for 23 JAN 07: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED NOT FAR FROM THE FORUM
"Wawa?"
What? What? This question was asked of me as I walked into a supermarket on South Lumpkin Road Monday afternoon - and surprisingly, it did NOT come from a one-year-old baby.
I stopped the walk just outside the door, and turned toward a middle-aged man holding a metal cane. His voice was hesitant, so he had to repeat himself. "Wawa? Are you Barry Young [not the real name]? You used to do the lights?"
"Go back to the beginning," I said to the man to be sure I understood him. "Wawa?" This could have meant many things....
+ He could have been a beggar, asking me to give him some water. Don't supermarkets have drinking fountains in the back corner anymore? Or is that dangerous, without some anti-bacterial soap present?
+ He could have been asking for a ride -- but people in the Florida panhandle call the town of Wewahitchka "Wee-wa" for short.
+ The real longshot possibility: he thought I was a distant relative of Barbara Walters - or even Elmer Fudd.
"I thought you were Barry Young," the man explained. "I used to work with him years ago."
"And he did the lights?"
"Yeah." I had visions of this man hanging strings of lights on the Riverwalk in November.
"Where?" I asked the man with a cane.
"Over at The Forum." He pointed north - but he stumped me. I'd never heard of The Forum. At least not in Columbus. But I seriously doubt he meant the old hockey arena in Montreal.
"He did the lights at The Forum and said 'wa-wa' when he moved them," the man said shuffling his hands back and forth like he was at a control panel. "So we called him Wawa." At least he didn't say anything involving the word "crack."
At last I had an explanation - but by this point, the man with the cane realized I was NOT Barry Young. "I thought you might be him, after all these years. I'm not a crazy man." OK, I'll take his word for it. But with a nickname like that, maybe Barry moved out west to Walla Walla.
You probably don't care about the milk and sweet rolls I bought inside the supermarket - so we'll move on to other Monday highlights:
+ The late news noted the official Columbus temperature has not dropped below freezing in 43 days. I hope our readers in Malibu and Phoenix who saw snow are jealous.
+ The 598th Maintenance Company held a deployment ceremony at Fort Benning. Soldiers leave next week, for what an Army statement calls "southwest Asia." Have things become so touchy that the government is afraid to call it Iraq?
+ The staff of Mario's Italian Restaurant on Broadway complained they've been unable to open some evenings, because the sidewalk part of the Streetscape project still isn't finished. I think the staff simply needs to be more creative. Pour some food coloring on the mud, decorate the orange barrels, then declare a "Pompeii volcano" night.
(Uptown Columbus President Richard Bishop promises the Streetscape work on Broadway will be completely finished by summer -- just in time for the next police crackdown to scare beer-drinking customers away.)
+ Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington had a busy day - cutting the ribbon for the new Wal-Mart SuperCenter on Whittlesey Boulevard, then cutting the ribbon for the reopened Sandwich Shanty downtown. I hope he had time to rest, between those events....
+ Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones showed off a newly-expanded detention center. When it opens in May, criminals will be assigned to various "pods" inside the center - so even behind bars, inmates can experience podcasts.
(For some reason, Lee County calls it a "detention center." Maybe years from now, they'll officially name it the Jay Jones Jail.)
+ The Plains City Council asked the city attorney to investigate whether sagging "low-rider" jeans can be outlawed. City officials fear the clothing will distract tourists visiting the Jimmy Carter National Historic Site. Besides, statistics show inflation did NOT drop while Mr. Carter was President....
+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue sent a letter to U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, requesting Congress approve $131 million in federal money for the PeachCare program. It's at moments like this that some Republicans wonder if Perdue really converted to their party.
+ San Diego Padres baseball player Mike Cameron was the guest speaker at the Kendrick High School football banquet. Yes, I know Cameron grew up in LaGrange. But a baseball player, speaking at a football banquet?! Isn't this a bit like Zell Miller speaking at a Republican party convention?! I mean.... oh wait....
+ Miami police confirmed Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick will NOT face criminal charges, for that water bottle seized at the airport. This marks Vick's first post-season victory since the 2004 divisional playoffs.
+ Instant Message to WRBL's Phil Scoggins: You didn't have to fill your gas tank for $2.16 a gallon, you know. The price was as low as $2.03 on Victory Drive Monday - and your staff could help improve the Columbus South economy while it's there.
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