18 JAN 07: SAM I AM?

Before we get to our main topic: warm greetings to those of you who are reading our blog at the Hurtsboro post office! We understand we're being printed out and posted there now - which makes me thankful I don't post my picture here as well.

More on the Hurtsboro hubbub later.... but FIRST:

"Your Sam's Club is moving to better serve you!" So said the promotional mailing I received a few days ago. But if I live downtown, and you're moving the club farther north, how does that better serve me? It is because you've put a gas station outside the new store, to make up the difference?

The new Sam's Club officially has its grand opening near Columbus Park Crossing today. But it actually opened for customers Wednesday morning -- with an "exclusive business preview." That failed effort to start a sports league still is paying small dividends....

The mailing from Sam's Club included a "one-day guest pass" to the building, with a ten-percent markup "service fee" on anything I would buy. But the biggest attraction to me was a "complimentary continental breakfast." The equation is simple: Single Guy + Free Food = Schedule Change.

The new Sam's Club is located on Whittlesey Boulevard, just past the intersection with Weems Road. The new Wal-Mart SuperCenter is next door, and will open next week. But be warned -- parking could be confusing at least, and messy at worst. That's because the parking spaces have more angles than some champion billiard players.

I turned right at what appeared to be the first entrance to Sam's Club from Whittlesey Boulevard -- and quickly found that was a big mistake. It's apparently an exit only, with lots of stripes where the entryway should be. I wound up going backwards on a couple of lanes leading to parking spaces -- which made me feel guilty, although most Columbus drivers probably won't care.

After finding a parking space without wrecking, I walked to the door of Sam's Club with my preview card. Amazingly, no one was at the front door or foyer tables to check me at about 9:15 a.m. For all they knew, I might have been an ordinary run-of-the-mill shopper....

Sam's Club promises "warehouse savings" on all sorts of items, from groceries to business supplies. But the first thing which struck me Wednesday was what was placed closest to the door -- shelves filled with high-definition and flat-screen TV sets. Customers won't want to leave the business waiting rooms, with those things everywhere.

Not far away was a display of Bose speakers for my computer. They're supposed to be acoustically superior, like those "wave radios" Paul Harvey has offered for years -- although I've wondered why you'd need such a pricy radio to hear him read the news.

The music played through Bose speakers didn't sound that different from the computer speakers I have -- the ones I only turn on when I must, to save on electricity. I only find them absolutely vital when I'm playing Windows "3D Pinball."

I'd been in Sam's Clubs a couple of times before, and knew part of the fun is the free food samples around the store. I picked up a microwave cheese stick, a slice of Atlanta Cheesecake, half a Snickers bar - and amazingly, none of that was the continental breakfast.

I was given a certificate as I entered for a free vision screening at the Sam's Club optical center. But when I went there, a woman walked me halfway across the store to a table I'd already visited for free lens cleaning. My vision HAD to be OK, because I read the instructions on the certificate perfectly....

After I read a couple of lines of letters with my glasses on, I was told my vision is 20/30 in my right eye. This means my right eye is weaker than my left. Don't tell my friends at church that - because I think some of them suspect I'm left-leaning already.

The Sam's Club "business preview" featured a table with office supplies. I couldn't help asking a man about a shredder on a table, "Is that the official shredder of the Government Center?"

But the big issue for me at a store like Sam's Club is the bottom line. Do you really save money with "warehouse club pricing?" I scribbled down some random prices:

+ Bananas in a bag: 98 cents. This might be worth buying, simply for the novelty of seeing bagged bananas in the produce section.

+ Ground chuck in a case: $1.41 per pound. That's pretty good - but frozen ground turkey at the new Wal-Mart will cost you 13 cents less, and be better for your bloodstream.

+ Diet Coke: a four-pack of two-liter bottles for $4.23. The Wal-Mart brand would save me more than $1.50 - and can you really tell them apart, over ice?

+ "Joint Juice Plus:" $18.88. This was in the health department - but I thought they only sold this stuff at nightclubs.

+ Walnut grill: $1,000. At that price, who would dare roll it off an enclosed porch -- even on a sunny day?

+ Sam's Club regular unleaded gasoline: $2.13 a gallon. Prices are drifting lower than that on the other side of Columbus - but where are the Kohl's and Sears stores down there?

I decided Wednesday what I had concluded several years ago, when it comes to Sam's Club -- it's not really for me. The "savings" really aren't that much. And I live in a relatively small apartment -- so buying items by the case eventually would mean I'd have no room for my legs under the kitchen table.

Oh yes, about that continental breakfast - it was served in the Sam's Club "café," and offered a nice mix of items. I enjoyed fruit, apple juice and chocolate chip muffins. But would you call Sam's Club to order a 16-inch large pizza for $7.97? Little Caesar's is a little lower....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now we head back to Hurtsboro - and we knew one of Tuesday's e-mails would draw a response....

Richard:

I was pleased to see that a "concerned" citizen responded to my claims! I'm only disappointed that they weren't courageous enough to sign their name!

Now, let me clear up a couple of misquotes - and then get on to - as Joe Friday used to say. "The facts Maam; just the facts."

First of all, although accused - I'm not a racist - I've never attended a NASCAR event! And, I NEVER accused Micheal Bellamy of being a criminal!!! I merely said that he was imported to "Hurt"sboro to "sit" in on my particular trial. This is the second time that "Judge" white has called in outside help and recused himself when the cheese got too binding! So far, I've won one, and I'm still at the plate on the second one. Even if I lose, it will serve as an expose! I'm confused by the writer's statement of a possible civil action - since when are provable facts - grounds for litigation? And believe me! I have a stack of documents that I've been trying to get somebody to look at for more than two years!

Now, let me plead "guilty" or at least admit that some of the writer's claims are true. I've been labled unstable by some, especially when I point out the obvious. I've made many enemies in "Hurt"sboro's City Hall by uncovering the embezzlment of a large sum of municipal funds, asking for an audit of the Municipal Court, and questioning the employment of a police officer who wasn't qualified. There has been enough uncovered to warrant censure by the Ethics Commission and an action by the District Attorney! There's more, much more and I will gladly verify it - if I'm asked!

I also admit that I do live in a "Barn" and sleep in my kennel office. But I would wager a farthing that my domicile far exceeds the "Concerned" Resident's hovel!

The man who lays down with dogs

Constable R.J. Schweiger

I guess I put two of the Constable's messages together incorrectly. First he e-mailed the blog, suggesting two Hurtsboro city officials were "guilty of criminal acts." [4 Jan] Then he sent another e-mail, dropping the name of Michael Bellamy. Sometimes names can drift away from the spot where you're trying to drop them.

And uh-oh - who's bringing up a "race card" in Hurtsboro? If anyone is, the Constable may try to have that person arrested for gambling....

A Hurtsboro resident told me Wednesday R.J. Schweiger truly has made "many enemies" - and not merely at City Hall. He's reportedly been barred from almost every business in town, because he's threatened and filed so many lawsuits. This Constable sounds like a personal one-man armed gang -- only armed with court summonses.

This Hurtsboro resident, who is in a position to know, says R.J. Schweiger's real goal is for the Hurtsboro city government to be taken over by Russell County. Trouble is, Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell reportedly won't give Constable Schweiger any work to do. Boswell is apparently concerned the Constable might serve papers the way Jack Bauer enforces justice on "24."

In fact, this Hurtsboro resident does not want his/her name used because he/she is concerned R.J. Schweiger will come after them! The Constable might even call out the dogs - since we've now confirmed he has several.

By the way, Instant Message to Russell County Judge Michael Bellamy: Hi -- uh, your honor. We understand you're reading our blog now. I drive the speed limit as best I can when I'm in Phenix City - really.

We'll ring the bell to end today's round there - and move on to Tuesday's big vote at Columbus Council:

That settlement related to the Walker case is outrageous. Three men were detained four hours; that works out to over $10,000 an hour! I would volunteer for jail time at that rate! Granted, these men didn't "volunteer," but they did travel in a car matching the description.... which seems reasonably to give probable cause.

Note that the men had an incentive to settle. The lawyer usually gets a smaller share by contingency (e.g., 20% instead of 33%), and his expenses are fewer than if he took it to trial. Moreover, the full circumstances about the night would come out in testimony.

At least Councilors McDaniel and Davis have sense. The rest ought to find some "private funding" to pay off the men similar to how the Library Board discovered some funding to cover their breach of contract with the renowned painted-garbage sculptor.

Double-checking the math: if each of the three men is paid $125,000, they'll actually be paid more than $30,000 an hour. That's a scale almost on the order of what major league baseball teams are paying relief pitchers.

The city of Columbus has a special "reserve fund" for situations such as this settlement. In fact, wasn't a commercial jingle made about that? You know -- "Living off the grand reserve is what life was meant to be."

Our last e-mail is about one particular member of Columbus Council, whom we mentioned here Tuesday:

There is no medical degree required for some symptoms. Ms. Evelyn Turner-Pugh's Parkinsons has been visible to anyone that watched or attended a council meeting. I am glad to see how well she handles it and that she finally felt comfortable enough to announced it.

We certainly do wish the Mayor Pro-Tem well. Maybe she'll follow the lead of another person with Parkinson's disease -- and if she keeps winning elections, she'll join Muhammad Ali as an honorary captain at sports events.

We thank all of you who write us - and now we'll write a little more about Wednesday news:

+ GPB's "Lawmakers" reported Rep. Calvin Smyre of Columbus has flown to Washington, to lobby for full federal funding of health care programs such as PeachCare. He'd better hurry - because once House Democrats finish their "100-hour" agenda, they may be too tired to approve anything for weeks.

+ WRBL found a group of homeless people living under the Second Avenue Bridge. The city planned to put an eight-foot-high fence around the bridge, but Mayor Jim Wetherington has ordered that stopped for at least a month. This is amazing -- as the heart of the "Big Chief" actually seems to melt when the weather turns colder.

+ An executive with Sandman, Inc. told the evening news he tried to contact city revenue officials several times, about paying old landfill fees. But efforts to reach Craig Strain were unsuccessful - leading me to wonder if that shredder in his office had any pink strips, for phone messages.

+ Phenix City officials announced Stadium Drive will be widened, around South Railroad Drive. There will be more room for school buses in the morning and afternoon -- and a lot more room for drivers, as they head to a Wal-Mart SuperCenter about to lose a lot of business.

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue proposed a $20.2 billion budget, saying it includes a three-percent raise for teachers. Does that mean their gift card next summer will have an extra $1.50 on it?

+ Clayton State swept Columbus State in a basketball doubleheader. The Cougar men's team played without a star player - who not only fractured his ankle, but somehow made WDAK announcer Scott Miller sick in the process.

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