesday items inspired a reader to comment:

To the person who said you were writing too much about the local news lady leaving..Well,it is your blog..I think you can write what you want....

Perhaps the Ga legislator who wants an investigation of the Augusta facility should look into our landfill problem..Some one needs to be accountable,even if is the businesses who knew they owed the money..We know nothing is going to be done to the people or person with the local gov't..Is not shredding gov't papers a criminal offense?..If I committ a criminal offense while on the job and I change jobs or retire am I not going to be prosecuted? I think it should at the bottom and move up the chain of command..If it happened under your watch you are responsible..

Now hold on here! How do we "know" nothing is going to be done to city employees over "landfill-gate?" The District Attorney may have learned something from the Kenneth Walker case -- and maybe this time, he won't leave it in the hands of somebody from Albany.

I'm not really sure if shredding government documents is a "criminal offense" or not. If the Government Center has paper shredders, they must be there for a reason -- and it can't be for handling the City Manager's hate mail.

Investigations such as the landfill fee-asco tend to go as the e-mailer suggests. They start at the bottom, then move up the chain of command - and sooner or later, only the big fish is left without a plea bargain.

(Some people in this country are naive about this, and think the top-level officials should be prosecuted first. But enough about the talk of impeaching President Bush....)

Now for other whispers from a wintry Wednesday:

+ The Associated Press reported Third Brigade soldiers from Fort Benning will be sent to Iraq sooner than planned. This may not be a bad thing. They'll go to Baghdad early - and once Democrats start showing their clout in Congress, they'll be pulled out and decommissioned early.

+ City Planning Director Rick Jones announced a public-private agreement to build an access road through the Bunker Hill neighborhood, connecting St. Mary's Road to Old Cusseta Road. Apparently Northstar Drive north to Steam Mill Road isn't a good enough escape route - and residents haven't figured out how to get through the winding roads they have already.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue presented his "State of the State" address. One of his goals for this year is a tourism program called "Go Fish Georgia." That's the way to stay ahead of the trend! Gin rummy must be the next poker....

(Governor Perdue told lawmakers if Georgia was an independent country, it would have the 17^th-largest economy in the world. And with oil imports increasing the "national" trade deficit, the poverty rate might be even higher.)

+ Alabama House Republican leader Mike Hubbard of Auburn complained he's been removed from a state budget committee for political reasons. He ought to be thankful - because now he can devote all his time to Republican news releases and planning inaugurations.

+ Instant Message to Freeway Auto Credit on Manchester Expressway: Are things really THAT bad? When you put a six-line disclaimer about Freeway Ford below your main sign, that seems pretty bad....

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: We'll watch two big events.... one at Fort Benning, the other in Phenix City....

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-- posted by Richard at 12:02 AM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

10 JAN 07: OPEN MIKE DAY

Mike Gaymon must have declared Tuesday his "day of living dangerously." He made some curious comments on radio. He tried a new idea in Columbus business meetings. And in the evening, he may have done something really daring - and driven from Columbus to Phenix City.

Mike Gaymon is the President of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce - and he's also the host of the weekly WDAK radio talk show "Viewpoint." Tuesday was talk show day, and he began the program with a very strange reference to a Georgia murder case. It was almost like Gaymon had a "Rush Limbaugh moment...."

Mike Gaymon told the WDAK "Morning Show" team he'd found a new use for antifreeze -- then brought up a woman accused of poisoning her husband with the stuff. It seemed like he was trying to joke about the case. But the way he dropped the topic, it seemed like his co-hosts were nodding their heads "NO" vigorously.

If this wasn't strange enough, Mike Gaymon made this comment while St. Luke United Methodist Church Pastor Hal Brady was in the studio! Brady was the guest of the morning on "Viewpoint." If Gaymon had a guest from Striffler-Hamby Mortuary, I might understand what he said....

Pastor Hal Brady was a different sort of guest for "Viewpoint," because Mike Gaymon usually interviews politicians or business leaders. In fact, I tuned in Tuesday simply to see if Gaymon might have Bob Poydasheff on again - for his exclusive first interview as an ex-mayor.

During his chat with Hal Brady, Mike Gaymon revealed he's a "P.K." This must have puzzled most WDAK listeners for a moment - who thought the initials meant place-kicker, instead of "preacher's kid."

After Viewpoint was over, Mike Gaymon went to the RiverCenter. He presided over the "annual meeting" of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber actually has meetings and events all year long - but I think this is the one where everyone officially approves him by acclamation.

For decades, the Columbus Chamber of Commerce has held its annual meeting in the evening with a nice banquet. This year, the meeting was moved to Bill Heard Hall at the RiverCenter -- where you can't even take a cup of water inside, to throw at a snobby opera diva.

The Chamber of Commerce annual meeting was moved from the Trade Center to the RiverCenter to make it more accessible to members. An evening banquet would have cost about 60 dollars. Mike Gaymon said the meeting in a theater was free, so there you.... hey, hold it! If small business members have to close doors to attend the meeting, isn't it costing them money in lost sales?

Mike Gaymon explained it's better for the Columbus Chamber of Commerce to conduct meetings more like corporate stockholder meetings. Of course it is - because people who vote "no" are more easily seen, when they're not hiding at a round table behind a big vase full of flowers.

Some traditions have not changed for the Columbus Chamber of Commerce. The annual "Jim Woodruff Jr. Award" was given to retired Synovus chairman Jim Blanchard. You have to say he was a visionary - because the Synovus sign remains the most visible advertisement along the Riverwalk.

BLOG UPDATE: Tuesday also was a big day for Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington, as he presided over his first Columbus Council meeting. Wetherington admitted to WRBL he forgot a few times to push buttons which turn on microphones. Wait until he realizes that's one of the biggest areas of power he really has.

Columbus Council gave Evelyn Turner Pugh the title of Mayor Pro-Tem. Jim Wetherington called Pugh the "most knowledgeable member" of the Council. Yet with her background in banking, she somehow didn't realize something didn't add up at the landfill?!

"Landfill-gate" was a big issue again Tuesday. Councilors suggested new rules, to put late fees on companies more than 60 days behind in paying landfill fees. The Mayor and City Manager wanted to allow 90 to 120 days of grace -- but the Council apparently wants to show it's tougher than the ex-Police Chief.

City Manager Isaiah Hugley said he'll reveal next week which companies are more than 60 days behind in paying landfill fees. Reporters might be able to find out sooner than that. Stop everyone entering the Government Center wearing sunglasses - because they might be trying to hide their identities, as they pay up.

E-MAIL UPDATE: A "POP3 User" (we usually only drink one at a time) sent us this Tuesday:

This is the 1st time I've been to the Columbus blog, its very good I will be back , but to much info on Jade Hindman, letys do more info on the hard poor working stiffs in the Chattahoochee Valley who don't make the Big money

Thank you for the nice words, and the constructive criticism. If any poor working stiffs want to invite me to their farewell parties, I'll be glad to come by and share in your saltine crackers and Hawaiian Punch.

You might even find some hard poor working stiffs embedded in our wrap-up of other Tuesday news:

+ Chattahoochee County commissioners confirmed to WXTX "News at Ten" they've dropped plans to establish a police department. Uh-huh. Yeah, right. That's what they say now -- before the meth dealers show up, and the undercover operation begins.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer updated the "Stocking Strangler" murder appeal with the big headline: "HEARING ON GARY'S TEETH." I saw this, and wondered which local dentist was being sued.

+ The evening news interviewed a "graduation coach" at Jordan High School - a woman named Jimmie Johnson. You'd think all she has to do is borrow quotes from that OTHER coach Jimmy Johnson. He won a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys, after all....

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue called for higher fines for excessive and habitual speeders. The Governor confessed he's a speeder himself - perhaps hurrying to as many land sale closings as he can.

(Governor Perdue said he wants the money from higher speeding fines allocated to trauma centers. Huh - you mean the state won't offer grant money to improve Atlanta Motor Speedway?)

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths crushed Jacksonville on the road 7-2, with assistant Tyler Keller coaching behind the bench. Head coach Jerome Bechard was somewhere else in the Jacksonville Coliseum -- either taking notes for future games, or hiding from an arrest warrant on an old battery charge.

+ New Alabama football coach Nick Saban was introduced to the crowd at a Tuscaloosa basketball game - and the Crimson Tide went on to beat his old school Louisiana State, 71-61. As much money as they're paying Saban, he should inspire as many teams to victory as he can.

(I figured an important matchup in this game would be between Alabama's Alonzo Gee and L.S.U.'s Tack Minor. Any musician would tell you there's nothing quite like a Gee-Minor key.)

+ A Georgia House member called for an audit of the state's Golf Hall of Fame in Augusta, claiming $13 million in state money is missing. Step one: drag the lakes. Step two: rake the sand traps....

+ Instant Message to the man I saw pedaling a bicycle down the middle of South Lumpkin Road, in the center turn lane: There's an old Archie Campbell joke along those lines - only the children in his neighborhood thought he actually might be dumb enough to do that.

This blog had more than 28,000 visits in 2006, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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-- posted by Richard at 12:01 AM

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

9 JAN 07: RUNDOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE?

If you missed our appearance on WLTZ's "Rise N Shine" Monday morning, we talked about several things. One caller tried to complain to me about a newspaper delivery man driving by at 5:00 a.m. playing loud rap music. Hey, look on the bright side - you might not need an alarm clock anymore.

The hottest topic on Rise N Shine was something I never expected - a few secluded blocks along the Chattahoochee River. People in the Bibb City neighborhood don't want to claim them. Other people say something should be done about them. And if the blocks were in Phenix City, officials probably would have bought them out by now for high-rise condos.

You'll find this area by taking a drive down First Avenue to either Riverside Drive or 27^th Street, then turning toward the Chattahoochee. I made this drive Monday, after hearing callers talk about it - and I promise, you won't slide into the river if your brakes fail.

(The current map in the BellSouth Yellow Pages shows a "McLihenney Elementary School" not far from this area. Maybe AT&T needs to bring in that new way of doing business....)

A caller to Rise N Shine said she took visitors to Riverside Drive recently to show off the Riverwalk, and was appalled by the houses she saw there. She wondered how anyone possibly could live under those conditions. I concluded more Columbus residents live that way than she realizes -- and people need to leave Green Island Hills more often.

Even before you turn off First Avenue, there's a house which clearly has seen better days. Perhaps this is one of the places described by callers as a makeshift shelter for homeless people. It certainly looks like the pile of junk in the backyard has been mined by every antique mall in town.

I turned west at Riverside Drive, and was greeted to my right by a "BAD DOG" sign. I didn't take a picture of the big dog standing on the other side of the fence -- because it might accuse me of drive-by shooting.

Instead, I snapped a picture of homes on the left side of Riverside Drive - houses presumably with a back porch overlooking the river. They looked old to me, but NOT necessarily rundown eyesores. Maybe the residents don't want visitors to think about how valuable their properties really are.

We exited Riverside Drive by driving up 27^th Street. The houses appear old and small, but tight spacing should be expected in an older neighborhood such as that. Many cities have streets which look like that - and actually might be considered "historic district" material. Those law offices and art galleries on Broadway simply are spoiled.

(There actually was a rental car parked along 27^th Street, outside one of the houses. And it didn't look like it was rented by some land developer from metro Atlanta - since a paper tag clearly was visible, inviting thieves.)

The initial caller to Rise N Shine wondered what could be done to clean up this neighborhood. Then someone else called to report Columbus city government is NOT allowing new permits in that part of town. So at least the Baker Village residents aren't likely to move there....

I suppose the owners of the homes around Riverside Drive could be reported to Environmental Court. But from what I saw Monday, not many of the old houses really looked dilapidated. I wouldn't be afraid to live there - as long as that "bad dog" was keeping all the criminals out.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We apparently need to clarify one of our notes from Sunday....

Are you serious? The Veterans Parkway Winn Dixie is closing? Oh no..my favorite store on that side of town..

No no no! I did NOT say that supermarket definitely is closing. The line about "guessing the date" when it will close was the punch line. Perhaps packing too much of a punch, in this case....

My point was that the opening of a Sam's Club and a Wal-Mart SuperCenter near Columbus Park Crossing over the next two weeks is supposed to kill all the businesses around it. At least, that's what some critics in Midland say - which makes you wonder why Kohl's even bothered to open a store.

But consider what's happened in Phenix City in recent years. A Winn-Dixie, a FoodMax and a Save-a-Lot all closed on the 280 Bypass once a Wal-Mart SuperCenter opened. Two of those storefronts remain empty - and the Phenix City Police are making sure the former Club Roc doesn't sell beer and wine, even on Sunday afternoons.

So while we watch for the "quitting business" signs to be trucked over from Parisian, let's check other musings from a busy Monday:

+ White House officials announced President Bush will visit Fort Benning Thursday, hours after his big televised speech on Iraq. If a fleet of cargo jets arrives during the day Wednesday, I guess we'll know which direction he's taking....

(Mayor Jim Wetherington told WRBL he has NOT been invited yet to the President's speech at Fort Benning. In fact, he had to give the White House staff his Social Security number for screening! And you STILL think the mayoral race was non-partisan?)

+ In a pre-emptive strike, Katie Couric brought the CBS Evening News to Fort Stewart. Couric seemed surprised when Third Infantry Division Commander Rick Lynch said his soldiers will use the best equipment available. What did she expect - shotguns bought from an Army-Navy Surplus Store?

+ Falcon's Tattoos owner Fred Sibary told the evening news he had to move his shop to Veterans Parkway, because Columbus city zoning no longer allows new tattoo parlors on Broadway. Why was this change made? Tattoo needles are a great crime prevention tool....

+ Students spent their first day at the new downtown "Riverpark" campus of Columbus State University. One student said she felt like she was in Chicago or Boston, not Columbus. So when is C.S.U. starting an ice hockey team?

+ Sonny Perdue was sworn in for a second term as Georgia's Governor. He said he had a "2020 vision" for the state's future, with smaller classes in schools and college students receiving the HOPE Scholarship - at colleges where they may mass together in larger classes, then party non-stop all weekend.

(Governor Perdue made a point of taking the oath of office on a Bible opened to Joshua 24:15. Some Republicans may have longed for him to quote verse 20 - which says if you serve strange gods, the Lord will "do you hurt and consume you.")

+ In perhaps the most stunning note of the new Georgia legislative session, Gerald Bryant announced he's retiring from GPB's "Lawmakers" for health reasons. Bryant anchored the program 22 years - long enough to see Zell Miller zig and zag an estimated 50 times.

+ Aides to Alabama Congressman Artur Davis said he will NOT challenge Jeff Sessions for the U.S. Senate next year. Instead, Davis plans to run for statewide office in 2010 - once more people can figure out who he is.

+ Bobby Petrino was introduced as the new head coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This move from the University of Louisville has several advantages. For one thing, Auburn trustee Bobby Lowder won't have to fly for Petrino's next job interview.

(Bobby Petrino will earn about $4.8 million a year as the Falcons' head coach. I think he should celebrate by going to a top-dollar restaurant, and give Nick Saban a thank-you dinner.)

+ Meanwhile, Georgia Tech head coach Chan Gailey admitted he's been interviewed for the top job with the N.F.L. Miami Dolphins. This is getting confusing! Where is Jim Mora Jr. going to coach -- Georgia Tech or Louisville?

+ Instant Message to Florida head football coach Urban Meyer: Who called to congratulate you first? President Bush, to continue a tradition -- or Tommy Tuberville, for proving his point?

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-- posted by Richard at 12:01 AM

Monday, January 08, 2007

8 JAN 07: McVAY IN THE WAY

Sunday marked a first for me -- as I bought a copy of the Phenix Citizen-News. I did this because the Columbus Public Library still had the prior week's edition on display. That's my custom, you know -- drive a little, save 50 cents.

I had to buy the latest Phenix Citizen-News, because of a recent e-mail:

Richard:

Don't know if you noticed - but the Phenix Citizen just headlined what I've been talking about! This is just the tip of the iceberg. Believe me, there's a lot more to come.

Just like kiss - the first one is the hardest to get!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

Oh dear - the Constable's trying to clean up part of Russell County, and he has to bring up my single status....

Indeed, the top story in the Phenix Citizen-News deals with Constable Bob Schweiger's biggest concern. A Hurtsboro City Council member has been found in violation of Alabama ethics laws. The decision was made a month ago in Montgomery -- but sometimes things can get lost in the mail, during the holiday rush.

Hurtsboro City Council member Mae Dell McVay was found in violation of ethics laws, because surplus city vehicles were sold to her husband and her son last year for $100 per car. Only 100 dollars?! If I had known this, I might have bumper-pushed a car 28 miles back home myself.

The 100-dollar deal was approved by the Hurtsboro City Council after it turned down an offer of 300 dollars a car several months before. Let's hope the council members are NOT submitted by their relatives for "Deal or No Deal."

Russell County prosecutors apparently decided the 100-dollar sale to Mae Dell McVay's family was OK - but McVay had a conflict of interest, and should not have voted to approve it. Hurtsboro is in serious trouble, if adults aren't abstaining like they used to.

The matter of Mae Dell McVay now will go to a Russell County grand jury -- but a prosecutor told the Phenix Citizen-News that won't happen until April. Who knows what could happen by then? The surplus vehicles might break down for good, and the case will be moot.

The Phenix Citizen-News article did NOT say who brought the complaint against Mae Dell McVay. Constable Bob Schweiger's e-mail doesn't say if he did it, or someone else did. But one thing is clear - the Hurtsboro complainer might want to give Paul Olson in Columbus some pointers.

You may recall Constable Bob Schweiger sent another e-mail last week, naming two alleged "criminals" on the Hurtsboro City Council [4 Jan]. Mae Dell McVay was NOT one of them - so now I'm wondering if the "armed gang" in this town of around 600 people might be holding elected office.

We were planning to call these alleged Hurtsboro criminals Sunday night for a comment, before naming them here -- but then Calvin Floyd called from NBC-38, inviting us to return to "Rise N Shine" Monday morning. That meant an early bedtime, since this blogger needs all the "beauty sleep" he can get. Besides, I missed the station makeup artist in November.

So before we hit the proverbial hay, here's a quick check at other news from the weekend:

+ A strong line of thunderstorms moved through the Columbus area, leading to several tornado warnings north of the city. If we're having spring storms in January, does this mean I can put my snow shovel back in the closet for another year?

+ A "wedding extravaganza" was staged at the Columbus Trade Center, showing off all kinds of ideas for prospective brides and grooms. If I had known this was coming, I might have rented a booth - and made a giant "pick me" sign.

+ Cascade Hills Church held the first weekend of what it calls 35 new "real life" Bible study groups. They have 35 of them?! Some congregations I know do well to have two - children and adults.

+ Callaway Gardens announced it will start offering discounted entry fees to hybrid vehicles. If they're going to do this, the gardens should avoid any trace of hypocrisy -- and reveal how many of its flowers and plants are hybrids.

+ ESPN Radio reported the Atlanta Falcons are "very close" to naming a new head coach. If they can find a coach in one week while the University of Alabama takes more than five, the standard must be a lot lower.

+ Instant Message to the Chattahoochee Valley Community College library: Before the spring semester starts, could you please find time to update the "hours" section of your web site? It's not 2003 anymore....

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-- posted by Richard at 4:34 AM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

7 JAN 07: JADE, GREENS AND GREENVILLE

Instant Message to the Talbot County Commission: The coast is clear now. You can go back to your usual ways of governing. The TV reporter who kept you honest for a couple of years has left the area.

Jade Hindmon is the second TV reporter in two weeks to leave Columbus. Friends and co-workers held a farewell party for her this weekend at the Meritage Café complex - and with a couple of different businesses open at different times of day, it certainly CAN be complex.

We'll get back to the Meritage, but we start with the party. Jade Hindmon is moving to a Fox station in Greenville, South Carolina. She told friends at the party it's about a four-hour drive from Columbus to Greenville. I've made this drive, so her comment told me two things - she speeds, and she's never been caught in an Atlanta traffic jam.

It's not unusual for Columbus TV reporters to move to Greenville, South Carolina. Staci Walker went to a Greenville station around 2000. And Katie Crecente left WRBL in the late 1990's for a public relations job in Greenville. I remember her well because she was amazingly pretty - and she illustrated a hurricane one evening at a "weather wall" wearing a raincoat and hat. [True!]

Jade Hindmon especially will be remembered for all the problems she exposed in Talbot County. The worst probably was the rundown recreation center, complete with what one county commissioner called on-camera "ugly poo-poo pots." [16 Jul 06] Some politicians talk more "down and dirty" than you might think....

Whatever happened to that Talbot County recreation center, which was locked up for renovations for months? Jade Hindmon told me it's now open again, but county commissioners won't let her see the improvements. I'm guessing we might see them on television days before the 2008 primary.

The farewell for Jade Hindmon marked our first trip to the "Meritage" area on 13^th Street since Miriam (now Eve) Tidwell sold it a few years ago. The "café and gallery" was closed, as it's only open for breakfast and lunch. For such a nice-looking place to keep the hours of a Myrtle Beach waffle shop puzzles me....

(Please note we're not calling the Meritage Café and Gallery a "restaurant." Ms. Tidwell wrote an e-mail to us a few years ago objecting to such a label, even though Miriam's was listed under "restaurants" in the Yellow Pages. Meritage isn't listed there now -- and it's not listed under "art galleries," either.)

So the Jade Hindmon farewell event occurred next door, at "Tapatinis at Meritage Café." I can't really call that a restaurant, either. When the menu lists one page of food options and more than one page of martinis, I don't consider that a restaurant.

Besides, someone at the event commented the "wine list" at Tapatinis is more "like a journal." It covered several pages - and while I didn't look at it, it seemed to have more choices than Bill Heard's used car lot.

But I had shown up at this event for dinner, so I reviewed the Tapatinis food list. It's on the elegant side -- not only from the items listed, but by the fact that it has no dollar signs on the prices.

The best choice for me seemed to be honey barbecued Atlantic salmon. It came with "twice-baked potato salad" - which was new to me, because most people I know don't even bake the potato salad at picnics once.

But the other item with the salmon really puzzled me. "What are hericot verts?" I asked the server.

"They're like greens," she answered. Ohhhh. The only "vert" I knew until then was vertical - as in the stairs I climbed from the Tapatinis lobby to the top floor with the party.

It took several minutes for my dinner to be prepared, so I sipped on a diet cola. I didn't drink wine or a martini, because I didn't want my camera photos to be blurry -- or at least my view of them.

(The diet cola was served without a napkin, which made things a bit awkward in terms of liquid on our small round table. Another person in the party longed for a straw with her drink - but she said once she started sipping from the glass, there was no turning back.)

At last the salmon came -- on a small rectangular plate, with about as much open space as food. Truly this business lived up to its name -- only I'd spell it Tapa-Teenie, as in Weenee.

The salmon was not a full filet, but what appeared to be a center cut. It was tender, and slightly bitter without the barbecue sauce on top. The salmon practically hid the twice-baked potato salad below it - which didn't taste out of the ordinary for potato salad, but seemed scarcely made from two "new potatoes."

As for the hericot verts, a person sitting near me summed up the appearance of it: "Green beans." Actually, something with a smaller diameter and no bean at all. They were firm, but not crunchy -- and it didn't make me jump vertically at all.

(I checked a dictionary as I prepared this entry, and it defines a vert as "green growth from a forest." At least it wasn't shaped like poison ivy.)

The salmon dinner cost me eight dollars -- and in this day of extra-large portions, it was eight-dollar sized. This was not a Ruby Tuesday-sized fish. But it was perfect for people with resolutions to lose weight in 2007.

But something curious struck me as I finished dinner -- as the rectangular plate was wobbly. It didn't sit flat on the table, acting a bit like an old school desk or folding chair. The "catch of the day" didn't squirm around like that.

People around me eventually ordered other Tapatinis dishes. One woman praised the "she-crab soup." But I left without thinking to ask for the gender of my salmon.

Appearance is everything when it comes to the dishes at Tapatinis. One person ordered a chicken dish, which came with whipped potatoes swirling to a peak like an ice cream dessert. It's like the style of "The Daily Show," as opposed to the substance of a C-SPAN.

We wished Jade Hindmon well, as she heads for South Carolina. And we wished Tapatinis had a dessert menu, to provide a "nightcap" after a relatively modest dinner. In a first, the nightcap did NOT come in the form of candy at a convenience store - but a double cheeseburger from the McDonald's dollar menu.

(Which reminds me -- the McDonald's in North Phenix City actually posted a sign on its door, warning prices would go up Saturday. I've never seen a McDonald's do that before. And I wish gas stations would do that a lot more often.)

Now that we've had possibly our first combination celebrity report/restaurant review, let's check other items from the weekend:

+ The Saturday high temperature in Columbus was 72 degrees F. - and an evening run found someone using a laptop computer on the Chattahoochee Promenade, above the river. I've seen people have weddings on the promenade, but never someone trying online dating there.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the new Sam's Club near Columbus Park Crossing will open January 18. Then a Wal-Mart SuperCenter nearby will open January 23. You'll have to guess the date when the Winn-Dixie on Veterans Parkway will close.

+ Columbus Police announced they seized thousands of dollars in counterfeit name-brand merchandise from "Wow Fashions" on Buena Vista Road. The owner of the store is wanted for questioning - so he or she could be a "Wow Weasel."

+ Phenix City Councilman John Storey told a competing blog a merger of water systems with Fort Mitchell and Russell County could mean higher water rates. But he said the rates would go up more without a merger, because fewer customers would have to pay for higher production costs. So in his view, three headwaters are better than one....

+ The Royal Lippizaner Stallions performed at the Columbus Civic Center. I wasn't able to attend this - so did the spectators wear different fancy hats, or keep the same ones from the Steeplechase?

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths retired the jersey of goaltender Frankie Ouellette. I never understood why he didn't play major league hockey for the Los Angeles Kings or Anaheim Mighty Ducks - so he could tell his friends, "Frankie Goes to Hollywood."

+ Glenwood School's basketball teams both stayed unbeaten, by sweeping Northside Methodist. Northside WHO?!?! This is a bit like Florida State becoming "bowl eligible" in November by beating Western Michigan.

+ Former Atlanta Falcons coach Jim Mora was a guest studio analyst on NBC's football playoff coverage. Mora claimed his notorious phone call to a Seattle radio station "never came up" in his final meeting with Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Of course not - it was the next-to-last-straw, before those last two losses in December.

SCHEDULED MONDAY: An update on the Hurtsboro hubbub....

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-- posted by Richard at 2:16 AM

Friday, January 05, 2007

for 6 Jan 07: COLD, HARD, LITTLE CASH

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

It's been on the warm side in Columbus this week, but I've been remembering a much colder winter. It happened 25 years ago this month -- at a time when people were more concerned about nuclear winters than global warming.

Sports fans may remember how cold it was in January 1982. Cincinnati won the A.F.C. Championship at home, beating San Diego in below-zero weather. The weather may have changed - but the shock of Cincinnati playing in a Super Bowl still hasn't.

I lived in my home town of Kansas City in January 1982, and things looked grim. I was part of a two-man radio news team which was fired four months before, when the station changed formats to "The Music of Your Life." Their life, maybe - but it denied me a livelihood.

On top of that, Kansas City had big snowstorms and below-freezing weather -- while I drove a used Karmann-Ghia sports car which only had working heat emanating from the engine. It blew hot in July, and didn't blow nearly enough in early January.

I made a one-hour commute from Kansas City to Lawrence, Kansas for part-time work at a radio reading service for the blind. That provided a little income, to go with unemployment checks. But it wasn't a lot - and for a few days, I resorted to delivering Yellow Pages door-to-door for money. As long as no dogs were inside fences in the yard, that was OK....

But as I searched for full-time broadcasting work, I had a dictionary definition of a "lemon" car. The Amoco Motor Club couldn't believe how many times I called them for jump-start assistance while I was unemployed. And when you have to plug something into the engine like a computer USB to make it start, that's not a good sign.

One day in Lawrence, the car simply died -- and after I was towed to a repair shop, the repair crew gave me devastating news. My used Karmann-Ghia needed an engine overhaul. The cost: $1,000 -- more than my monthly pay at the Kansas City radio station which laid me off. I traded money for a nice line on the resume, but nice-looking resumes don't fix cars.

(If there were stores such as "Check Into Cash" in Kansas City back then, I knew nothing about them. All I knew were the rules to Monopoly and Milton Bradley's "Game of Life" - and if you went bankrupt, the game effectively was over.)

What would you have done at a moment like that? I obtained an "Ugly Duckling" rent-a-car for a few days, while the engine was overhauled -- and when I returned home to Kansas City on a Friday evening, I fell to my knees. I surrendered. I decided God had taken my job away from me, then taken my car away from me -- and with my bank account dwindling, the apartment would have been the third strike.

While I worked at the radio station in Kansas City, I started taking "short cuts" from what the Bible tells me to do. I stopped going to church. I worked or played on God's "holy day." And while I wasn't swearing, I still used language God doesn't like - such as what old-timers used to do to socks with holes in them.

After I fell on my knees and surrendered to God, amazing things began to happen. The car engine kept working for months - well, after it died a second time, and I demanded the Lawrence repair shop fix whatever it missed. The staff actually did it for free -- as I said, amazing things.

And a couple of weeks after I surrendered, I was offered a new radio job. I moved to Enid, Oklahoma, which back then had a population of about 50,000 -- and actually was paid more than the Kansas City station did. My supervisor couldn't believe radio executives in a big city could be such cheapskates.

This 25^th anniversary of the surrender would have blown right by me, but for a radio preacher I heard this week. He talked about how God sometimes allows us to go through very low moments to get our attention. In my case, it worked -- and I've striven to stay close to God since then. While I make no guarantees about the benefits, my 13-year-old Honda IS still running.

If you're at a low or difficult point in life, maybe you should do what I did. Maybe it's time to surrender. You don't need a white flag, and you don't have to sign a document aboard a battleship. Simply pray to God for help, and turn from the things that have you at a distance from Him. Go ahead and give it up - the 1982 kind of "give it up," as opposed to applauding.

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-- posted by Richard at 11:06 PM

5 JAN 07: WATER WORKED UP

Phenix City's Mayor denied Thursday there's a secret deal to merge three East Alabama water departments. Of course it's not secret - because people reportedly have been calling talk shows to complain about it.

But Mayor Jeff Hardin admitted talks have been underway, to combine the Phenix City Water Works with Russell County's and Fort Mitchell's systems. Isn't this amazing? First Phenix City allows Sunday alcohol sales - and now it may openly endorse mixed drinks.

The Phenix City Mayor says combining the city's water works with Russell County and Fort Mitchell would bring the city $22 million. Half the money would pay off old debts on the city water treatment plant. And imagine how many nightclubs could be patrolled with that other 11 million.

While the combining of water systems would bring in millions of dollars, Phenix City would have only one-third control of a combined water board. That's a sore point for some Phenix City residents - who apparently are concerned people in a Fort Mitchell mobile home park might attempt a coup.

Some people in Phenix City have long and painful memories of their water department. They remember several years ago, when a five-million dollar deal was made with Columbus Water Works. To hear some of them talk, Phenix City might as well have been renamed "West Columbus" right then and there.

I've seen one letter from an upset Phenix City resident, who claims the proposed combining of water departments is a "sale to an authority." The Mayor says the city would keep one-third control - but I suppose two-thirds of a sale constitutes a majority.

The letter from Milo Jenkins complains money from 1998 water improvement bonds was used to provide utilities to "PRIVATELY owned subdivisions." So should Phenix City only provide water to public housing complexes -- with the rest of the residents buying 12-packs of Dasani?

Milo Jenkins seems sure the formation of a joint water authority in the Phenix City area will mean higher water bills, and even higher taxes. I'm not sure if that's necessarily so. Bulk buying power seems to keep prices low at Wal-Mart....

But Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin said Thursday the impact on customer bills of a water authority is "under evaluation." At least he's saying that now. I don't recall that being said, when the city garbage contract was changed a few weeks ago.

A showdown on this issue probably will come next Thursday, when Phenix City holds a public hearing on the proposed consolidation. If Milo Jenkins is successful in making citizens angry, the turnout will be only fitting. A water controversy could attract an overflow crowd.

BLOG UPDATE: The second big inauguration of the week occurred Thursday, this time in Alabama. Unlike Tuesday's event at the Government Center, this one attracted extended live TV coverage - so take that, Mayor Wetherington! Nick Saban is the REAL man in charge around here....

Nick Saban held his first news conference as University of Alabama football coach, and declared his heart is in college coaching. But then again, he's bounced in the last ten years from Michigan State to Louisiana State to the Miami Dolphins - so maybe it's time Saban tied down his heart with bungee cords.

Nick Saban told reporters in Tuscaloosa he wants to have a "big, physical, aggressive football team." He could have stayed in the N.F.L. for that - coaching a Cincinnati Bengals team which had eight players arrested this season.

Nick Saban says to be successful at Alabama, he'll "need a lot of positive energy." There you go, Red Bull - your invitation to be the Crimson Tide's official drink.

Nick Saban claimed he'd need to evaluate candidates for a coaching staff. Yet only four hours after his news conference, Kevin Steele of Florida State reportedly was hired as Alabama's defensive coordinator. For a guy who said he didn't want the job last week, he may have missed his calling to be an evangelist.

ESPN Radio raised a couple of good points Thursday about the hiring of Nick Saban. For one thing, isn't he doing to the Miami Dolphins the same thing Dennis Franchione did when he fled Alabama for Texas A&M? The only difference is that Franchione lied to the Columbus Quarterback Club about being sick -- while Saban lied to an entire city.

(ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd actually called him "Snake Saban." Someone should tell the new coach about "12's Steakhouse" - run by the original Snake, Ken Stabler.)

For another thing, couldn't Nick Saban have another change of heart in a few years and leave Alabama? If he can't beat Jim Mora on the N.F.L. field, he might try to beat him out for the head coaching job at the University of Washington.

BIG PREDICTION: CBS will make Louisiana State-Alabama its national TV game on November 3. It'll be Nick Saban's old school against his new one - and the winner should be given first choice of the top high school players across Mississippi.

With the next Alabama-Auburn game only 46 weeks away, we take a break from the hype to consider other Thursday news:

+ The evening news showed off a new high school building at Brookstone School. It has one computer for every two students, state-of-the-art maps for
illustrating history -- and don't forget the most important thing. It was built with NO one-cent sales tax.

+ Columbus resident James Waggoner gave his 300^th blood donation to the American Red Cross. Do the math on that, and you'll find he's given more than 35 gallons of blood. I think that almost matches what they use in a full season of "C.S.I."

+ Singer Ruben Studdard announced the start of a "Scale Back Alabama" weight loss program. Studdard says he's lost 100 pounds since last summer - which means he's only 105 pounds away from matching that number he used to wear on "American Idol."

+ WRBL's 11:00 p.m. news included a Mega Millions lottery drawing. Trouble was, the drawing occurred Tuesday night - and we already know nobody matched all the numbers. Did someone ask for a rerun, to plot some kind of strategy for tonight?

+ Columbus State University split a basketball doubleheader at Augusta State. The men lost 81-75, as C.S.U. coach Doug Branson picked up his first-ever technical foul -- but he failed in his attempt to take home the referee's whistle, as a memento.

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-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

4 JAN 07: LISTING FORWARD

It may have taken years for Columbus to have one freestanding Starbucks, but the city is not far behind the curve in another hip west-coast development. We found out Wednesday there's now a Columbus area for a trendy web site -- and thankfully, it's not as silly as some of the guys pointing cameras at themselves on YouTube.

Columbus and Auburn now have their own versions of "craigslist." It's a web site much like a classified section of the newspaper. People buy and sell items, post jobs and personals - and in the great tradition of the Internet, there's a link to warnings about fraud.

A couple of other warnings might be helpful, if you're visiting craigslist for the first time. For one thing, my web browser shows a little Vietnam-era "peace" icon on the address bar. With no noticeable links to anything miliary-related, this site may be blocked at any business with "Tidwell" in its name.

Craigslist also has links to more than 70 different "discussion forums," on everything from religion and etiquette to "atheist" and "queer." There's even one called "P.O.C." - or "People of Color." So if they get tattoos, I suppose they have POC-marks.

But the craigslist discussion forums certainly are for adults only. I checked the Sports forum Wednesday night, and most of the entries in a thread on Nick Saban contained filthy language. Those Auburn fans really can be jealous, can't they?

The first mainstream word of craigslist arriving in this area apparently came in the "Columbus Community News" - which is to North Columbus what The Courier and Eco Latino are to the south side. Someday all those papers will cross Manchester Expressway.

It's interesting that a weekly paper was first with the news about craigslist - because in other cities the web site is giving newspapers fits, by taking away their classified advertising income. I think the ad sales offices call this a "game of column inches."

But because the Columbus craigslist is new, only a few local classified ads were there when I checked Wednesday. A few people were selling tickets to next month's Toby Keith concert at the Civic Center - getting whatever profits they can, before the show is called off for lack of interest.

You can also post upcoming activities and events at the Columbus craigslist. In fact, there are separate sections for "activities" and "events." I'm not sure what the difference is. Maybe an event is where everyone sits around, and nobody's active.

E-MAIL UPDATE: They say it helps to have friends in high places, and it appears we have a new one in Russell County:

Dear Sir;

Now that I've found you - I'm tempted to become ( as I've been told by others) a real pain in the #@*! I will try to resist.

I admit to being "driven" by the wrongdoing that is commonplace here in "Hurt"sboro - and realize that there are more pressing issues to the majority throughout the County. But, as you know - it only hurts when YOU are the one getting burned!!

I have a ton of facts; that I've kept to myself (I've informed the authorities) because I thought publishing them would interfere with any investigation. For example - my research indicates that two City Officials are guilty of criminal acts, But trying to get warrants issued has been impossable!!

Oh well! Now that the elections, and the HO-HO-HO season is over; maybe someone besides Sheriff Boswell will pay more attention.

Constable R.J. Schweiger....

Maybe the "ho-ho-ho season" has ended in his part of Russell County. But it never seems to stop in parts of Columbus South....

Constable Bob Schweiger sent the blog a separate e-mail Wednesday, naming the two Hurtsboro officials he believes are criminals. But we are NOT naming them for the moment here. We have not talked with them for their side of the story. And if we drive to Hurtsboro in a car with a Georgia license plate, that alleged armed gang might stop us at the city limits.

You would think Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell would have time to check on alleged corruption in Hurtsboro. After all, he's not the law officer trying to shut down bars....

But Bob Schweiger is about to lose someone who potentially could be a big ally in cleaning up Hurtsboro. The Wednesday evening news reminded me that Probate Judge Al Howard is about to leave office. If he can find small rules violations by county commissioners, he might be able to put the entire Hurtsboro City Council in jail.

Speaking of crime crackdowns in Russell County, Wednesday night's late news revealed Conrad Fowler had died in Tuscaloosa. He prosecuted some of the Phenix City corruption cases of the 1950's -- and you can't help wondering if he's been consulting Police Chief Brian McGarr over the last couple of months.

Now for other news notes from Wednesday:

+ Nick Saban agreed to become head football coach at the University of Alabama, after weeks of saying he wanted to stay with pro football's Miami Dolphins. Shame on Athletic Director Mal Moore! He used the same sort of tactics which cost Mike Price that very job -- only Saban's temptation is money.

(The Dothan Eagle reports more than 300 people were waiting at the Tuscaloosa airport to welcome Nick Saban. Either these football fans are incredibly desperate - or they're ready to give Saban resumes, to work as assistant coaches.)

+ From the Blog Byway Patrol: Seventh Street is closed downtown from Broadway to Second Avenue, and First Avenue is closed from Sixth to Eighth Street. The city is doing serious sewer repairs at Seventh and First - and that must be all, because the Historic Columbus Foundation wouldn't want "Streetscape" ruining anything there.

+ An afternoon run in the downtown area found one driver missing a stop sign on Eighth Street, and another driver going the wrong direction on one-way Fourth Street near the Oglethorpe Bridge. Is there any way we can extend "Safety Cab" until Martin Luther King Day?

+ WRBL interviewed Chattahoochee County officials - and inserted clips of a Cottonmouths fight, Coach Nick Saban and a boxing match. If you didn't know better, you might have thought ESPN's "Game Day" was heading to Cusseta this weekend.

+ Two former leaders of Atlanta's Morris Brown College were sentenced to home confinement, for stealing federal education dollars. They avoid prison time, while Linda Schrenko doesn't?! Where is the justice in.... oh yeah, I forgot. Schrenko used some of her money for a facelift.

+ The board of directors of Atlanta-based Home Depot fired President Bob Nardelli. So now you can apply to Arthur Blank for two jobs, not simply one....

(Bob Nardelli leaves Home Depot with a compensation package worth $210 million. If new mayor Jim Wetherington wants to fully fund public safety, he may have tried for the wrong job.)

+ Instant Message to Georgia Lottery President Margaret DeFrancisco: Some of us in Columbus are surprised at you. In your new commercial about one million HOPE scholarships, we thought sure you'd say at some point, "Thank you, Alabama."

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-- posted by Richard at 12:20 AM

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

3 JAN 07: ALL-WETHERINGTON

"I want to congratulate the twoest new members...." So said the new mayor of Columbus Tuesday, during the inauguration of himself and new Councilors Tuesday. Maybe that's why even the program had lines calling it a "Swearing In Ceremony" - much easier to say.

Jim Wetherington took the oath of office as Columbus's 67^th mayor Tuesday afternoon -- and was the Government Center's Plaza Level ever swarming with police officers! You certainly can tell when the Fraternal Order of Police candidate wins an election.

(In fact, we hope those of you who speeding on Macon Road around midday Tuesday enjoyed it. With a "law-and-order" mayor now in charge, you can't expect that to last much longer.)

Jim Wetherington gave a 12-minute, mostly read-from-a-script speech, in which he outlined his "vision for the community." He wants the city to be more aggressive in finding problems. He wants the government to be more compassion in how it operates. And we all want the police department NOT to get those two things mixed up.

The new mayor began by thanking his campaign volunteers and promising, "I will never forget you." OK, you Government Center "sources" - be on the lookout for ticket fixing.

I didn't see former Mayor Bob Poydasheff at the ceremony, but Jim Wetherington gave credit to him. "Mayor Poydasheff's tracks are all over Columbus, Georgia," the new mayor said - which is interesting, because I only knew about that one street in a new subdivision.

Jim Wetherington offered a question for Columbus citizens to use, in evaluating his administration. "Do you trust your city government?" Some people would answer that they trust it about as far as a prison inmate can throw trash in a dumpster....

"We need to be more aggressive about finding and fixing problems," Jim Wetherington told about 300 people at the ceremony. From a "law and order" mayor, this sounds serious - to find the problem before the newspaper, TV stations and bloggers do.

On the other hand, the new mayor said Columbus city government needs to be "more compassionate in how we operate." The five new Councilors set a great example of this, by hugging each other after taking the oath of office. [True!]

Jim Wetherington confirmed Columbus still has 22 openings in the police force. He promised to fill those vacancies, but advised city departments NOT to use personnel shortages as a "crutch." Well, the Columbus Health Department might qualify as an exception....

Jim Wetherington also said he hopes to be remembered as a mayor who "listened to the people." It's a rare day when an elected official uses his opening speech to begin writing his farewell address.

Jim Wetherington talked of his concern for the Public Library property, and improving Midtown and Baker Village. But he said nothing about the future of downtown or Columbus South in general - so maybe that's where the first police sweeps are planned.

It was also inauguration day for five Columbus Councilors. Two of them are newcomers Jerry Barnes and Mike Baker - and Barnes blew a couple of kisses from the stage as he stood to take the oath. As we say, it's nice to see the more compassionate government starting so early.

Jim Wetherington asked friend Cheryl Myers to be "mistress of ceremonies" for the inauguration. You probably remember her as former TV news anchor Cheryl Morgan - and she recalled they first met when Wetherington was police chief, and she was "a pesky underpaid television reporter." Things have changed since then, of course. Today's reporters are a bit less pesky.

(In a big surprise, Cheryl Myers has turned quite brunette in recent months. At least she was nonpartisan - with her hair neither red nor blue.)

After the inaugural remarks, one "wild card" remained for me in the ceremony. We noted here last week Pastor Wayne Baker was asked to give the benediction - and to my surprise, he gave the sort of benediction you'd expect at the end of a Methodist church service. He did NOT pray for Sheriff's Deputies to be slower in drawing their weapons.

Before taking office, Jim Wetherington gave an "entry interview" to WRCG's TalkLine. Robbie Watson called him "Mayor" several times - leaving me to wonder if there was some secret ceremony at a Broadway nightclub early Monday, which no one else knew about.

The new mayor told WRCG he ran for office in part because "I tried retirement, and I didn't like it." Jim Wetherington even thanked his wife Shirley during his inaugural remarks for enduring his "detours from retirement." I won't be surprised if this former police chief winds up his years as a private investigator.

A ceremony scheduled for 45 minutes was over in 30, perhaps because it was a chilly and breezy day outside the Government Center. The midday sun was blocked by the main tower, so the north plaza was in the shade. Do you think that was done on purpose, to illustrate the impact of "landfill-gate?"

Anyone who's anyone in Columbus attended the inauguration. Among the people I saw were Columbus State University President Frank Brown, Chamber of Commerce President Mike Gaymon and potential Georgia NAACP President Edward DuBose. DuBose obviously was there to make sure no one uttered any racial slurs.

Incumbent Columbus Councilors also attended the ceremony. Gary Allen wore a suit, while Skip Henderson chose a sports jacket with an open collar - which helps you to spot which council member is liberal and which is conservative.

(I even spotted Pastor Prather Powell in the crowd - perhaps ready to take the District 5 council seat on the spot, if Mike Baker fell off the platform and had a concussion.)

The crowd then moved inside for a reception. Our first-ever blog entry was about Bob Poydasheff's Trade Center reception with all sorts of treats, big round tables and a jazz band. [6 Jan 03] Jim Wetherington's event was inside the Government Center's Plaza Level, with singers from Northside High School -- and people who found seats at only a few tables settled for chicken salad sandwiches.

The Northside chorus brought a boom-box for accompaniment - which was quite a change from my high school and college choir days, when a piano was always at events like this. You had to assume it was in tune sometimes, but at least it was there....

(The chorus at one point sang Waylon Jennings's "Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys" - and I told Mike Gaymon it was "classic music of the 20^th-century." He agreed.)

The reception also allowed me to meet Superior Court Judge Bobby Peters and his new wife, Kim. For some odd reason, so far MTV has NOT signed them to star in the next edition of "Newlyweds."

Your blog was first to confirm the wedding of Bobby Peters to a computer expert at Columbus State University [26 Nov 06]. The judge joked his bride has been trying to take my blog down ever since. This former attorney should realize it's HIS profession which could be more successful at doing this - through lawsuits.

So how did Bobby and Kim Peters meet? The judge revealed she was an interpreter in a court case he had. Don't they say something about love having a language all its own?

I left the Government Center at about 1:10 p.m., and a work crew had removed almost all the chairs set up on the outdoor Plaza Level for the inauguration. Maybe those inmates were given something for their effort. Not time off for good behavior -- but some pistachio cheese sandwiches from the reception.

Now let's walk home from the big event, and jot down some other news notes from Tuesday:

+ The Phenix City Police Chief warned Gonzoe's Sports Bar in the Phenix Plaza shopping center may be shut down, because of violations. The manager is trying to please the police, by imposing a minimum age of 25 -- so if the bar is shut down, he could turn it into a rent-a-car company.

(The manager of Gonzoe's Bar is named Jerry Barnes, but he's NOT the Jerry "Pops" Barnes who's now on Columbus Council. His sign makes that clear - he's "jazz and blues.")

+ St. Francis Hospital reported the use of "Safety Cab" over the holidays increased by 27 percent, compared with a year ago. This is one time when it's good for drunk drivers to be Yellow. Or Ranger, or City or....

+ Aflac promoted Paul Amos II to the title of President. Once again, the duck is a victim of nepotism....

+ Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban asked the University of Alabama for more time to consider a big contract proposal. When you're offered 40 million dollars and you have to "sleep on it," you must have a very good investment adviser.

+ Instant Message to Georgia running back Danny Ware: You didn't start at the end of the season, yet you're leaving college for the pro football draft?! I hope you enjoy playing in Canada....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3416 (+ 73, 2.2%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:00 AM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

2 JAN 07: SOUTHERN JUSTICE

Before we begin, please don't be misled by our title. We will NOT focus on Jim Wetherington's inauguration until Wednesday....

Instead, we're talking "Bowl Day USA" here - and it was easy for me to pick a team to support in Monday's Cotton Bowl. Auburn is located close to Columbus. And the Nebraska Cornhuskers historically have squashed my old school Kansas in football like corn meal for a muffin.

Auburn pulled out a 17-14 Cotton Bowl win in Dallas, despite having only 46 yards of offense in the first half. The Tigers were saved by having plenty of POT -- you know, 14 Points Off Turnovers.

But ouch, the Fox Sports announcers at the Cotton Bowl had my jaw dragging the floor at times. Pat Summerall is a legend, but he declared the game had "a sellout crowd, of course" - even though the attendance was well under capacity, at less than 67,000. Maybe Summerall bought all those empty seats.

Then there was Fox Sports analyst Brian Baldinger, who declared a Cotton Bowl player attended Butler County Community College in "El Diablo, Kansas." Kansas natives like I winced, because the school is in El Dorado. Even in Kansas, cities would NOT be named after the devil.

If you watched the Cotton Bowl on WXTX, you also saw a clip of Carrie Underwood appearing before military personnel on a USO tour. An e-mailer last week [24 Dec 06] asked us what celebrities were doing for personnel in Iraq. Maybe they're trying to arrange more free streaming audio of bowl games.

But oh yes, there was a football game - and Auburn took the field at the Cotton Bowl by having players link arms with Coach Tommy Tuberville. What a nice show of unity. And what a nice opportunity next season, for a Lowe's sponsorship.

How weird was it to see a "B. Jackson" running for Nebraska, against Auburn? His name is Brandon Jackson, and he scored a touchdown. From what I've seen recently of Bo Jackson, he might have trouble running with boxes of his sweet potato pies.

Lest we forget, it actually was the "AT&T Cotton Bowl" - and you'd better get used to the AT&T logo which was all over the field, because the merger with BellSouth is now final. When they put the word "connected" all around the field, that includes the board of directors.

We should not overlook the referee of the Cotton Bowl, who officiated his last football game. He's the Sheriff of Cook County, Illinois -- as in Chicago. He may have been surprised no boosters tried to bribe him, to fix the outcome.

Things didn't go as well for Georgia Tech in its Bowl Day game. The Yellow Jackets had an 18-point third-quarter lead, but lost to West Virginia 38-35. We should have expected this comeback to happen - because Mountaineers are used to climbing uphill.

Georgia Tech and West Virginia faced off in Jacksonville, at the Toyota Gator Bowl. There was even a Toyota Tundra parked in the stands, behind one end zone - and I kept waiting for a kicker to put the ball in the truck's bed, to get a bonus point.

Did you see the big sign along the side of the field at the Gator Bowl, thanking "W.W. Gay employees?" At first I saw only the right side of the sign, and thought they might have moved the game from Jacksonville to San Francisco.

Georgia Tech sophomore quarterback Taylor Bennett offered hope for the future, as he led the offense to 335 first-half yards. That's the way the Reggie Ball bounces....

But do you realize in the last 365 days, West Virginia has beaten both Georgia and Georgia Tech in bowl games? Young men must not be mining coal the way they once did, and hurting their health with all that dust in their lungs.

One big question after the Gator Bowl is what will happen to Georgia Tech's star receiver Calvin Johnson. Will he return to college next season? Will he turn pro? And when was the last time a college football player like Johnson went to Bolivia, for something other than a Mormon mission?

The CBS broadcast team noted Calvin Johnson will go to Bolivia in a few weeks, as part of a Georgia Tech research project. For too many college students these days, it would be a research project to find Bolivia on an old-fashioned map.

West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez may have brought back bad memories for some Alabama football fans. The CBS announcers said Rodriguez's decision to coach the Crimson Tide was announced on the P.A. system at her daughter's school last month -- but then Rodriguez talked with his daughter, and may have changed his mind. The lesson here is clear: talk to your family before the Birmingham News.

Alabama football made news Monday, even though its bowl game is over. Several reports say Nick Saban was offered a 40-million dollar package to leave Miami in the N.F.L. and become head coach. Athletic Director Mal Moore reportedly even flew to Miami - if only so Saban could see how Moore looks when he's absolutely desperate.

Football remains on our brain, as we send some Instant Messages....

+ To Jim Mora Jr.: Oh well -- at least now you have plenty of time to figure out the moving bill. How much would it cost to move from Atlanta to the University of Washington in Seattle?

+ To WEAM-AM: Let me get this straight. You had live coverage of the New Mexico Bowl and the Hawaii Bowl - but apparently NOT the Rose Bowl?! I mean, the University of Michigan is on our side of the Mississippi River.

+ To everyone I saw riding bicycles on the Riverwalk late Monday afternoon: Were the children having some kind of race? And did my jogging by some of them hurt their egos so much that they quit?

+ To everyone who lit fireworks in Columbus Monday afternoon and evening: I don't think you can declare a New Year's "rain delay."

COMING WEDNESDAY: A new era begins at the Government Center....

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3343 (+ 120, 3.7%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

-- posted by Richard at 12:08 AM

Monday, January 01, 2007

1 JAN 07: HAND OUT THE HARDWARE

Thank you, thank you all -- and welcome to the annual Burkard Awards, honoring the most noteworthy people, places and things of 2006! We do this now to beat the award show rush. And besides, you may still be wearing "party formals" as you read this.

Without any further adieu (and why do people never admit they add further adieu, anyway?), let's present the Burkard Award winners for this year!

+ Biggest news story of the year: The Northern Little League winning the World Series. But what did they do wrong? They're NOT on Tuesday's mayoral inauguration program.

+ Biggest political story of the year: Two longtime incumbents in Columbus city government being voted out of office. Maybe the "Big Eddy Club" has been replaced by the F.O.P. Club.

+ Biggest business story of the year: Road America's new call center. I'll believe there's a Kia plant in West Point when there's a grand opening, and the executives are not in prison.

+ Most shocking business development: The closing of not one, but two barbecue restaurants along U.S. 280 in Phenix City. All those new restaurants at Columbus Park Crossing must be disrupting people's taste buds.

+ Biggest business mystery: That Eufaula may approve a Wal-Mart SuperCenter faster than Columbus Council did for the store in Midland. I won't be surprised if Eufaula's store opens first.

+ Biggest overall mystery of the year: The name of the Revenue Department employee who wrote off landfill payments, and shredded documents detailing them. Could this person possibly be a member of the Big Eddy Club?

+ Biggest sports mystery of the year: How 8,000 or more fans could fill the Columbus Civic Center to welcome home the Little League champions at 6:00 p.m. on a stormy afternoon, but nowhere near that many show up for Columbus Catfish games at 7:00 p.m. when the weather's nice.

+ Politician most in denial: Don Siegelman. Honorable mention: Nathan Suber.

+ Politician most conspicuous by his silence: Dylan Glenn.

+ Candidate most likely to run for office in 2008 and win: Ronnie Reed for Russell County Commissioner.

+ Candidate most likely NOT to be reelected: Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue. We awarded him this last year, too - but now it's because of term limits.

+ Best prediction on our part from a year ago: The switch of WHAL-AM from gospel music to Spanish. I think I've finally figured out the difference between Paulina Rubio's voice and Shakira's.

+ Subject of the most frequent negative rumors: Muscogee County Schools Athletic Director Charles Flowers. He hasn't left his job. He doesn't have an official assistant. And he wasn't able to fix the baseball playoffs, so Shaw beat Columbus High.

+ Coach of the year: At the risk of being daring, we give this to Carver High School football coach Dell McGee. Few people really expected this "Dell upgrade" to work, yet it did.

+ Best potential sports trade: The Atlanta Falcons dealing Jim Mora Jr. to Alabama, for Mike Shula and a couple of draft choices.

+ Mismatch of the year: Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell asking for a 20 percent staff raise, while it was the Phenix City Council which voted for awhile to triple the mayor's salary.

+ Utility person of the year: WRBL's now-departed Blaine Stewart. He anchored the news, presented the weather for several weeks, had the title "Senior Producer" - and we may hear him for months to come, explaining the fine points of high-definition TV.

+ Beggar of the year: We met eight of them, and give the prize to the man in the parking lot of Winn-Dixie on South Lumpkin Road. He said twice, "I'm not a bad person" - then refused to let us see the car which needed gas, and said he could only accept money where he was standing.

+ Biggest disappointment of the year: WRCG dismissing Antonio Carter as co-host of "TalkLine." His rotating replacements would never mix in with the crowd at a civil rights rally.

+ Most disappointing sale (so far): The quitting-business sale at Parisian. A 20-percent discount off overpriced clothing is still too high.

+ Strangest controversy of the year: The debate in the Ledger-Enquirer over who killed Columbus Square Mall. Maybe the man who led the Princess Diana inquiry should come to town, and settle this.

+ Strangest irony of the year: That the "Lucky 7 Lounge" caught fire, and didn't make it to the start of 2007.

+ Biggest musical embarrassment: The Columbus Civic Center selling only a couple dozen tickets for its tenth anniversary concert. Maybe if the Northern Little League had been taught to sing....

+ Most interesting tour of homes: To see where Ed Harbison lives, in both Columbus and Atlanta.

+ Most distracting thing for Riverwalk joggers: The smell of cinnamon rolls and pies from the Dolly Madison bakery on Victory Drive.

+ Nicest surprise on radio: The new WURY-FM at 97.1. What other Christian radio station would dare play Elvis Presley songs?

+ Most overdue improvement on radio: WDAK adding more local news to each half-hour in the morning. But I still think Bruce Lee is a better meteorologist than Chris Weber.

+ Best new discovery on Columbus television: The Rivertown Ford infomercials. The staff's stardom has gone to their heads so much, they appeared in the Bi-City Christmas Parade.

+ Nicest distraction on Columbus television: Deborah Singer. Yes, I've told her (sort of). Yes, she's spoken for. Sigh.

+ Longest name on Columbus television: WRBL reporter Susan-Elizabeth Littlefield.

+ Best candidate for a TV reality series: The Russell County School District.

+ Funniest preacher: LaGrange's Aaron McCollough, whose "Fresh Fire" broadcast is on WSHE-AM on Sunday mornings. Sometimes he cracks so many one-liners that he forgets the topic of his sermon.

+ Best blog competition: the new "Fountain City Journal," written by Columbus political activist Colin Martin. He analyzes local politics. Now all he needs is a joke writer.

+ Nicest weather surprise: That I can write this blog on the night of December 31 in running shorts, without the heat on.

+ Nicest (other) thing about a rainy December 31: That your neighbor in the apartment complex can't shoot off his noisy "sparklers" just outside his porch.

+ Blog joke of the year: We defer to a co-worker, who offered this question in early December -- why didn't Columbus Councilor Nathan Suber put on a cape in his campaign commercials, and call himself "Suber-man?" It just might have worked.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3223 (- 170, 5.1%)

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